There once was a man,

A very annoying man.

He needed a slap in the face,

Or a whip across his back,

Or a whack with a mace.

He talked and talked and talked,

And if that wasn't enough,

He would not stop, he talked

All through the night.

He practically stalked

People by talking,

Going on and on and on.

It was no fun;

He didn't like rum

What's a pirate supposed to do?

He never sang

Yo ho, yo ho a pirates life for me,

He had good posture,

He paid his fee,

He ate his broccoli.

He had good manners

And was gentlemanly,

He made swords and daggers

Per-fect-ly.

He had a name,

A perfect one at that.

He disliked fame,

He was petite and perfect,

But very annoyingly.

His name was regal

And he was always legal,

But he was still annoying.

His name was Will Turner.

I wish I had put him on a burner.

He was quite a learner,

But still annoying.

I will stop now

Before I go into a vow

Of

Slapping him in the face,

Whipping his back,

Whacking him with a mace,

Sticking him on a burner,

Tearing off his hide

Then rip out his insides

Then I'll do it all over again.

Home, home on the range,

Where annoying men are tied up in chains,

I tear off their hides

And rip out their insides

Then I'll do it all over again!

Everybody!