I suppose it was inevitable that I'd get to this fandom eventually, seeing as I love it to bits. I highly doubt I can give it justice either, but I can try, right? This is going to be a collection of drabbles featuring various parings (mostly Bartimaeus/Nathaniel or Ptolemy/Bartimaeus), points of view, and situations. It will be complete when I don't feel like writing them anymore, but I promise I'll give a warning.

This one contains mild boy/boy (seeing as, inhuman as he is, Bartimaeus defines himself as a boy) but nothing explicit in the least. Set probably at the start of Ptolemy's Gate, or a little before that.

Two years

Two years.

For two years he'd gone without him, still naive in his adolescence. Two years not understanding the dull ache that persisted, though not constantly. At least not at first. The consistency came later. Not understanding his infuriation with any other demon, his infatuation with the first.

And then he'd finally had no excuse. He'd finally had a reason to summon him that couldn't be broken, couldn't be picked apart by his own self doubt. It was selfish, but it wasn't a kind of selfish that should matter. He was doing this to make himself look good to others. Not to make himself feel good.

But he did.

Two years.

He'd brought Bartimaeus back into this world, and he'd kept him there for two years. He had stronger djinni now. He had more faithful servants, less bitter ones. He had stronger ones, ones that were stronger to begin with and ones that were much weaker but had the luxury of dismissal and the ability to restore themselves. But still Bartimaeus remained. Because he couldn't let him go. John Mandrake knew that he had to keep his name safe, had to keep Bartimaeus from slipping up, from ruining everything. But Nathaniel knew that it was for that same selfish reason he'd once thought he could fight against.

Maybe if he could act on those ridiculous impulses, maybe if just once he could brush his hand across the smooth tanned face of the false Ptolemy or bury his fingers in his hair and press his face against the nape of his neck. Maybe that would be enough. Maybe then he would be able to let Bartimaeus go. Not forever of course, never for good, but just for long enough to let the fading djinni regain his strength. Maybe such contact would let him soak up enough of Bartimaeus to tide him over until he summoned him once more. Until then though, he couldn't let him go, he simply couldn't bear it. If he could just maybe…Bartimaeus slipped out of consciousness quite often now, due to his continued imprisonment, no doubt. It would be so easy to just…just once…

But he never would. And so Bartimaeus would remain with him.

For two years and two years and two years again and again and again.

Review please...