Hi there! If you're reading this, that means that you either got lost browsing through FanFiction authors or you like my stories and want to know more about me. Either way, you must be procrastinating or have nothing better to do, more than likely you're procrastinating. Well, have I got good news for you! This profile page has approximately five to ten minutes of guaranteed time-wasting material if you're bored.

Otherwise, all I have to say about myself is that I am female despite being Macho "Man". Long story short, Macho Man is something of a super hero created by my friends and I. I use fanfiction as a fun thing to do and write stories about books I happen to like.

Discovering the Profile Page

Macho Man in...Super Sam!

SS: Ham! Get your ham right here! Sam's brand ham! 'Cause I can do whatever the heck I want!

MM: Excuse me? Are you a super hero?

SS: Why yes. Yes I am. Want some ham? I am Sam, Sam I am! And I sell ham! CAUSE I CAN!

MM: Err...that's very nice...err...Super Sam.

SS: Would you like to join the ham enthusiast club? With a membership, you get 50 percent off all Sam's Ham products not including meat, booble heads, and other reletive merchandise.

MM: Hmm...sounds like a pretty sweet deal Super Sam! I'm in!

SS: Thank you for your patronage. HAM! GET SAM'S HAM RIGHT HERE LADIES AND GENTS! LIMITED TIME OFFER!

MM: So, Sam is it? What is it you do?

SS: Whatever the heck I want, Macho. Whatever the heck I want.

MM: Hey! I think that's the first thing you haven't screamed at me!

SS: THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!

MM: Hey Sam, while you're here, could you maybe try selling some of my products? I make Macho's Nachos and...

SS: ...You...are...the...producer...of...MACHO'S NACHOS!? I think I love you! Gimme nachos! Gimme! Gimme!! RAWR!!

MM: WOW! Chill there Stanley! You can have some as long as you sell some.

SS: I can have some?! I knew there was a reason I liked you! Come 'ere and give me a hug!

MM: Err...I'd rather no...AH!

SS: hug hug hug!

MM: I have a feeling this isn't the last I'll be seeing of Super Sam...

Gregory the imaginary tortoise

He's not a turtle, he's not a porpoise...he's a frikin' tortoise people! You can't help but love him. Submitt a question to Gregory through Macho Man. You can ask Gregory anything and be sure to have an answer. The question he is currently working on is up on the poll. You can vote and see how close you come to the REAL answer. Gregory will announce the answer on one of my stories. Usually the one that was last updated.

So submitt some questions everyone! Gregory is bored and has no life!!

The Daily Potato! ~you know you want one...

40) My night in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

41) "Away" Messages: Sorry. I'm not here right now. Please feel free to talk to the computer while I'm gone.

42) Hunger has driven man to insanity; today, it has driven me from the computer.

43) If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

44) Never forget your friends, especially the ones that owe you.

45) The 50-50-90 rule: if you have a 50/50 chance of getting something right, there is a 90 chance that you'll get it wrong.

46) Strangers have the best candy.

47) Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

48) Dear IRS, please cancle my subscription.

49) Without mucus, your stomach will digest itself! Such a happy thought...--Lightkit

50) As I said before, I never repeat myself.

51) As long as I can remember, I had amnesia.

52) If you don't know where you're going, you'll wind up somewhere else.

53) Constant change is here to stay.

54) Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.--Albert Einstein

55) Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid!

56) All you non conformists are all the same.

57) I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

58) Don't use a big word when a diminuative one would suffice.

59) You're unique; just like everyone else!

60) I know people who don't love their fellow man; I hate people like that!

61) Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

62) Everyone has photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

63) First rule of acting: no matter what happens, it was intended.

64) Nobody notices what I do; until I don't do it.

65) After all is said and done more is said than done.

66) I don't mind if you sleep in class. Just don't snore. You'll disturb others who are trying to sleep.

67) To steal ideas from one is plagiarism. To steal from many is research!

68) Two kinds of people: those who finish what they start...

69) As far as we know, the computer has never had an undetected error.

70) My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

71) Hospitality is making your guests feel at home...even when you wish they were.

72) There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.

73) I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

74) Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

75) When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

76) There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

77) Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

78) Always borrow money from a pessemist; they never expect it back.

79) Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

80) Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"