Why hello! I bet if you're here you're wondering who the bloody hell I am, so I might as well tell you with a little Q and A!

Q: So, Nikki, how do you come by a name like that?

A: A lazy mother who didn't want to go through a billion names, so she chose one gender nuetral one. And it is about the sexiest thing asides from my accent.

Q: What is your accent?

A: I'm from London, can't you tell?! And we all have the sexiest accent ever.

Q: Yah, it's about time someone told you your name and your accent are about as sexy as a female stripper to a gay man. It's like, the opposite of arousing.

A: Shut the hell up! That wasn't even a question!

Q: Fine, fine. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

A: What the hell kind of a question is that?! Fine, I'd be the most unused color, white! (not to be racist)

Q: You do know you're annoying as hell, right?

A: Why yes, I do know! Now ask a fucking realistic question!

Q: Fine, fine. Do you carry a calculator in your back pocket?

A: Nope, but my mum does and it's fucking hilarious. No joke, we were at this place called 'Target' and she whipped out her calculator to figure out what pounds to dollars is.

Q: What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?

A: Um, I don't have shame or shit, so I'll just post a random list:

1. I told a homophobe that I don't smoke.

2. I freaked out when I saw a car driving on the 'wrong' side my first day in America.

3. Did the 'caramelldansen dance' when I wasn't hyper.

4. Told a person with OCD that their shoe was untied and their hair looked messy just to mess with them.

5. Told a grade obsessed bitch that she got a horrible grade compared to me.

6. Supported SakuKaku...

7. Heard the song 'Discovery Channel' and didn't die laughing.

8. Remembered to put on socks but not shoes, and accidentally made a fashion trend.

9. Told my new male friend my bra size and didn't get embarrassed.

10. Called my best friend a Japanese custodian just because my new friend called me one. No joke, she did! But she meant a British street cleaner.

11. Thought that Kisame and Kakuzu were the sexiest beasts alive and should screw each other senseless, and then voiced my opinion over the phone to one of my new friends. If that's not strange enough, she disagreed and said Zetsu should get together with Kakashi and then use Tobi as his sex slave. I rarely speak my mind after that, because she would come up with something stranger. And finally, the strangest thing, I support ZetsuxKakashixTobi.

12. Woke up in a hotel bed with my mom and didn't recognize her.

13. Called my first grade teacher a 'cadaver' for no fucking reason.

14. Got hit in the face with a cornish game hen.

15. Came up with about ninety-nine different ways to come out, and tried half of them out.

16. Called someone a fag, then told him to light his hair on fire so people would know he was a flamer. He didn't get it.

17. Had to look up the lyrics to 'Fer Sure' to make sure they weren't saying 'Betty Crocker'. Turns out they were saying something I dare not repeat.

Q:...you, Nikki, fankly, are a freak.

Ahem. Anyway, moving right along, if you read my story(s) then note that it's simply something I wrote at midnight when I felt like going nuts, or something I felt like experimenting with. I have some real stories that AREN'T fanfics, and I'll post them on fictionpress.com!

You're probably wondering what couples I support. Here's a list of what I support, and why I support it:

TobixDeidara- come on, there's nothing not to like about it!

ItachixDeidara-... hair pulling...

HidanxDeidara- they hate each other! Who couldn't love that?

SasorixDeidara- ahem... well... I actually don't know... maybe it's because Sasori technically has a dildo instead of a dick? Heh... maybe I should rate my profile 'M'...

ZetsuxTobi- Come on! Who doesn't want to see a plant man screw a 'good boy'?

TobixZetsu- Come on! Who doesn't want to see a 'good boy' screw a plant man?... I scare myself.

MadaraxDeidara- because Deidara is relatively unimportant and not exactly the strognest character, I like it when someone powerful falls for him...

PeinxKonan- You go girl! I absolutely looooooooove Konan! I'm a fucking FANGIRL! And though I would like nothing better than her to be real and totally into me...I like her with Pein. Maybe even Madara...but she totally needs to hold her own against powerful ninjas and shit!

MadaraxKonan- as previously stated in PeinxKonan...

InoxSakura- yummy...heh...Ok, I don't have a real set reason to like these two, but it's a love-hate thing!

TemarixTenTen- Come ON! Temari's SO into girls, and Tenten has a strange obsession with pointed objects...

KonanxTemari- I'm only putting this here because I accidentally put it in a story. So I guess my subconscious supported it, somewhere in my mind... I wonder if anyone else has subconscious pairings they support...

KisamexItachi- aww, I just want to huggle Kisame! He's like Itachi's seme bitch! And his ring? It's on his RING FINGER! Ahem. He doesn't have enough love...and Itachi's available as long as he's not pulling Deidara's hair...

KakuzuxHidan- Kakuzu's soooo cute! Just like Kisame, why doesn't he have more love? I think he's such a sweetie-bastard you want to hug him to death! And the freak I am, I actually did the fucking math, and the difference between their ages is 69 (XD) fucking years! And you thought SasoDei was pedophilic...

KakashixIruka- Um...wow, I'm realizing there's not a lot of reasons for all this shit...I dunno, they're teachers and shit and Kakashi's a pervert? The only problem with this couple is my random, unfounded subconscious hate for Kakashi, that randomly appeared in Read My Mind and The Luckless Liars...a total mystery...

NejixTenTen- here we go, something normal! I think TenTen deserves who she wants! (though, of course, in the normal world she wants Temari... but if she wants a man slave, be my guest.)

JiraiyaxOrochimaru- sigh here we go back to the strange pairings. And I know they're like, a million years old each.

LeexGaara- 'FUCK ME BITCH!' Oh my GOD, that says it ALL!

SasukexNaruto- I suppose I have put this here since I put it in a friggin' story. It really makes you think...do I support it just because everyone else does, or do I actually intend to like this pairing?

KisamexKakuzu- Why, you might ask? Well why not? Then Itachi and Hidan can hook up and screw Deidara...

KisamexTobi- oh God, now I'm just going bonkers! I guess I'll have to list all my Kisame pairings...

KisamexDeidara- I HAVE read that! And it IS hott! And yes, not just hot, HOTT!

KisamexZetsu- Unguided. Kisame wants to find his humanity, and can only do so when around someone even more demonic than himself. Ooh, I'm sooo good! :D

HidanxKonan- got you there, huh? And yes, I support this!

NejixDeidara- No, I am not joking! That shit actually exists! And it is hott, yes, hott!

KakuzuxDeidara- Yes, I love them! And I think there's, like, two stories like that...I could be wrong though!

CRACK TIME! (as if some of these above weren't...oh well...)

ItachixHinata- Shh, don't tell anyone!

TsunadexSakura- completely unfounded. Seriously.

PeinxPein-...yeah...we all like it, I'm just brave enough to admit it.

SakuraxKakuzu- note the placement of the names! No joke, I seriously support this coupling! I'm not just saying that! But it could only be complete crack, or else it's just dumb. You know that that means ...DOMINATRIX!!

KakashixPakkun- no comment. None at all. I really must hate Kakashi...

THREESOMES!

HidanxItachixDeidara- just a combination of hair pulling and hate. Wow, is this what love is? Nah, probably not.

AragornxArwenxLegolas- not crack, I goddamn SWEAR it! ...ok, it's crack...

LeexGaaraxSabaku- yes, even I have to admit this is crack. I haven't even READ anything like this and I like it!

ZetsuxKakashixTobi-...um...yes?

Ok, if I went on, Treebeard might just enter the picture, so it's best to stop. Oh shit, I TOTALLY have to say my FAVOURITE couple in the WORLD!

TreebeardxPip- ...I cannot justify myself. I swear I'm going to hell.

Ok, so out of all these fucking weird pairings, what don't I support?

Uchihacest- ok, like totally, if they weren't related I'd go for it. But incest is, to me, something only for royalty (joking! Just a little joke!)

Sandcest- same dealio.

DumblebuttxHagrid- ok, you either love it or you hate it, and frankly, I hate it. Enough said. One's a million year old freak, the other a half-giant who's obsessed with animals...

AnyonexSakura- ok...I'm more conscious of my hate of Sakura, as oppose to my subconscious hate of Kakashi. Maybe it all goes back to my early childhood... maybe I had a traumatic experience with a scarecrow? A mystery...

Huh, I find myself wracking my brain for any others that I don't support...

DeidaraxKisame- huh, if this ever happened, I might just shoot something cute and furry. (for those who don't pay attention to placement, this is Deidara TOPPING Kisame.)

DeidaraxSakura/Ino/Hinata- MAH?! Man, I've gotten lazy, but I don't support those...

Jeez, as long as you make it believeable, then I'll probably like it.

Now then. I have a goal: to write such a good story, yaoi haters' heads all explode. I would also like to write a story with all my favorite couples, but then Deidara would implode.

-WhirledPeace