So hi. I'm the rhymenocerous. No, I don't actually do a lot of rhyming, but I love Flight of the Conchords and their epic gangsta rap battle The Rhymenocerous vs. The Hip-Hopapotamus (featuring the Rhymenocerous and the Hip-Hopapotamus) just made me laugh, and when I needed a name for Fan Fiction, it was the first thing that popped into my head.

So, about me. Hmmm... what to say, what to say? Well, as you can tell by the little Maple Leaf at the top of the page, I am Canadian and proud of it! I love hockey (go Canucks!) and beer, especially when enjoyed together ;) Best moment in my life so far? Being in Vancouver for the 2010 Gold Medal hockey game where Canada won gold. What a feeling!

I have been a long-time lurker here at FanFiction, and only began to post my own stories *points to the feeble list at the bottom of the page* in the Spring of 2010. Since then I have been so blessed by the people who have taken the time to review what I've written, or send me a PM to tell me what they've thought of my work. The amount of support that I've found here amongst fellow authors, as well as folks who simply like to read what others have written, has been absolutely fantastic.

What else could you possibly want to know about me? Hmm... Likes and Dislikes? Yeah. Let's go with that, shall we?

Music:I'm a pretty ecclectic music whore. I'll listen to just about anything... although not such a huge fan of country. Now don't get me wrong all you country fans out there - there are a few artists that I will tolerate, but for the most part, I'm just not into it. What's currently on my "Most Listened To" playlist on my iPod? Well, since you asked... Boots or Hearts (The Tragically Hip), Secret (Missy Higgins), Living In Jungles (Bedouin Soundclash), Feeling Good (by either Nina Simone or Michael Buble), Dashboard (Modest Mouse), Chain of Fools (Aretha Franklin), Viva la Vida (Coldplay), Sex on Fire (Kings of Leon), My Favourite Mistake (Sheryl Crow), Sinnerman (Nina Simone/The Verve Remix), Breaking Dishes (Rihanna), Message in a Bottle (the live cover by John Mayer), Miniature Disasters (KT Tunstall), Run Through the Jungle (CCR), Chasing Pavements (Adele), I Go Blind (54-40), Sitting on the Dock of the Bay (Otis Redding), Sweet Dreams (The Eurhythmics), Mad World (Gary Jules), Ain't No Sunshine (Bill Withers), King of Pain (live cover by Alanis Morrissette), Ballad of a Thin Man (Bob Dylan), Never There (Cake), Delicate (Damien Rice), Fever (Diana Krall), When I'm Up I Can't Get Down (Great Big Sea), Lay Me Down (Ashley MacIsaac), Superstition (Stevie Wonder), Happy Phantom (Tori Amos), Wheat Kings (The Tragically Hip), She Wolf (Shakira), Promiscuous (Nelly Furtado), Why Wait (Shakira), Seven Day Fool (Jully Black), Sleepy Maggie (Ashley MacIsaac), Supermassive Black Hole (Muse), Walking on Broken Glass (Annie Lennox)... there's actually more. But I think this is a sufficiently long list to give you a general idea of the vagueness of defining my favourite music category! LOL.

Movies:Again, not a particular genre I'm particularly fond of... but I know what I don't like. I try to steer clear of all things Julia Roberts (with the exception of Closer with Jude Law, Clive Owen and Natalie Portman). I pretty much detest romantic comedies. No wait! Before you pummel me to death, let me explain! I should say that I hate those cheesy romantic comedies that are clearly nothing more than a money grab by some star who has no actual talent (or is too lazy to actually put any effort into acting) and instead chooses to make mundane crap that is neither particularly funny nor remotely romantic. I won't name names *coughs* J-Lo *coughs, but they tend to be bland, predictable drivel that is frankly a waste of my time. But there are a few romantic comedies out there that are truly fantastic. Like High Fidelity. If you haven't seen this movie already, go out and rent it right now. It will soon be on your all-time, top five best romantic comedy movies of all time list. (And once you've seen the movie, you will totally get that reference!)

I guess I don't really have a particularly girly taste in movies. For example, my favourite Christmas movie of all time is Die Hard. Yeah. Put that in your pipe and smoke it! I love the Lord of the Rings movies, Star Wars, Harry Potter and I enjoy the Twilight books (but the movies have left me luke-warm). I am a huge fan of all things Cohen Brothers, and my particular favourites are Fargo, O Brother, Where Art Thou? and True Grit. If I had a rainy afternoon to waste watching one movie, I'd watch Shaun of the Dead. If I had time after that, I'd watch it again, or maybe switch it up for Hot Fuzz. I have a collection of about three hundred DVDs and BluRays, so I definitely won't bore you with the whole list. But I think you get the picture!

Books: I love books. I love them so very, very much. I have shelves upon shelves weighted down with books of all kinds, from classic literature to trashy pulp fiction. I love mysteries and I have inherited a large collection of Agatha Christie books from my grandmother. PD James and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle are but a few of the other mystery/crime novelists that line my shelves. I studied Victorian Literature in university and a large portion of my shelving is devoted to the works of authors from that time: The Bronte sisters, Jane Austen, Oscar Wilde, Charles Dickens, Christina Rosetti, Alexander Pope... the list goes on and on.

Television: My current obsession is The Walking Dead, which keeps me right on the edge of my seat week after week Zombies are a particular favorite of mine, so when I heard they were making a show about the Zombie apocalypse... Well, I was in heaven! Other shows? I loved FRIENDS and Sex and the City when they were on TV. My favourite comedy that I go to when I really need a laugh? Well it's a tie between The Big Bang Theory, Arrested Development, 30 Rock and Flight of the Conchords (dammit all to heck that the last three have been cancelled! Curse you, TV Gods! Curse you!). When it comes to dramas, I love Criminal Minds, CSI: NY, Chicago Fire and House. And I'm totally addicted to Ace of Cakes on the Food Network. Oh, and it would be unpatriotic of me not to mention Hockey Night in Canada!

I have a very British sense of humour, and I think that stems from a childhood growing up watching shows with my oh-so British grandmother. Among my very favourites are Little Britain (not to be watched with Grandma!), Blackadder, The Vicar of Dibley and Red Dwarf.

So... I guess that's about it. If you have a question or you want to chat, please don't be shy. I'm always happy to chat with a fellow FF writer or lurker! I always make a point of replying to the reviews I receive for my stories, and likewise, I try to leave a review anytime I read a story that really speaks to me or moves me (or turns me on...It have to admit I love me some well-written smut). So if you haven't heard from me in a while, feel free to poke me gently with a sharp stick. That will definitely get my attention!

Thanks for taking the time to find out a bit more about me. I wish you all happy reading!

hugs*
rhymes