The Rum Tum Tugger, sex beast extraordinaire, was very bored. There wasn't anything to do when his fangirls weren't about, and strutting about the junkyard with no Etcetera who squealed at his every movement just wasn't the same.
So apparently he'd lost his number one fan to a superhero. Why did that bother him so much? Had he just gotten used to her undying adoration and was now mourning the fact that she had somehow moved on? His ego had obviously been hurt, but there was something else as well. Something that he hadn't counted on.
'This is driving me insane,' Tugger thought. 'I need to get out.'
He got to his feet and stretched out. The sun had gone down and left the world in shadows of blue and grey, but London never really slept. Tugger heard the sounds of cars and music and humans talking, and his sensitive feline nose picked up scents from trash in the dumpsters near the junkyard and the smell of food nearby.
It was a nice evening, quiet and undisturbed...
"MIIIIAAAOOW!"
That is, until someone yowled. Tugger stopped in his path and listened closely. There was something very familiar with that yowl, he noticed. It was young, and female, and...
Etcetera. She was in trouble. He'd recognize that loud voice anywhere.
'Let her superhero save her then,' said a nasty part of Tugger's brain. 'That's what superheroes do, after all.'
But the yowl had sounded so sad, so afraid, that the rest of Tugger started running immediately. He followed it as fast as he could, hoping that she was all right, that she had just been startled by something, that things could go back to how they'd been before she had been saved by that shielded prat...
He was aware of movement in the alley in front of him, and stopped suddenly. He recognized the slender frame of Etcetera and that ridiculous cape she was wearing, but the cat in front of her wasn't familiar at all. It was a large brown tabby tom with a long scar across his face, and the grin he gave Etcetera made him look as if he was going to swallow her whole.
"If it ain't a little hero lass," he leered at her. "All lost and alone in a dark alley with no one to hear her scream... Ain't that a treat for poor lonely Grumbuskin?"
Etcetera took a step back. Her eyes were wide with terror and, noticed Tugger, they looked glossy from unshed tears. Had she been crying just now? Who had the nerve to make little Etcie cry?
'Grumbuskin,' thought Tugger and looked at the tabby. 'One of the toms that sailed the Thames with Growltiger, before the captain got himself killed at Molesey. He's here in London. He's a bad guy. And he's...'
He's threatening my queen.
A low growl escaped Tugger's lips. He suddenly felt angry. Etcetera had been the last to leave his side, the last to abandon him and move on. The rest of the queen kits had gotten over their crushes on him ages ago, but she had hold on, nurturing a tiny hope that someday, if she loved him enough, he would eventually love her back. Now was he not only losing her to Rumpus Cat, but she was also being threatened by a filthy pirate that wasn't even worthy of being near her.
It was true that she was annoying, sometimes. Her screams were not of this world, but he had liked that about her. He liked that she showed him how much she worshipped him. Bombalurina had never done that so clearly, it had just been subtle and secret with her even though everybody had known they were an item. That was why it hadn't worked out, and they had fought all the time. In the end she had left him, too.
But Etcie didn't. She waited, patiently, for him to see reason and be with her. He had to admire such devotion.
"Grumbuskin!" he called out before he could stop himself. "Let her go!"
He saw Etcetera's expression change from horror to relief to hope to surprise in less than five seconds. She stared at him as if she couldn't believe her eyes.
"Tugger?" she mumbled.
Then she was brutally cast aside by Grumbuskin, who smirked at Tugger with a glimmer in his eyes.
"A fightin' one, aye?" he asked. "'A'righ', then. I've taken a likin' to the lass, and I won't let 'er go that eas'ly."
'Run, Etcie,' thought Tugger desperately. 'It'll be okay now. Tugger is handling the situation perfectly. Just. Run.'
She didn't run. She sat there, still staring, a paw on her shoulder which seemed to have been hurt in the fall. She was in shock.
"Lesse what ye've got, then," said Grumbuskin and began circling Tugger. "I haven't been fightin' for a bit, an' I'm missin' it so."
The first punch was surprisingly sloppy, and Tugger avoided it easily. Grumbuskin was a big tom and had had a lot of exercise on Growltiger's barge, but the curious cat was considerably smarter. He ducked more than he delivered, but when he did deliver he made sure he made as much damage as possible. He aimed his claws at Grumbuskin's eyes, where a direct hit would immediately give him the upper paw. It was strange though... Sometimes, just sometimes, it almost seemed as if the pirate wanted Tugger to win. He would throw punches that were doomed from the start, and failed to duck when Tugger took a swing.
It was... weird. Very weird. But Tugger wasn't the kind of tom that dwelled upon things like that. If Grumbuskin wanted Tugger to win, he was fine with that.
It was about then that Grumbuskin completely knocked him out. The hit was so sudden and so hard that Tugger saw stars and fell to the ground. When he could see again he expected to be met with the image of Grumbuskin carrying innocent Etcetera off somewhere where he would never find her, but that didn't happen. If anything, Grumbuskin looked nervously at Tugger, turned on the spot, and fled.
Etcetera squeaked and hurried up to her fallen hero. "Tug?" she whispered softly in his ear. "Tuggy? Are... are you okay?"
Tugger opened his eyes. Oh, that was going to sting in the morning...
"Yeah," he mumbled. "I'm okay. Just great. Are you okay?"
"My shoulder hurts," she said timidly and blushed. "You... you saved me. I... I thought you weren't, you know, that brave..."
Tugger groaned and sat up. He shrugged, and grimaced at the pain in his shoulders. "Yeah, well..."
Before he knew it, she was in his arms, nuzzling her face into his chest and purring. At first he was sort of at loss for what to do, but she felt nice and warm and oh so soft, so he carefully placed his arms around her, pulling her closer. He hadn't noticed it before, but Etcetera smelt like springtime just behind the ears. He inhaled her scent, filled his lungs with it, and felt how good it did. Then he gently pushed up her face to his, and gave her a tender lick right on the nose.
Grumbuskin watched the scene from a house roof, basically bouncing up and down with joy. Then he remembered the pain and winced, but no one could take away the pleased look on his face.
"We did good there, didn't we?" he told the air, his pirate accent completely forgotten. "I think Etcetera will have other matters on her mind very soon."
Mistoffelees chuckled as he showed up. "Oh yes, I think this whole plan was an enormous success." He looked at Grumbuskin. "And you make a rather nice pirate, I might add."
"Why thank you, M., I do my very best. Do you mind putting me back to normal now?"
"Not at all."
Mistoffelees waved a paw, and the rogue features of the pirate melted away into the friendly face of Pouncival. The young tom stretched out and looked very pleased when he saw that his wounds had healed completely.
"That's much better." He regarded Tugger and Etcetera in the alley below. "I didn't think you'd go with the licking-idea, though."
Mistoffelees smiled. "I didn't. That was all Tugger." Pouncival looked confused, so he continued. "The spell I cast over him to make him go to the correct alley at the correct time didn't have any influence whatsoever on Tugger's thoughts or actions. Everything he did just now he did on his own, and not because I commanded him to. Isn't that sweet?"
"So Tugger really is fond of Etcie. Imagine that."
The two toms, the superhero and the magician, watched as the pair in the alley got up and started walking slowly back to the junkyard, Tugger leaning on Etcetera as much as he dared. The spectators waited until they had both disappeared out of sight, before Mistoffelees turned to Pouncival again.
"Back to work?" he asked.
Pouncival smiled, and as he did his eyes started to glow red, his fur darkened into midnight, and a large R came into view on his chest.
"Of course," said the Rumpus Cat.
End
So that was it, then. I hope people liked it, and that you'll show your appreciation with a little review. Come on. Just a little one?