I tried eating Unajuu, and let me say, Genta's got some good tastes!

I do not believe in the Mary Sue. If you share this conviction, please copy-paste this into your profile, prepare for a weekly Anti-Sue Organization meeting, and also prepare for the millions of fanfiction writers who are going to chase you with pitchforks.

NOTE: To all the wonderful people who added "Tsugi Tsugi To" to their alert lists or favorite lists, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Please tell me what you think of the story, because I need people's opinions on how I can improve my writing style. I would really, really appreciate a review or two! Pretty please? Thanks again!

Hellooo...I see thou hast stumbled upon this user account of mine. Thou art welcome to explore.

Name: BlackMailer; M197; DestinyKeshet; pandoraseeker1412; karateKID1412; Grape Juice

Gender: (just making sure so you know...) FEMALE. Regardless of what you think otherwise...

Interests: EVERYTHING Detective Conan, Case Closed, Meitantei Conan! Whoot whoot!

Rent! I LOVE Rent! "Today for u, tomorrow for me!" XD

Artemis Fowl and Harry Potter: the two classics one cannot live without.

Sherlock Holmes...darn that Irene Adler. (Oh and also, BASIL RATHBONE ROCKS!)

Father Brown by G.K. Chesterton...although I don't think there are any fics of it here. He's considered second best to Holmes.

Azumanga Daioh! Ah!

Black Jack 21: The closest thing to soap opera I will EVER watch.

Mary Russell, thanks to hollybridgetpeppermint! Yay!

Honey and Clover...go Morita! Dance dance!

Howl's Moving Castle! Honestly, that Howl could give Voldemort some serious kick-butt.

Nodame Cantabile! GYABON!!

AiR TV and Kanon 2006--the best game-turned-animes in history.

My Missions In Life:

Mission One: The Team Sea Slug Creed

To protect the world from dehydration!

To unite all writers within our nation!

To defeat all plots that contain corn!

To stop bad people from making porn!

BlackMailer!

Ayumi-chan!

Team Sea Slug, blasting off at the speed of sloths!

Surrender now, or have your socks eaten by...moths...

Mission Two: I Am Ambitious

To get...eleventy...million reviews.

Mission Three: Mission Impossible

To meet Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Gosho Aoyama, Eoin Colfer, and Mr. Collins (so I can push him off a cliff).

ADVERTISING! DING DING DING!!

"A Dance With A Sandman" (GaaraOC) - Black Roses666

"Sorry Honey, the Bachelor Wanted the Cheesecake" (SakuraSasuke) - HyugaVSUchiha

"Daddy" (Sherlock Holmes) - tantei39kunoichi

"Days of Romance" (ShinichiRan) - Rani07

BlackMailer is a marker pen that plays the theme from Steptoe and Son, detects police sonar and inflates balloons.

That was a Prior-Art-O-Matic definition of me. If you want one for yourself, go to /priorart.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile(Artemis Fowl)(Readers: No, really?)

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friendthan copy this to your profile

My Favorite Quotes:

"Women...can't live with 'em or without 'em!" - "Take Me or Leave Me", Rent

"525,600 minutes, how do you measure, measure a year? Measure in love..." - "Seasons of Love", Rent

"Shinjitsu wa itsumo hitotsu!" - Conan Edogawa

"Is there something on my face?" -my friend Densha AKA HyuugaVSUchiha; we had just had a play and she played the king, so she drew this really big curly mustache on her face and it wouldn't come off

"No, the Artemis-Holly pairing is NOT dead! We just have to kill Minerva!" -Me

During a discussion about time and the universe:

My friend Pau: So if we are neither linear nor absolute...then what are we?

Me: We're confused.

"Rigor mortis is...that thing where you get hard after you die...right?" -My eight-year-old sister Ayumi-chan, after watching a Case Closed marathon

"Guys are like dogs! They eat too much, they sleep too much, they're hairy and smelly...and you STILL think they're the most adorable things on Earth." -Me

"I can read minds! I must be psycho!" -Kamoochan

Dawn…if you are capable of waking up early enough to catch the sun rising up in the orange sky, then your sleepless-ness would be rewarded. You would’ve witnessed the most beautiful sight in the world that your newest fear would be losing that memory, even after a decade wasted in your life." -from Black Roses666's 'A Dance With a Sandman'

Manager: I'll ask you a question...say it's bargain day, it's crowded, a woman faints. What do you do?

Flywheel: How old is she?

Manager: What difference does it make?!

Flywheel: You see what kind of person you have running your store? A woman is in distress, and he asks, 'What difference does it make?'!

-The Marx Brothers' "The Big Store"

British people are from Britainy! -my best friend Kamoo; our brains weren't really working that day...

Funny Jokes:

The Happy Bunny Story

Once upon a time there was a bunny. He went into a bar. After that, five more came out. The end.

Answering Machine Message: Money

Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

The Ollie Joke (from hollybridgetpeppermint)

Act like you're very uneducated, so much you can barely talk. With complete seriousness (this will take some practice), say the following (it's spelled the best I can; it's like a different language!):

I have a sweet art. He name ah Ollie. Ollie comed to visit me one day. He comed across the rail road (yes, say it in two words) tracks. He comed in a orse and buggy. The train go toot toot. Ollie no hear the train. The train go bang bang. Ollie still no hear the train. The train go BANG BANG!

(point to random places in the room as you say the next part)

There Ollie arm. There Ollie other arm. There Ollie leg. There Ollie other leg.

(stop pointing. Make sure to keep a straight face as you say, completely serious:)

I bet you ten dollar (no, I did NOT leave off an 's') something has happened to Ollie.

Now, translated and without motions, it runs like this:

I have a sweetheart. His name is Ollie. Ollie came to visit me one day. He came across the railroad tracks. He came in a horse and buggy. The train whistled. Ollie didn't hear the train. The train went, "Bang, bang!" Ollie still didn't hear the train. The train went, "BANG! BANG!" There's Ollie's arm. There's Ollie's other arm. There's Ollie's leg. There's Ollie's other leg. I'll bet you ten dollars something has happened to Ollie.

Now do you get it? Ha ha...

The Reason Why You Should Seriously Consider Working in a Game Shop.

True Story.

Setting: Gamer's Edge store, Japan.

Kid: pushes door Unh...unh...unh...

Door Sign: PULL.

Kid: continues pushing Unh...unh...

A woman (mom) pulls open door andenters, withthe little kid tagging along behind her.

Guy at Counter (my friends brother): Yes, ma'am? Can I help you?

Woman: I would like to rent these games, please.

GaC: You need a valid ID.

W: slaps driver's licence onto table

GaC: stares at licence That's expired, ma'am.

W: So?

GaC: So, you need a VALID ID, ma'am.

W: What's the big deal! When I show this to people they know who I am!

GaC: I'm sorry, ma'am, but I cannot permit you to rent any games without a valid ID.

W: That's it! I'm calling the management! Give me the number!

GaC: fakes worry The management? Oh, no, please, ma'am...

W: GIVE ME THE NUMBER!

GaC: very sneakily writes down the counter number Here you are...

W: glares, then tries to make a scene out of leaving, while kid tags along behind her

She yanks open door and stomps out, slamming door behind her. Unfortunately she forgets about her kid, who is obediently at her heels, and the kid goes flying backwards into the store.

W: reaches in and pulls kid back out

After the woman has stomped off out of sight, the phone rings at the counter.

GaC: picks up Gamer's Edge Management, how may I help you?

W: Yes! I am making a complaint about your staff! They are uncooperative and refused to let me rent games at your store!

At this point, my friend goes over to her brother, writes something on paper, and shows it to him.

GaC: reads off the paper "Oh, yeah! So YOU'RE that crazy woman who slammed the door on her own kid! We saw you on the monitors! We should report you! WHAT KIND OF A PARENT ARE YOU?!"

W: hangs up

Tendjewberrymud (NO OFFENSE to Chinese here.)

Read aloud for best results (and some semblance of comprehension). This was nominated "best email of 1997".

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review...

Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service"
RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen?"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What?"
RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS : "Hokay. An San tos?"
G: "What?"
RS:"San tos. July San tos?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes?"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes 'means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
G: "English muffin! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No..just put the bother on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Sorry?"
RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem,tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy...rye?"
G: "Whatever you say"
RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
G: "You're welcome"

The Stupidest Subtitles in the History of all DVDs.

From a Chinese copy of "Fourteenth Target" Detective Conan movie.

The scene shows the villain holding a knife to Ran's throat.

Villain: Move, and I'll shoot.

From a pirated "Chamber of Secrets" DVD.

Dumbledore's office, the scene showing the Sorting Hat speaking to Harry and saying "Bee in your bonnet?"

Hat: Be in your barracks, Potter...

Actual Chinese Movie Subtitles:

1. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

2. Gun wounds again?

3. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

4. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.

5. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?

6. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.

7. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

8. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!

9. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.

10.Beat him out of recognizable shape!

11. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!

12. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

13. How can you use my intestines as a gift?

Something For You To Think About:

What is the one thing a girl always uses that belongs to a guy?

Your mom uses your dad's.

Your grandma uses your grandpa's.

Your aunt uses your uncle's.

A girl uses her boyfriend's when they get married.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one.

Peter Pan has a short one.

It's a...

SURNAME. If you thought otherwise, you scare me. If you thought otherwise, copy this into your profile.( )_( ) (")_(")

This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your signature to help him gain world domination.

SUPPORT THE BUNNY!

Some Stuff I've Been Considering:

1. An Artemis Fowl Fanfic Involving Virtual Reality

2. A DC Fic About the 'Rents

3. A Princess Tutu Fic! (Please Don't Die, Plunnies.)