hi. i always write an opinion when I finish to read but this time I'm just during this process and I can't stop myself, do Oh My God.! your Edward is so so fu**ING annoying. Sheesh. He is acting like he knows everything about Bella just BC he is experienced in bed.I know what you're doing, I know how it works, you won't fix me I'll tell you just what I'll want you to know about me and you're stupid young little girl and BC I am awesome in bed yoll be live me forever) I almost cannot stand he's behaviour... ... He thinks hat Bella is do naïve all the time... Who the hell is he? So I assume Raven is his girl, he is very ill and he has to be manwhore just because he needs the money to save her? am I right? And now? I am genius huh?
No no I know nothing... and Edward knows nothing also. His fakeness is soooo irritating. His role play... I know I know why he is acting like that but it's like he thinks Bella don't know what he is doing... argh. its really interesting topic btw. I like it Where did you find your inspiration?

AWESOME ! I LOVE Edward as a sub and Bella as a domme ;) I thought it had only been 2-3 years they were apart ? So Katie would be 6/7 not 8/9 ? Because it said he was 23 when the fire happened and he's 26 now ? Anyway thanks for sharing and I'm looking forward to the sequel ;D

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I was so hoping he wouldn’t go there. Especially since he knows what that particular activity feels like.
This happened to me once, but my “lo mein” was ignored. It was one of the worst things I’ve ever gone through. If I believed in the trigger warning mentality I’d say this chapter was super triggering for me. But I don’t so instead of spiraling I’m leaving an anonymous overstate in the comments.
NEVER LET SOMEONE BIND YOU UNTIL YOU’VE MET THEIR MOTHER AND KNOW THEIR SSN BY HEART. - free advice

So, this has been a wild run. overall, i really liked it (although i gotta say i did feel some lack of sense of reality, like, how could edward go straight to the streets after his father disowned him? did he have no friends at all? and things like renee going away when bella was 3, and then having died of cancer, when she was 10, i think? or maybe like edward being able to have sex after being a pain slave to raven? i mean, come on, that's not very plausible hehe anddddd i did hate jasper. just a bit. i mean, come on, he almost fucked everybody up, even though i do sense the police is, sometimes, ineffective and he just wanted justice done. but sometimes the price is too high for others to pay)

but i got to say i really enjoyed it. even though i did not like charlie's end. his little mermaid tirade was amazing, but, father wise, i do not get why he did not abide to the witness protection program. i mean, i would think that, as a father, he would rather be with his little girl, even with everything, than just letting her go with a man he did not completely approve of, you know?

buutt i really liked it. the whole plot was amazing. thanks.

ive read the whole book so far but this is my first review. i know its prob to late to tell you my opinion on the next chapter since its already out and so is the whole thing but i love it and its really great! the vampire i thought could give edward a way to escape, just have his parents kill everyone problem solved but i guess that was to predictable so icant wait to see how he actually escapes!

This story makes me feel uncomfortable and a little nauseous, but I keep reading anyway...
What does that mean?
The vamp twist was a little left field but I kinda liked it, to bad it was all just a dream!

Love this storyOne huge correction I noticed a couple times throughout the story-it's "dying", not "dieing". Just something to keep in mind for the any future writings (and said with love, not judgment. Mad respect for what you do!)

I can't believe I've never read a story by you! Been a reader in the Twilight fanfic world on and off for years, and I've completely missed this. I was initially drawn in by the summary (and that review count - sorry!) but ultimately stayed because of the beautiful story you managed to draw up.

I was kinda hesitant at first - your spelling errors and incomplete sentences took getting used to, honestly - but what are usually reading dealbreakers stopped mattering. You words were so immersive and their thoughts so realistic. I genuinely had to skip so many of the pain slave parts just to keep from cringing in my seat! Ugh, I had so much fun here.

Love this crazy story! I hope she saves him...

This is a really great story, despite many spelling and syntax errors. However, referring to Native Americans as ‘Indians’, over and over and over in this way is so ignorant as to be shameful. I hope in the 10 years since you published this story that you have realized this, and that you will make the effort to republish correctly.

I remember stumbling upon this story a few years ago and not being able to finish it because of how...disturbing some things were. However I finally read it all and it was just so...powerful, the way you’re able to invoke these themes through your characters. It was rough, but worth reading. You’re an amazing writer, thank you for sharing this with us.

I loved the end of this chapter. Bella was able to really show how he influences her and I think he loved seeing her goofy side. Great chapter

Holy smokes! Talk about a man knowing his way around town. Great chapter.

Amazing first chapter!