Mew Mew White Tiger

age 15

female

favorite anime's/manga's:Hetalia, Ouran Highschool Host Club, Inuyasha, Tokyo Mew Mew, Kuroshitsuji, Vampire Night, Full Moon Wo Sagashite, Fushigi Yuugi, Ranma, Tales of Symphonia, Sailor Moon, Rosario Vampire, Mermaid Melody, Princess Tutu, Kamichama Karin, Chobits, Chibi Karin, Mamotte! Lollipop, KHR, Shugo Chara, ect.

The white man said, "Colored people aren't allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said, "Listen sir...when I was born I was Black, when I grew up I was Black, when I'm sick I'm Black, when I go in the sun I'm Black, when I'm cold I'm Black and when I die I will be Black. But you sir, when you're born you're Pink, when you grow up you are White, when you're sick you're Green, when you're in the sun you're Red, when you're cold you're Blue, and when you die, you will be Purple. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man turned around and sat down, and the white man walked away...

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(Don’t cheat--)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If you’re initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose... California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose... Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!

My favorite pairings:

Katekyo Hitman Reborn (poor Tsuna)

G27= Giotto X Tsuna
1827= Hibari X Tsuna
6927 =Mukuro X Tsuna
182769 = the famous tuna sandwich
D27 = Dino X Tsuna
1869 = Mukuro X hibari
10027 = Byakuran X Tsuna
5927 = Gokudera X Tsuna
R27 = Reborn X Tsuna
All27 = LOL the Tsuna bicycle
X27 = Xanxus X Tsuna
S27 = Squalo X Tsuna
4827 = Spanner X Tsuna
B27 = Belphegor X Tsuna
C27 = Colonello X Tsuna
F27 = Fon X Tsuna
1927 = Yamamoto X Tsuna

Kuroshitsuji
Ciel x Alois ushishishi

Ciel x Claude sorry

Ciel x Sebastian

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. (why wait that long)

2. Thou shall not do drugs. (alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper)

3. Thou shall not steal from K-mart. (Walmart has a bigger selection)

4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism. (destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)

5. Thou shall not steal from your parents. (everyone knows grandma has more money)

6. Thou shall not get into fights. (Can't fight anyhow...just start them)

7. Thou shall not skip class. (just take the whole day off)

8. Thou shall not strip in class. (Hooters pays more.)

9. Thou shall not think about having sex. (like Nike says, "Just do it.")

10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street. (just leave em' in the middle)

There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished that her dad would come home from the army, because he'd been having problems with his heart and right leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes later), the doorbell rang, and there her Dad was, luggage and all!!

I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been having trouble in my job and on the verge of quitting. I made a simple wish that my boss would get a new job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55 there was an announcement that he was promoted and was leaving for another city. Believe me...this really works!

My name is Ann and I am 45 years of age. I had always been single and had been hoping to get into a nice, loving relationship for many years. While kind of daydreaming (and right after receiving this email) I wished that a quality person would finally come into my life. That was at 9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM a FedEx delivery man came into my office.He was cute, polite and could not stop smiling at me. He started coming back almost everyday (even without packages) and asked me out a week later. We married 6 months later and now have been happily married for 2 years.

What a great email it was!!

Just scroll down to the end, but while you do, think of a wish. Make your wish when you have completed scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the number of minutes it will take for your wish to come true. are 25 years old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish to come true).

Go for it!

SCROLL DOWN!

STOP!

Congratulations! Your wish will now come true in your age minutes.

Now follow this carefully...it can be very rewarding!

If you repost this within the next 5 min. something major that you've been wanting will happen.

This is scary!

The phone will ring right after you repost!

How To Tell if You're Obsessed With Anime

You know you're obsessed with anime when...

. You think about it 24/7 (Every second, every minute etc.)
. It's ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT anymore. (Seriously people, 24/7!)
. The first thing that you think about when you wake up is your fave anime show/character.
. You have dreams about your favoutrie anime show/characters.
. You pray that anime was real so that you could somehow (hopefully) meet up with your favourite character(s) and become their friend/bf/gf.
. You sing along to anime OPs/EDs/ theme songs.
You download japanese songs to your iPod/MP3/Phone.
. You have more than 20 japanses songs on your iPod/MP3/ Phone/
You use japanese language in your sentences, CONSTANTLY!
. You sometimes act like an anime character during your daily life.
. You Cosplay.
You copy their lifestyle. (Eat ramen, use chopsticks to eat, sit on the floor)
. When you wish that your favourite anime was real and that you and your life were involved in it, BIG TIME!! Actually, you would be the protagonist!
. You write fanfiction about your favourite anime/ anime couples.
. You are MADLY IN LOVE with one of the anime guys/girls.
. You begin to want a bf/gf that look similar to an anime character. (Silver hair, odd eyes, etc...)
. You dream about your anime love/crush 24/7.
. You include yourself in your fanfics., starring your favourite anime characters.
. You know you can't go 5 minutes without thinking about anime or doing something anime realted. Hell, you can't even go 5 seconds!
. You devote most of your time/life to anything anime related.
. You're bedroom is covered in anime related things. (Posters, bed covers, plushies etc...)
. You create a fanclub full of people (including youself) that love a specific anime or anime character.
. You are the president of 'said' fanclub.
. You imagine your favourite anime character(s) at your school, in your classes, and basically in your life!
. You day dream in class about hot anime guys/girls.
. You get distracted in class by an anime related dream.
. You create movies about your favourite anime show/character(s).
. During class, whenever your teacher's talking, all you hear is blah, blah, blah because you're so busy daydreaming about anime. When you wake up from said dream because the teacher wants you to answer a question, you're stuck because you weren't paying attention.
.Whenever you greet people, you say 'konnichiwa!' or 'Ohayo!'
. You learn the dance of famous dances and perfrom them. e.g 'Hare Hare Yukai' 'Lucky Star dance'
. You seem to want to try japanese food. e.g. noodles (Ramen), rice.

Note the ones in bold are the ones I do.

5 Truths of Life.

1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue

2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, try it

3. The first truth is a lie

4. You're smiling right now because you know you fell for it... (Idiot!)

5. You still have a stupid smile lingering on your face

Now, if you fell for it (I KNOW you did), copy & paste this into your profile.

Oh well… I already knew I was an Idiot...

Copy and paste section

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If there are times when you want to annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you hate child abuse and want it to STOP, copy and past this on your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz,sk8rchickmax, hinoru 14, SassySaku, CommitedToKiba, moonlightfloweryuen, Takara Yume, Mew Mew White Tiger

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate fudge instead!

If you are a die hard yaoi fangirl/fanboy, then hurry up and copy this to your profile!

If you have a tendency to talk to your self, copy and paste this into your profile

If reality continues to ruin your life, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe that fan clubs are the legal way to stalk someone, copy and paste this into your profile

I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed.

Things that can piss you off

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake if you can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?

When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dick nose, I paid 9.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the fucking ceiling up there. What did you come here for?

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?

When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole, you fucking pulled me over.

When people say "Life is short." What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What? Are they going to fucking do something that's longer?

When people ask "Can I BORROW a piece of paper?" Sure, but please don't return the favor! It's on god damn piece of paper!

When you are waiting for the bus and someone ask you "Did the bus come yet?" If the bus came I would not be standing here asshole!

Favorite Quotes:
"Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap the motherfucker upside the head..." - Anonymous

"Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard, be evil."

"Be optimistic. The people you hate will eventually die."

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

female come backs pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost this... If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads. SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: Go on, dont be shy. Ask me out! SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd die laughing.

HE: Where have you been all my life? SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.

HE: I think I could make you very happy SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me? SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Hi, Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE: Can I buy you a drink? SHE: Actually, I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours. SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful? SHE: I must've been given your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this saturday? SHE: Sorry, I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Can I have your name? SHE: Why? Dont you already have one?

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks" GUYS REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things

Men Are Like...

men are like coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

men are like computers. Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like...Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table.

Men are like...Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like...Bike Helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

Men are like...Government Bonds. They take so long to mature.

Men are like...Parking Spots. The good ones are taken and the rest are too small.

Men are like...Copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Men are like...Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like...Bank Accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

Men are like...High Heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like...Curling Irons. They're always hot and they're always in your hair.

Men are like...Mini Skirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

Men are like...Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like...Department stores. Their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like...Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like...Chocolate bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like...Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like...Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like...Plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Men are like...Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you.

Men are like...Parking spots. The good ones are already taken and what's left is handicapped.

Men are like...Snowstorms. You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long he will last.

What should you give a man who has everything?

A woman to show him how to work it.

How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that make dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.

How do you save a man from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

We don't know, it's never happened.

Why are men like tile floors?

If you lay 'em properly the first time you can walk all over 'em for years.

What do you call a man with half a brain?

Gifted.

Why do men become smarter during sex?

Because they're plugged into a genius!!

Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends

List Your 10 Favorite KHR Characters (dis is hard)

1.Mukuro
2.Hibari
3.Reborn
4.Xanxus
5.Belphegor
6.Flan
7.Tsuna
8.Byakuran
9.Gokudera
10.Colenello

Q1: Would 5 and 7 make a good couple?
HELL YA. XD

Q2: 2 is walking home alone, who is more likely to jump out at him/her? 8 or 3?
hmm Byakuran would probably be the one that try to jump Hibari

Q3: How sexy is number 1?
he is sexy beyond words *has nose bleed*

Q4: If 8 likes 6 and found out 3 likes 6, what would 8 do to 3?
um i dont see that happening but i guess try to kill reborn so he can have Flan all to himself. (though byakuran would probably fail)

Q5: 9 walks in on 10, 4 and 2 having sex. What does 9 do?
it turns him on so he goes and rape Tsuna

Q6: Oh, look! 2 is stripping; what does 1 do?
RAPE!!!!! XD

Q7: 7 takes 3 out on a date, how does it go?

Reborn makes Tsuna do a bunch of crazy shit which leads to 27 getting raped XD

Q8: Make up a summary using the pairings 6/3 and 4/2.
the fuck!!! um ok Mukuro pisses of Reborn so to get back at him he rapes his student Flan? and, Xanxus and Hibari realize they both have something in common, they love to fight. the two began to fight and they get turned on and this leads to that and that leads to this and in the get they end up having hot fiery sex all night

Q9: What would 2 and 5 do if they found out 2 had a baby?
um uh ok um... fuck... Belphegor would uh... uh... they would have sex again!!!!!!

Q10: How famous is 4?
he's the fuck leader of the Varia and he's HOT!!!!!!! XD

Q11: Does 7 have a secret crush on 10?
hehehe yes Tsuna loves Colenello hehehe *v* *has dirty thoughts*

Q12: If 1 had to get laid, would he do it with 2, 5 or 9?
he'd rape Hibari.

Q13: Suggest a hurt/comfort title for 10/4
the fuckin' hell is dis shit!!! Colenello asked Tsuna out and gets rejected so Xanxus tells him to suck it up and rape who ever it is. Colenello agrees and once Xanxus finds out it was Tsuna who was gonna get raped he joins Colenello and they have fun raping Tsuna in their little threesome. tehe

Q14: What song suits 8 the best?
Perfect world duh its his own song -_-

Q15: 6 just died, who cares?
Belphegor he lost his lil' uke. and Mukuro deep down would to. and me. and in the twisted world i call my mind Tsuna would to (0o0)

Q16: Would 2 and 3 make out?
no. -_-

Q17: Do any of your friends ship 6/8
no. -_-

Q18: How far would 1 go with 4?
uh posses him and use him to kill Tsuna's guardians so he can have Tsuna. (ima all27 fan)

Q19: If 9 had a fetish, what would it be?
Tsuna (0o0)

Q20: 4 just caught 2 masturbating. What does 4 do?
call him pathetic. -_-

Q21: 10 just caught 4 naked! Does he/she like what they see?
he would turn red and studder and run away

Q22: What would 9 do to 1 if they were alone with a box of sex toys?
well Gokudera would try to run but Mukuro would catch him and rape him -_-

Q23: 7, 2 and 5 are all having sex, who is most likely to join in with them: 1 or 8?

BOTH *drools and has massive nose bleed*

Q24: 2, 4, 6, 8 and 10 are all in maids outfits, which one would 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9 most likely to rape?
well shit even though hes not in a maid outfit gokudera and a few others would rape him. mukuro would rape the most i think.

Q25: Would any of your friends draw 1/2/5?
nah i would draw it but i'm crazy (0o0)

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

Controversial Issues:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage!

Missing Spouse

Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station,
along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband
was missing.

The policeman asked for a description of the missing man.
The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes,
dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds,
is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."

The next-door neighbor protested,
"Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, has a big mouth,
and is mean to your children."
The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"

The Touching Speech

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter,
ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to
carry them all, so they decided that one had to drop off.

Otherwise they were all going to fall.

They were not able to choose that person, but
then the woman made a very touching speech.

She said that she would voluntarily let go of
the rope, because as a woman, she was used to
giving up everything for her husband and kids,
and for men in general, without ever getting
anything in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men
started clapping their hands...

Theories

We've all heard the great philosophical theory concerning an empty forest
and a tree falling, well here's another : if a man is openly expressing
an opinion, and there's no woman around in earshot, is he still wrong??

Ladies Night Out

Last night, my friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!

Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She called the guy back, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek. In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the $50 bill. I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again. My relief was short-lived.

Seeing the way things are going, the guy gyrates over to me!!! Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the guy is egging me on to try to top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do????

The woman in me took over! I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt, grabbed the eighty bucks, and went home.

NOTICE: Classes for men at our local learning center for adults will be starting soon. Sign-up by August 30th.

Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants each.

Topic 1 - How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays. Step-by-step, with slide presentation.

Topic 2 - The Toilet Paper Roll: Do They Grow On The Holders? Round table discussion.

Topic 3 - Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat Up And Avoiding The Floor/Walls And Nearby Bathtub? Group practice.

Topic 4 - Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper And The Floor. Pictures and explanatory graphics.

Topic 5 - The After-Dinner Dishes And Silverware: Can They Levitate And Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on video.

Topic 6 - Loss Of Identity: Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Helpline support and support groups.

Topic 7 - Learning How To Find Things, Starting With Looking In The Right Place Instead Of Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open forum.

Topic 8 - Health Watch: Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and audio tape.

Topic 9 - Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost. Real life testimonials.

Topic 10 - Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly As She Parallel Parks? Driving simulation.

Topic 11 - Learning To Live: Basic Differences Between Mother And Wife. Online class and role playing.

Topic 12 - How To Be The Ideal Shopping Companion. Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

Topic 13 - How To Fight Cerebral Atrophy: Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries, Other Important Dates And Calling When You're Going To Be Late.

Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued to the survivors!

34 Great Reasons To Be A Man.

Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds know stuff about tanks.A five-day vacation requires only one can open all your own jars.Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you can go to the bathroom without a support don't have to learn to spell a new last can leave the motel bed can kill your own get extra credit for the slightest act of plans take care of themselves.If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.If you are 35 and single, nobody notices.Three pairs of shoes are more than don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is mechanics tell you the can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."Same work...more pay.Gray hair and wrinkles only add dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 don't mooch off other's can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just
might become lifelong friends.Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"You are not expected to know the names of more than five don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe don't have to shave below your neck.Your belly usually hides your big wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all can "do" your nails with a have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

Now, here are 37 things you must do in an elevator before you die. Or after. It really doesn't matter so long as you do them:

1: Walk on, and then say, "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

2: When the doors close, reassure everyone. "Don't worry, they open up again."

3: As soon as the doors close, say in a deep demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

4: Grin stupidly at another person, then when they start to look uncomfortable, say, "I have new socks on."

5: Take your shoes off as you enter the elevator, and act disgusted that nobody else does.

6: Let your cellphone ring. Don't answer it.

7: Ask, "Did you feel that?"

8: Dress in a black cloak with a high collar and hood. During the trip, stare and say in a deep voice, "It is time."

9: Carry a cooler into the elevator that reads, "Human Head."

10: Stand in a corner grimacing, then slap your forehead and mutter, "Shut up, all of you, just shut UP!"

11: Pretend to be a flight attendant and go over safety and exit procedures.

12: In the dead silence, ask the other passengers, "Was that your beeper?"

13: When people get on, shake their hand, greet them warmly, and tell them to call you Admiral

14: When arriving at your floor, pretend to struggle to open the doors manually, then act embarrassed when they open on their own.

15: Stare at another person in horror, then yell, "You're one of THEM!" and back to the other side of the elevator.

16: Draw a chalk square on the ground and tell the other passengers, "This is my personal space."

17: Stand motionlessly in a corner facing the wall. Do not talk to anyone, and do not get off the elevator. (See how many people deliberately stay on a long time just to see when you will get off.)

18: Drop something. When somebody else leans down to pick it up, scream, "That's MINE!"

19: Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let them close, turn to the person next to you, and say, "Hey, -insert name here-, how's your day been?"

20: Try to make personal calls on the emergency telephone.

21: Offer to push buttons and then push the wrong ones.

22: Say, "I wonder what these do?" and push all the red buttons.

23: Bring a camera and take pictures of everybody in the elevator.

24: If you have a briefcase/suitcase/purse/bag that must be opened, open it a tiny bit and ask, "Got enough air in there?"

25: Make car noises whenever the doors open/close.

26: Say, "DING!" at each floor.

27: Ask somebody which floor they want. No matter what they say, give them a shocked look and say, "You should be ashamed of yourself!" Until one of you gets off, glare at them and make little disgusted noises.

28: Tell people you can see their aura.

29: Make obnoxious little noises occasionally.

30: Make explosion noises whenever anyone pushes a button.

31: When people are getting on, whisper, "Hide it-quick!", then act overly nonchalant.

32: Yell, "Group hug!", then enforce it.

33: Swat at imaginary flies.

34: When only one other person is on the elevator with you, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.

35: Ask somebody which floor they want. Then, ask in "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" style, "Is that your final answer?"

36: Congratulate everyone for being in the same elevator with you.

37: As you reach your floor, get very emotional. Hug everyone and tell them you will never forget them.

Hi Mew Mew Panda-Chan