Bitten by a cow
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Joined 02-19-04, id: 542169, Profile Updated: 06-06-08
Author has written 10 stories for Pirates of the Caribbean, Jurassic Park, Movie X-overs, Lord of the Rings, and Rurouni Kenshin.

HOORAY! I finally made my own homepage! There are some drawings and things in "Story Stuff" and...yeah. I currently am working on an original fiction called "Almonds and Mints" on Fiction Press. I also have (two) videos on YouTube, but they're mostly just audios.

Yes, hyperventilation is complete.

Quick Note: I just deleted a bunch of crap off of my profile, so now it's...shorter. Yeah.

Quick Note 2: If you are allergic to crappy stories, don't read my stuff. It's crappy.

Warning: Yo ho yo ho, Dead Dying and Very Tan, and Just a little fluff are so terrible, that I may delete them at any given time. If you for some reason are a fan of any of these, (though I don't know why - they're awful) I will just give them to you if you want them.

My favorite animal: CAMELS! YAY!

My favorite hobbies: CAMELS WATCHING AND COLLECTING! Typing/writing(obviously), drawing, watching movies (especially suspense, like Flightplan), playing video games, listening to music, and eating. (chomp chomp chomp)

I am a Christian, and I'm proud of it. So, I won't be swearing and all that rot, but sometimes I do say the word crap and friggin', and I'm sorry if I offend anyone. I will NOT EVER read OR WRITE! slash, incest, or sex. Ever. EVER!!

Yeah. These are my favorite Scripture verses:

"For the Lord Himself will come down from heaven with a shout, and the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore comfort one another with these words."

-1 Thessalonians 4:16-18

"'Know that I, I am He, And there is no other god besides Me; It is I who put to death and give life. I have wounded and it is I who heal, And there is no one who can deliver from my hand.'"

-Deuteronomy 39:32

I love those verses.

So far, my fanfics are...

...done. Well, we'll see what comes next!

If you're looking for something that isn't making outage crappiness, don't read Yo ho. It sucks. I'm thinking about disowning it.

Thank you so much, you guys! I have 149! reviews now! I feel so special! YEAH! So, my thanks to all my reviewers! All of you guys are cool!

Favowite Sayin's: (woot!)

"My cow bit me." An excuse for missing work, an article by MSN. THIS IS THE LINE WHICH IS THE UTTER-MOST CENTER OF MY BEING! - Okay, so it's actually only where I got my screen name. So sue me.

"Use the force - talking to one's self." Something Hamlet said when we were talking. Crazy she is.

"Bunkmate, can you help give me these seventeen shots before I go into a coma?" a...line from a character from homestarrunner at the dot com.

And many more, but there were WAAAAY too many, so...these are my three favorites.

The insanity of it all...

If you were so horrifically happified that Will died in AWE, paste this into your profile! Yay for Will's deadness!

Alrighty...here's my'a eight LEAST favorite things...

8. Wal-Mart. EVIL THEY ARE! (sharpens kunife)

7. Mary-Sues. Ugh. No discussion here.

On second thought, maybe I should say something: everybody is like, "Oh my gosh! Sues are terrible!" And then they go and make the most Sueish person in the world. I do it too. So, I would suggest this: The Original Fiction Mary-Sue Litmus Test. It helped me get rid of the Sueish-ness of my characters! ('cept Aravis. She a pure Sue, through and through) I hope you guys like it!

6. All sequels. Wait, ONE exception here! Toy Story 2! Yay!

5. All those dirty crap movies out there, that decide that the only reason for living is sex.

4. Bush-bashers. Come on, guys! Why don't you try to be president? Alright, maybe he has made a few mistakes, but give him a break! He's trying!

3. Homosexuals. Erm, no discussion here either. That's just wrong. STRAIGHT THE WIN! Or something!

2. Ooh, close tie here, but still! Orlando Bloom sucks second. Pthhbt. Worse than him is all the girls who are insane over him. Really. It's gross. It makes me want to shoot them. BUT, I guess that wouldn't be very nice...but I really hate it...

...1!. Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest. Or, more like, Dead Man's Crap! ARgg! Let me quick quote from the Boston Globe: "All that's missing is a plot, amusing dialogue, comic timing, and a reason to exist." Hehe! Yeah. That movie sucks butts off of...beansprouts. And lima beans. Those things are nasty.

I think I'm done now.

Update! Ryu had pretty li'l Ali! She's so adorable...and Willow loves her, too.

Smile! God loves you!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Among the Ashes by Callisto Hime reviews
Now married Link and Zelda are living life in freedom but when disaster strikes Hyrule they are forced into fighting for their kingdom and once more forming an alliance with Marth, Roy and Elice to unravel a sinister plot thousands of years in the making.
Crossover - Legend of Zelda & Fire Emblem - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 109,960 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 9/3/2014 - Published: 3/16/2007 - Link, Zelda, Marth, Roy
A Thousand Times by vievere reviews
They were intricately tied together, through many lifetimes, in an unbreakable cycle of death and rebirth. Link and Zelda, through the ages. A writing experiment.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,915 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 15 - Published: 11/27/2012 - Link, Zelda - Complete
The Reign of Ganon by The Gemini Sage reviews
Ocarina of Time adapt; discontinued.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,526 - Reviews: 304 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 2/11/2010 - Published: 9/11/2003 - Link, Zelda
For the Sake of Rum by Albino Coconut23 reviews
Not set in a particular time. Jack goes back to Port Royal to visit the Turners and buy some rum. Being the pirate that he is, he steals it instead, causing a whole deal of trouble for him, Elizabeth, and Will. Read And Review! Rated T to be safe!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,052 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/23/2007 - Published: 9/19/2006
Time Cannot Erase by Callisto Hime reviews
Zelda and Fire Emblem Crossover: Zelda and Link have returned to the past to relive the fatal seven years and though Hyrule is in peace they are left to live in sorrow when the mysterious Marth appears and changes the course of their lives forever.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 186,159 - Reviews: 221 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 1/1/2007 - Published: 3/23/2006 - Zelda, Link - Complete
Worst Romance Ever Written by Princess of Ithilien reviews
I'm making fun of all those Mary Sue stories. Basically, I'm writing about a Mary Sue who writes a Fanfiction about a Mary Sue who is conveniently in Middle Earth... bad things will happen! A cousin who tries to stop the Sue writer... R&R
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 26,484 - Reviews: 235 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 8/6/2006 - Published: 5/2/2006
Gollum's First Encounter With Taters by Princess of Ithilien reviews
This is how it went...R&R Short oneshot. Rather random...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 439 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/18/2006 - Gollum - Complete
Black Riders On A Sugar High by Princess of Ithilien reviews
What happens when you combine the Wraiths, sugar and caffeine in a confined space? Read to find out...Very random R&R!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,048 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/15/2006 - Complete
Randomness On Ice by Princess of Ithilien reviews
The Fellowship have a very crazy time while ice skating...AU Very random
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 662 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/14/2006 - Complete
SuperDuper LOTR Story by Monty Python61 reviews
A Smelly human, a deranged hobbit, a lost king who craves ice cream a little too much, an elf who obsesses on shampoo, Denethor a disco star, and a crazy punk rocker. Ps: I am not currently writing this story anymore.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,999 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/7/2005 - Published: 11/7/2005
Pirates of the Caribbean:Curse of the Mary Sue by GreyWolfEyes reviews
A beautiful, mysterious woman comes to Port Royal and captures the heart of the dashing Jack Sparrow. You know the routine. Or do you? Two moronic teenagers, the Fellowship, and a thieving goat all join the fray in this merry killthesue fic.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 28,531 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/3/2005 - Published: 9/14/2003
What Jedi Masters Do In Their Free Time by Princess of Ithilien reviews
A hilarious account answering all your questions of exactly WHAT Jedi Masters do in their free time. R&R! COMPLETED
Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,058 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/21/2005 - Published: 11/23/2004 - Complete
The Fellowship of the Psychology Class by Reasonably crazy reviews
This was actually a school assignment for (Three guesses) Psychology! It was co-written with Joan, so it may not be my regular style. Pretty good from what I've heard; Joan and I got MAJOR extra credit. My grade is now an A with 114 in the class!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,550 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 11/11/2004 - Published: 10/25/2004
Twelve Days of Christmas..or is it? by Straightjackets-R-Us reviews
My friend Jessica and I made up this little song parody while running in P.E.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 474 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/15/2002
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Three Little Words reviews
Who would have ever thought that she liked him? Wasn't Kenshin the one she was supposed to love, or...did this laid-back, handsome fighter capture her attention and give her the magic Kenshin never sparked? Alternate pairing: Sano/Kaoru.
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,943 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/25/2009 - Published: 4/10/2009 - Sanosuke, Kaoru
Yo ho, yo ho, a Pirates Life for Me reviews
This is a story about love...two pirates who are in need of sailing together...two pirates who were meant for each other...one of them being a man called Captain Jack Sparrow.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 30,013 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/9/2008 - Published: 6/26/2006 - Complete
Just a Little Fluff reviews
It's random, but it's a Sano/Kaoru one shot I did for fun. It is terrible, I know. But, if you like the couple, g'head and read it! I won't mind! I'll probably delete it, though, because it sucks.
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,145 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Published: 4/9/2008 - Kaoru, Sanosuke - Complete
Happy Little Ditties reviews
Yeah. Just a bunch of random little oneshots I made. That's about it. Yep. Exciting, eh? Yeah. The Its, possibly Darth Vader, Bowser, Chomp Chomp, Barney, Jack Sparrow and whatnot are here.
Movie X-overs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 20,351 - Reviews: 39 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/27/2007 - Published: 8/3/2006
The Story of the Parvani reviews
Otherwise known as Insanity Vs. The Mary Sues. The evil Sues have gathered on the Brandywine...Insanity will beat the heck out of them! Kaden and Kiley, the Its, Hamlet, Crevan, the camels, everyone! BUAHAHAHAH! INSANITY THE WIN!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 50,860 - Reviews: 6 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/27/2007 - Published: 3/3/2007 - Complete
The Dead, The Dying, and the Very Tan reviews
It's new! It's improved! And it's still crappy! The sequel to Yo ho yo ho A Pirate's Life for Me, it's filled with the same crap and soap opera marshmallows like the original! Though, an unexpected twist has plagued the group this time...and less fluff!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 9,034 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/13/2007 - Published: 10/26/2006 - Complete
The Extras reviews
Well, all the extras from Yo ho had to go somewhere! So, here they are! Alternate endings, Deleted scenes, interviews, and chocolate!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 12,522 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4/7/2007 - Published: 9/19/2006 - Complete
Kaden and Kiley reviews
These are the two idiots from my Happy Little Ditties! They're here! Yay! Traveling around the world of movies! And...being stupid. Warning: Bring your gas masks. Kiley is cooking.
Movie X-overs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,848 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 9/19/2006 - Published: 8/21/2006 - Complete
How To Kill A MarySue reviews
Basic instructions on killing a MarySue. I will show you three MarySues, and then I will show you the technique of vaporizing them. This contains two other movies besides Jurassic Park.
Jurassic Park - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,055 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/27/2006 - Complete
The Will Turner Bashing Series reviews
I hate Will Turner. That's pretty much sums it up, so yeah...I like the Home, home on the range part at the end. Sorry if I offended anyone, I just simply hate Will Turner. The End.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 811 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 7/12/2006 - Published: 6/27/2006 - Complete
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