Demented Insane Spirit (DIS)

Deviantart

My Original Fiction

RoyalRoad - user: RobotOnRepeat for my ongoing original fiction.

Mediaminer Account

The Notes Of My Heart cover art, made by me - The Notes Of My Heart

Dramione Award for Change, full list here - Best of 2009

Beauty fanart, made by NushiKasai - Beauty

A Widow's Kiss fanart, made by PandaTeddyClaws - A Widow's Kiss

Teach Me fanart, made by Djpunupipi - @naivarts on Insta

(06.18.2020)

Behold, some new reflections on old me - out of all the 151 stories that I've written, only about 20% of them are multi-chapter stories. Looking back on the chapter stories I do have make me super uncomfortable. Not until around 2010 did I even start to dive into drama/romance ones, preferring to stick to one shots. Part of me would love to delete all of the older stories because the writing is so god-awful comparatively. I remember someone reviews Whispers in the Night in 2012-2014ish and I wanted to die of embarrassment. (Why were all teenage fanfiction authors like myself obsessed with having characters raped as a plot device? Just - ugh.)

I also hate how arrogant I came off in some of my author's notes. I don't by any means think I'm an amazing writer - I feel like I have so much more room to grow, especially considering I was barely able to do full-length stories, preferring one-shots. It's a struggle even in my original fiction to finish a story. I don't know where I got off being like that, but it makes me cringe so hard and just go on a huge deleting spree.

Anyway, more thoughts of how teenage me makes me want to hide in a hole... :'D

(04.28.2020)

Most of my older projects are finished, so now I'm just getting through Teach Me and moving on from that :) the irony is like, two years ago I said I was going to retire from this site and then I ended up making a whole new fanfiction smh...

Looking back at some of my older stories - and some of my older reviews that I left - is very cringe. I went through a period where I tried to give the type of reviews I wanted (concrit) and ended up with a lot of lashback on it. I also was obsessed with getting concrit from people for awhile there to where I was becoming a bit of a review Nazi, which feels even more cringe. I feel like I lost a lot of readers for acting like that, which is unfortunate, but part of the growing pains.

Comparing my now twenties to my high school years makes me so freaking uncomfortable. I got so up on my high horse wanting to publish and demanding feedback that I had to be a little brat. Triple cringe.

Anyway, definitely not like that anymore. I just like to write for people to read. The reviews are nice to see in my email, but at the end of the day as long as people are enjoying it on their own time, that's all I care about. It is nice to get feedback on original fiction since that is a little more personal and usually helps me fix plot holes or do complete rewrites, but that's a whole other monster to tackle. I've never done rewrites on a fanfiction and doubt that I ever will, no matter how poorly written some of the older ones are.

And that's my inner monologue rant about how freaking cringe I was as a teenager that I had today with myself. Blechhh. Forgive me for being such a twat, guys. I promise I'm not annoying like that now.

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.

-Anton Chekhov