Inconsequentialhide bio
Author has written 14 stories for Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter. Inconsequential is a lovely word, isn't it? Overtones of identity's Humean discontinuity, the fruitlessness of free will, etc. Particularly suited to fanfiction, wherein we operate quite firmly within another's paradigm. Nonetheless, I am back from an extended leave. Some of my stories are quite bad, but that's all right; it's humbling. Some are good. I can't say which. |
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
Odd Ideas by Rorschach's Blot reviews
Odd little one shots that may or may not be turned into their own stories.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 185 - Words: 803,427 - Reviews: 12184 - Favs: 5,722 - Follows: 4,701 - Updated: 12/19/2019 - Published: 9/4/2005
Will you? by BlueSphinx reviews
Ron lost a ring, Harry his love, Bill his nerve, Albus his life, Alastor his heart, and Dolores probably her mind. But a proposal is a proposal, even if something is lost. CHAPTER 20: Victoire and Ted
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 24,440 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 9/14/2011 - Published: 12/2/2006 - Complete
Those Who Lived by fire and napalm reviews
AU. The war ended anticlimatically. Voldemort just vanished. The boys of prophecy are alive, both unmarked, best friends, attending Hogwarts with someone unknown ... someone who seems to complete the prophecy, but who needs them too. Harry-centric.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 62 - Words: 457,545 - Reviews: 241 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 1/13/2011 - Published: 5/3/2007 - Harry P., Neville L. - Complete
Albus Dumbledore and the Wizard's Ruse by Grandson of Dumbledore reviews
Albus Dumbledore has survived two thrilling years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and now he enters his third year. Can he overcome the loss suffered in his second year, and lift himself for new challenges, including Quidditch? We'll see...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 20 - Words: 78,860 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 10/12/2010 - Published: 1/22/2007 - Albus D., Aberforth D. - Complete
Hogwarts Chat Rooms by siriuslives394 reviews
Hogwarts gets a budget raise. Because of this, they decide to modernize! A bunch of teen students and teachers, each with their own Internet connection. Not a pretty picture. The story says complete, but it doesn't end till I run out of ideas.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 15,289 - Reviews: 235 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 10/19/2008 - Published: 7/22/2007 - Complete
The Diggory Papers by Machiavelli Jr reviews
Cedric Diggory tells the story of his last year at Hogwarts, the Triwizard Tournament and an unlikely survival. Because Cedric Diggory did not die in Little Hangleton. Nor was he anyone's hero. Coward, lecher and cheat, but never hero. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 54,578 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 7/29/2008 - Published: 3/16/2006 - Cedric D. - Complete
The Father Files by powergirll reviews
An indepth observation about the relationship between Lucius and Draco Malfoy. Documentation, recordings and scene captures begin from birth and progress based on year. Warning: No slash, no incest, and lots of Malfoy snark
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,089 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 6/15/2008 - Published: 8/4/2007 - Lucius M., Narcissa M.
Voldemort Can't Stop the Love by la raconteur reviews
The ever so dashing Leopold Ackerley has never been unlucky when it comes to finding a desirable witch. And then the Ministry decided to step in and Harry Potter was forced into his life.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 38,464 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 12/21/2007 - Published: 9/10/2007 - Harry P., OC - Complete
The Society for the Admiration of Harry Potter by Padfoot Reincarnated reviews
Draco is innocently wandering the corridors when he stumbles on a meeting of an underground Harry Potter fan club, and recruited into it against his will. However, he soon realizes he doesn't mind some aspects of the club...such as spying on Potter. HPDM
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 44,828 - Reviews: 316 - Favs: 463 - Follows: 169 - Updated: 10/5/2007 - Published: 7/14/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Fugitives of Azkaban by BajaB reviews
A 'Harry goes to Azkaban' story. Convicted for releasing the Basilisk from the Chamber of Secrets, Harry is put into a cell next to the most feared wizard in the world, Sirius Black. AU 3rd year, canon pairings, no Deathly Hallows.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 65,347 - Reviews: 1189 - Favs: 3,840 - Follows: 1,679 - Updated: 9/11/2007 - Published: 6/15/2007 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
The Beginnings of a Beautiful Friendship by Born-Of-Elven-Blood reviews
AKA: Harry Potter's Personal Hell. The two could not have been more different, yet they could not have had more in common. We both know you're gonna read it, so stop torturing yourself.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 291 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/13/2007 - Severus S., Vernon D. - Complete
Twelve Fail Safe Ways to Charm Witches by Essence of Dittany reviews
The title says it all. DH SPOILERS! Full summary inside. Pairings: HG, RHr, and others.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,742 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 30 - Published: 8/7/2007 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Violet’s Apparel and Accessories by FinalCow reviews
Voldemort knows it's great being the Dark Lord. But not even the most malevolent maniac can stand when the forces of fashion conspiring against him! Meet Violet, most enterprising fashionista serving Dark lords and ladies throughout the ages.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 23,371 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 6/24/2007 - Published: 4/1/2007 - Severus S., Draco M. - Complete
TARGET: JOHNNY DEPP by ThisWasItThisIsDone reviews
OMG, is that Jack Sparrow trying to kill johnny Depp? I think it is... OMG, is that Jack Sparrow NAKED? No... its just a bird....But, seriously, the story's about Jack trying t'kill Johnny... enjoy! LAST CHAPTER IS UP!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 24 - Words: 35,986 - Reviews: 456 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 6/24/2007 - Published: 1/2/2007 - Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
Life as a Weasley by arthursmolly reviews
Molly has just found out she's pregnant with her and Arthur's seventh child. Follows through the books, will stay canon through book six, then throwing in my own ideas.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 60 - Words: 126,309 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 6/19/2007 - Published: 5/17/2005 - Molly W., Arthur W.
Harry Potter and the Slippery Secret by C.T.Thomas reviews
Harry returns to Hogwarts for a second year of really REALLY flamboyantly gay adverntures Continues from where Harry Potter and the Pretty Sorcerer's Balls left off. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 127,949 - Reviews: 523 - Favs: 1,106 - Follows: 385 - Updated: 3/27/2007 - Published: 8/2/2003 - Harry P. - Complete
The Curse of the Piratical Parody by Lily Evanstar reviews
Parody of Pirates of the the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. 'Nuff said.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 16 - Words: 16,022 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 3/21/2007 - Published: 7/24/2006 - Complete
St Wossname's Fire by SpamWarrior reviews
The Auditors have resurrected Mister Teatime and given him a mission: kill Life and end existence. Features just about everyone who's ever been in a Discworld book for more than two pages. PHEER, I tell you.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 44,789 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 2/3/2007 - Published: 3/10/2005
So Sue Me by lunakatrina reviews
My take on Harry's first year starting with him getting his letters. Add a lot of sarcasm, stir, and serve cold.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 44,383 - Reviews: 2397 - Favs: 4,696 - Follows: 3,965 - Updated: 1/5/2007 - Published: 6/23/2006 - Harry P.
Time to Prepare by Potterphile78 reviews
AU 6thyear story. Harry finds some interesting texts that help him prepare to fulfil his destiny.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 42,468 - Reviews: 462 - Favs: 615 - Follows: 698 - Updated: 9/20/2006 - Published: 8/30/2005 - Harry P.
The Owl Chronicles by white mouse reviews
Severus, Minerva, Sybill and cringe Lockhart take the 3rd year students on a Muggle Studies field trip. Of course it's complete anarchy.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,950 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 23 - Published: 1/24/2006 - Severus S. - Complete
Afterlife? No: Aftershock! by Lady Whight reviews
What if Boromir wasn't granted a peaceful afterlife? What if the powers that be decided he had to learn kindness and get rid of some of his pride first? Not anti-Boromir
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 16,598 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/1/2005 - Published: 1/30/2003 - Boromir
The Unconventional Tale of Aragorn and Arwen by Laziness Incarnate reviews
And they lived happily ever after, except when husband-abuse occurs. CHAPTER 12 UPLOADED! Good lordy, it's a miracle. [On-going]
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,509 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/28/2004 - Published: 2/16/2002
Love and smoochies, Return to Sender, and more by incurelf reviews
A collection of letters written by various people in ME. Aragorn & Arwen, Gimli & Gloin, etc. Chapter 14 is up...presenting the DISFUNCTIONAL FAMILY OF GONDOR...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 14,444 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/21/2004 - Published: 2/21/2003
Mission Alive by Bulma Greenleaf reviews
What if Boromir's spirit lived on after he died? What if Boromir's spirit wanted to live again, and needed a body to live in because his friends threw his body of a giant waterfall? Enjoy! RR please! And FINALLY! A brand new chapter is up! Chapter 8!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,176 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/5/2003 - Published: 2/17/2003 - Boromir
The Fourth of the Rings by Incitata reviews
Join us in a (mostly) harmless jibe at Ms. Mary Sue: One Cliche to fool them all, and we will all despise them."
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,424 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 7 - Updated: 9/28/2003 - Published: 2/24/2003
The Crystal Ball that Ron Really Hated by vanilla-chk reviews
Bill gives Ron a crystal ball for his birthday that sees the present instead of the future. Ginny steals it and see Harry showering, amongst other things. May turn into parody or soap-opera, I'm not sure yet. READ, REVIEW! You know you're just aching to!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 33,004 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/22/2003 - Published: 2/22/2003
Sands of Time by Ariana Deralte reviews
Harry has always trusted Dumbledore, but does Dumbledore truly deserve that trust? Strange things are happening at Hogwarts well, stranger than normal… and Harry has no one to turn to with his suspicions except Snape! Complete
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 17 - Words: 32,432 - Reviews: 344 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 7/8/2003 - Published: 6/9/2002 - Albus D., Severus S. - Complete
White Angel by Cerasi2 reviews
Aragorn and Eowyn are married. They share a life of love, happiness, surprises, and pain. **Sequel to Arin Elen** E/A *Chapter 10 finally up!*
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 21,650 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/19/2003 - Published: 1/24/2003 - Eowyn, Aragorn
Harry Potter and the Lord of the Rings by papermachine reviews
HIATUS. Harry Potter and LotR crossover. Harry, Ron and Hermione end up in Middleearth. They exprience a major culture shock.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,455 - Reviews: 260 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 5/13/2003 - Published: 11/21/2002
The Mushroom: Middle Earth's Finest News Source by Marauder reviews
The Middle-earth version of The Onion...somewhat OOC, PWP, slashy. Complete. My personl favorite headline: Completely Unrelated Hobbits Wed
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 7,990 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 4/14/2003 - Published: 2/17/2003 - Complete
Degrees Of Separation by French Pony reviews
The Fellowship is kidnapped by the only people really up to the job. An A of several related U's.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,647 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 9 - Updated: 3/22/2003 - Published: 3/11/2003 - Aragorn, Gandalf - Complete
The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn by Lamina Court reviews
PreOotP LilyJames in 6th year. Humour, love, anger, saddness, laughter, Quidditch, Hogsmeade, death, more laughter... Give it a try, won't you?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 140,096 - Reviews: 887 - Favs: 349 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 3/8/2003 - Published: 10/13/2002 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Tolkien Imitation by starry-kittenpaws667 reviews
A highly funny imitation of Tolkien. If you read the intro first you'll understand the story much better. Enjoy! I find it reallly REALLY funny
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,032 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 3/7/2003 - Published: 3/6/2003
Quotations over despair by riposte reviews
Katie have eaten a twins-tampered cherry that'll make her talk in quotes for a whole week. K/P!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,381 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/26/2003 - Published: 2/22/2003 - Percy W.
Mr Sauron Guy by Frodo Liv3s reviews
Parody of American Pie. "Mr. Sauron Guy!" Please read and review.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 985 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/25/2003 - Published: 1/29/2003
Mushroom lollys and hair do not go well together! by Niko1 reviews
Mel signs up as a daycare worker, but ends up with some pretty unusual kids! That is, some unusual hobbits, humans, an elf and a dwarf! ..That's right, this is a "LOTR Kindergarten" fic! and lemme tell you, those kids may look cute, but they are BRATS! RE
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,083 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 6 - Updated: 2/24/2003 - Published: 10/17/2002
Harry Potter the Condensed Musical by Tree Climber reviews
A musical parody of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. We actually performed this at our talent show.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,535 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/22/2003 - Published: 12/9/2002
They Came, They Saw, and They Drank a Heckuva Lot by Laziness Incarnate reviews
Remus and Sirius say hello and have a slightly bizarre chat after the end of PoA. Then they get drunk, if not roaringly so. Basically a buddy fic. [One-shot]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,277 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 14 - Published: 9/1/2002 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
To my Dear Friend, Mr Bilbo Baggins by The 41st Maguanac reviews
A 'What if?' story concerning what happened when Gandalf left the party in The Hobbit. What if Bilbo had written to Gandalf and asked to be told of what had happened with the Necromancer?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,138 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/7/2002 - Gandalf, Bilbo B.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
Mistaken Identities reviews
Short drabbles on the myriad ways being a metamorphmagus can seriously trouble one's husband or thrill one's cousin... and the ways Polyjuice and invisibility cloaks can complicate life...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,289 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 8/28/2007 - Published: 8/11/2007 - N. Tonks, Remus L.
The Secret Lives of Squibs reviews
...one Squib, to be exact. Argus Filch, dissatisfied with his appearance and himself, decides to live his dream working in a Polyjuice brothel. In a place where you never know the true identity of your client, who knows who you might wake up next to?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,526 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/14/2007 - Argus F.
Albus's Alchemical Adventure reviews
Young Dumbledore avoids Divination. Involves charmed goats, Nicholas Flamel's camera, a Jewish wizarding school, an alluring Hufflepuff, and a number of 19th century Muggle philosophers and literary theorists. Now slightly AU lighter and happier than DH.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,441 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 8/11/2007 - Published: 3/7/2007 - Albus D.
The Coping Skills of Tonks reviews
Subtle Deathly Hallows spoilers As Tonks waits for Lupin's return, she ponders such things as the STDlike nature of lycanthropy, the similarities between Greyback and Michael Jackson, and neon orange fetuses. Strong T rating for mature themes.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 863 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/10/2007 - N. Tonks, Remus L. - Complete
That Gryffindor Intelligence reviews
Oneshot. A response to the immensely convoluted plot of the final book, which gives Harry very little opportunity to demonstrate... that Gryffindor intelligence. Watch, and be amazed.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 358 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/3/2007 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Elf in a Cage reviews
An Elf fighting in the Last Alliance is transported to a strange place, for some things which never should have come to pass have occurred, and things which should have been remembered have been forgotten...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Spiritual - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,896 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/29/2003 - Published: 3/16/2003
The Passage of Heroes reviews
What does it really mean to be a hero?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,900 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/22/2003 - Published: 4/12/2003
The Ent reviews
The most unlikely creature imaginable, a Hobbit? We think not! In our humble opinion, the least likely creature would be... well, can't you tell by the title? Despite the humorous premise and summary, this is not predominantly a humor story. I tried t
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 579 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 4/6/2003
Mary Sue Parody Parody reviews
This began as a parody of... well, the title pretty much explains it. But now it appears to have morphed into a dumping-ground for all my Mary Sue parodies. Enjoy! *New Story Up, in Chapter 3*
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,003 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/25/2003 - Published: 3/13/2003
A Fly on the Wall reviews
A tale of the inner workings of a neglected player in Tolkien's history. Who is Gollum and where did he really come from? *COMPLETE*
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,758 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 3/24/2003 - Published: 3/23/2003 - Gollum - Complete
The Fall of Osgiliath reviews
My first Tolkien fic. For this reason I'm keeping it, though it stinks. Review if you're feeling sadistic or genuinely like my style. Not a self-insert or a Mary Sue, by the way, if that helps.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,945 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 3/15/2003 - Published: 2/22/2003
There and Back Again: the Screenplay reviews
Bilbo Baggins tells his adventures to the world... with a little help from Peter Jackson and the cast of the Lord of the Rings movies.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,772 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/15/2003 - Published: 2/24/2003 - Bilbo B.
Elves Through a Cage reviews
Just a small story on immortality...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 472 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/6/2003
My Trip to Middle Earth 9,000,000 reviews
Hey, everyone's doing it-here's my own story of the time I spent in Arda.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,855 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/5/2003 - Bilbo B.
