alansquill
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Joined 08-26-07, id: 1361829, Profile Updated: 12-01-09
Author has written 7 stories for Star Wars, and Alex Rider.

A new story, a new bio! So, here goes...

Hobbies: Writing (obviously), reading, painting, dancing, solving math problems, trivia, Model UN-ing, and singing in the shower

Age: Greater than 3! but less than 5!

Quick Facts: I am a grammar Nazi. Seriously. I will immediately stop reading any fic that has atrocious grammar, spelling, and/or plot. Minor syntactical errors are acceptable, provided they do not seriously detract from the flow of the story. And please, please, please let me know if you find errors in my own writing. I like to know these things.

I like big words. I could go completely over the top and create an insanely long sentence using only trisyllabic words, but that'd just be cruel. And if you can correctly incorporate "amaranthine" into a sentence, I will love you forever.

Chocolate and reviews are two big things I live for. I understand the inclination to read and add a story to favorites or alerts, but really, these things mean nothing to us authors without a review to tell us what we can improve, what you liked, what you want to see more of, etc. And while I'm certainly no angel - I've left many a story unreviewed because I was tired or something - I always try to write reviews if I add a story to my favorites or alerts list, so the author knows why I did so.

My writing moods are bipolar. Some months I'll churn out ideas faster than I can type, and some months I want nothing to do with my stories. The end result is very, very slow updating. I'm working on it. And with 5 Advanced Placement classes at school, 16 college applications to finish (with 2+ essays for each), dance classes three times a week, and the various clubs and sports done at school, I am extremely busy.

Story Progressions:

Alan Blunt's Big Book of MI6 Carols: A work in progress. I don't know if I'll ever be done. They're humorous one-shots with a Christmasy theme and great stree relief, both for the writer and author. No refunds if it doesn't live up to your expectations, sorry.

All in the Family: This was started a year ago, when I was completely in love with every single character in the Alex Rider series. It is an example of what not to do with writing. My attempted revamp didn't go so well, and since I really had no idea where I was going, it's been abandoned forever.

What Do We Do With His Body?: Abandoned. I was an immature, bad writer back then and when AitF was started. I'm an immature, somewhat good writer now, I hope.

Lie To Me: Latest work. I am determined to stick with this and complete this multi-chapter fic. I have a nasty habit of starting stories and leaving them uncompleted. But rest assured, updates will come.

Favorite Pairings:

Harry Potter

Draco/Ginny

Hermione/Severus

Harry/Luna

Ron can go off himself for all I care.

Alex Rider

Jack/Ian

John/Helen (obvious, but I like the idea of them producing Alex)

Alex is too young for a serious girlfriend. And no canon characters work well with Yassen (other than John, so I may occassionally endorse Yassen/John slash).

Other

Booth/Brennan (Bones)

Abby/McGee (NCIS)

Ziva/Tony (NCIS)

Verses I Read

Harry Potter

Alex Rider

Sherlock Holmes

Firefly

Chuck

NCIS

Bones

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Backward With Purpose Part I: Always and Always by deadwoodpecker reviews
AU. Harry, Ron, and Ginny send themselves back in time to avoid the destruction of everything they hold dear, and the deaths of everyone they love.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 55 - Words: 286,867 - Reviews: 4825 - Favs: 7,309 - Follows: 2,779 - Updated: 9/28/2018 - Published: 2/28/2008 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
First Kiss by DemonicK reviews
"It's not my fault we just got locked in a closet!" The universe seems to think McKay and Sheppard are made for each other. John and Rodney beg to differ.
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,967 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 11/13/2013 - Published: 9/30/2008 - John S., Rodney M. - Complete
Beautiful Things by Lady Valmar reviews
Rodney's tired of trying to compete with himself and after Geldar he's exhausted. His feelings are revealed to Jenny Sheppard through a very heated dream. Takes place after Season 3's The Game ep. Alternate Universe. Gender Change.
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,833 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 8/6/2011 - Published: 12/21/2006 - Rodney M., John S. - Complete
Slogans i'm not allowed to put on tshirts by Alanna's modern day twin reviews
Slogans i'm not allowed to put on t-shirts in Hogwarts well pretty self explanitory. Disclaimer NOT MINE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 636 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/10/2009 - Published: 7/23/2008 - Complete
The 12 Marauder days of Christmas! by Lily Jay reviews
The 12 Marauder days of Christmas! trust me... you'll roffle your pants off! please review!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,167 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/6/2009 - Published: 7/25/2008 - Complete
Bright Lights And Shadows by Incensio Lady reviews
Rodney was like a planet, he drew people into his orbit; graduate students, students, colleagues; and spat them out again, often dazed, usually bitter, but always better scientists for it. Implied Slash.
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,026 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/22/2009 - John S., Rodney M. - Complete
Die Regretting by Synderella reviews
The final seconds of the countdown felt like eternity repeating itself. IMPLIED CASEY/CHUCK, SET DURING 2X13 CHUCK VS. THE BEST FRIEND.
Chuck - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 548 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/28/2009 - Casey/Alex C., Chuck B. - Complete
Casey vs Many Grumpy Returns by verkisto reviews
Casey had to go to his cover birthday party. He supposed. *growl*
Chuck - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,161 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/27/2009 - Casey/Alex C. - Complete
Finding the Nerve by Tyloric reviews
Slash - Chuck/Casey - Chuck is oblivious. So, Casey tries to make a move. Tries to.
Chuck - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,141 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/21/2009 - Chuck B., Casey/Alex C. - Complete
How There Was A Giant Conspiracy To Kidnap Rodney by chaletian reviews
And Possibly Even Torture Him. AU. Framed aeronautical engineer John Sheppard is on the run from the cops, trying to prove his innocence. Which is fine, up until the point he takes Rodney McKay hostage.
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,340 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/10/2009 - John S., Rodney M. - Complete
Spontaneity and Excitement by Emerald-Kisses reviews
I want more spontaneity, try something more...exciting." So, she wanted spontaneity? She wanted more excitement? Well, he was Draco Malfoy, so he would do his damned best. - Finale of Dramione Sexcapades. Rated M for a reason! R&R.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,556 - Reviews: 243 - Favs: 1,234 - Follows: 233 - Published: 10/17/2008 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Trading Spaces by SnippyandSnarky reviews
New & Improved! COMPLETE! HP/DM, SS/HG: Dumbledore's scheme to create House Unity has great consequences. House Mascots, Traded Prefects -- Snippy, Snarky, Snakes, Shagging, Snogging are included! Enjoy, thee, thee, thee . . . Thank you and goodnight!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 169,161 - Reviews: 2339 - Favs: 2,467 - Follows: 759 - Updated: 10/7/2008 - Published: 11/23/2002 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
The Man Who Couldn't Open Doors by Fenchurch1 reviews
Inspired by Season 5, episode 3, when Richard Woolsey was trapped by the closing doors. Is Atlantis trying to hide something from him? This is a McShep story - there is only mild kissing and romantic piers.
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,652 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/8/2008 - Rodney M., John S. - Complete
Wardrobe Malfunction by Feigningintrest reviews
A late start to the morning, getting dressed in the dark, and a class room full of snakes and lions.... this can't end well
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,270 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 437 - Follows: 61 - Published: 9/3/2008 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Ten Good Ways to Annoy the Bejeezus Outta Voldie by Thorn In Your Side reviews
Well, I just have to say that this was inspired by the videos on Youtube, so i'll just disclaim them real quick: the ten ways aren't mine. The video isn't mine. Hoshi is mine though, touch him and die!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,012 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Voldemort - Complete
Of Presents and Perverseness by hpdrfan1 reviews
A little humour fic to please my HP readers. It's Voldemort's BDay, and the Death Eaters decide to throw him a party, with presents...and games...and cake. R&R, comments and constructive critisism most welcome. PLEASE check out my HP forum!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 941 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/9/2008 - Voldemort - Complete
One Beautiful Weakness by late-stranger reviews
Nile only ever had one weakness. Nile's weakness had a name. Her name was Casey Walker. Oneshot. Rated T for violence and implied brief thoughts of suicide.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Angst/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 816 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/3/2008 - Nile - Complete
Hang 'Em High by buggerfck reviews
The Joker isn't cruel – he’ll never leave you hanging. Sort of an epilogue to The Dark Knight, from the Joker's POV.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: K+ - English - Crime/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 481 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/23/2008 - Complete
When Antidepressants Attack by WeirdnessTimesTwo reviews
Snape, after a long while of deprssion, finally gets the antidepressants he needs but the Potter Puppet Pals find that they work a little too well. We own nothing but you should see Potter Puppet pals before reading this. Leave comments! We love em!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,277 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/29/2008 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
PT Buddy by WiccaWitch reviews
PWP - Hermione has always run to relieve her frustration and insomnia. She's now discovered a more pleasurable way of accomplishing the same thing!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,755 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 254 - Follows: 35 - Published: 6/15/2008 - Bill W., Hermione G. - Complete
Strictly Ballroom by RoaringMice reviews
What happens when you dare to take a chance. Warning: SLASH.
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,376 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/27/2008 - Published: 5/23/2008 - Rodney M., John S. - Complete
Destiny Redefined by thejealousone reviews
Semi-sequel to "In the Words of Ginevra Molly Potter." Voldemort was dead, all was well, but the real enemy had yet to reveal himself. Time-Travel Story.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Supernatural - Chapters: 35 - Words: 96,449 - Reviews: 595 - Favs: 277 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 5/22/2008 - Published: 12/4/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Dog Tags and Things by Xela Xe reviews
Rodney has a hard time remembering to call John 'Colonel,' so John decides a lesson is in order. But it's definitely something more. Slash, McShep, No kiddies, medium BDSM
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,231 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/12/2008 - Rodney M., John S. - Complete
Adventures In Babysitting by NixItAll reviews
Harry and Hermione have a simple task: babysit Teddy while Andromeda is away. How much trouble can a toddler get into anyway? RegulusHermione Complete, now with epilogue!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,957 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 524 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 12/20/2007 - Published: 11/17/2007 - Regulus B., Hermione G. - Complete
Inked by NixItAll reviews
This isn’t any more exciting than any other quill… other than it smells bad… Lord, Hermione can be boring, she needs help.' Sirius shows Hermione that all work and no play... is no way to live.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,892 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 21 - Published: 10/21/2007 - Sirius B., Hermione G. - Complete
Don't Call Me 'Mione by Koukla22 reviews
OneShot Challenge. Charlie Weasley was the most arrogant man Hermione had ever known. If he thought he could sway her with those winks of his or that lopsided grin... Well, he might just be right.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,711 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 285 - Follows: 49 - Published: 10/5/2007 - Charlie W., Hermione G. - Complete
Misinterpretations by astheblackrosewilts reviews
John’s trying to let Rodney know he wants him but words have always been open to misinterpretation – McShep – 500 words
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 585 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/2/2006 - John S., Rodney M. - Complete
Image by astheblackrosewilts reviews
Even on Atlantis, image is everything
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 224 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 14 - Published: 9/2/2006 - Rodney M., John S. - Complete
McShep Alphabet Drabbles by astheblackrosewilts reviews
26 different drabbles either centred around Rodney, John or McShep slash or friendship.
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,870 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/24/2006 - John S., Rodney M. - Complete
Not So Superior Judgement by astheblackrosewilts reviews
“Superior judgement!” Rodney screeched, “what ‘superior judgement’? She’s writing about us!” Rodney finds something disturbing on one of his scientist’s computers. McShep, slight submissiveness, very slight.
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 997 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/21/2006 - John S., Rodney M. - Complete
Die For You by astheblackrosewilts reviews
The scientist snorted, his eyes hard. “You’d die for anyone on Atlantis, that’s exactly the problem.” McShep Drabble, angsty
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 151 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/21/2006 - John S., Rodney M. - Complete
Requiem for a Child by astheblackrosewilts reviews
Rodney McKay takes one last chance at reaching out. Kidfic, pre Atlantis, preteen Rodney
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 770 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/11/2006 - Rodney M. - Complete
Watching by astheblackrosewilts reviews
Rodney watches and remembers, McShep implied, bittersweet Drabble
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 128 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/11/2006 - Rodney M., John S. - Complete
Those Darn Alien Spores by Porthos1013 reviews
Alien spores made them do it...or did they? A bit of funny fluffy BeckettCadman, McWeir, Sheyla, RononSurprise, and ZelenkaSurprise…the poor man. Now with more Lorne!
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,810 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/19/2006 - Published: 6/16/2006 - Carson B., Laura C. - Complete
Inspired By Your Shoe Laces by Smarmy Penguin reviews
When Blaise, Draco and Goyle decide to rebel against their parents in the most unusual fashion, chaos insures! Featuring Harry Potter’s magic fingers, Leather, shoe laces, funnels and anything else these twisted boys can produce. finished!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 61,087 - Reviews: 737 - Favs: 749 - Follows: 292 - Updated: 10/30/2005 - Published: 5/17/2005 - Draco M., Harry P.
Take My Heart Away by Hatusu reviews
Complete. Hermione goes back in time with one mission: to kill Tom Riddle before he comes to power. How hard can it be? Impossible, she realizes, as a love between them grows stronger than anything she's ever known. Now Hermione has a choice to make: Will
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 19 - Words: 42,202 - Reviews: 2289 - Favs: 2,875 - Follows: 620 - Updated: 8/16/2005 - Published: 1/15/2005 - Hermione G., Voldemort - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Lie To Me reviews
“Zeljan,” she began, “might I introduce our latest level of penetration into MI6?” Alex Rider owes Scorpia a favor. He also has an aunt with questionable loyalties and an assassin living in his house. What could go wrong? Post Snakehead
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,659 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 4/17/2010 - Published: 11/30/2009 - Alex R./Cub, Yassen G.
Alan Blunt's Big Book of MI6 Christmas Carols reviews
Despite my original intention to for this to be a one-shot... Gathered Christmas carol spoofs, along with new chapters. Who says you can only write Christmas carols in December?
Alex Rider - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,618 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 15 - Published: 8/1/2009
Jingle Bells, Shotgun Shells reviews
Continuation of the MI6 Carols series. I highly suggest reading The Twelve Days of Christmas to understand where this is coming from. John and Yassen explain how John messed up, and 007 preens some more. One-shot.
Alex Rider - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 739 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/1/2008 - Complete
The Twelve Days of Christmas reviews
A Christmas party at MI6 headquarters is all about caroling! Alex and the gang put their own twist on the traditional song "The Twelve Days of Christmas." One-shot.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,245 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/28/2008 - Complete
All In the Family reviews
Alex is on vacation, but not really - he's interning in another branch of the government. "Mr. Blunt, as you clearly have not heard, is currently getting his pruney self investigated for blackmailing me, an innocent orphan." Post Snakehead. Slightly AU
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,574 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 7/25/2008 - Published: 5/18/2008
What Do We Do With His Body? reviews
Anakin's just died when two people burst into the room. The question arises: what do we do with his body? Insanity, questionable weirdness, and general madness in later chapters.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,450 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/18/2008 - Published: 12/20/2007 - Luke S., Darth Vader
Watching Him reviews
Someone watches as that fateful scene takes place between Luke and Anakin in Episode 6. This is my first fic, so please review!
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 352 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/24/2007 - Anakin Skywalker - Complete