As you may or may not have noticed, I have not updated any of my stories (or my profile, for that matter) for over a year.

My free-time is currently being eaten away by school, my job and my artwork.

Most likely, I am going to remove most of the stories that I have put up here. Whether or not I rework them and put them back up is not certain to me at the moment. My writing style has changed drastically and, for the most part, I don't believe my style can mesh effectively with the way I feel the fandom is supposed to be portrayed.

I will still be lurking about so feel free to drop me a note or something. And if you want to check out some of my original fiction head over to my fictionpress account (name: hotarunokurai). If you want to see my artwork, stop in at my deviantArt account (name: hotarunokurai).

I wish everyone good luck in all of their endeavors.

Quotes

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

Dragons love you. You're crunchy and good with ketchup.

Welcome To The Psychiatric Hotline
~If you are an obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly
~If you are a codependent, please have someone press 2 for you
~If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6
~If you are a paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call
~If you are a schizophrenic, listen carefully for a little voice to tell you which number to press
~If you are a manic depressive, it doesn’t matter what number you press, no one will answer.

“STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk that desperately deserves it.”

I could be a bitch...If I were nicer.

Top 12 Things Not to Say to a Cop

~I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
~Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
~Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
~Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
~Are You Andy or Barney?
~I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
~You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
~I pay your salary!
~Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
~Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
~I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
~When the Officer says "Gee Son...Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

"I can see the headline...'College Girl Dies From Pooh!' "~My roommate (TouchstonesRanna)

My inner child plays with matches.

“Damnit, it’s humid for September.”
“Uh…It’s August.”~ An IM between me and my friend...(and let me tell you, he's not the first one...)

"Any one of your orifices could be a potential goldmine!"~Foamy The Squirrel

"Yay! I'm being molested!"~TouchstonesRanna

"These are my new crap pants. Literally, because I got shit on them!"~TouchstonesRanna

"He looks like he has really bad Elf Gas!"~TouchstonesRanna

"Holy Elf Shit, Batman!"~TouchstonesRanna

"Elf Porn!"~TouchstonesRanna (Are you sensing a theme?)

"ELF BONER!"~TouchstonesRanna and Me (Don't ask. You REALLY don't want to know...)

"This is not one of my happy days. It’s an 'I’ll kill you cause you’re there and you’re convenient' day."~TouchstonesRanna (She's got quite a few, doesn't she...)

"Oh! I want to molest that ear!"~TouchstonesRanna (who else?)

"She's Asian. They don't age..."~TouchstonesRanna

"She's just really...Booby..."
"You mean 'well endowed'?"
"Yeah. Booby."~Conversation between TouchstonesRanna and Me. (She's the first one...)

"It doesn't feel like a Thursday. Wait, it is Thursday, right?"
"Yes, you are Thursday."
"Ok...Wait. WHAT?" ~Another conversation between Me and TouchstonesRanna (I'm first this time...)

Practice safe Zechs, use a Gundam

With patience, persistence, and a bit of perseverance, the elephant will fuck the chihuahua.

Procrastionation is like masturbation. It feels good at the time, but in the end, you're just fucking yourself.

Love can't buy happiness. But it can rent it for a while.

"Syblominal Messenages"~TouchstonesRanna (She wanted to say "Subliminal Messages"...But didn't)

"And he's so sexy when he whimpers..."~TouchstonesRanna

I hate you, in that "cut off your head with a toothbrush" kind of way.

"WHAT DOES THE SPOON SAY?"~TouchstonesRanna

"Nara, Japan...I don't think that's a state..."~TouchstonesRanna

"I AM A SANDWICH!"~TouchstonesRanna (Don't. Ask.)

"Give me pointy ears, a blonde wig, and call me Captain Obvious!"~TouchstonesRanna (about everyone's fav bishie elf, Legolas)

"SHUT UP, BRAIN!"~TouchstonesRanna

"I've been learned...Wait..."~TouchstonesRanna (Wonderful grammar, that one...)

"I'm cold..."
"Do you want me to close the window?"
"What window?"~TouchstonesRanna (Who else? By the way, the window in question is the one in our dorm room...-_-;; )

"Who did invent pizza?"
"I dunno..."
"Would you lick their shoes?"~TouchstonesRanna (Whenever her lips move, it's like pure gold spills forth...really...)

"She doesn't know Gaelic, she's a Mormon."~Me! (About my friend Madison who is a Mormon and over IM wrote that she stormed out of the room cursing in Gaelic.)

"I've been bitten by technology so many times I have a scar on my ass."~TouchstonesRanna (I have to find a way to use this!!)

"This cheese is disgusting. It tastes like it died and took the goat with it..."~TouchstonesRanna (NEVER EAT SCHOOL CHEESE!!)

"He has kittens!...And toast!"~TouchstonesRanna (o.O)

"You smell like a pool...Without the little kid urine..."~TouchstonesRanna (sniffing my hair...)

"At what point did you forget that we're trying to take over the world?!"~Cats&Dogs (great movie!)

"Do you just need to be bunny fucked?"~TouchstonesRanna (To Bob, the ghost bunny that haunts our room and fucks around with our electronic devices... . )

A Fight By Any Other Name is also Foreplay

"It's looks like a spider dropped its web on his head and crapped on it."~TouchstonesRanna (describing Norrington's wig from PotC 2 )

"Awwww...It's a threesome."~TouchstonesRanna

"Goodnight, Sarah."
"GOOD BYE!" ~Me and TouchstonesRanna (we were arguing about something...)

"In the words of whoever it was..."~TouchstonesRanna

"My uterus hurts..."~Me

"You've never experienced Auntie Anne's pretzels?!"
"I'm saving myself for my wedding night?"~Me and TouchstonesRanna (SHE'S NEVER HAD AUNTIE ANNE'S!!)

"Thanks for playing. You just died!"~TouchstonesRanna (I guessed wrong, I take it...)

"You're as graceful as...a graceful thing."~TouchstonesRanna

"Is this underwear? And if it is, whose is it? Cause they're not mine..."~TouchstonesRanna

"Why do they always draw him wearing a shirt? I mean, skirt!!"~Me...

"I'm sure my parents would be okay with letting you stay but you'd have to stay in the guest room...The bad part is that it's next to my brother's room"
"As long as he doesn't do anything unmentionable, it should be fine"
"He's fourteen. Turning fifteen."
"Fine. As long as he isn't too loud about doing it..."~ Me and TouchstonesRanna discussing her coming home with me for break...

"I hate the smell of citrus. It smells like someone farted a grapefruit."~TouchstonesRanna

"This nugget is suggestive..."~TouchstonesRanna

"Stop being such a hypocrat..."~TouchstonesRanna

"Elvish magical underwear!"~TouchstonesRanna

"I heard a plop and it sounded like water. Was it your grandmother?"~TouchstonesRanna (We were sitting in our dorm room...no water--or grandmother--to be found...)

"I hate gravity. Especially when it gets in my cocoa."~TouchstonesRanna ( I love this girl!! She's hilarious!!)

"Wait, wait...What was with the penguins?" "They're nuns..."~TouchstonesRanna and I (she's first...)

"Dildo is such a happy word! I mean, try and say it in a mean tone of voice. You can't! You can't say dildo without smiling."~ME! (DILDO)

"I just poked myself in the eye. That was cute!"~TouchstonesRanna

"It's like an orgasm on a bun...Which is completely different from an orgasm between two buns...:lecherous wink:" ~Me (And if you can't figure that one out, read some Yaoi...)

"I'm not naked! I just haven't put on clothes yet!"

"Is it wrong that I'm fascinated by the wonderful powers of your bra?" ~TouchstonesRanna

"That boy can do the most amazing things to a lollipop." ~TouchstonesRanna

"Sometimes it's nice. And sometimes it's porn with pretty colors." ~TouchstonesRanna

"The sound of pee makes me need to water..."

"Nipples are usually perky. Especially so when exposed to wind or someone's mouth."

"We're trying to figure out if they actually got together or just did the 'Batman and Robin' thing..."~TouchstonesRanna

"He's the guy breaking all the girls' hearts because he wants to break the boys' hearts instead."~TouchstonesRanna

"You fill balloons up with jelly beans. You have balls with their little soldiers."

"Oh! Blowing someone while you have chocolate in your mouth...That'd be interesting!"

"That isn't a horoscope. It's an after school special!!" ~TouchstonesRanna

"Geology, Geometry, Geography...What's the point? They all start with J." "I know something else that starts with J...J-Idiot." ~Cosmo and Wanda from Fairly OddParents.

“I don’t have an M&M in me…”

“No, you have a whole bag.” ~ Me and my mom (I’m the first one!! ’’)

"Did something fall or was that a fart?" ~ TouchstonesRanna (She's baaaaaaaaaaack)

"Honky Tonk Badonka Bonk?" ~ TouchstonesRanna (For those who don't know, it's Badonka Donk. XD )

If you want to make out with poprocks in your mouth, put this in your profile!