Name: Call me Lali, babes

Age: C L A S S I F I E D I N F O R M A T I O N

Hometown: Europe, but now in the US

Self-Classification: Procrastinator. Professional Slacker. Part-time Perfectionist. Dog Lover. Cat Lover. Sun Shy. Trend-challenged. Sock footed. Mushy. Chilled. Summer Despiser. Book Devourer. Believer. Pessimistic Realist. Occasional Bi-Polarity Victim. Star Gazer. Brain Farticus. Writer.

Interests/Fandoms: Oh, where to begin? There's Harvest Moon, NCIS, The Mediator series, Gakuen Alice Academy, Fruits Basket, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Ouran High School Host Club, Zero no Tsukaima, Harry Potter, Nightmare Inspector, Castle, Criminal Minds, Bones, The Gates, Avatar the Last Airbender, Psych, Body of Proof, Cats (the Musical), and a lot of others... I'll add on when I come up with something.

--Harvest Moon/Rune Factory Games I've Played (but not necessarily finished):

-- --[More] Friends of Mineral Town

-- --Harvest Moon DS [Cute]

-- --Island of Happiness

-- --A Tale of Two Towns

-- --Magical Melody

-- --Tree of Tranquility (barely)

-- --Animal Parade (barely)

-- --Rune Factory 1/2/3

-- --Rune Factory Frontier

-- --Rune Factory: Tides of Destiny

Reading: I will read for the majority of what you see above, although I've "outgrown" some and lost interest with others (yes, they are two different things). I'm willing to give almost everything a try, even if I have some sort of dislike for one thing or another. If something is suggested to me, I will give it a try, but I may not finish it if it bugs me too much. I do, however, try to finish everything otherwise. It took me eight tries to read Pride and Prejudice, and I'm glad I did it.

Writing: I've found recently that most of my ideas are coming from the Harvest Moon fandom, although I'll probably stick another thing here or there. I used to favor writing longfics (although I rarely --ehemneveronthissiteEHEM- finished one), but I've lately gotten into the business of oneshots. I have one AU MFoMT longfic in the planning stages at the moment.

Reviewing: I try to review almost everything I read, especially if there's something that jumps out at me--good or bad. I believe that reviews should be earnest, not just fangirly (although I've probably strayed from this once or twice or many more times, to my embarrassment), and they should aim to help the writer improve or continue to do well. Flames are good only for candles and campfires. It's unlikely that you hated everything about a piece, so share what you did enjoy.

Other:

CATS WAS ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!

I hate school. Seriously.

ON CRACK PAIRINGS (Harvest Moon only) -- maybe more coming

I LIKE (when written well):

--Kai x Mary

--Kai x Elli

--Carter x Sasha

--Lillia x Zack

I AM NOT A FAN OF (unless written well):

--Kai x Karen

--Popuri x Gray

ON CANON PAIRINGS (Harvest Moon only) -- maybe more coming

I LIKE (when written well):

--Gray x Mary

--Kai x Popuri

--Ann x Cliff

I AM NOT A FAN OF (unless written well):

--Elli x Doctor

ON MARY SUES GARY STUS

"Her only flaw was her perfection."

If you think about it, the above statement is an oxymoron, or perhaps a paradox. After all, if you have flaws, you can't be perfect. if you are perfect, you can't have flaws. And, of course, some people don't believe in perfection at all.

By that definition, a Mary Sue or Gary Stu might be completely nonexistent.

However, there are more things to consider. From what I've seen, a Mary Sue makes friends with everyone the writer likes, righteously hates everyone the writer dislikes, succeeds at almost everything, fails adorably at only a few things, is better than the best at what they're best at, and is the object of affection of all the possible boys/girls. Chances are, she'll have a tragic past. Chances are, she's a relative or friend of an existing character, as well as being exotic in some way or other. It's a writer insert, sans major flaws, with a few appealing additions. A Mary Sue is a flat character.

Writers, if they care about their writing, try to make round characters. The tragic past and exotic traits are failed attempts. Sometimes, if written very well, they do succeed--but then you don't have a Mary Sue anymore.

But then, there is another question. Can a Mary Sue have flaws?

Oh, and another: Can a canon character become a Mary Sue?

A Mary Sue is defined differently by almost all people. Chances are, the definitions will have a few things in common. The thing is, what Person A considers a Mary Sue, Person B might find as a very original, very interesting character--and vice versa. They exist, but with reservations. Just makes me curious: what sort of line would other authors draw?

Personally, I'm fond of the Mary Sue Litmus Test found on springhole . net which you can find by googling the title.

A group of unicorns is called a blessing.
Twelve or more cows are known as a "flink."

A group of frogs is called an army.
A group of rhinos is called a crash.

A group of kangaroos is called a mob.
A group of whales is called a pod.

A group of geese is called a gaggle.
A group of ravens is called a murder.

A group of officers is called a mess.
A group of larks is called an exaltation.

A group of owls is called a parliament.

An Awesome Poem/Story

...Girls
...are like
...apples on trees.
...The best ones are
...at the top of the tree. The
...boys don't want to reach
...for the good ones because they
...are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
...Instead, they just get the rotten apples
...from the ground that aren't as good,
...but easy. So the apples at the top think
...something is wrong with them, when in
...reality, they're amazing. They just
...have to wait for the right boy to
...come along, the one who's
...brave enough to
...climb all
...the way
...to the top
...of the tree.

Post this in your profile if you wish guys would climb to reach for you

OR OR OR OR OR OR

If you think it makes a good point and encourage guys to work harder

A Poem Written by a Cancer Victim:

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask "How are you?"
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift...
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

Post this in your profile if you totally agree with this point.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit

Repost this if you have a best friend that fits the above at least 5 times

STEREOTYPES THAT JUST SUCK

the bolds are me. bold yours separately

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told).
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE... So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo, not very good at it, kind of hate writing.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.

Repost if you totally hate stereotypes

Sipping Vodka

At his first mass, the priest was so nervous he could hardly speak. After, he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, “When I’m worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I placed a glass of vodka beside the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”

The next Sunday, the priest took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He then proceeded to talk up a storm. Returning to his office after the mass, he found the following note taped to the door:

1 Sip the vodka, do not gulp it.

2 There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3 There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4 Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5 Jacob wagered his donkey. He did not bet his ass.

6 We do not refer to Jesus Christ as “the late J.C.”

7 The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.

8 David slew Goliath. He did not kick the shit out of him.

9 When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, do not say he was stoned off his ass.

10 We do not refer to the cross as “the Big T.”

11 When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper, he said, “Take this and eat it, for it is my body.” He did not say, “Eat me.”

12 The Virgin Mary is not called “Mary with the Cherry.”

13 The recommended grace before a meal is not, “Rub-A-Dub-Dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God.”

14 Next Sunday, there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter’s. There will not be a Peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.

The origination of this letter remains unknown.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You zone out even with other people.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

You're profile is REALLY long.

Your computer runs out of memory.

You can't stop writing!

Your parents take away your computer, and you almost die. Literally.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

Put this on your profile if you're an author! :D

On the Topic of Insanity...

not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
not talk to fictional characters in public.
not answer fictional characters in public.
4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5. Do not go out in public without a scythe.
6. Disregard above note. Perform numbers 1 to 4. Take note of 18 first.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers you know.
12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all!
13.For legal purposes be sure to delete/eat/burn above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill them for security purposes. Unless they are mad.
16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.
17.Make a scene whenever inhumanly possible.
18.The men in white coats are not your friends. Especially if they are from Itex.
19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.
20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket and sunglasses.
21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best for drowning in. Try lemonade.
22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing. Pyromania rules.
23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.
24.Always remember, um... um... Damn. Something.
25.Train army of flying monkeys, or kidnap the flock.
26.Goldfish don't like milk. Cats like both.
not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.
28.Find out who invented the word "antidisestablishmentarianism".
29.People are staring at you.
act crazy.
31.Lies are weird, but not as weird as the truth. Which can be found at the bottom of a duck pond.
not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth. Very sharp. Oww... nasty teeth, baaaaaaaad...
33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.
34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do this as much as possible.
'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.
36.Never pet a burning dog. Never burn a petting dog. Or do both.
37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.
38.Naked men dig parkas.
39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.
know what would look good on you?
41.A meep.
42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless blob.
43.The size of Danny DeVito. Plus fangs.
44.Make an amusing facial expression. Like this. O.o
45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.
46.Stalking is fun. Do it more. Take a camera.
47.Make a large sign saying, "Bow down in awe of the Holy Winged Splodge". Count how many weird looks you get.
matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.
49.That way is a sugar high. Alternatively, eat cheese. Then go to sleep
50. Double espressos are good. Apart from when you need to sleep. Then they are bad.
cannot kill the snow.
53.The snow can kill you.
54.Grass can also kill you. Fear the green.
55.The policeman said I can't have his gun... so I bought one and he took it away...
56.Catch person who sold me gun and get a refund. Or kill them. Whichever is better fun.
57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.
58.Staple paper in the middle of the page.
case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.
are not a vampire, werewolf, empress, god or anything like that.
61.Pretend to be so around mini people.
not go out with Voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.
63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?
64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.
65.Remember to kill HIM...
66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.
67.Note reactions. Avoid parents.
68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.
69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.
70.Hide the bodies, otherwise people ask embarrassing questions.
the evidence.
72.But not if it's broken glass.
73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run
not tell children that the flying spaghetti monster is out to get them with his friend, the flying mutant cheese blob.
75.Disregard last note.
76.Note reactions.
77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.
78.Stock up on ball point pens.
79.Learn to fly. Tell no one.
80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
not stick fingers into blender.
82.Blender... Bad... Ouch.
83.Blood loss is bad.
84.Find way to re-attach fingers.
85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.
86.Answer every question with a question.
87.Ask people what time they are from.
88.Note reactions.
89.Refer to people as "mortal".
90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.
91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.
92.Start by drowning them in fire ants.
93.Find the creators of pop-up messages.
94.Kill them.
95.Brutally. By force-feeding them baked beans.
96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination. So give them a copy of your death notes book.
97.Dunk head in boiling water.
98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.
99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling!
100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...

Quotes

"If at first you don't succeed, change the rules."

"Some books should be tasted, some devoured, but only a few should be chewed and digested thoroughly." — Cornelia Funke (Inkheart)

"If you have no voice, SCREAM; if you have no legs, RUN; if you have no hope, INVENT." -- Alegria, Cirque Du Soleil

"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be." — Mark Twain

"Writing is like sex. First you do it for love, then you do it for your friends, and then you do it for money." — Virginia Woolf

"Being a writer is a very peculiar sort of a job: it's always you versus a blank sheet of paper (or a blank screen) and quite often the blank piece of paper wins." — Neil Gaiman

"The reason that fiction is more interesting than any other form of literature, to those who really like to study people, is that in fiction the author can really tell the truth without humiliating himself." — Eleanor Roosevelt

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." — Mark Twain

"Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company." — Mark Twain

"Classic' - a book which people praise and don't read." — Mark Twain

"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't." — Mark Twain

"I make my characters suffer because I love them. Suffering gives me an excuse to do the unforgiveable, and give them a happy ending."

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