Disclaimer: I do not own anything written by JK Rowling (yes, that means Harry Potter)
Warning: This starts out as Harry/Ginny, so hardcore Harry/Draco fans, don't fret. It doesn't stay that way. So, since this changes to HPDM, it does contain mild slash
Humpty Dumpty (Who'll Put Me Back Together Again)
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty back together again
After my initial outburst over Sirius' death, I decided that it wasn't good to lose control of my emotions like that. So, like I always did, I shuffled off my feelings of guilt and pain into that little box in the back of my mind. It is where I keep everything bad that has happened to me: my parents' death, the neglect I received at the hands of the Dursleys, Cedric's death, and now Sirius' death.
My friends were quite concerned at the beginning of sixth year when they found that I was my usual cheerful self, and not the angry and depressed boy they had seen last. Of course, their happiness over the fact that I seemed okay caused that concern to quickly leak away. Soon enough, we were joking around and having loads of fun like we always did.
I easily managed to keep any moments of depression to myself because I did not want to hurt anyone with my problems. Luckily, these moments were short and far between, so I mostly managed to enjoy the school year.
During October, I even started going out with Ginny. I had started liking her soon after school began, and was overjoyed that her crush on me had returned. Our relationship progressed quite nicely, and it was comforting to know that I had someone who loved me. We spent most of our free time together, usually cuddling or kissing. We would also talk a lot, and soon I was telling her everything. Well, mostly everything, since I refused to open the box in the back of my mind. But she knew all of my school worries and life problems, and was very sympathetic. She even helped me work past some of my worries.
My sixth year was going great. I had great friends, a loving girlfriend, and no sign of Voldemort in a while. Heck, Malfoy wasn't even bothering me anymore! Oh, he'd make a rude comment or two in class sometimes, but otherwise, he didn't hassle me. We didn't have a single fight.
At first, that had disturbed me, that he was being so passive. But then I figured that he had probably matured with his father's incarceration in Azkaban. He was a lot quieter all around, and threw himself quite literally into his studies. It was even said that he rivaled Hermione in a few subjects.
I stopped watching Malfoy quickly enough; once I ascertained that he wasn't up to anything suspicious, and decided that I should probably start working harder on my schoolwork, as well. Hermione was quite pleased when she saw my first perfect paper in Advanced Transfiguration.
After that, she gave me more space, although I also believe that may be because she Ron started dating. They became quite the perfect couple.
It was my belief that they would get married once they graduated school and have lots of little Weasley children. I wasn't so certain about Ginny and I doing the same, although I would have liked that a lot. Lately, she'd gotten a little distant. We'd still kiss a lot, but we hadn't had any real conversations for a while. Maybe she'd gotten a little bored since I didn't want to do much sex-wise. That may sound off, since I was the boy of the relationship, but I was hesitant about going too far. It's a commitment, and with the war and everything, I was unsure about taking such a large step. Unfortunately, I didn't think Ginny understood this.
At least I knew she loved me, so I wasn't worried. She would have told me if something was wrong, right? I kept myself firmly behind this belief, thinking myself safe.
And then things began to get a little weird.
In December, on a Hogsmeade Weekend, Ginny didn't show up at the place where we were supposed to meet. After waiting an hour, I figured that something important must've come up and so I followed Ron and Hermione as they wandered the shops. At one point, I could have sworn I saw someone with long, reddish-brown hair inside Madame Puddifoot's, but when I went to look through the window more closely, I didn't see anyone with that color hair. I quickly determined that it was only my imagination and went into the Three Broomsticks with my two best friends, who admittedly, were cuddling quite romantically. Too much PDA for me, but oh well. They looked too happy for me to point that out.
That night at supper, I overheard part of a heated conversation between Hermione and Ginny. It confused me. Hermione was gripping Ginny's arm emphatically, shaking her head and saying, " . . .only going to hurt him!" Ginny, meanwhile, was scowling and declaring that, "But he's not going to find out, now is he?" Hermione looked quite put out and Ginny, triumphant. I turned away, clearly mystified. Who were they talking about?
I shoved away any thought that it might have been me they were talking about, but I thought to myself that that was absurd. Ginny wouldn't hurt me, and if she were, Hermione wouldn't go along with it. Both were too honest to do anything like that to me.
Weren't they?
For Christmas, I decided to stay at the school instead of going to the Burrow. Hermione was staying over there and she and Ron would be cuddling together most of the time, and Ginny looked a bit ill on those last few days of school, so I didn't want to bother her if she was sick. And to be honest, I didn't know if I wanted to spend all that time with her since she was becoming more and more weird. All she ever wanted to do was kiss and blatantly ignored any attempts of mine to talk. It frustrated me.
Christmas Break at the school wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, either. Not too many people stayed, and it was nice to have such a small gathering for the holiday. Malfoy stayed, too, and I found out that he had indeed changed. After avoiding each other the first couple of days, we accidentally ran into each other in the library on the day before Christmas, and found out a lot things about each other. We actually had loads to talk about, and I confess that we actually became friends.
The only odd thing about the holidays was one present I received on Christmas Day. It was an anonymous gift, and it was a sketch of Humpty Dumpty sitting on the wall before he fell. There was a note with the present, and it read:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty back together again
Be careful that you don't end up like Humpty Dumpty, but if you do, who will put you back together again? It won't be Ginny, you can be sure of that.
Serpent's Faith
I wanted to immediately disregard the note, as it a Slytherin had written it, obviously. Because who other than a Slytherin would sign it with Serpent? But instead of throwing it away, as was my first intention, I placed in the bottom of my trunk. And any worries that rose over the implications given about Ginny, I put securely in the box in the back of my mind.
Still, the identity of the mysterious gift intrigued me. The gift was a warning of some sort, but a warning for what? And why would they care enough to warn me?
At random times, for the rest of Break, I often found myself humming the children's rhyme about Humpty Dumpty. It appeared to amuse Malfoy, and so it didn't bother me that much when I caught myself doing it. His Christmas present to me had been a book lamp in the shape of a Snitch so that I didn't have to keep casting Lumos when I was trying to study spells at night, as I had been doing for years. It was very useful, and made my own present; a new book on medical Potions that he had been talking about for a while, seem a bit inferior. He didn't appear to think that, so I let the subject drop.
When the other students came back at the beginning of January, we both had to go back to hanging out with our usual friends. We still greeted each other in the hallways and sometimes met up in the library to study, but things weren't the same. Our friends from our own Houses wouldn't have approved of a close friendship. So, although I missed talking to him, I gave it up. And I really didn't have time for it, anyway, since I was too busy trying to catch Ginny alone. She was avoiding me like the plague, and I wanted to know why.
Then, Ron and Hermione's perfect relationship began to have problems. They still loved each other, that much was apparent, but Ron was clearly furious at Hermione about something, and Hermione often looked guilty and regretful. Was she cheating on him?
I was clueless, as they completely left me out of the loop, and so I could only grasp at straws. I didn't think she was cheating on him, but there was something she had done that had really set Ron off. But what?
One day, I managed to catch them arguing, but hearing what they were saying only confused me more. Ron was yelling, "It is our right to tell him!" And Hermione was adamantly shaking her head. "We can't! It would kill him!" "But it's wrong to hide something like this from him and I can't believe you've known for so long and said nothing!" They walked away from my hiding place behind a set of medieval armor, and so I couldn't hear anymore. For some reason, I was glad that I couldn't hear anymore. Who had they been talking about?
It reminded me of the conversation between Ginny and Hermione a few months back. Could Ron and Hermione have been discussing the same "him"? And really, why would Hermione be hiding something from that someone? What would hurt him so much?
Unbidden, the Humpty Dumpty rhyme floated into my head and I frowned. The rest of the letter also came into my thoughts, and I began to worry. Was it me Ron and Hermione had been talking about?
I furiously pushed that traitorous thought away and locked it into the little box in the back of my mind, safe, where it couldn't bother me. Really, thinking there was some conspiracy about my friends keeping something that could hurt me away from me. Really.
It was on Valentine's Day that I wished I hadn't locked any of my worries away into my little box. On that day, I wished that I had listened to them and confronted someone about them. But alas, I had been, yet again, the innocent and trusting fool I always was.
That morning, I woke up to find a letter lying at the bottom of my bed. After fumbling to put on my glasses, I picked up the piece of parchment and read the words scrawled there.
All the king's horses and all the king's men have been sent back to put this boy back together again, but somehow he must have been predicting the fall . . .(1)
Have you predicted your fall? I have, and I know that all the king's men and all the king's horses won't be able to put you back together again.
Serpent's Faith
This time, I crumpled up the note. Then I smoothed out the crinkles and put it with the other note in the bottom of my trunk. I couldn't dismiss the fear that this Serpent's Faith person was right. For weeks, a strange feeling of dread had been coiling through my gut, warning me that something bad was going to happen. This note only compounded that fear.
I got ready for the day, my smile forced for the first time since Sirius' death. Carefully, I watched my friends as they interacted with me. My suspicions were confirmed almost immediately and I wondered why I hadn't seen it before. Ron wouldn't look at me when he spoke to me, and the other guys always looked a bit uneasy.
Then, when I went down to the Great Hall for breakfast, Hermione also had trouble looking me in the eye. Ginny blatantly refused to look at me, even when she kissed me good morning. That little box in the back of my mind opened a little, releasing every doubt that I'd had over the past months. I didn't like what those doubts told me.
During lunch, Ginny again ignored me. She struck up a conversation with some girl in her year, gossiping about boys. None of the boys they mentioned were Gryffindors, and Ginny appeared to be fixated on some Slytherin sixth year with dark hair. She never mentioned his name, but I still looked over to the Slytherin table to search out this mysterious guy. I couldn't tell who it was, although I suspected Theodore Nott. During my scan of the Slytherins, my eye caught Malfoy's, and he sighed. His silver eyes conveyed the fact that he knew what I was doing, and knew what was happening. He looked sympathetic. I glared at him for the first time in months. What did he know of this? He didn't rise to the bait; instead he shook his head slightly and turned back to his meal.
I still did not know if Ginny truly was cheating on me, but the worry began to eat away at me. I loved Ginny, and if she was really seeing someone else behind my back, I didn't know if I would be able to handle it. If she was, Humpty Dumpty really was going to have his fall and all the king's horses and all the king's men would definitely not be able to put him back together again.
That night was the Valentine's Dance, and Ginny and I went together. She was in a white mini-dress, as red didn't match her complexion, and she looked stunning. She didn't give me a second glance; even though I was wearing an expensive, dark green silk shirt with pressed black trousers. For once, I knew I looked good, and she didn't even mention it. It both angered and disheartened me. My doubts rose again, and I resolved to find out the truth by the end of the night, even if that truth killed me.
Twenty minutes into the dance, I was standing over by the refreshments table and Ginny was MIA. A glass of punch in my hand was my attempt to look like I was having fun, being a typical guy who didn't care about the dancing or where his girlfriend was. Unfortunately, that was not how I felt.
An hour into the dance, I had gone through six glasses of punch, gone to bathroom twice, and was furious. Several times I had gotten sidelong, knowing glances that told me something fishy was going on. The fact that Theodore Nott had been missing for as long as Ginny also clued me in.
I threw away my last cup of fruit punch and stalked past the crowd of dancing students, my mind on one purpose; to find Ginny. Just as I walked through the doors leading away from the Great Hall, I caught Malfoy's solemn eyes. He knew.
It was interesting that I didn't have to go far to find Ginny. All I had to do was follow the interesting sounds coming from an alcove three corridors over to find her. At my cough, a squeak of surprise and a groan of frustration came from the alcove and the two inhabitants shuffled out. Yes. It was Ginny Weasley with Theodore Nott. Her dress was rumpled, one of the straps broken, and her lipstick covered Nott's mouth. His shirt was unbuttoned and his hair was a mess. As much of a thick-witted fool as I was, I could obviously tell what they had been doing.
Calmly, coolly, I asked the girl who eyed me nervously, "So, when were you planning on telling me, Ginny?"
She attempted to smooth down her wrinkled clothes, a habit of hers when she was anxious. "Um. I don't know."
I sighed. This was going to be difficult. I so didn't want it to be difficult. My emotions were already pulsing against the mask that I had erected to keep myself under control. "You don't know. Hmm. That's interesting. I get the feeling that these little trysts have been going on for quite a while, as it is."
Nott decided to open his mouth here, plainly disregarding the hard look in my eyes that Ginny was already noticeably worried about. "Yeah, we've been dating since the end of November. You must be an idiot if you didn't notice before this."
Yes. This was definitely going to be very difficult. I could feel my hurt-driven anger slipping through the cracks in my mask. The air around us started to pulse with magic, and I knew that Ginny noticed. She looked positively edgy as she blurted out, "I didn't mean to lead you on, but I didn't want to hurt you!"
"Oh. You didn't want to hurt me. Then what is this if it isn't hurting me? Leading me on is much worse than actually telling me the truth, Gin!" I could feel myself losing control. That little box in the back of my mind was rattling, the lock starting to splinter under the pressure my anger/pain was exerting on it.
Nott again threw in his two cents' worth. "It was great fun leading you on, though. You had no idea that Ginny and I were shagging right beneath your nose. Seeing you think Ginny still loved you was hilarious!"
Ginny had attempted to shut Nott up while he was speaking, but he didn't listen. He should have listened to her, because within moments, he was making friends with the wall, face-first. I didn't touch him, but my magic was known for getting out of hand under extreme emotional distress. I think this situation qualified as extreme emotional distress.
My girlfriend screamed and turned fearful eyes to me, worried that I would hurt her next. She needn't have worried because my anger was quickly turning to acute anguish that caused all my loose magic to disappear. My voice was broken as I told her, "I hope you're satisfied that you've caused me enough pain, because I don't think I could take anymore. We're through, and should have been through months ago, had you had the courage to tell me the truth. If you know what's good for you, you'll leave me alone for the next year and a half, because at this moment in time, I really, really hate you. Goodbye."
I walked away from her then, my steps slow and measured until I was out of her sight. Then, when I knew she couldn't see me anymore, I started running as fast as my legs could take me, tears streaming down my face. The box in the back of my mind was open, fractured beyond repair. The pain of Ginny's betrayal beat at my breast, leading the way for the agony of Sirius' fall through the Veil, the grief of Cedric's death, the ache of the Dursley's neglect, the sorrow of my parents' death defending me.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty back together again
The children's rhyme circled through my head, taunting me. Serpent's Faith had been right, oh so right. Why hadn't I listened to them the first time, all the way back in December? Why had I waited, when they had given me the key to finding out the truth?
Why had I been so blind?
I ended up in an abandoned corridor in the bottom of the dungeons, where the cold surrounded me and the silence smothered me. Alone and tired beyond belief, I sunk to my knees on the cold stone of the floor. My tears had long since ceased, and I stared the ground, unseeing. I felt dead inside, and I probably was.
After a while, how long I couldn't tell, I heard a voice coming from the shadows behind me. "Have you had your fall?"
I knew that voice, but I couldn't place it. I was so tired; all I could do was whisper, "Yes. I fell."
"Have you decided who will put you back together again?" the voice I knew I should know said.
I laughed, and it was a bitter sound. "No one can put me back together again. All the king's horses and all the king's men can't put me back together again. You said this yourself in the note this morning."
The shadows shifted slightly and I could discern certain things about Serpent's Faith. It was a male, and tall. He wore his robes, and his Slytherin emblem was evident in the dim light. But other than that, I could not tell who it was.
"But I am neither one of the king's horses, nor one of the king's men."
I scoffed at his words, however eloquent they may be. "Why would you want to put me back together again? You are a Slytherin."
He swallowed harshly, I could tell, and then he spoke, hesitantly. "I may be a Slytherin, but I am your friend. Or, at least, I was for a while."
And I knew who it was. It was Draco Malfoy. And even as I figured out his identity, he stepped out of the shadows. There was a light flush on his cheeks and he was fidgeting slightly. If I hadn't been steeped in my sorrow, I would have laughed because Malfoy never showed nervousness. Never.
I observed him, and I felt a curious emotion tug at my heart. He looked sincere, and I remembered the bond we'd had during the Christmas holidays. He had always been honest with me. Out of everyone who had ever befriended me, he was the only one who had never lied to me. Strangely, I felt a thread of happiness in my stomach when I realized he was willing to be the one to pick up the pieces of me.
"There are many pieces of me lying about. Do you think you could find them all and fit them together the way they're supposed to go?" I asked him, slowly rising to my feet.
He raised his eyebrow in a smirk that I was infinitely familiar with. "A Malfoy is always up to a challenge."
After a moment, he dropped the smirk and genuinely smiled at me. "Besides, I want to put you back together again." His earnestness touched me and I couldn't help but smile back, even if that smile was small and more than a bit watery. Out of nowhere, my tears had come back and slipped down my face.
"I guess it's okay if you really want to," I teased, taking a few steps towards him.
He surprised me by enfolding me in a tight hug, his face burrowing into the hair over my left ear. So softly that I almost didn't catch his words, he murmured, "I do, more than you could ever know."
Suddenly feeling infinitely better than I had in a while, I let him move his head so that his lips were settling over mine. It was odd, since I had never kissed a boy before, but I soon realized that it wasn't as weird as I thought it would be, and actually felt pretty good. Before long, I was kissing him back, my lips moving softly against his. He smiled through the kiss, and I smiled back. For some reason I couldn't fathom, this felt a lot more natural than my kissing Ginny ever had. And I realized that maybe, just maybe, I could immerse myself into this relationship completely. Maybe.
Although . . . that maybe was quickly turning into a definitely as we resumed kissing, this time a lot more involved. Draco sure was a good kisser, I had to admit.
And so, on Valentine's Day of my sixth year, I found someone who was willing to pick me up when I fell and put me back together again, no matter how many pieces I was in. It took a while, but Draco did manage to find all of my broken pieces and put them exactly where they were supposed to go. Our relationship wasn't perfect, because really, we were too much alike in our stubbornness to get along all the time, but it was a good relationship. There were no lies between us, no hiding of anything . . .and by anything, I mean anything, and soon we were the ideal couple that girls fawned over and guys gagged over. We were even voted Class Couple seventh year, which was quite funny, considering the fact that Draco thought it was an insult to demean our relationship into something so cheesy.
The war dragged on until well into our first summer out of Hogwarts, but on a random field in Ireland, the Order of the Phoenix and the Death Eaters met to fight it out to the end. Draco was by my side, as he had never had any real intention of joining the Skeleton-Who-Wouldn't-Stay-Dead, as he called Voldemort. Voldemort actually got to hear himself called thus, and almost blasted my lover into a thousand pieces, but I managed to kill the ugly snake before he could raise his wand. Let's just say I'm very possessive and don't like anyone messing with something that I've claimed as MINE.
Besides, I'm not the one who's good at picking up the pieces and putting them back together again. Draco is.
Influences: Silverstein (Tracks 2 and 7 on Discovering the Waterfront are about a girl who cheats on them/hurts them, and so I was inspired to write this story because of it)
A line from a Finch song on their most recent album, Say Hello To Sunshine. It also inspired this story.
The only reason I wrote this story is because I wanted Draco to pick up the pieces of Harry. I did not write it because of the Ginny/Harry, because I despise that pairing. But since that is the pairing chosen for the cannon sixth book, I decided to play around with it and make it so that Draco ended up with Harry.
Yes, I know Draco's alias he uses for the notes is kind of corny. Serpent Draco (Draconis) and Faith Malfoy (technically, bad faith)
I think I got the Humpty Dumpty rhyme right, since I wrote it down purely from memory, and my memory isn't that good, but I'd like someone to tell me if I'm off on a word or two. I won't get insulted if you do, because I really don't trust my memory.
Yes, yes, I know Draco is more than a little OOC. Let's just say his father's incarceration has freed him to mature past the bully, as Harry notices in this fic. So, I hope the OOC-ness is bearable with at least some explanation to back it up. (Yes, Harry is OOC too, but his is completely on purpose as a result of him shuffling all of his emotions into that box in the back of his mind)
Well, I hope you enjoyed this little oneshot. I wanted to write another little fic from Harry's POV, like Liquid Pools of Mercury, since I haven't done the first person POV in a while, and I hope it turned out okay. Please review and tell me what you think! Like it? Hate it? Not sure? Tell me!
Have a great day,
Roslyn.