HAPPY NEW YEAR!

(And may it, please god, SUCK less than 2007.)

What should I say about myself...?

Let's see...

Crap.

I just remembered:

I'm not terribly interesting.

(Or maybe I'm just too paranoid to post anything about myself online because I'm afraid of child rapists. ...Granted, I'm well out of the target age range, but I don't see how that makes any difference. You're never too old to fear pedophiles, boys and girls. Remember that. That knowledge will serve you well.)

…Okay, so maybe just a little personal information:

This website is my one link to immaturity and silliness. I, therefore, absolutely refuse to act my age. Besides, there’s no point in even trying – the enthusiasm of all the fun, fabulous high schoolers I’ve met is contagious. So, anyway... everyone, feel free to PM me anytime. And pretty please leave me reviews. They make me happy!

Oh god. I’ve been converted to slash. What’s happened here? And where are the Four Horsemen? Didn't I always say that if I ever chose to read slash voluntarily, that decision would herald the Apocalypse...?

Favorite 'Ships (mostly slash, oddly enough):

Severus/Lucius

Severus/James (for some reason, I absolutely adore this pairing, and there aren’t enough good fics out there – so if you know of one, please PM me stat!!!)

Severus/Sirius

Severus/Bellatrix

Sirius/Remus

Harry/Draco (most beloved ship EVER -- absolute favorite! I am so obsessed!)

Sirius/Harry

Ginny/Hermione

Dumbledore/Grindelwald

'Ships I Hate (or am just plain bored with):

Severus/Hermione (don’t really hate it – actually used to like it, but it got old… fast)

Voldemort/Harry (ugh)

Voldemort/Dumbledore (double ugh!)

Voldemort/Anyone! (let's face it: Voldy is SO nasty)

Fred/George (twincest… yuck)

Ron/Anyone (he’s just such a boring, temperamental waste of space, I don’t understand why anyone bothers)

Harry/Severus (Hate. Hate. Hate this pairing)

Lily/Severus (she didn't deserve him anyway, and I despise her)

Draco/Severus (I don’t know why, exactly… just don’t like it)

Hagrid/Anyone other than Madame Maxime (because it’s so… ugh, jesus god)

Wormtail/Anyone (I just… I mean… what’s the point?)

Favorite Bands:

Iced Earth (pre-Tim “Ripper” Owens… because he’s a tool… and an awful singer. But I still love Jon Schaffer, of course.)

Blind Guardian (Hansi is my GOD)

Iron Maiden

Black Sabbath (particularly the first 8 albums – because Ozzy rules)

Demons & Wizards (Jon AND Hansi! Their combined genius is overwhelming.)

Bathory

Pantera (occasionally… I cooled off on these guys about 8 years ago)

Opeth

Slayer

Carcass

Napalm Death

Arch Enemy

Testament

Metallica (pre-Black Album! That was a transition album, and everything that followed was… just tragically terrible)

Burzum

Morbid Angel

Kataklysm

Nile

Sepultura

Acid Bath

Nevermore

Anthrax

Dream Theater

Helloween (well… sometimes)

Scar Symmetry

Note: Nu-Metal is an abomination… And you shouldn’t listen to it. And for god’s sake, don’t PURCHASE any of it! It just encourages those ghastly, talentless hacks to produce more of that appalling, dreadful, mindless dreck.

Oh… and I love Elton John. How odd is that?

ATTENTION!

Best News Ever: MATT BARLOW HAS OFFICIALLY RETURNED TO ICED EARTH!!!! I never dreamed it would actually happen. I didn't dare to hope. May he save the day, and may Tim Owens ROT in his pathetic, tragic, talentless hell!

Welcome back, Matt!! I have been weeping for you for YEARS!

Stephen Donaldson (hence the handle “elemesnedene”)

J.R.R. Tolkien (naturally)

James Joyce

William S. Burroughs

Bret Easton Ellis

Franz Kafka

William Shakespeare (yes, I know... how original of me)

H.P. Lovecraft (hence my avatar)

Arthur Conan Doyle

Isaac Asimov

J.K. Rowling (wow, who’d have guessed?)

A few random quotes for your reading pleasure:

“Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.” – Scarface

“I just get the feeling my life is lacking forward momentum, you know? Like everything is moving by so quickly that time just seems to stop.” – The Rules of Attraction

“There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.” – Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

“Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is... Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It's you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever.” – Girl, Interrupted

“I am a collage of unaccounted-for brush strokes. I am all random.” – Six Degrees of Separation

“The Valkyrie at my side is shouting and laughing with the pure, hateful, bloodthirsty joy of the slaughter... and so am I.” – Sin City

“Naughty, naughty, naughty! You filthy old soomka!” – A Clockwork Orange

"My idea is this: The artist is extremely lucky who is presented with the worst possible ordeal which will not actually kill him . . . I hope to be nearly crucified." John Berryman

"It's not easy having a good time. Even smiling makes my face ache." – The Rocky Horror Picture Show

"I walk over and stand in front of a man who is sitting on his bed. I look at the man's eyes. Nobody, nothing looks back." – William S. Burroughs; Naked Lunch

“The facts even when beaded on a chain, still did not have real order. Events did not flow. The facts were separate and haphazard and random even as they happened, episodic, broken, no smooth transitions, no sense of events unfolding from prior events.” – Tim O’Brien; Going After Cacciato

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all; / And thus the native hue of resolution / Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, / And enterprises of great pith and moment / With this regard their currents turn awry, / And lose the name of action. – William Shakespeare: Hamlet

Old age should burn and rave at close of day; / Rage, rage against the dying of the light. – Dylan Thomas: “Do Not Go Gentle Into that Good Night”

But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted / Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover! / A savage place! as holy and enchanted / As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted / By woman wailing for her demon-lover! – Samuel Taylor Coleridge: "Kubla Kahn"

Things fall apart; the center cannot hold; / Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, / The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere / The ceremony of innocence is drowned; / The best lack all conviction, while the worst / Are full of passionate intensity. – William Butler Yeats: “The Second Coming”

From childhood's hour I have not been / As others were; I have not seen / As others saw; I could not bring / My passions from a common spring. / From the same source I have not taken / My sorrow; I could not awaken / My heart to joy at the same tone; / And all I loved, I loved alone. – Edgar Allan Poe: “Alone”

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright / In the forests of the night, / What immortal hand or eye / Could frame thy fearful symmetry? / In what distant deeps or skies / Burnt the fire of thine eyes? – William Blake: “The Tyger”

Though they go mad they shall be sane, / Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again; / Though lovers be lost love shall not; / And death shall have no dominion. – Dylan Thomas: “And Death Shall Have No Dominion”

101 Chapters Why Severus Snape Hates His Life – Basically, a lot of really annoying things happen to Snape, who hates everyone in and everything about his life. Voldemort and the other Death Eaters are total idiots who drag Snape into a lot of unpleasant (but amusing) situations. Bellatrix and Lucius are prominent characters, and there's a great deal of spirited (and very humorous) arguing. It's rated "M" because I have a rude, vulgar sense of humor, and I seem to think that throwing curse words all over the place is a good way to write a fic. No romance, no complicated, difficult-to-follow plot lines. And personally, I think it's funny. (But then again, I wrote it.) It's listed in several c2 communities and gets a ton of hits, but (comparatively) very few reviews. I don't really understand why. Maybe it's because it LOOKS like a really long story; actually, most of it is dialogue. But hey, YOU can help! Go read it, and instead of JUST reading it, leave a review as well! You'll be my hero. (C'mon... don't you want to be somebody's hero?)

Fridays – If you’re looking for something amusing but have a short attention span, read this. Snape goes to therapy and says (and does) some really crazy things. Oh, and he also sneers a lot. A whole lot. I intended this to be a one-shot, but after reading the reviews, I decided to continue it for awhile. Unlike my other fic, this particular story is only continued upon request, so your reviews are even more important.

The Darkness Drops Again – Okay, so this one's not intended to be funny. The story begins on the night of Voldemort’s return, and it will (ideally) end with Snape’s death. There will also be several flashbacks (especially within the first few chapters) that cover events such as Snape’s decision to take the Mark and the personal training he received from Voldemort and the other Death Eaters. (I refuse to believe that Voldemort accepted members into his ranks without teaching them a few tricks.) This is a dark fic. Although I never doubted his loyalty to Dumbledore, I don’t adopt a particularly optimistic view of Snape as a person. In my opinion, the fact that he ultimately did the right thing (and was capable of love) does not automatically make him a virtuous person. I will portray Snape as a man who was awed by Voldemort, seduced by the Dark Arts, and willingly immersed himself in an atmosphere of evil. If the level of violence in this fic increases dramatically (which it probably will), I’ll be forced to change the rating from “T” to “M.”