READ PLEASE!!

I am trying, you guys. I am working on rewriting a couple of my stories. But the progress is slow. Especially with my school work. Sorry. Hope I don't keep you all waiting for too long. Thanks for your patience.

For anyone who is wondering where I disappeared to, here is your answer. I have been going through a severe depression. I still am, to some extent. And a result of that depression is that I've lost my muse. I want to write again, but as soon as I try, nothing comes to my mind and I get frustrated and give up. So please bear with me while I try to regain everything that was taken from me. I don't have any unfinished stories as of now, so I doubt this will be read, but if you do read this, thank you for your understanding, and I will try to get something out as soon as I can. But my future stories will probably be of a much darker nature than they were before.

Also, I am currently in the process of rewriting Somwhere Between Living and Loving and Life Goes On. I am hoping to rekindle some of my artistic ability that way. Also, I feel that my writing level was lower than where I am now. No set dates as of now, but the story will be revised at some point.

Hello, I'm Larka's Blessing.

I read Harry Potter fanfiction, but I enjoy the darker side of these tales.

I do read slash. It doesn't not bother me. I also write it. In my opinion, love is love, and people are damned lucky to find someone who will love them, regardless of age, religion, gender or any thing of that sort.

Now, about me. I completely believe I would be dead without my unbiological sister and brother, who I love to death, no pun intended. I owe them my life. Unfortunately, they are both gone from my life. I don't have my 'brother' in my life any more, and my 'sister' and I were fighting and I no longer trust her. Also, I've just lost my on-and-off again boyfriend/finace/crush. However, I feel a lot better without him. I think it may be possible that I have my muse back. Also unfortunately, I recently had a servere virus on my computer and have lost my work on SBLAL, which sets me back quite a bit. But I may have something new out soon. We'll see :) I am very strong minded, have a very strong sense of self, but not to a fault, and I will argue with you if I believe something you said was wrong, or offends me in any way.

Name: Kelsey
Birthday: January 12th
Birthplace: Portland, Oregon
Current Location: Vancouver, Washington
Eye Color: Sometimes brown, sometimes hazel, and sometimes brown with green in the middle (my favorite)
Hair Color: Brown
Height: about 5 foot 7
Weight: Dunno, don't care
Lefty or Righty: Righty, just like just about everyone else.
Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
What Do You Drive: Nissan Altima
Screenname: Larka's Blessing.

--Favorites--

Color: Emerald Green and dark purple
Number: 22
Band: waaaaayyyyyy too many
Music Genre: Anything except rap and jazz/classical
TV Show: Lie to Me, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Merlin, Once Upon A Time, Grimm, Naruto (occasionally)
Movie: Again, too many
Actor: Not really into any
Actress: Jennifer Lawrence
Kind of Movie: A love story, comedy, action/adventure (has to have a good plot) and sometimes tragedies. CANNOT stand pointless humor.
Napolean Dynamite-Bad
Get Smart (movie)-Good
Sport: None
Fast Food Restaurant: Panda Express
Food: Chicken Caesar Salad wrap, orange chicken
Ice Cream: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Mint Chocolate Chip, Mint, and Chololate
Cereal: Honey Nut Cheerios and Frosted Flakes
Candy: Twix
Drink: Dr. Pepper and Mt. Dew
Quote: "It's not so hard to die for a friend as to find a friend worth dying for" As well as all those stated below

--Do You--

Have any siblings: 2 brothers
Have any pets: 2 fish, 2 turtles, a dog, and a cat
Have a job: I keep score at my college's softball, lacrosse, volleyball, and basketball. And I worked at a concession stand until the season was over.
Have a cellphone: Yeah
Have any fears: A couple
Have a bedtime: No
Sing in the shower: Sometimes. Depends if I have music playing or not
Want to go to college: Yes
Get along with your parents: No
Swear: Yes. I should work on that
Smoke: Never have, never will
Drink: Never.
Do Drugs: Never have, never will

Here's to the...
Abused
Alone
Broken
Bruised
Betrayed
Deceived
Forgotten
Lonely
Naive
Neglected
Outsiders
UnlovedBut most of all, here's to the Survivors

"There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment, you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on path? Will you let others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be haunted by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or simply give up."

There comes a point in every ones’ life where you feel like you’re at "rock bottom." when you really think you can’t hit any lower. Where you don’t see the top, or a way out. Well, these moments are crucial. They show you who you are. In times of desperation, how do you act? Who is there with you? Who is pulling you out? Who is pushing you back down? Are you feeding the fire or are you putting it out? Are you stepping up and being the bigger person? So maybe you don't always make the right choice. You can't always be the better person. And maybe you make mistakes. But these mistakes are important. Looking back on them, you know what you did do, and what you didn't do, and what you could've done. Unfortunately, you learn the best from your own mistakes. And maybe, until then, you won't learn at all. In these moments you grow up a little bit. You’re finding yourself and who you are. You’re maturing into a better person, and person who rise up. Everyone loves someone that stands up after being pushed down, right? Well. Maybe not the person who pushed you down in the first place. They might keep trying to put you back there.

I’m proud of who I am. Maybe I’m not proud of every decision I’ve made in my life, but I don't regret them. Each and every "mistake" - as some people would put it - has taught me something. Something about life, love, friendship, maturity, integrity. I’ve come a long way from who I used to be, and it wasn't all up, there were downs. And there still will be, I’m aware. But who I used to be is someone I’m not proud of it. Someone who was immature, naive, a fake, a liar. I didn't know who I was or where I fit in. I did what pleased other people, and maybe not always what pleased me. But I’ve learned that it isn't okay to live life that way. I know who I am now. And I’ll fight day and night for that person. I’ll fight to be the person I want to be, the person I know I can be. It’s not easy, and I know I’ll make mistakes, and I know my immaturity will sometimes get the best of me, but at least I’m going somewhere. At least I’m trying.

An advice from a nurse:
Wounds will not heal if you urgently put band aid on it. Sometimes you just have to let it bleed, give it some space for healing. And when you think your wounds are already cleansed, that's the time you can use a band aid for it.
Remember: The more you cover yourself from pain, the more infected you are.

As human beings, we need to know that we are not
alone, that we are not crazy or completely out of
our minds, that there are other people out there who
feel as we do, live as we do, love as we do.

Beauty is not a blonde,
love is not first sight.
Respect is not a right,
knowledge is not key.
Magic is not pretend,
peace is not a paper,
and goodbye is not the end.

What I want is to be needed.
What I need is to be indispensable to somebody.
Who I need is somebody that will eat up my free time, my ego, my attention.
Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.

I need someone who can deal with me. I need a guy who will make me see things from a different point of view. I need a guy who will make me talk about things that scare me. I need a guy who will make me open up to him, a guy who won't give up on me.

I guess I should say thank you,
for cutting all my strings.
But if it's all the same to you,
I wish you'd left my wings.

A person is never as quiet or unrestrained as they seem, as bad or as good, as vulnerable or as strong, as sweet or as feisty. We are thickly layered, page lying upon page, behind simple covers. And love- it is not the book itself, but the binding. It can rip us apart or hold us together.

"You've got enemies? Good, that means you actually stood up for something in your life." -Winston Chruchill
"...Or you're an dick." -Spencer E.

Who are you to judge me? I know I'm not perfect, and I don't claim to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your own hands are clean.

Originality. Not sold in stores.

Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.

There's no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream.

I like a challenge, so challenge me. If I fight, fight me back. But it's okay to sometimes let me win. Know that I have my own mind. And so should you. Nobody likes an easy girl. Nobody likes an easy boy. Tell me when I'm wrong. Admit when I'm right. Respect me. My actions and my words. Feel free to argue, but be ready for a fight.

Just because...
I'm quiet-doesn't mean I don't have a lot to say
I'm sarcastic-doesn't mean I don't take it seriously
I forgive-doesn't mean I forget
I'm stubborn-doesn't mean I'm not easy going
I don't show my feelings-doesn't mean I don't have any
I'm not like you-doesn't mean I'm weird
I don't say I love you-doesn't mean I don't

I am a daughter, a sister, a grand-daughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend, a student, a young woman, and a grown woman. I am confident and scared, terrified and excited. I am loving and caring, thoughtful and hopeful. I am sick and tired. I am shy and friendly. I am careful and careless. I am broken and whole. I am misunderstood, misguided, and mislead. I am hardworking and determined, but a little scared on the inside. I wish on stars and dream my dreams. I pray to God and cry my tears. I smile on the outside, while I'm dying on the inside. I listen to others who won't listen to me. I walk on eggshells, I walk on fire. I believe in passion and true love. I love you and push you away. I am everything and nothing all at once. And all I want is for you to love me.

HARRY POTTER!!

I'm into THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude

I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control

I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer

I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish

I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass

I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual

I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian

I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie

I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs

I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life

I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up

I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch

I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention

I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean

I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz

I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math

I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare

I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore with a jock boyfriend

I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy

I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head

I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports

I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time

I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi

I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals

I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention

I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too

My best friend is BI, so I MUST be too.

I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist

I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd

I FROWN a lot, so I MUST have a bad life

I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try

I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans

I like to listen to HANNAH MONTANA, so I MUST be childish and immature

I am POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet

I'm a GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress

Stop stereotypes! Copy this list into your profile and add any more that you can think of.

I learned at a young age that being popular wasn't the most important thing in the world. Sure, it looked like fun, but I tried to destroy who I was to be in that popular group, and to what ends? I made myself miserable, and I lost more friends than I gained. So, I learned the value of true friends, being myself, and loving who would love me, because I am me. And it worked. I became less of a pariah, and found my niche in life. I found friends, and I found them through finding myself. So, to all the little girls dreaming of being popular, I say don't worry about it. You will become who you are supposed to be, and if that's not a popular girl, rejoice, because you will know who you are. If you do become the popular ones, think of all the girls who can't be where you are, and reach out to them. You never know who you may be saving.