Have you ever wondered why...

Getting beat down and getting beat up means the same thing

but

Getting knocked down and getting knocked up mean two entirely different things

Andy has an Idea

My name is Andy and I have an Idea. Simple, right?

I enjoy writing and I write Naruto fan fiction because I can. I should probably change my name to Andy has too many Ideas because I have the opposite of writer's block. I have writer's deluge. The problem is that I don't have the time nor the motivation to get it all down in text so if you need an Idea then PM me and I'll give you a few dozen.

I’m a man so I write from a man’s perspective. Nothing against women, I just write what I know. I am constantly searching for new knowledge so I enjoy reading as well. I don’t write a whole lot of comments but when I do, I usually write a lot. I do not hate. I’ll tell you what I like and/or dislike but please remember that it is only my opinion and in no way reflects on your abilities as a writer.

I read pretty much anything except for Yaoi/Yuri, not because I hate it but because I don’t swing that way. I dislike fluff but I don’t mind reading it if it advances the plot. I am a big fan of tension. As far as coupling is concerned I take an open mind. If you can make it interesting I’ll read it.

Shikamaru is my favorite character, hands down. He’s the only one I can relate to, so he is in all my fics. If my story involves coupling then I mostly write Shikamaru/Temari fics and not because they’re a cannon couple. The relationship lends itself to a lot of tension and as I said before, I’m a big fan of tension. Although I've had a current fixation with Shikamaru/Hinata and Shikamaru/Sakura as well as a disturbingly awesome facination with Shikamaru/Kurenai.

Shipping always comes with handling and I hate paying extra so I fly no flags. Although, I've got this wicked Idea floating in my brain for a Chouji/Shiho fic(but I might also be on crack).

Saw this shit and thought it was Hilarious! http:///portal/view/486350

Big Paja is my beta. He's kickin' ass and takin' names. Shoot first and ask questions later. Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out. I just hope you're ready for it.

My fics:

Stories I’ve written:

Who is Nara Shikamaru : My on-going epic following Shikamaru’s life from the beginning to a foreseeable end. It seems slow and arduous but my goal is to provide insight into his character. I have it listed as Shikamaru/Temari because it is going to be an important relationship but I’m sticking closely to the cannon in this story which means there is not a lot of Temari in the beginning. If you’re patient enough, I’m sure you’ll enjoy their interaction later on.

Let’s Make Out : A song fic I wrote based on the song Let’s Make Out by Does It Offend You? Yeah! It’s Shikamaru/Temari set five years after the start of Shippuuden. Pure fun. I rated it T because I didn’t want to get too graphic. It’s Let’s Make Out, not Let’s make a porno.

You've Gotta See This! : An entirely stupid idea, I just had to write. No Pairlings. What happens when the Chuunin get bored and boys will be boys.

The Chain : Another song fic based on the song The Chain by Fleetwood Mac. Narutoverse, set in the near future on the verge of war. Shikamaru/Temari because if you listen to the song and don’t get the Shikamaru/Temari reference than you must be a little slow on the uptake.

Some Things: This idea popped into my head and it didn't fit in any of the other stories I'm writing so I made it a one-shot. How did Yoshino react to Shikamaru leaving to get revenge?

Her Tears: A personal story I decided to write because I found out something new about myself. Shikamaru absent-mindedly makes Hinata cry and her tears have a certain effect on him.

Puberty, Masterbation and Courtship: Written in response to Randomonium's Menstration, Conception and Childbirth.

I'm Not Your Boyfriend, Baby- the sequal to Let's Make Out. The next day, Shikamaru has some doubts about what he's doing and questions his relationships with women.

Stories I’m working on:

Moving Forward : AU Taken from a script I wrote in college, it’s a story of nostalgia and letting go of the past. Set in modern day, I found that some of the Naruto characters fit into the story so I’m re-writing it a little. Since it was taken from my script, there will be some non-cannon couples so surprise, No Shikamaru/Temari. I put the characters in where they fit.

The Four Horsemen Inspired by the dark horse reference in episode Sixty-four and the story of the four horsemen of the apocalypse in the book of revelations. Narutoverse, a foreseeable near future where war has broken out and four shinobi turn the tide of war and strike fear into the hearts of their enemies.

Through the Flames: Shikamaru has made the biggest mistake of his life and his friends abandon him. Why is she still here and why is she not angry with him?

The Widow: Inspired by the song of the same name by The Mars Volta. Kurenai feels Asuma's presence when Shikamaru is around.

I Want You: the third and finally story of the song-fic trilogy. Inspired by the song of the same name by Kings of Leon.

In Honour of my Favorite character: here are some things about men and women.

Women want a relationship without the complication of unnecessary sex. Men want sex without the complication of a unnecessary relationship.

A man asked God, "Why did you make women so beautiful?" to which God replies, "So you would find them attractive." Then the man asks, "But why did you have to make them so dumb?" to which God replies, "So they would find you attractive."

Ten Facts Every Man should Know about Women

1.) 'Oh, nothing,' has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.

2.) Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and 'good china'.

3.) Regardless of what they say, women do not want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

4.) Although it is a common misconception, PMS actually stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter.

5.) Fact: Men will never catch women checking out other men but women will always catch men checking out other women.

6.) Women must talk on the phone. They can visit a girlfriend for two weeks and when they get home, will call each other and talk for three hours.

7.) Women cannot use a map without turning said map to correspond to the direction they're heading.

8.) All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash or picking up the check.

9.) Women cannot check to see if the toilet seat is down. They prefer to blindly fall into the bowl and become enraged that 'you left the seat down' rather than taking the two seconds to lower it themselves.

10.) Despite all claims to the contrary, women don't really care about a sense of humour in a guy. You don't see women trampling over Brad Pitt to get to Danny DeVito now, do you?

Five Quotes for the Married Man

1.) I married Miss Right. I just didn't know that her first name was Always.

2.) It's a fallacy that married men live longer than single men. It only seems that way.

3.) Losing a wife can be difficult. In my case, it was almost impossible.

4.) A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

5.) I haven't spoken to my wife in three years. I don't want to interrupt her.

I can't help it. I'm a cocksman.

Naruto Characters I would:

01. Bake cupcakes for: No one because I don't bake.
02. Trust with the keys to my car: Hinata because she would think about my car and my safety
03. Put thumbtacks on their chair: Sasuke because he scores high on the douche-a-meter
04. Have a crush on: Shizune, so hot. want to touch the hiny
05. Pack up and leave if they moved next door: Hidan, cultist give me the creeps
06. Vote for President / Prime Minister: The Raikage because we would kick ass
07. Pick as my partner in a buddy movie: Kiba because he would talk me into doing a bunch of stupid things and it would make an interesting movie.
08. Pair up: Chouji and Shiho because!
09. Vote off the island and into the volcano: Kirabi(killer bee) because he's too stupid.
10. Wheedle into fixing my MP3 player: Edward Elrich... Wait, wrong manga!

Has anyone noticed that Kishimoto is taking a page out of Starwars?

A young blond boy is taught how to use Natural energy by a small green creature. Sasuke is turning to the darkside. Hell, it wouldn't surprise me if Naruto and Sakura turned out to be siblings.