The following was copied from Mel1991 's profile, just a funny little tidbit, enjoy

http://www.fanfiction.ws/u/2041806/Mel1991

Things I will not do to annoy the Gods:

1. I will not send Hades a 'Wish you were here' card which shows a white beach and blue sea's

2. Send Poseidon some Fish and Chips

3. Flush my dead gold fish down the loo and pray it ends up on Poseidon's bed.

4. Tell Apollo that I've seen Hermes near his cattle with loads of shoes

5. Tell Apollo that without Hermes' help the lyre would never of been made

6. Tell Apollo his poems are so bad, they now get read out to the poor souls in the Field of Punishment

7. Sign Artemis up for on-line dating

8. Send Hermes a 'Thieves will be prosecuted' sign

9. Tell Zeus if he annoys Poseidon one more time, Poseidon will wash his palace out with sea water

10. Send Dionysus a 'Buy on get one free' on all selected wines coupon when Zeus bans him from drinking

Things I will not do to upset the Demigods

1. Ask Percy Jackson what does he and Harry Potter have in common? Your both Half-Bloods :D

2. Ask Luke why is he being such a Titan

3. Ask any demigod, when was the last time your saw your godly parents?

The following was copied from Senshi-girl's profile, hope you laugh half as much as I did when you read them

http://www.fanfiction.ws/u/1504569/Senshi-girl

Things I'm NOT Allowed to do at camp Halfblood: (thought of and published by TasteTheRainbow32)

1. I will not hug Mr. D., nor will I come into personal contact with him, whatsoever.

2. Telling campers ‘save a Pegasus ride a demi-god’ is not funny, just very dirty.

3. Telling campers ‘save a demi-god, ride a centaur’ is not permitted, and Chiron will most likely kill me.

4. Singing “Like a Virgin” in front of the hunters is not funny, no matter how many people laugh.

5. I will not give Luke a hug, no matter how much he needs one.

6. I will not sing “Hey Hade’s, you’re so Fine”, ever.

7. Referring to Mr. D. as the drunken fat guy is not permitted, and will also get me turned into a grape.

8. I will not braid Chiron’s tail and call him my pretty pony.

9. I will not ask Chiron boxers or briefs, because he obviously doesn’t wear underwear.

10. I will not point out the fact that Chiron doesn’t wear underwear.

11. I will not ask Chiron if horses do it better.

12. I will not sing “You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals, so let’s do it like they do it on Discovery Channel” to Chiron.

13. Calling Kronos a meanie-but will get me killed, and isn’t a smart idea.

14. Grover does not need to shave his legs, and I will stop saying so.

15. Juniper is not cheating on Grover with all the tree huggers at camp.

16. I will not tell Annabeth that Percy hates blondes with a fiery passion from the bottom of his heart. It’s just plain mean.

17. The goods are not bimbos or jingaloes.

18. Calling the gods sexy beasts might make them feel better, but is not permitted.

19. I will not yell out that Kronos is coming and watch every one freak out.

20. I will not tell the Aphrodite girls that Clarisse says she’s prettier than them.

21. I will not aim for the satyrs during archery.

22. I will not make pot brownies and sell them to the campers, because an A.D.H.D. kid on marijuana is just a mess.

23. Singing the Mission Impossible theme song for every quest I go on just gets annoying.

24. Correcting Annabeth is a bad idea.

25. Dumping glitter on Mr. D. and taping a note to his back that says ‘I feel pretty’, then blaming it on Percy is not permitted.

26. Telling all the gods their attack and defense points is annoying.

27. I will not dress up as a hellhound for Halloween and run around jumping on every one.

28. I will not make fun of Artemis because she looks twelve.

29. I will not steal Percy’s Minotaur horn, tape it to my forehead, and run around saying I’m a unicorn.

30. I will not start dancing on the table in the dining hall singing “La Vie Boehme” from Rent.

31. Using Annabeth’s invisible Yankee cap to give people wedgies is not permitted.

32. Travis and Cole are not ‘butt-buddies’.

33. Making enemies with the gods is a bad idea, even if it is fun.

34. Asking Rachael what the answers to the SAT are is cheating, and not permitted.

35. I will not give energy drinks to any of the campers.

36. I will not feed Grover my enemies’ clothes.

37. Percy’s nickname is not Shark Boy.

38. Despite Annabeth’s temper, her nickname is not Lava Girl.

39. Singing “Strawberry Fields Forever” in the strawberry patches gets annoying after a while.

40. I will not jump on Chiron and yell ‘Giddy up!’

Fake Friends: Never ask for food Real Friends: is the reason you have no food.

Fake Friends: Call your parents Mr/MRs Real Friends: Call your parents Dad/Mom

Fake Friends: Never seen you cry Real friends: cry with you

Fake Friends: Borrow your stuff for a few day's than give it back Real friends: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours

Fake friends:know a few things about you Real Friends: Could write a book with direct quotes from you

Fake Friends:will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing Real Friends: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

Fake friends: Would knock on your front door Real Friends: Walk right in and say 'I'M HOME!'

Fake Friends: are for a while Real Friends: are for life

Fake Friends: Will talk bad to the person who bad talks about you Real Friends: Will knock the person out that talked bad about you

Fake Friends: would ignore this Real Friends: Will send this to all their real friends and hope to get it back!

If you were killed today, I'm sorry I wouldn't be able to come to your funeral, because I'd be in jail for killing the person who killed you

Joke from one of my Guild mates on WoW

A woman walks up to a guy in the bar on the 5th floor of a big motel and says "Hello what type of beer is that?"

The man say "Watch this" The man flys out of the window and circles the building 3 times.

The woman shocked says "Wow thats crazy, give me some of that!" She drinks the rest of the drink down then says "Here I go!" She falls to her death while the man is laughing his head off.

Then the bartender says "Geeze Superman you can be a real dick when your drunk!"

The following was copied from ILove2Write13's profile, hope you love theses just like I did the first dozen times i read them.

http://www.fanfiction.ws/u/1966000/ILove2Write13

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

A friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

A friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

A friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away

A friend will help me up when I fall down. A best friend will point and laugh because she tripped me

A friend will bail me out of jail. A best friend will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up".

A friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me

A friend calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs." A best friend calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"

A friend asks me for my number. A best friend asks me for her number

A friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

A friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

A friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

A friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - dammit - run!"

A friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Why America has some issues (One thing that America DIDN’T screw up-this list)

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the drivewayand put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

Favorite Sayings:

1. Part of loving someone is knowing when to let them go...

(So true...I have to let go of the foster babies my family takes care of...but their going to a better home...I love them enough to want them to have a good life.)

2. All that glitters is never gold

3. The worst sicknesses aren't malaria or swine flu...it's the feeling of being unwanted.

4. Sometimes you have to fight...sometimes you have to give up...but sometimes it will work out on their own.

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

Mental Hospital Phone Menu:

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blond, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it!
A simple friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you.
A simple friend sleeps in with you until 2 in the afternoon. A real friend screams, "WAKE UP, FREAK!" in your ear, while laughing hysterically at 8:00 in the morning.

What a guy means, when he says some stuff-
"You know how bad my memory is!”
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned…but I forgot your birthday."

“Oh, don’t fuss, I just cut myself, it’s not big deal.”
"I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

“Take a breath honey. You work too hard.
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"It‘s a guy thing"
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"It would take too long to "
"I have no idea how it works."

"I cant find it."
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

Some hilarious quotes from SPUNKeatsLEMONSforREVENGEq's profile

http://www.fanfiction.ws/u/1735698/SPUNKeatsLEMONSforREVENGEq

Favorite Quotes:

"When life gives you lemons, write a fanfiction about them!" -Cuchilla and Delora

"More cowbell!" -That SNL skit

"If you're happy and you know it crap you hands!" -Cuchilla

"You know, the first time I realized I liked you was when you came up to me and said, 'I know this may sound weid, but that mixed berry yogurt you're about to eat is expired.'" -Pam to Jim from The Office

"And when I think that you couldn't get any stupider... you go and totally redeem yourself!" -Harry to Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd goes and trades their truck for a little motor bike.

"I'm not obsessed with Harry Potter, I'm possessed by Harry Potter." -Cuchilla when Estaban was questioning her sanity in relation to HP

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada and stuff." - Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago" - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver." - Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing." - Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

"It is white." - George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." -David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." -George Gobel

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver." -someone genius

"Violence is golden."-Cuchilla

"Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up." -someone

"Your laughing now because your older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?" -someone

"We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box." -someone

"When your in jail a friend will bail you out, but a best friend will be sitting right next to you saying "damn that was fun!" -someone

"People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people." -someone

"When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing." -someone a lot like us

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide." -someone

"Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that." -someone

"When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!" -someone

"Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers." -someone

"Life is empty and so is the fridge." -someone

"Good friends will pick you up when your down, BEST FRIENDS will push you back down and laugh." -someone

"Peace, around the world, or generations." -Fred from Youtube! If you don't know who he is, you have no sense of humor.

"We have to go to Candy Mountain, Charlie!" -Those creepy unicorn dudes from Charlie the Unicorn on Youtube.

"Eyes are the groin of the head." -Dwight from The Office

"I've never seen someone so prone to life-threatning idiocy-" Alice Cullen

"Caitlyn, stop being so loud with Twilight!" -Us, and inside joke.

"They're back!"-That girl from Polterguist, and Delora all the time

"Sarah Palin wants to shoot Jacob Black." -Delora

"You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me." -someone

"Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. Your choice." -someone

"I'm always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower." -someone

The following was copied from Psychncislover's profile,

http://www.fanfiction.ws/u/2189765/psychncislover

Chuck Norris Facts: Percabeth Style

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Percabethtatorship.

There are no steroids in baseball. Just the power of Percabeth.

A picture is worth a thousand words. A Percabeth moment is worth 1 billion words.

When taking the SAT, write "Percabeth" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

Rick Riordan once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 100 chance of Percabeth.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not a Percabeth shipper.

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And pairings that go against Percabeth."

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Percabeth.

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Percabeth never dies.

To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Percabeth.

All roads lead to Percabeth. And by the transitive property, total awesomeness.

There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Percabeth... Just kidding, Percabeth is first.

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Percabeth shippers.

Only Percabeth can prevent forest fires.

The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by a Percabeth shipper

.Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...a Percabeth shipper."

He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Percabeth … dies.

People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Percabeth.

The active ingredient in Red Bull is Percabeth juice.

Some people say that Percabeth is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead.

Found on http:///random-stuff.html

The Percy Jackson pleadge:
I promise to remember Percy
whenever Im at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesnt get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remembe Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.
yes I promise to remember PJO
wherever I may go

Random Sayings From My Life and the Non-Famous People I Know and Associate With:

"WHY BE NORMAL WHEN YOU CAN RIDE A CAROUSAL?!"

“There’s a fine line between love and hate. You’ve just got to figure out how, and when, to cross it.”

“Sometimes the things we want most are unknown to us. Or we've simply lost the ability to think of them. So our own emotions have learned to sneak up on us, then appear to make an impact, just so we could recognize them for what they are.”

“Paper beats rocks, huh? Well let's see me throwing rock at you and you defending yourself with paper.”

Anonymous Quotes:

“Anyone can achieve their fullest potential. Who we are might be pre-determined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fear or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can’t be changed, but it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.”

“Life never delivers things we can’t handle.”

“Panic is unadvised, but it is recommended.”

"We read to know we are not alone.”

“It requires a very unusual mind to undertake the analysis of the obvious.”

“I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.”

“Good friends are like stars...You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.”

“Fate works most for woe with Folly’s fairest show.”

“There’s always a choice--but sometimes, it’s just not an easy one.”

“Sometimes, you just know what’s coming next. Sometimes, you do everything in your power to prevent it. But sometimes, there is nothing you can do.”

“There’s always a choice. But how do you stop yourself from making the wrong one?”

“Understand that sometimes, you just have to let go. There’s an order to things, to life.”

“People just see what they expect to see--or what their minds can handle. Even if it’s an illusion. I suppose that’s what keeps us all from just hiding under our beds some days: our own illusions that cover the secret truths and make them easier to bear.”

“Like so many things, the cold is inevitable. It comes whether we want it to or not. But it doesn’t last forever."

“You don’t need to be imprisoned to be trapped.”

"Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies."

"When dark creeps in and eats the light, bury your fears on Sorry Night. For in the winter's blackest hours, comes the feasting of the Vours, no one can see it, the life they stole, your body's here but not your soul..."

“...you may be a sinner but your innocence is mine...”

“Because in looking so intently at what might be, you do not always see what truly was.”

“The cruelest prison is the one we build for ourselves out of fear and regret.”

“You erect these walls around us and then close us in. Especially when those we love leave us. Then the walls are too high, and no matter how hard we jump, we cannot see beyond them. Then all we have are walls falling in on us.”

“...like a stone on the water, the elements decide my fate...”

“Time weighs down on you like an old, ambiguous dream. You keep on moving, trying to slip through it. But even if you go to the ends of the earth, you won’t be able to escape it. Still, you have to go there -- to the edge of the world. There’s something you can’t do unless you get there.”

“I can talk my way into anything my heart desires -- or out of anything that’s a pain in my ass.” Gemini Mantra

“I have everything I need to create perfect balance in myself and in my world. Really, really I do. I complete me.” Libra Mantra

“Love me. Love my cat.”

“Every action of our lives touches on some cord that will vibrate in eternity.”

“Fate is what you make it, because your choices in life make your fate.”

“Changes: we all go through them; some unwanted, some welcomed. They make us who we are.”

“...when will my reflection show who I am inside...”

"People lie, stuff doesn't."

"Life is not made up of one single moment. It is made up of a gazillion moments. What matters is what you do in the next moment and the next one."

"I'm not a playa but I crush a lot."

"Every lie is built on a kernel of truth."

"How can you tell if someone is a compulsive liar, assuming their pants aren't on fire?"

"A person is much more than the tales that they tell."

"Why do boys like smart girls? Opposites attract!"

"The only thing smart about you is your mouth."

"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?"

"She has the Spirit of the sun, the Moods of the moon, the Will of the wind,"

"Forget diamonds, a girl's best friend is chocolate!"

"I'm so hot I make fire stop, drop and roll!"

"Man is a stupid creature who would rather fight then use their brains."

"Oh ye immoral man of low fiber! You should really eat more bran."

"The raven crows only at midnight. Dusk is for the rooster's cackle."

"You see, that's the thing about being crazy. You can do things other people can't."

"I decided to be and therefore I am."

"I'm one of those people that laughs at a joke three times:

ONCE when it's told to me

ONCE when it's explained to me

AND

ONCE five minutes later when I finally understand it."

"I don't get into fights...I was raised right, I talk about people behind their backs...it's called MANNERS!"

"I'm nice; you can't expect me to be organized too."

"I'm not bossy! I just have better ideas."

"When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave the world wondering how the hell you did it."

"...Who are you to judge the life I live...I know I'm not perfect and I don't try to be. But before you start pointin' fingers, make sure your own are clean..."

"Dogs have owners, cats have staff."

"We can stare into the past, but only the future is within our control."

"No one has ever defeated evil while dancing."

Love Quotes ('cuz I'm a romantic sap like that):

"What I'm saying is that maybe the best things, the richest things, aren't supposed to come easily and that sometimes the moments that make the most sense happen when everything else doesn't."

“You don’t choose who you fall in love with, you just do and you get this person who is so wrong yet so right at the same time. You know that you love them so much except they drive you completely insane and no one can explain it. The reason it’s so confusing is because it’s love, and if you didn’t have any challenges, what would be the point of love?”

“Love is a wild emotion, unbound by the limits of time and space, beyond control of even its mistress Aphrodite, and unpredictable in its coming and goings.”

“Love is as strong as death...it burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.”

“We are so different but opposites attract so my hope kept growing and I never looked back.”

“Who falls in love on purpose?”

“Go on with what your heart tells you, or you will loose all.”

“Everybody hurts you, but, by the end of the day, you stick with the one that makes the hurting worthwhile.” (A/N thx for this one night_lyx! it is soooo good!)

“Love like that is poisonous. The worst type of poison, because it feels and tastes so good.”

"He taught me how to love, but not how to stop."

“Being soulmates is involuntary—you don’t even have to like the person when you meet them. They may be completely wrong for you in every way—wrong species, wrong temperament, wrong age. But you know you’ll never be completely happy again without them.”

“...love is an Angel disguised as lust...”

“Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love.”

“Everyone says love hurts, but that isn't true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.”

“LOVE: We think about it, sing about it, dream about it and loose sleep worrying about it. When we don't know we have it, we search for it. When we discover it, we don't know what to do with it. When we have it, we fear loosing it. It is the constant source of pleasure and pain. But we don't know which it will be from one moment to the next. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define and impossible to live without.”

“Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.”

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being ‘in love’ which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”

"Don’t find love, let love find you. That’s why it’s called falling in love, because you don’t force yourself to fall, you just fall."

“But love, like life and destiny, is a funny thing.”

“Love has no schedule. And neither does lust.”

“No matter what, everyone needs love. It’s something we all crave, want, and desire. And love is love, no matter how weird it is.”

“Romance is romance, and falling in love is falling in love. Love doesn’t discriminate.”

“The heart wants what it wants, rules be damned.”

“...at least, out loud, I won’t say I’m in love..."

"Do you love me because I'm beautiful or am I beautiful because I am loved?'

"For everything you say, another piece of my heart you take."

"The strange thing about love is that it's always worth it."

"Learn to listen to your inner voice, listen to your heart."

"I think it's time I let you go. And that is so hard to do. Because some part of me will be in love with you for the rest of my life."

"...lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'..."

"My love is powerful and uncontrollable; it does what it desires. I can't stop it from loving you; I haven't got the strength."

"...I don't know what you did, but you got me to fall for you..."

"Sometimes love means letting go when you want to hold on tighter."

"We don't love the people we love because they are perfect. We love them because they are."

"The heart wants what it wants."

"Passion is a curious beast, but when we feel its pull, there's no denying its power."

"He lights a fire within me."

"...when passion's a prison, you can't break free..."

"Sometimes love means letting go when you want to hold on tighter."

"Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal."

“Love...bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

“DANCE like there’s nobody watching. LOVE like you’ll never get hurt. SING like there’s nobody listening. LIVE like it’s heaven on earth.”

“Love...There is no set path, just follow your heart.”

"Love is patient, love is kind, love does not insist on its own way. Love bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it is better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together."

"If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden."

"If you really love something, set it free. If it comes, back its yours; if not it wasn’t meant to be."

"Knowing that I will have you makes me glad; loosing you will surely make me sad. I know you don’t need me bad nor do I want you bad, its just you’re the BEST I ever had..."

“Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man's last romance.”

"When you are in love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams."

“Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never... never forget it.”

“Love is never wanting to lose faith, never wanting to give up, and never truly moving on. Love is knowing and praying in the deepest part of what's left of your heart that they feel the same.”

“Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart.”

“Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.”

"My heart is a red rose. When happy, it sparkles brilliantly. When sad it bleeds and forms a dark puddle under it. When my heart dies, the soft fragile petals fall. So you might want to put your rose in a vase."

“'Tis said of love that it sometimes goes, sometimes flies; runs with one, walks gravely with another; turns a third into ice, and sets a fourth in a flame: it wounds one, another it kills: like lightning it begins and ends in the same moment: it makes that fort yield at night which it besieged but in the morning; for there is no force able to resist it.”

“There’s a fine line between love and hate. You’ve just got to figure out how, and when, to cross it.”

“Sometimes the things we want most are unknown to us. Or we've simply lost the ability to think of them. So our own emotions have learned to sneak up on us, then appear to make an impact, just so we could recognize them for what they are.”

“Love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but jealousy sees the sharpest for it is love and hate at the same time.”

“Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again.”

“We can be everything together, wherever.”

“Maybe I was just destined to love you.”

Copy and Pastes:

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Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

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"Let's eat, grandpa!!"
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