Kiwi Male.

I enjoy listening to music, watching movies, playing video games, and I write fanfiction when the whimsy takes me.

For the most part though, it's the Harry Potter and Fate/Stay Night franchises, though I like Nanoha, Prototype, Starcraft, Campione!, Sekirei, Pokemon, Naruto and Familiar of Zero too - provided they're well written. And not all together.

If it's a crossover between two series, don't add a third one half way through. Mention a single character, maybe, but not the entire cast and half the plotline. No one wants to read Harry Potter the Blacklight Jedi TSAB Enforcer with a Zanpakuto (Bleach's Soul-Cutter Swords) and a shiny Charizard, fighting against Campione!Super-Sayajin!Naruto and his harem of alien wagtails in the midst of the fifth Halkeganian Grail War.

Archer is a Shiny Shirou. And the Steel/Ghost Pokemon Doublade's Shiny colours are Silver and Red... Coincidence? Let's face it, that would be an awesome crossover to see, even if there's not a full story behind it.

Gaara gets sand manipulation, Yugito has enhanced fire manipulation, Yagura has Coral, Roshi gets Lava manipulation, Han has steam, Utakata has bubble release, Fu flies, Killer B gets ink... Even the Jubi/Shinju has the Rinnegan... Naruto gets... Healing? Nope, that's an innate Uzumaki trait... Sensing negative emotions? Nope. The shaft? Seems like it. Unless his solid henge is thanks to the kyuubi...

One thing that bugs me about Naruto: His first original technique was a transformation - but he never thinks to use it to go and buy the basic necessities, without the demon-container surcharge.

Another is that he needs to be told about the Kage Bunshin's returning memory to their owner. You think he would've worked that out inside the first week, if not the first time, when he (x500) wailed on Mizuki.

And Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler

Sasuke. Nukenin, should be S-ranked, on par with Itachi and Orochimaru (he's certainly capable enough, if not quite on their level), apprentice to the most vile nukenin in the history of Konoha, one that killed a reigning Kage no less, and he's given a slap on the wrist and freedom to continue wandering. Worse, he wins the girl that the protagonist/hero/main character wants, and doesn't even stick around to raise their child.

One of the many, many things that bugs me about Harry Potter is that Dumbledore basically sets Harry up to die. Another is that nobody actually killed Voldemort, and then took out the Horcruxes while he was discorporate - much easier to do when he's not breathing down your neck, I'd assume.

DragonBall Z - Vegeta, in his base form, way back, before ever even arriving on earth, was able to destroy planets. His first appearance, a filler episode, he destroyed Arlia, with the creepy bug dudes. Just think about that for a moment. A base form Saiyan, with a power rating of about 19,000, could destroy a planet.

A super saiyan starts at around 1,000,000,000. That's a billion. As in more than 500 times as powerful.

And Goten and Trunks are able to go SS as kids. One temper tantrum to destroy the world. Goku, in his SS3 form, probably sneezes at more than 1m... Yeah.

And the average human has a power level of around 5, whereas Master Roshi, on the upper end of the human power scale, has 139 (in the Saiyan Saga). Then we have Krillin in the region of hundreds of thousands (canon puts him at 75k on Namek, beyond that point, his power levels weren't noted)

In contrast, Goku's base form is 3 Million in the Buu saga.

Which is another thing that bugs me. Saiyans, elite warrior race, their base form's best is 3 million. PiccoloNailKami, Namekian, 1.15 billion. What the HELL?!

As for Portal 2, I don't understand all the Wheatley love people have. Even before it's revealed that he's the Intelligence-Dampening Sphere, He does his very best to belittle and demean Chell/the player, make the worst possible decisions, and, in general, fail at anything useful. And then he tries to kill PotatOS, sending you to old Aperture in the process. Good job breaking it - and by it I mean everything - Moron. And then he ignores all the reactor critical warnings, etc etc. And then he tries to kill you.

Why do people like him again?

On a related note, I actually like the snarky, sarcastic GLaDOS/PotatOS. Sure, she wants to kill you, but you did murder her first, in self-defense. And she does let you go after it's all said and done.

On pairings;

HP

By no means do I expect a Sir Harry Galahad and his merry band of Chaste Knights, but:

Harry x Ginny doesn't seem realistic to me. Ginny is more of a fangirl than a proper love interest ('You won't be happy unless you're fighting Him' - from HBP - is often used as a tool to depict Ginny as a vapid girl whom never actually knew Harry at all.)

Others have expressed this view before myself, but it doesn't detract from the validity. Hell, Luna has greater character depth and growth, and we only see her from OotP onwards. Ginny will only have any significance whatsoever as a plot device in my stories. That, and their respective Black relatives (their grandmothers) being cousins. (Dorea Black=Charlus Potter, Cedrella Black=Septimus Weasley). Well, before the Pottermore retcon.

And that's without considering that girls often grow up to look a lot like their mothers, and Molly Weasley is best described as 'plump', with a voice akin to a Banshee.

And Harry, with his upbringing (Dursleys) is hardly likely to fall for a spoiled, domineering woman.

Harry x Slytherin is just asking for ostracisation, both for himself and the Slytherin girl in question.

Don't even get me started on Slash. We have enough Canon evidence pointing to Straight!Harry. I'm not homophobic (some of my friends are gay), but I find no appeal in it personally. There will not be Harry x Male shipping. Ever. In any of my fics. Ever. I'm not above hints of fem!slash though, being a healthy male.

Harry-Death Eater/Junior DE pairings (Such as Bellatrix or Pansy), is entirely unlikely to happen, given that, ya'know, they're trying to kill him. That and Bellatrix already has a husband. There will be no Harry x Pureblood Bigot. And that's ignoring the Pedophilia.

Slash-DE pairings are even worse. Not only are they trying to kill him, but several have children, indicating they're straight. Adding to that, some of the DEs are (theoretically) serial rapists, so... definitely no Harry x Male Pedophile Pureblood Bigot.

Draco-Harry... Ugh. Hey, I know I've belittled, insulted, and cursed you for the last X years, but that really just means I want to bend you over a desk... Uhh... No. See above.

Severus-Harry... Hey, I know I've belittled, insulted, and cursed the name of your father for the last X years, was lusting after your mother, betrayed them to their deaths, would like to see your Godfather dead, and was willing to feed him to a dementor, along with your psudeo-uncle Remus (PoA), and am twenty years your senior, but how about you jump into bed with me... No. Sicko. See above.

LV/TMR-HP slash is... wtf? Seriously. He's pushing seventy to Harry's teens, killed his parents, killed thousands of others (by hand or via his minions), and wants him dead. How that translates to any kind of intimate relationship beggars belief. Once again, see above. And that's without taking into account the whole 'Snakeface' appearance.

That and even a gay!Harry wouldn't be a sub in a relationship. After all, he's a leader, not a follower, with a temper, and wouldn't accept anyone pushing him around - in or out of the bedroom. /rant

I'm not even going to touch anything 'mpreg' with a ten foot long pole. Males do not possess the appropriate reproductive organs to produce an egg, let alone carry a developing foetus. And I doubt that 'magic' can change enough of someone's genetic code to make that possible, since even Polyjuice (a controlled potion, requiring rare ingredients and a lengthy brewing time) only lasts an hour.

Along the lines of Harry/Draco/Snape/OC is a magical creature... Firstly, any creature, with the exceptions of Vampires and Werewolves, would be a matter of heritage. Draco is a 'Pureblood', and so has no creature inheritance. Snape is a 'halfblood' posing as a 'pureblood', and I dare say that any creature inheritance he had would be rather obvious to his masters. And it's clear that neither James nor Lily were a Veela/Nymph/Sylph/Siren/Merman/insert creature here. OCs are allowed to have bullshit heritages, as part of their bullshit snowflake character. That doesn't mean they're suddenly going to find twue wuv with a main character. Harry's been able to shake off an Imperious since age 14, people, nothing's going to control him.

And speaking of heritages, this time referring to banking and titles: If he were Harry James Potter-Black-Peverell, that's one thing. Sirius, his godfather, and cousin via Harry's grandmother, Dorea Potter nee Black, could have named him as his heir. Potter-Black-Peverell-Lupin-Pettigrew-Gaunt-Riddle-Snape-Malfoy-Avery-Lestrange-Gryffindor-Hufflepuff-Slytherin-Le Fay-Ambrosius-Windsor-Pendragon... Not so much. And needing 29.5 wives... no. If even a third of that were the case, surely we would've heard of his immediate ancestors being in similar circumstances, as it's not really something to live down.

On a side note: Anyone shipping Romione is being silly (JKR included). Couples that fight as frequently as they seem to would NOT last. I've best seen it expressed as 'One would end up on a mortuary slab, the other in Azkaban.' He belittles her regularly, argues with her over the smallest things, and, quite simply, isn't on her level.

She's a high flying academic, he's an unmotivated slob. She's muggleborn, and he's dismissive of muggles (Not quite a Malfoy level bigot, but dismissive - casual confounding of a DMV official anyone? And then there's the CoS line, after Ginny was 'attacked' "But Ginny's a pureblood!", as though it makes a difference.) and squibs (A cousin who's an accountant, we don't talk about him). She respects authority greatly, and is the kind of person to use authority responsibly (i.e Prefect), he abuses his position (ala keeping a Fanged Frisbee). He's a quidditch fanatic, and she doesn't even like flying. She's a cool, calm, collected individual, he's an inconsiderate, impetuous hothead. She has all the earmarkings of future success, he's lined up to be the second string keeper of the worst Quidditch team in the league. Need I go on?

And then, of course, Hermione invites him to Slughorn's Christmas Party, then he turns around and starts dating Lavender... I'm not anti-Lavender though, as such, because nothing suggests that she set out to steal him or anything along those lines, all we're told is that the above sequence of events occurred.

:snicker: - dailymail(co)(uk)/article-2550453/JK-Rowling-admits-Hermione-married-Harry-Potter-instead-Ron(.html) - Link's outdated now, but JKR admitted that Ron and Hermione would not work out as they are, and that there was far more chemistry between Harry and Hermione.

Naruto

Naru/Hina - I don't really see that pair working. He's essentially a street rat, (unknown) heritage aside. She's the heiress to the most powerful clan remaining in Konoha. That's before you take into account Hiashi's overbearing need for a strong, yet pliable heir and the status and trappings of power, and Naruto's Pariah status on account of the Kyuubi no Kitsune.

Then there's the whole Caged Bird Seal issue...

And now that the End's been reached, and the pairing is Canon, I feel like Naruto got jipped. Yeah, she's a shrinking violet watching him from afar, but he's had his eye on someone else. Who gets their heart's desire, and who gets their fifth choice?

Naru/Saku - The very first issue there is that Sakura needs to get over her fangirlism re: Sasuke (typically only occurs once she apprentices to Tsunade). There's still Naruto's Pariah status. It's possible that there would be a great deal of outrage amongst the Konoha population, complete with the outing of Jinchuriki status, though that too could have any number of outcomes.

They could always go on an 'extended training trip' for a few years. I don't really see them going Nukenin over it though. Still more realistic than Naru/Hina.