The Return of the Case of the Vegetarian Vampire Meets Count Duckula's Werewolf, the Hunter and the Greatest Vampire in the World...

Mud went squelching underfoot as the two vampire hunters made their way up the uneven trail.

All at once Von Ganderak grabbed Goosewing's arm and threatened to pull him over the ledge. "Ach, it's so slippery!"
Goosewing pulled him back onto the path. "Zhe trek to zhe home of zhe foul fiend is treacherous even on a good day. Zhey do not make it easy." He turned back to the path, "We are vasting time." Goosewing hurried onwards up the steep incline. "Follow me."
"You are wery fit." Ganderak fell in step behind him. "You seem to know exactly where to step."
"Practice I am having, ja."

Goosewing eyed the pathway as he walked along. Water puddled in darker patches on the stones along the steep path up to Castle Duckula. He could make out every slippery spot, every pebble, every struggling patch of grass along his way.

"Zhere are better days that ve should be doingk zhis." Goosewing mentioned. Any day that it wasn't raining or when his bones weren't constantly complaining would a better day. But at least he was outside, enjoying the wind and the smell of the ground, the calls of the wild birds and the thrill of the chase.

"So far so good." Ganderak eyed his vampirometer readings as at last they made it to the top. The gaping maw of the castle was waiting before them. "Ve have a whole wampire party upstairs it seems." He stated as they walked in through the busted open doorway.

'Leave, run, run!' Goosewing paused for a moment on the threshold as a wordless urge to turn around shook his already questionable resolve. 'Escape, be free!'

"Zhere are ... six ... seven wampires." Von Ganderak was saying. "Ve had better set our beams to vide dispersal. Doctor? Do you agree?" Ganderak roused him.

It dawned on Goosewing that they were standing in the hall of Castle Duckula and it was past nightfall.

"Ach, ja, ja. Das ist a good idea you are having, ja." Goosewing grabbed his ray gun from his side to change the settings but his fingers locked up. His hands turned to fumbling paws, his grip failed and the gun clattered to the floor. His fingers shifted back.

Ganderak turned to him on the sound of the gun hitting the floor. "Vhat is zhe matter, Doctor?"
"I am before telling you!" Goosewing gritted in annoyance. "Ve need to vait a few days!"
"A few days and the wampires vill have escaped!" Ganderak snapped, "In a few days you vill only be older and more decrepit!"

"Decrepit! Did you hear that, Goosewing? How imperceptive of him." The voice of Count Duckula rose to greet them.

"Ach, nein it is Count Duckula himself!" Goosewing stared in horror at what he was seeing. It was the count plus five vampires and ... "Claudette?"

The woman who'd been his company for several nights tried to move forwards to him but one of the other vampires grabbed her back.

"Oh, no you don't, you little wench; I know what you're thinking."

"Unhand her!" Goosewing glared angrily at the vampire.
"Doctor, nein; sie ist a wampire, like all the others." Ganderak told him.
Goosewing turned angrily to Ganderak. "I said I vould protect her! She has information that ... ach!" The wordless urge for freedom covered him from head to foot now. He turned, looking to the broken front door, the light beaming in from the parting clouds. "Nein the clouds have gone! It is ... moonlight! We need to leave!"
"Moonlight?" Ganderak repeated, stepping back from Goosewing. "Are you telling me-."

"I shall take that, thank you!"
"Achtung! Doctor, help!" The dark haired woman vampire was at Ganderak's side and it was the last thing Goosewing could understand before his mind clouded with a savage hunger and his muscles ached to run and give chase.

Goosewing felt all his bones crackling at once, shifting under the light of the full moon. His vision tinted to grey.

'Freedom!' He howled.

Duckula closed his eyes, the pure animal of the werewolf shouted unmistakeably in his mind. "Oh, no!" When he reopened his eyes his vision of Emily and Ganderak in her grip had gone a delicious vibrant red. "Emily, I ..."

His fangs were tingling. Memories flooded Duckula's mind. They were glorious, revelling, tasty forbidden centuries-old memories of sweet and dainty things that Emily reminded him of. Duckula gasped and turned away from her, outraged to even catch a glimpse of such thoughts let alone having them in his own head. "Goosewing!" He glared hotly at the werewolf standing four-footed and confused amongst the onlooking crowd. "This is your doing! You fix this right now!" He bellowed.

In response, Goosewing flattened his ears and cringed with his tail between his legs. He let out a whimper.

To Duckula's right there was laughter again. "This is too much! Claudette, you're in love with a puppy dog."
"A pu-pu-puppy dog?" An incredulous Duckula spun around on Baron Klaus van der Schwartz and saw the vampire the count once used be, even as his stomach growled and the world glowed red. "You think that this is a pu-puppy dog?"

"Ducky?"

Feeling the strain, Duckula turned back to see Emily and Ganderak. "What is it, my dear?" He smiled at her, stepping around Goosewing towards her.
Her fangs were out and she was trembling. "Can I eat him now? I'm starving."
Duckula bowed, "Since you caught him, be my guest." Duckula watched in his red-tinted vision as Emily gracefully inclined her head to bite her hunter.

As he watched all he could think was of what excellent form she had, how pretty she was and how much he wanted to sink his fangs into her lovely neck so he could taste her blood. He licked his beak.

Behind the count, he heard the unmistakeable sound of Towser's savage canine snarl. A vampire's shriek punctuated the air. It wasn't until he heard Goosewing's growl and the second scream that Duckula turned around from watching Emily feast.

Duckula turned back to the baron's party. Three remaining vampires including the baron were wrestling with two werewolves and Claudette had curled up into a frightened ball between them. The count was starving and his fangs tingled for use.

"I'll show you old and decrepit!" Duckula yanked the Baron backwards out of the fight with the werewolves and bit into him. Deliciously evil blood filled his mouth. It reminded him of other wonderful off the battlefield memories like the time he'd snacked his way through Napoleon's unsuspecting ranks. It was glorious.

Full at last, Duckula let go and Klaus Van der Schwartz sank to the floor. If he hadn't been a vampire he'd have been dead by now.

"Y-you bit me. Another vampire, you..." The vampire gazed whitely up at him. "The most feared vampire the world over."
Duckula's vision had at last returned to normal. "There's a reason for my title, you know, it's-."
"Now I have you right where I vant you, you willain!" Claudette fired Goosewing's ray gun at the fallen vampire. With a look of surprise on his face the baron disintegrated.

Claudette dropped the ray gun onto the baron's pile of dust and looked at Duckula. "That was scary. I was terrified."
"I know the feeling." Duckula assured her.

Duckula went and petted Towser on the head. "Aw, who's a good boy then, huh?"

Towser enjoyed the attention and sat up on his hind legs to lick Duckula's face. Then the family pet yawned, stretched and sauntered leisurely off into the depths of the castle with a casual wag of his tail.

Duckula looked back at Emily with a smile. "Emily, my dear, I really must compliment you on your form." Duckula took her hand. "You do it really, very well."

There was dust and more dust. The scene was horrific. Igor surveyed the great hall with a tremor of horror. When he'd taken Towser out of his den the werewolf had bolted and it had been impossible to tell which way the Duckula family's pet had gone. Evidently it'd been to the great hall to chew on ... vampires.

"Milord?" He gasped, hurrying over to where the master stood with Emily facing away from him. "I am so frightfully sorry, milord!"

Claudette, the woman that had arrived with the other vampires, was kneeling on the ground beside the werewolf.

Igor stepped to the edge of the group. "Milord, I do apologise, Towser was ..." Igor blinked, not recognising the fur markings on the werewolf that Claudette was petting. "That's not Towser..."
"No, Igor, That's von Goosewing. I think Towser has taken himself back to bed to sleep off his dinner."
"Milord, those vampires are dust."
"Yes, so I noticed Igor." Duckula shrugged. "But it was filling while it lasted." He licked his beak, recalling the baron's taste.
"He is a wampire wanquisher." Claudette stated, bringing their attention back to her and the werewolf. "Vhat did you expect him to do?"

In response the werewolf lying at Claudette's side twisted his head up and licked her, his tail hitting the ground as it wagged.

"Well, this all just goes to prove," Emily suppressed a yawn as she stepped away from the dust piles, "What you don't believe in will only kill you quicker. That's enough excitement for one night, for me. Goodnight everyone."
"Goodnight, ma'am."
"Goodnight, Miss Artisia." Duckula responded and watched her smile at him before she drifted on up the stairs.

"Nanny!" Duckula called and waited for Nanny to come to his side.

"Yes, milord?" Nanny shortly arrived.
"Could you please fix up a room for Doctor Swansonn and take her to the kitchen so she can get something to eat."
"Very good, milord."
"Thank you."

Duckula turned to Claudette. "There's plenty of juice and vegetables in the fridge so please do help yourself, Doctor. I don't know what you want to do with your life but any vegetarian vampire has a safe welcome at Castle Duckula anytime."
"You are a most gracious host, thank you." She turned to Goosewing on his four padded feet, "Come, Doctor."
"Come along, dear, Nanny will look after you."

Alone together, Duckula turned to Igor, "You've never told me about Napoleon, Igor."
"It must have slipped my mind, milord. It was in the time of your great great grandfather. We spent years wreaking havoc on Napoleon's cause, we even crippled his forces at one glorious point outside of Acre."
"Now that does sound interesting, Igor." The young master licked his beak and leant in closer to Igor. His eyes gleamed with a healthy reddish tint and the tips of his fangs were visible. "Tell me more."

Igor felt his heart soaring.

And so, dear reader, as the denizens of that dark Castle Duckula settle in for a new era in the world of vampire ducks, I bid you farewell. I hope you've had a ghastly time and enjoyed the ghastly results of this ghastly plot!

Goodnight out there, whatever you are!

THE END