(WARNING: LONG PROFILE AHEAD)

About me:

Hi, I'm Chelsie.
I'm fifteen.
I'm blonde.
I've got blue-grey eyes.
I'm a sophmore at B.C.A.H.S.
I'm a Natural Resources Major.
Need to know more?
Okay. Lets see...
I have a cookie necklace. It's shaped like a cookie and says 'COOKIE'.
My favorite colour is grey, because it shows that not everything is black and white.
I enjoy the British spelling of things. (I.e.: Blonde, colour, grey, etc.)
I think I may have slight O.C.D..
If you don't know what it means, look it up. I'm a spelling/grammar Nazi.
It doesn't have to be perfect, but it does need to be English.
I've got a very odd way of thinking, and will often talk in circles, confusing myself as well as others.
My friends are, like, my life. Hurt them, and I will inject you with 10,000 hyperdermic needles, at intervals of 1.5 seconds. I will then pull your fingernails out with a pair of rusty pliers, slowly. I will pluck each and every hair from every inch of your body, seperately. I will use an electric drill to make holes in your pupils. And that's only in the first hour.

I'm serious.
I will often say awkward things like that.
Then I may or may not randomly laugh.

Story List:

Sasuke's Got 'Em Whipped: Oneshot, Complete. See below for description.

Its the Rain's Fault: Oneshot, Complete. See below for description.

Most People: Oneshot, Complete. See below for description.

I Won't Say Anything if You Won't: Oneshot, Complete. See below for description.

Akatsuki's XBOX Adventure: Multi-Chapter, in progress, Chapters 1 & 2 need to be typed and uploaded. Akatsuki gains a new toy: the XBox 360. However, maybe it really isn't all that fun to play games with a group of psychotic mass-murderers. Then again, maybe it is, if you want to see Itachi play DDR. Definite Crack, no pairings as of yet, maybe implied later on.

HumorHorror: Collaberation with two of my friends, Sunni and Kala. Multi-Chaptered, in progress. Four friends get sucked into the Naruto universe, as well as various others from the television world. Horror filled crack ensures as the four meet up with their idols, and their worst nightmares. CRACKCRACKCRACK. Definite shonen-ai implied, pervertedness, torture, rape, porn, horror, and Elmo. Rated M for all of those things. NOTE: This fic cannot be found on this account. If you want to read it, go to the account LunchboxRetards and you'll find it there. I write every thrid chapter.

I am open for requests. The easiest things for me to write will be Naruto, Death Note, Inuyasha, D.N. Angel, Harry Potter, Pokemon, and Digimon. But I really don't want to write the last two. If you want another series, ask me about it, and I'll try my best. I will take any genre, and any pairings. That includes straight, shonen-ai (Boy on boy), shoujo-ai (Girl on girl, which I've never even tried before), bisexuals, threesomes, or whatever. Just ask about anything you want written, and I'll try.

Rant:

Okay, I’m going to write a rant here, because, really, everyone else is doing it, and I don’t want to be left out. This rant will be on the most ranted about subject that I have seen thus far:

Naruto pairings.

Okay, well, first off, I’ll start on all the yaoi/yuri/shonen-ai/shoujo-ai bashers. Who the hell are you to say that this person or that person is most definitely straight?!?! There have been, like, three confirmed pairings in Naruto, and out of those three, at least one of the partners is DEAD. Naruto is not based on romance, so it’s very reasonable that Kishi will not include any concrete pairings. The closest thing to a canon pairing that we have seen is Shikamaru and Temari in Part Two, but even that is stretching it. So far, NO ONE in the original genin squads has had a girlfriend or boyfriend. So why can’t we imagine whatever the hell we want to?

Another thing that really annoys me. Hey, guys, SAKURA IS NOT A WHORE! Hell, I don’t even like her, and I’m defending her. Seriously, it seems that she’s paired up with every character in the series. And, yes, I know, I’m contradicting myself. In the last paragraph I said to let everyone do what they want. But, seriously, guys, come on! Her and Sasuke are paired up with every freaking character! Hello, she’s never even met Tobi! Where the hell did you get the insane idea that they would meet up and immediately start screwing like rabbits? It isn’t likely. At all. But, if you can write a plausible situation where they meet and form a relationship, then, by all means, PM me with a link. I like to see people make random pairings seem plausible. It gives me hope that there are some intelligent people out there. However, most of the fanfics with these pairings are complete and utter crap with no plot.

One of the things that really ticks me off is when people completely deny the existence of any possibility of a relationship between Sasuke and Naruto. Okay, here are the most often used excuses: ‘but sakrua luvs saske!!’ – Uhm, maybe she does, maybe she doesn’t. who cares, though? It isn’t like Sasuke loves her back. ‘SASUSAKU 4EVA!!’ – Yea….No. Pick up a manga volume and try to show me ten words he’s spoken to her where he isn’t insulting her, or one of them is about to die. ‘sasuke said thanx when he left for oro.!’ – OH MY GOD! LOVE! …Dude, wait. Some guy just came to my door and gave me a little packet thing on the Bible. I said thank you…OH MY GAWD! BRANDON, I LUFF YOU! ‘SASUKE ISNT GAY!!’ – Look at my first paragraph, please. ‘They hate each other!’ – Maybe. People can often love someone, and hate them at the same time. Don’t forget, though, that Sasuke let Naruto live at VotE. He could have killed him. He would have done so if he hated him. ‘Naruto loves Sakura!’ – Look at what I said for Sakura loving Sasuke, please. Same principles. Besides, Naruto LEFT Konoha for TWO AND A HALF years for SASUKE. He did NOT stay for SAKURA. Which one is more important to him, do you think? ‘Sasuke is always mean to Naruto!’ – Yeah, well, people often use insults to hide their true feelings, ne? Plus, at least Naruto can stir up some meotion in the emo bastard. He’s always so ‘blah’ unless confronted with either Naruto or Itachi.

Okay, well, I’m done for now. I’ll probably add on to this or change it sometime later.

Current Favorites:

Character: Hidan (Naruto).
Manga: Death Note
Anime: Naruto Shippuuden
Pairing: ShikaTema (Naruto)
Colour: Grey
Animal: Arctic Wolf
Number: Eleven
Season: Winter
Band: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Song: Shut Up and Sleep With Me (Sin With Sebastian)
Food: Ramen (Chicken)
Letter: Q
Day: Thursday
Month: January

COOKIE BOX

Take one if you've reviewed. If not, you'll be attacked by a very pissed off Akatsuki. You've been warned.

Quotes:
(Because every profile needs a set)

Me: I have so many lesbian lovers.
But I'm totally straight.
Steve: Riiiiiiiight. - wink -
So, how come I never get invited?

‘Well, she never was the best
Yeah, at following the trends
Stayed one step above the rest
And even though it seemed
Like the world was crashing on her
Didn’t let it hold her,
Didn’t hold her back,
Oh no…’
- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Seventeen Ain't So Sweet

"LOOK A DISTRACTION!" "What where?"
- Kala, Chapter 10 of HumorHorror

Stepdad: Is your room clean?
Me: Well, that depends on the person viewing the room. To me it seems clean, but –
Stepdad: (rudely interrupting) I said, is it clean.
Me: Uh…I’ll be back in an hour, and then I’m positive the answer will be yes!

"A true artist works for their own satisfaction, not the happiness of their reviewers."
- Unknown