I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser the Third. Don't hesitate to call. Haha sorry couldn't resist but your not getting my real name. My fav color is Green. My favorite food is a tie between apples and Pizza. And no my love for apples is not me emulating Ryuk from Death Note. I've loved apples as long as I can remember.

Okay to put it simply most of the stories I will post will just be some shit I do in my free time when I'm bored. I'll probably add more to my profile later but right now I don't care.

I do NOT like yaoi. I can deal if it only has yaoi as a minor element though (basically I don't mind a gay relationship if it's a side character and there are no sex scenes for it.) Like almost all males I do not mind yuri. At all. You could send me a link to some yuri stories if you like...for research purposes of course...

Favorite Characters: Alex Mercer (First Prototype game), Dante (Devil May Cry, not the reboot version though...), Alucard (Hellsing), Gray Fox (Metal Gear series), Dovahkiin a.k.a Dragonborn (Skyrim, I know it leaves everything about the character up to the players imagination but that's what makes him/her awesome), Link (Legend of Zelda, he will forever be the definition of Hero to me. I literally grew up playing Zelda games), Wednesday Addams (The Addams Family of course. Movie version btw, but the other versions are awesome too), Gomez Addams (Same as the previous, His antics always makes me laugh), Rogue/Anna Marie (X-men...pretty much every version actually), Gambit (X-men), Deadpool (Jack, Merc with a Mouth, Merc, Wade T. Wilson; formerly Swordsman, Chiyonosake ("the Wolf of the Rice Wine"), Chatterbox, Rhodes, Corpus, Hobgoblin, Tom Cruise, Peter Parker, Jean Grey, Denny, Wildcard, Talkingman, Evil Evil Man, and many other aliases), Drizzt Do'Urden (Loved the books, the first 3 trilogies at least), Richard (from the webcomic Looking For Group, which I highly recommend if you want a good laugh), Recently got into Persona so I might add several characters from that series once I catch up.

Weird Stuff:

For some reason I don't like the Gambit/Rogue pairing. I honestly have no clue why I don't like it. I think Gambit and Rogue are awesome characters. As for why this is under Weird Stuff...I think they would make a good couple...but I still don't like the pairing for no apparent reason that I can figure out. I guess I've just never read something that did the pairing right.

I absolutely loath when people use the soulmate concept in their stories, it's been done to fucking death, I've seen it show up so many GODDAMN times in fanfic's that it might actually become a trigger for me flying off the handle into a psychotic rage.

Favorite Naruto Pairings:

Naruto/Hinata - I know it's overused but I'm referring to the few really good ones out there. There are good ones out there you cynical bastard (lol)

Naruto/Anko - Anko is awesome. I only like the pairing if they keep Anko's bloodthirsty personality.

Naruto/Tayuya - Especially if Tayuya keeps her dirty mouth...I hate it when writers take away her cursing.

Favorite Harry Potter pairings:

Harry/Luna - Definitely love this pairing as long as Luna stays Loony. I hate it when writers make her wackiness a act in stories.

Harry/Wednesday Addams - I always enjoy stories with this pairing. It's great fun.

Harry/Tonks - Tonks is awesome 'nough said. It annoys me when they change her age. The issue of her being 6 years older (she is six years older right?) makes for a nice amount of drama over that fact...as long as someone doesn't go overboard with the drama lol.

Harry/Fleur - The dynamics between the two can get quite entertaining if written decently.

Other Fav. Pairings:

John-117/Cortana - I like this pairing because even without them being able to actually do any of the physical aspects of a relationship, they have great chemistry on top of them both having a huge amount of trust and loyalty in each other. The lack of physical aspects would probably be a good thing because I remember something about Spartans having a suppressed sex drive (I could be mistaken though).

Ico/Yorda - Again they show a large amount of trust and loyalty to each other even though they can't understand anything the other says due to the language barrier.

Gomez/Morticia - How can someone not love those two?

I only like harem stuff if it actually exists in the canon of the setting. Otherwise, I feel like it violates the personalities of the characters too much.

Pairings I hate:

Naruto/Sakura - I just hate Sakura. Even after the time skip. I've read manga and watched anime for years now...the love interest that's a bitch and beats the shit out of the main character (Love Hina, Ranma 1/2, FMA (to a lesser degree), Full Metal Panic, etc) is frankly fucking stupid. At first I liked the comical element to it but it got old fast.

Harry/Ginny - I can like this pairing if it's done very well, but overall I hate this pairing mainly because of canon...the way JKR handled the pairing made me think that Ginny used some type of love potion on Harry.

Harry/Hermione - Now this one I don't necessarily hate. I never really liked Hermione's character in the book, I didn't hate her, she just annoyed me. The blind faith in authority, granted she got better about it later, just rubbed me the wrong way. I just couldn't bring myself to like her. I have read several fics with her paired with Harry, if it's a good story I don't mind it too much.

Rogue/Scott - Rogue's probably my favorite X-men character, and I hate Scott. That why I hate the pairing lol.

Yaoi - I'm a straight guy so I can't really read slash stories without feeling disgusted. I don't mind gay relationships in a story as long as they are side characters and I don't have to read about them fucking. You will never see Yaoi in my stories

Favorite Quotes:

"I was born on a battlefield. Raised on a battlefield. Gunfire, sirens and screams... they were my lullabies..." - Sniper Wolf

"Snake. We're not tools of the government, or anyone else. Fighting was the only thing... the only thing I was good at. But... at least I always fought for what I believed in." - Gray Fox

"Unfortunately, killing is just one of those things that gets easier the more you do it." - Solid Snake

"It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield." - Solid Snake

"You mustn't allow yourself to be chained to fate, to be ruled by your genes. Human beings can choose the kind of life that they want to live. What's important is that you choose life... and then live." - Naomi Hunter

"Good! Now we can fight as warriors! Hand to hand! It is the basis of all combat! Only a fool trusts his life to a weapon!" - Gray Fox

"This world is one of sadness. Battle brings death. Death brings sorrow. The living may not hear them. Their voices may fall upon deaf ears. But make no mistake - the dead... are not silent." - The Sorrow

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine. I just have an uncontrollable urge to rip you to tiny shreds and then dance and spit all over your graves." - Deadpool

"Wait, we're going to fight Dr. Doom? No one told me we were going to fight Doom! I want my lawyer! I want my mummy! I want my lawyer's mummy!" - Deadpool

"EVERYBODY! Shield me with your bodies!" - Deadpool

"All I ever wanted was to travel off in exotic places and meet new exciting people and then kill them, so I became a mercenary. My name is Wade Wilson. And I love what I do." - Deadpool

"You just killed the nice deranged chick from the juice bar that I was gonna score with someday maybe!" - Deadpool

"'I can burn people to death with my hands?" Harry's face lit up with joy, "dreams do come true.'" - Harry Potter from Odd Ideas Chapter 10 by Rorschach's Blot

"NOTHING WILL PROTECT YOU FROM ME! NOT MEN, NOT WEAPONS, NOT ARMOR!" - Alex Mercer in Prototype

"They are in front of us, behind us, and we are flanked on both sides by an enemy that outnumbers us 29:1. They can't get away from us now!" - Lewis B. "Chesty" Puller, USMC

Awesome Scenes:

Scene from Return of Deathless Hero by Naosj -

Meanwhile back in the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey had emerged finding many of patients gone and cried out in a frustrated piercing bark, "Where in the world did those idiots run off to!" However all that could be heard was, Podmore muttering. "Served a six month stint for …dat ass grabbing git. Damn bell-end. Crack a rock at your penis; let's see how well you like running after me then. You're all like 'Ohhhh my testicles.' Yes. That's why I slammed a rock in your genitalia. What are you gonna do now? Hobble after me? Yeah? Don't think so. *mumble mumble* crummy ... bas …"

Scene from Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by Rorschach's Blot -

"Wormtail?"

"Yes master?"

"Do you see a naked Harry Potter walking towards us with a pair of hedge clippers?"

"You see it too master?"

"I'm not Harry Potter!" Harry screamed. "I'm HEDGE MAN!"

Scene from Thinking in Little Green Boxes by Diresquirrel -

Jean and Scott watched as the child they had grown to see as their own surrogate child packed up to leave for England. Jean was a little saddened by Harry leaving, but she knew he wasn't really hers.

"What is it?"

"It's just, Little Harry's leaving for England to learn a wide range of reality bending powers," Jean said. Cyclops pulled her into a comforting half hug.

"Don't worry, this can't possibly be as bad as the time he stole Dr. Doom's credit card."

In Latveria, a certain monarch was looking at his Visa bill.

"Who dares defile DOCTOR DOOM'S credit score?"

Scene from Chapter 53 of Odd Ideas by Rorschach's Blot -

Elsewhere, Sirius looked up as he felt a strange feeling in the back of his head. "Godfather senses . . . tingling . . . arg." He clutched his now throbbing head. "MY GODSON IS SOOOOO MANLY."