Hi! My name is Zoe. I'm not even gonna give an alias anymore because what are you gonna do? Kill me (please don't)? I like to drink too much tea and listen to too much music (I have a diverse music taste which is not currently reflected by my favorites). I also tend to binge watch tv shows. On top of that I'm one of those people who actually like to read. Here is a bit about me and the some copy-and-pasty stuff. If you want to message me feel free to do so, I love to meet new people.

Favorite books:

» Every Day by David Levithan

» Looking for Alaska by John Green

» The Scorch Trials by James Dashner

» We All Looked Up by Tommy Wallach

Favorite bands/singers/songwriters/whatever

• Fall Out Boy

• Sleeping at Last

I love music so it's a really long list, if you want to know you can PM me. I'm garbage.

Favorite songs:

» Saturn by Sleeping at Last

» Electric Feel by MGMT

Fandoms (current):

• SuperWhoLock

• Merlin

• Maze Runner

• Percy Jackson/Heros of Olympus

• Marvel

Places you can find me

tumblr - nicepipertoo

8tracks - nicepipertoo

kik - ohmyjanedoe

Instagram - atheanian_princess (personal)

tw3nty0n3pl4n3s (band trash)

p1p3r_mcl34n

That's basically a summary about me. If you wanna know anything else feel free to ask.

Time for the copy and paste stuff.

If you approve gay-marriages put this in your profile and add your name to the list:

Gaara's-pandachan101, art-is-a-BANG-2-hard-to-resist, Lee-All-The-Way, Starship13, Wistful-Dreamer, Calypphire, Shadow-Ravin, BlackPheonix913, Valerya Potter, Dowash, Phoenixsapphira, yamiyugi23,QueenOfCitrus,Vordax0110, I Still Believe In Hero's, thebookwurm,

I went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said.

You told me not to drink, Mom, so I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom, the way you said I would.

I didn't drink and drive, Mom, even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right.

Now the party is finally ending, Mom, as everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I'd get home in one piece.

Because of the way you raised me, so responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom, but as I pulled out into the road,

the other car didn't see me, Mom, and hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say,

the other guy is drunk, Mom, and now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom. . . I wish you'd get here soon.

How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom, and most of it is mine.

I hear the medic say I'll die in a short time.

I just want to tell you, Mom, I swear I didn't drink.

It was the others, Mom. The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.

The only difference is, he drank and I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom? It can ruin your whole life.

I'm feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, and I don't think it's fair.

I'm lying here here dying, and all he can do is stare.

Tell my brothers not to cry, Mom. Tell Daddy to be brave.

And when I go to heaven, Mom, put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave,

Someone should have told him, Mom, not to drink and drive,

If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom. I'm becoming very scared.

Please don't cry for me, Mom. When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom, before I say goodbye.

I didn't drink and drive, so why am I the one to die?

I saw this on a someones profile, and I cried when I read it. Hundreds of people die every day because of DWI. And most of them are teenagers. Shouldn't this

Some examples the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping.

(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:

Directions: Use like regular soap.

(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:

Serving suggestion: Defrost.

(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)

Do not turn upside down.

(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

Product will be hot after heating.

(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

Do not iron clothes on body.

(But wouldn't that save more time?Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:

Do not drive car or operate machinery.

(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:

Warning: may cause drowsiness.

(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:

Warning: keep out of children.

(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only.

(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:

Not to be used for the other use.

(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:

Warning: contains nuts.

(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

There are people in Africa that can't afford sarcasm, and yet, you abuse it.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't

forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for

the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister

is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched

Random Moment

Person: I like pie!

Person #2: I like cake!

Person: Why?

Person #2: See for yourself - gives a cake -

Person: - about to take bite -

Person #2: CAKE BOMB

Person: WHAT THE FUC-- *BOOM*

Person #2: *laughs like a maniac* that never gets old :) they fall for it everytime.

(((((True love))))) A guy and a girl were riding on a motorcycle... Girl: slow down I'm scared. Guy: no this is fun. Girl: no it's not please it's way to scary!Guy: then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you now slow down. Guy: now give me a big hug. She gave him a big hug. Guy: can you take off my helmet & put it on yourself? it's bothering me.

-In the newspaper the next day a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live even if it meant that he would die. If you would do the same for a person you love then copy this into your profile.

When life gives you Lemons

When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? Who likes lemons?

When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, sit back and watch the world wonder how.

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

When life gives you lemons,make apple juice,then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

When life gives you lemons, chunck them at the people you hate.

When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!

When life gives you lemons squirt them in life's eyes, then run far, far away.

25 Reasons I owe my mother.

1. My mother taught me to APPERCIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into next week."

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORSIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about,"

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about weather.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

10. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck."

11. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

" You'll sit there until all that spinich is gone."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a millon times. Don't exaggerate."

13. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

16. My mother taught me about about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing you eyes, their going to freeze that way."

18. My mother taught me about RECIEVING.

" You are going to get it when we get home."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold."

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come crying to me."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut the door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

" When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth

I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have! ( I don't really have ADD )

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

You call me a B--ch well a B--ch is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

It's all fun and games until someone get hurt...then its hilarious.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Never go to bed angry, stay up and plot your revenge.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

The more I learn, the less I understand.

"My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone."

"If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?"

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

Funny Quotes:

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.

When life gives you lemons... MAKE YAOI!

If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the hell is happening.

When life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours.

There are plenty more fish in the sea, but who wants to go out with a fish?

Some people are like a slinky. They have absolutely no use; but you can't help smile, when you see one fall down the stairs.

Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?

Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING.

MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!

God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I?

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love

Six hours later, I still hadn't managed to write a full sentence for the paper due the next morning. However, I did win 7 out of 245 games of Solitaire.

A Tragic Story:

Her name was Auroura She was only five This is what happened When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk her mom was an addict her parents kept her Locked in an attic

Her only friend was a little toy bear It was old and worn out and had patches of hair

She always talked to it when no one's around She lays there and hugs it not a peep of sound

Until her parents unlock the door some more and more pain she’ll have to endure

A bruise on her leg a scar on her face why would she be in such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear And softly cries She loves her parents But they want her to die

She sits in the corner Quiet but thinking, " God, why? Why is My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life For a sad little kid She'd get beaten and beaten For anything she did

Then one night Her mom came home high The poor child was hit and slapped As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly Grabbed for a blade It was sharp and pointy One that she made

She thrusted the blade Right in her chest, " You deserve to die You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out Leaving the girl slowly dying She grabbed her bear And again started crying

Police showed up At the small little house They quickly barged in Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly Opened a door To find the sad little girl Lying on the floor

It must have been bad To go through so much harm But at least she died With her best friend in her arms

If you hate child abuse, you will re post this on your profile. Do it now!

Justin Bieber falls off a building. 90% of the girls are crying. 9% are watching while eating popcorn. 1% are pushing Justin off the building. If you are part of that 9 or 1%, copy and paste this into your profile. (I'm Part of the 1%)

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen.

Crazy is when you have a post-book comatose state after reading a book and then half an hour later are spouting off random quotes, character facts and character descriptions to people you know don't give a (inert swear word of choice). If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, ihatejacob1, Blondejoke101 MyBFCanSparkle, Rockyrocks919 xXxDaughterofAthenaxXx, daughterofhades5565,darkangelxx22xx,Thalia101,Aguilita Cruz, LuvPercy782347213, I Still Belive In Hero's

THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR WHILE UNDERGOING SURGERY:

1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."

2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."

3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness

4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"

5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"

6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingy."

7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."

8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"

9. "Damn, there go the lights again..."

10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."

11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?"

12. "Ooooops!"

Him: What time should i ask to be home?
Her: Never.
Him: Deal. . . think mom'll go for it?
Her: If not, I'll kidnap you.
Him: Its not kidnapping if i go willingly
Her:...pretend to fight me then!

I love him,
oh yes
i
do..
He's for
me
and not for
you
so if by chance
you
take
my place...
i'll take
my
fist and smash
your
face

he Said "i love you" and i sneezed and said "ohh sorry;; But im Alergic to :.B.u.l.l.s.h.i.t.

I have skittles in my mouth... wanna taste the rainbow?

GUY: you look familiar
GIRL:really?
GUY:yeah but idk where i saw you
GIRL:oh you probably just looked up beautiful in the dictionary

If nothing lasts forever, can i be your nothing?

I wear black because it blends well with my soul.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

The words 'Can you get up and do this simple thing for me?' never seem to register in my brain.

I Googled you today and I'm disturbed with what I found.

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Kids Are Quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLEN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLEN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

Dear 6,
Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things.
Sincerely, 7

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely, Unicorns

Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely, Canada

Dear Impossible,
Screw you. I just made a campfire underwater.
Sincerely,
Spongebob

Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it!

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

I have PMS and a gun... now what were you saying?
Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete
I write for the same reason I breathe; if I didn't I would die.
Shit happens. But mostly to me, so don't worry
If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because you're a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, put this into your profile.
You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had