Hey People!

I just got back from my 5 week vaca in florida and now i have less then 3 weeks till school starts!! CRAP!

ABOUT ME!

Age: 17

Im tall and blonde. and i get hit on a lot by creepy middle aged men. haha lots of funny stories.

I LOOOOOOVE to gossip, cause im just so insainly good at it. its all about knowing when to keep a secret and knowing when to tell whoever u feel like telling. lol im the inside sourse for anyone in need of a good story.

I also HATE LIARS! not the harmless kind, like updating, but lying to your friends about the stupidest things. Which is why fatass kristyn is no longer my friend! it gets stupid when she lies about a 19-yr old brother in Iraq and being pregnant and going out with her cousin...can ya see why i m no longer friends with her?

Fav T.V shows:Wildfire, Hells Kitchen(i love gordon ramsey he is hilarious!), Gossip Girl, New Amsterdam which they TOTALLY CANCELLED!! whis totally PISSES me off cause that show was AMAZING!!

favorite movies? 27 dresses, juno, POTC, how to lose a guy in 10 days, legally blonde...and soon to be TWILIGHT!!

fav books: TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, AND ECLIPSE!!AND SOON TO BE BREAKING DAWN!! gossip girl, Blind Beauty (it was sooo sweet), the it girl, the clique books(cause their just hilariously stupid), i think Tantalize could have been good if it was more detailed, Shadow Horse... idk

MY Stories:

Rollar Coaster of Jealousy: After Carter comes back from Congo, Abby is crushed. After moving in with him by the forses of her friends and previous events, she begins to fall in love with him again. What happens when his girlfriend, Kem, shows up. TRust me, the title becomes clear in later chapters. carby ON HIATUS

Anger: Abby gets angry at Carter, falls from a building and is killed. Twisted ending. carby COMPLETE!! and it toally sucks

Lifes Up's and Down's HeartlandAmy’s family is one of the most recognized in the U.S because of Marion Fleming’s show-jumping success, and the wealth that comes from it. What happens when Amy’s world is turned upside down and is forced to leave her home and horses by her newly drug addicted dad? may be tyamy

When Eyes Wander: Phantom Stallion- Heartland crossover. Amy and Ty go to visit Amy's friend, Sam, who she met in San Francisco. Sam can't wait to see her and to introduce Jake. But what happens when eyes begin to wander?? not a love triangle, but a love SQUARE!!

Bittersweet: Phantom Stallion My take of what should have happened in "The Wildest Heart" ONESHOT COMPLETE!

Aftermath: Phantom Stallion: Sequal to Bittersweet!

Now Playing: Everything! my new songfic series

Current Stories

1) Don't Matter : Twilight which i probably wont finish

Mending Friendship:Heartland-Wildfire crossover. Wildfire is scared to run after a fall during a race, and loses his trust in Kris. Can Amy and Ty gain Wildfire's trust, and fix their broken friendship? Amy/TY Kris/Junior

The High School Life: Heartland- My life in high school This includes alot of random drama. rated T for later racism that is ONLY joking around, and languedge. MOVED TO FICTIONPRESS!! go look for it there, still under the name iluvcarby101

SAKE challenge: new contest!! woohoo lol basically, write a Sake story for VAlentines day thats not OOC/out of character. SEe post for more rules CLOSED!

Rollar Coaster: Phantom Stallion- Sam and Jen both like Darrel. What hapens when Darrel starts going out with Rachel? co-written w/kitkatkittens(its under her penname)

A Simple Twist of Fate: Heartland- What if Ty never woke up from his coma, and Amy left for college, desperate to get away from it all? What if she doubted her desision to come? after she's already there? What event will make her decide, one way or the other?

The New Girl: Twilight- Edward never went back for Bella. What happens 20 years later, when he finds someone new, Kelsey? Why is she so tempting? but an even greater question, who is her mysterious mother? COMPLETE!!

Unanswered Questions and Difficult Decisions: -Twilight-Sequal to The New Girl. Edward is in a small dilema: Kelsey's Mom. can he risk getting back with her, without ruining the secret they have been kepping for centuries. If he messes up, the Vultuori(sp?) will come and kill them all.

Edward and Bella go to Bristol!: Twilight: Bella and Edward go to a NASCAR race in Bristol! just a fun little one shot. COMPLETE

Messing with her Mind: Twilight: The Cullens play with Theresa EArnhardts mind to give Bella what she wants. SEQUAL TO EDWARD AN BELLA GO TO BRISTOL! COMPLETE

Favorite Sports:

i loooove 2 watch football, since im from chicago i luv the bears!!

i used to play soccer, but im done with that. I GOT TO SEE BECKHAM PLAY ONCE!! IT WAS AMAZING!!

i loooooooove baseball: GO CUBS!!

nascar: i absoulutly love all the crashing... go Dale Jr!! Just went 2 the bristol race!!

And now for some funny things that i feel like putting in here

"Don't Drink and Drive...you might hit a bump and spill your drink"

This is from Aeropostale-girl

Prison vs. Work

IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.

AT WORK...you spend most of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day (free).

AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it yourself.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.

AT WORK...you get rewarded for good behavior with more WORK.

IN PRISON...a guard locks and unlocks the doors for you.

AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and unlock open all the doors yourself.

IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games.

AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.

AT WORK...you have to share.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.

AT WORK...you can not even speak to your family and friends.

IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all.

AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life looking through the bars from the inside wanting to get out.

AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting= I've got my period

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me= I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me= I did something today you're really not going to like

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat= Tell me I'm beautiful

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me= Too late, you're dead.

Yes = No

No = No

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

Do you like this recipe= It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it

Was that the baby?= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep

I'm not yelling= Yes I am yelling because I think this is important

All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

THE ANSWER TO "WHAT'S WRONG?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Everything = My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a pain the butt

I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam

FOR CHICAGO...

Forget Rednecks ...here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about .Chicago

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Chicago
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Chicago
If you've worn shorts and a parka at t he same time, you live in Chicago.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Chicago
If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of I - 80 for the weekend, you live in Chicago.
If you measure distance in hours, you live in Chicago.
If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you live in Chicago
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard wi thout flinching, you live in Chicago.
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Chicago.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Chicago.
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in Chicago.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Chicago.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Chicago.
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in Chicago
If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you live in Chicago .
If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your friends & others, you live in Chicago .

AND SOME BLONDE JOKES...

A Blonde's Year in Review.

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels...
Helllloooo!!...bottles won't fit in printer !!

March - Got really excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...
box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours ... power went out!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid...wrong instructions...8 cups of
water won't fit into those little packets!!

June - Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later,
the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!

August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm...
car swamped because soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is "C"...isn't it??

October - Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour
per pound and I weigh 108!!

December - Couldn't call 911 ... "duh"...there's no "eleven" button
on the stupid phone!!

EXPOSURE

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right
breast hanging out.
A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could
cite you for indecent exposure?"

She says, "Why, officer?"

"Because your breast is hanging out." He says.

She looks down and says, "OH MY G, I left the baby on the bus again!"

THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond
female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut &stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, again went to the mail box and again,

marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

AND NOW SOMETHING COMPLETLY RANDOM...

Why, Why?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE ...The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 WHEN...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that

they
don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone
is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7 Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the
screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the
first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and
you
turn around to go and get it.

10 You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
: )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this
message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on
this
list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to!

Feel free to copy and paste these onto your page... let me know if u use them!

And FYI: my computer is stupid and sometimes gives me that "wait 30 sec before posting another review", when it's 20 minutes later. Sooooo I'm sorry if i don't review your stories! blame my computer. And now, for some unknown reason, it says i already review it!! im sry if i dont review your story, but i probly read it