Hello I'm NincompoopConer... Good Mythical Morning... Let's talk about that!

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

STEREOTYPES HURT

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run bitch run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you absolutely are TERRIFIED of spiders, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pulled on a door that said push, or vise versa, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows, copy and paste this to your profile.

Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this to your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile XD

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Azmanig huh?

If you've ever asked a stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

Why America has some Issues (Yes I live there, but tough. These are clever)

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

Axis Powers

Italy: *Jumps slightly at the mention of your name* W-What?! What about her?! I didn't do it, I swear! I was just making pasta, I didn't do anything to deserve the-! (-Me: Italy! Relax!) W-Well what do you want? (-Me: I was just gonna ask what you thought about her, but I think I get the idea...) ...She scares me...
Germany: Mary is...a difficult country to understand. Her motives are unclear, and unfortunately, there's no way that she'll just tell us what she's planning. She may be much more dangerous than we think, but I suppose only time will tell.
Japan: Mary is a quiet and docile country until she is angered. Then, she lashes out on anyone nearby. I don't think she means to, but she does not try to stop herself, either.

Allied Forces

America: Mary is... Well, I hate to say it, but dude, she's way too scary sometimes. Sure, she has her moments, and she's nice to little kids and animals, but it seems like she hates all people or something if one of us makes her mad or implies that she isn't as strong as us. She once smashed a teacup over France's head because he said that she was harmless and cute.
England: That country needs to learn some discipline. Honestly, she can't just go about abusing others whenever she doesn't agree with them! (-Me: Hypocrite.) What?! I beg your pardon! (-Me: You choked America last month, remember?) ...Oh, nevermind... But for some reason, China maintains a close bond with ,Mary, and no one has the slightest idea why.
France: *eyes bulge* Usually I find power very becoming in a woman, but Mary is too much to handle! ...Not to say that I'll give up any time soon, ohonhonhon!
Russia: Other countries fear Mary, and they should, because she could conquer or destroy them all if she wanted to. _ I do get to see her sweeter side when she comes over to visit. She knows that I acknowledge her as a powerful country, so she doesn't behave so violently when she drops by. For whatever reason, Mary is kind to Lithuania and Estonia. She hit Latvia for calling her a freak, it was quite funny. But I suspect that Lithuania may need to be reminded that Mary is best suited for me, and that we will soon become one. He seems too fond of her. I may need to see him in a bit. _ *deadly aura* (-Me: O.o)
China: Mary! I remember when I first met her, aru. She was a new country, small and very cute, and she was surrounded by small animals. I thought she might be lost, so I walked over to introduce myself. *Laughs a little* She gave me such a deadly glare, I thought she might kill me, aru! But she was just being cautious, and we talked for a few hours. She was actually very sweet around her animals, and still nice when she visited my house, which she started to make a habit out of. As time passed, she always remembered to stop by and visit me when she had time. We've been inseparable ever since, despite everyone else believing that she's nothing but a danger and a threat.
Canada: I don't think she likes me very much... The last time I talked to her, she looked at me and said, "You could be a strong and powerful country if you just spoke your mind and made yourself known." I-I don't know if she was giving me advice or insulting me... Well, she did smile...a little...
Austria: Mary is a country I'd prefer to avoid. She has a certain air about her that screams potential danger.
Spain: Mary is a very misunderstood country. Yes, she tends to react violently when she's upset, but I managed to convince her to visit me once, and it turns out that she's a hard worker and has the sweetest smile! Well, she only smiled a few times, but still. Romano was here when she visited. I think he might have a thing for her!
Romano: *Looks away* What do you want? (-Me: Geez, I just asked what you think of her.) Well, Mary is great. She knows how to defend herself, how to keep idiot countries from even trying to take over her, how to make sure everyone knows she could kick their asses if she wanted to... She's one of the few countries I respect, especially since she talks to me sometimes. (-Me: So... You like her?) H-How in the HELL did you figure that out?! Was it Spain?! The BASTARD! *turns red out of anger and embarrassment*
Hungary: Mary? I don't know her very well, she mostly keeps to herself whenever I see her. She does seem to be kind towards children. She also gives death glares to France and Prussia, so I suppose she can't be all bad.
Lithuania:I love it when Mary comes over to visit. She comes over and becomes such a different person. I used to think she was just like Russia, but she can actually be a sweet country. She reminds me a bit of Belarus, but when I speak to her, she doesn't break my fingers or anything, and she actually smiles. If only Russia wasn't interested in her as well...I could easily forget about Belarus if I could have Mary.
Estonia: Mary is a brilliant country. She makes sure the others fear her enough to let her alone, and drops by whenever she begins to feel lonely. She gets along well with Russia, Lithuania and I. Latvia...is too blunt for her taste.
Latvia: Ugh, Mary is mean to me when she visits. Sure, she's nice to Russia and Lithuania, and she gets into deep discussions with Estonia, but I call her a freak once and she hates me!
Prussia: Mary, the awesomely frightening country! I don't really have much of an opinion about her, but any country that small that can keep so many potential enemies at bay HAS to be somewhat awesome. I don't like that she spends so much time with that Russia, though.
Belarus: (-Me: Um... I wasn't really expecting to see you, but oh well.) ...If she steals Russia away from me, I'll make sure she disappears forever and that she is wiped away from history permanently. (-Me: And if she gets Lithuania out of your way?) ...I hadn't thought about that...If she chooses Lithuania, then he leaves me be and he is no longer Russia's favorite... Or Russia kills him for taking Mary... Either way, Lithuania would no longer be a problem... Alright, she will remain. For now. (-Me: O.O ...Ok.)

Single

Taken

One with Russia*

I want to marry a sexy Russian who wears a scarf all day!