WARNING
If you have stumbled across this wind-swept, salt-earth'd, dusty patch of the internet, it could be for one of several reasons:

1) You have been threatened with being forced to watch Titanic on a continuous loop until you agreed to visit this profile.
2) You have been threatened with being forced to watch Stargate on a continuous loop until you agreed to visit this profile.
3) You have been threatened with being forced to watch Titanic and Stargate on a continuous loop - at the same time - until you agreed to visit this profile.
4)

That said, welcome! Don't let the split personalities bother you here, they just like to scare people.

A Bit About Me:

I've been writing proper since March 2005, which is (perhaps uncoincidentally) the same month I joined both this site and FictionPress. I've got several stories on the burner at the moment, though several of them are now discontinued. I'll leave them up for old times' sakes... -sniff-

A Bit About Something Else:

That new The Thing movie is terrible. Seriously. Up yours, Universal Studios. I did... things... to that Jurassic Park disc for nothing of any gain due to the lies you implanted into my brain as a child that have to be impulsed upon in place of rational thought as an adult. Terrible, demeaning things. And what do I have to show for it? Nothing. NOTHING

Stories & Status:

Just a bit about stories still being written on this site. But just mine. I already speak for five minds, I can't speak for everyone else on the site... no, I'm not going to try it. Stop forcing me

Aliens vs. Predator: Final Hunt: One of the first big stories I uploaded in November of 2005. Have been putting off writing the rewrite for years now, though when it's done it'll be put up. If you want to, or you have nothing on its plate, gaze at the prettyness of the preview. What... what? What do you mean it isn't pretty? I mean... it had writing in it! English writing. And it has people talking and a bibliography put through it. I mean... I'd gaze at it if I had nothing to do*.

Dreadnought: First foray into the darkness that is Warhammer 40,000! Apparently I'm doing a good job at it, too. Odd.

Drone: Not quite dead, but updates will be very slow for the forseeable future. May rewrite eventually, but too much effort has been poured into it to do that just yet. TOO MUCH I SAY

G:Originally written as a semi-oneshot story that could go into a much longer one. May expand it at some point in the future, so keep one's eyes peeled for it! Not literally, though. It's far too difficult to clear the blood from your eyelashes afterwards. friggin' potato peelers

(*Prettyness may involve the user's FanFiction.net page layout. Personal experiences in prettyness levels will vary from reader to reader. Use discretion when applying prettyness to eyes or permanent wide-eyed-wonder may ensue. This condition is known to be irreversably fatal.)