( ON MY STORY ESME'S FLASHBACK I KNOW EDWARD READS MINDS BUT I WANTED 2 SWITCH IT AROUND THANKX 4 CARING THOUGH : )

Gender: Female

Age: unknown (I'm thinking of a number between 16 and 18) I just said what number I was thinking not actually how old I am. But u never know.

D.O.B. August 7th unknown

Name: Pen Name

Hair: Short Light Chocolate brown hair with blond streaks. Hair is gold in the sun.

Eyes: Chocolate Brown eyes that you get lost in. Turn goldish color in sun.

Favorite Icream Flavor: Cake Batter

Favorite Color: Baby blue

Goal in Life: Become Billionare. Move 2 L.A. Buy mansion. Become actress. Make more money. Visit Italy. Buy house in Italy. Go back to L.A. spend all weekend shopping.

Go stalk a few celebrities. Become secret agent. Get burned like on Burn Notice. Spend all my time helping people like Burn Notice. Get a maltese pooch named Roxy.

Space

Number your 12 favorite Twilight characters, in no particular
order, and answer the questions below the cut! No peeking.

1. Alice

2. Ness

3. Emmett

4. Japser

5. Rosalie

6. Esme

7 Carlisle

8. Jacob

9. Seth

10. Leah

11. Bella

12. Edward

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?
No...Don't ever want to EVER

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Jasper. I suppose he is hot in his own little world. Not to be mean.

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
If Edward got Jacob pregnant. Bella would probably have to go to a mental Hospital. Carlisle will be thinking where he went wrong? (If u know wat i mean)

4. Do you recall any fics about Nine?
Jasper yes.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Esme and Renesmee? No...NEVER

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
Rosalie/Seth Rosalie/ Leah? Rosalie and Seth.

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve in an awkward situation?
Carlisle walked in on Ness and Edward. He would never be the same again. Possibly die of shock.

8. Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fic.
Leah gets her revenge after Emmett pulls a major prank on her.

9. Is there such a thing as One/Eight fluff?
I sure in HELL hope not!! I would kill Jacob!! Wait scratch that. Jasper just ripped his head off...

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.
Guess who wants to play doctor with who?

11. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to go out with One?
Easy. Tell them to go out DUH! They r already together.

12. Does anyone on your Friends List read Three slash?
Emmett? Good luck.

13. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
No. All of my friends hate Bella. hint hint.

14.Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?
Jasper Rose Ness. Not unless they were a little twisted.

15. What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?
I hate bloodsuckers!!

16. If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
Is there such thing as "She's rejected u get a LIFE!"

17. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
T.

18. What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?

Ugh. Absolutely nada!! I don't think LEAH goes that way...

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlie's sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Everytime there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

Man: Have I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I go to mine.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: If I could see you naked I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked I'd die laughing.

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u next to i
Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.

BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin' "THAT WAS FRICKING AWESOME!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'It's because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter.
BEST FRIENDS:Will repost this crappp!!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Your mom looks like Voldemort (oooooh burn)

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'll die and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT!

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

"When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade"

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Don't mess with me I've got a stick

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."

"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"

"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."

"Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?"

"What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy."

"Guns don't kill people. I do."

"A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'"

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you."
— Rita Mae Brown

"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."
— G.K. Chesterton

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Ever had writers block when talking?

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

A Twilight Survey

Which book in the series is your favorite?
Eclipse

How long did it take you to read the books?

36 hours to read all of them.

Who introduced you to the books?

My friend Ali

Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?

Got them as a gift at Christmas.

Are you most looking forward to: Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, or the movie?

Breaking Dawn

What's your dream ending to the series?

Me instead of Bella

Favorites:

Who's your favorite vampire?
Emmett

Who is your favorite werewolf?
Paul

What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?

'Does my being half-naked bother you?'

What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?

Sleeping Bag Scene

What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?
When Bella punches Jacob.

How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment?
When Alice gets Bella ready for the wedding

What was your favorite adventure/battle?
The Newborn vampire army battle in Eclipse

Which book cover was your favorite?
NewMoon.

Are these books among your favorite books of all?
What kind of question is that? Duh.

This or That?

Twilight or New Moon?
Twilight

New Moon or Eclipse?
Eclipse

Eclipse or Twilight?
Eclipse

Are you more excited about Breaking Dawn or Midnight Sun?
Breaking Dawn

Midnight Sun or the Twilight Movie?
Midnight Sun

Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob?

Edward...so i can have Jacob

Who do you like more:

Bella or Edward?
Bella

Bella or Jacob?
Jacob

Bella or Alice?
Alice

Alice or Jacob?
Alice

Rosalie or Alice?
Alice.

Jasper or Alice?
Jasper

Jasper or Edward?
Jasper

Carlisle or Esme?
Esme

Emmett or Jasper?
Emmett

Emmett or Jacob?
Emmett

Bella or Rosalie?
Rosalie

Esme or Charlie?
Esme

Charlie or Carlisle?
Carlisle

Charlie or Billy?
Charlie

Jacob or Sam?
Jacob

Sam or Quil?
Sam

Quil or Embry?
Embry

Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?

Victoria

Werewolves or Vampires?
Both

╔══╦══╦══╗ I have been diagnosed
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on your
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you've caught it too!

Girl: Do i ever cross your mind

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: Not really

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl:Choose me or your life

Boy: my life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No it's not.

Please it's too scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: Fine I love you.

Slow down!

Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.

Girl : hugs him

Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? It's bugging me.

Girl: Alright, now slow down

Guy: I love you babe.

(in the paper the next day):

A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. Two

people were on it, but only 1 had survived.

The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his

brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had

her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time, then he had her

wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he

would die.

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 percent of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 percent of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

COPY ME'S

If, for any particular reason you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever run into a door,copy this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

if you have ever tripped up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

f you believe that vampires with powers are cool, copy and paste this onto your profle.

If you think that Emmett is coolio and totally wicked, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't ignore it because the Bible says that If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my father and the glory of Heaven.

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

If you can't stand the Jonas Brothers and want to vomit when girls go goo-goo over them, copy and paste this into you profile

If you're against racism, prejuice, discrimination, or even stereotype, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. 80% of the talking you do today will be to yourself.

If you hate Nickelodeon for not advertising your favorite show enough, then copy this into your profile!

If you want animal neglect and abuse to stop then copy and paste this onto your profile and add your name to the list:

-If you have an annoying younger--or older--sibling, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If, after reading Twilight, you banned any forms of fire from your house(just in case of course), copy and paste this into you profile!

If you have a friend that thinks Twilight is stupid copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love Jasper Hale more than Edward Cullen and if you think that Edward needs to get over himself and stop calling himself a monster, and stop thinking that he is the only one that has problems in Cullen family, and if you think that he needs to just go DIE IN A FREAKING HOLE BECAUSE JASPER WILL ALWAYS BE WAAAY BETTER THAN HIM... Copy and paste this onto your profile...or is that just me?

If you hear the voice of Jasper in your head, put this onto your profile.

If you think that Jasper absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're constantly thinking, "What would Emmett do?", then copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Jasper got out of control in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I cried. everytime jasper came out in the movie)

If you or your best friend (or both) is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.( totally is)

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think that Writers' Block sucks, paste this into your profile.

If u are totally, helplessly addicted to chocolate, put this on ur pro!

If you think Fireflies is an AWESOME song post this on your profile!!

(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination!

You know you're obsessed with the Twilight Series when:
1. you download every song from Stephanie Meyers playlist and listen to them non-stop on your iPod.
2. you dream about it every night.
3. you want to go to Forks for your spring break.
4. you squeal every time you see a silver Volvo, even if it's not your favorite car.
5. you cringe whenever you hear/see Edward's or Bella's name and it has nothing to do with Stephenie Meyer.
6. you've ceased to believe that vampires actually have fangs or any weakness. And you believe all vampires must be inherently hot.
7. you're counting down the minutes until Breaking Dawn comes out.
8. you quote lines from the books for use in your everyday speech.
9. you solidly believe your boyfriend is a vampire simply on the basis that he's sexy.
10. you refer to your ideal boyfriend as an "Edward."
11. you pre-order your copy of Breaking Dawn at Barnes & Noble.
12. you name your characters after the Twilight characters.
13. you cry because your father used New Moon as a coaster for his drink. (Never again...)
14. you count down the days till Edwards birthday 60 days before it starts.
15. a love song comes on and you immediately think of Edward and Bella.
16. you have bought both the audio books.
17. you have bought t-shirts from .
18. you relate even the weirdest things to the book.
19. you carry the books with you.
20. you go to Forks.
21. you almost faint when you first saw the cover of Eclispe.
22. you think you can feel Edward beside you while you're reading(or just doing nothing at all).
23. you talk to nothing but think you're talking to Edward.
24. you stay locked in your room until you've read it over a million times.
25. you start talking to it (the book).
26. you talk to your friends about it...even though they have no idea what you're talking about!
27. you ask them how you know you love the Twilight series even though they STILL don't know what you're talking about.
28. you sleep with the book cradled in your arms.
29. while talking to your friends, they mention something that reminds you of Twilight, and you mutter a joke for Twilight-lovers with super hearing and start laughing your head off.
30. you are highly considering naming your future children the characters names.
31. in class, you relate every project to something in the book.
32. the name Edward becomes your new favorite guy name.
33. you didn't let anybody else touch your books.
34. you and your boyfriend call each other "Edward" and "Bella".
35. you sit on the roof of your house every night waiting for Edward to come.
36. you name random people at your school the characters' names.
37. you wish for them not to make a Twilight movie because it could never be as good as the book but still want to see it.
38. you start failing in school because either you're reading the Twilight Series. Or you are thinking about Edward and his family.
39. you make a protective cover for your twilight to ensure that you never leave your copy of Twilight when it goes with you to yours friend's house.
40. you create a debate in class over Edwards "perfection"
41. you and your friends try to guess the entire plot to Breaking Dawn.
42. you refer to it as "The Black and Red Bible"
43. you start imagining scenes from the books in your head before you go to bed.
44. you try to compare a lot of things to the book.
45. your cry at sad parts of the book... Even though you've read it 20 times

Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up.

Friends will always be like "well, you deserve better", but best friends will prank call him whispering "seven days..." (Ha Ha I've done that!!)

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected; a best friend walks up to him and says "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" (Done that too...)

A friend will bail you out of jail; a best friend will be in the room next to you saying "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!

A good friend helps you when you fall. A best friend laughs and trips you again.

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, dang I'm gonna miss you Buddy

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how?)

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought?...)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

On NytolSleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)’ from the profile of Nocturna Princess

"When life hands you lemons, throw them back and demand Edward Cullen."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor but since Carlisle is cute, screw the fruit."

"I'm not easily distracted I-Hey, is that guy sparkling!"

10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen:

10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent.

9.Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.

8.Ask if blondes really do have more fun.

7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.

6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.

5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.

4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?

3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.

2.Call him McSteamy or McDreamy.

And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?

1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”

10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale:

10. Beg him not to eat you.

9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen.

8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.

7.Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him JasparCullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must havegone to his brain.

6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.

5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood.

4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts.

3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”.

2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction.

And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale?

1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style.

10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen:

10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9.Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically pedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7. Ask how Tanya is.

6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.

4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

3.Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2.Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg himnot to go, not again.

And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen?

1.Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.

10 ways to annoy Emmett Cullen:

10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist.

9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth.

8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship.

7. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake.

6.Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in.

5. Inquire as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male.

4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed.

3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that jeep.

2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles

And the Number One way to annoy Emmet Cullen?

1.When he denies the abovetow claims, respondwith "That's not what Rosalie saaaaaid!"

10 ways to annoy Alice Cullen:

10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to "Jump for them."

9. Tell her if she were just a few centimeters shorter she could legally be a midget.

8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can.

7. Tie her up in a straight jacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.

6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan "I'm melting."

5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.

4.When she gets a vision, ask if her "spidey senses" are tingling

3. Trip her and ask her if she saw it coming.

2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes.

And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?

1.E-mail her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines.

10 ways to annoy Bella Swan:

10. Ask about Eric.

9. Ask about Mike.

8. Ask about Jacob.

7. Ask about Edward.

6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the white pages she looked for fake fan boys.

5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.

4.Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her... happy.

3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong and, she should stop with her weird fetishes.

2. Tell her we all know the real reason she married Edward- the honeymoon.

And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?

1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Video tape the reaction.

10 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale:

10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment.

9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face.

8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”

7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great.

6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”

5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways.

4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face.

3.Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face.

2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her.

And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale?

1.Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” by The Police. When she asks why the hell you did

10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen:

10.Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses.

9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc.

8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel?

7.Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor Dreamy”

6.Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or phedophile.

5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramel milkshake.

4.Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction.

3.Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off.

2. Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman.

And the Number One way to annoy Esme Cullen?

1.Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail.

10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black:

10. Never use English around him – instead, bark.

9. Call him a space heater.

8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners.

7.Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet.

6. Inform him that real men sparkle.

5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage.

4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesn’t find him hot.

3. Inquire as to how Leah is… and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella.

2. Ask him if he likes to do things… doggy style.

And the Number One way to annoy Jacob Black?

1. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human.

10 Reasons Why I Love Jacob Black

1. Taylor Lautner (Enough said)

2. He’s hot (in more ways than one)

3. He’s tall, dark, and handsome

4. He’s sarcastic

5. He has a big heart

6. He tells great blonde jokes

7. He stuck by Bella (even though I don’t think she really deserved it)

8. He’s an Alpha

9. He’s not afraid to die

10. He’s naked after he phases (Maybe this should be #2)

45 ways to annoy a non-harry potter fan:

1).Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter books or movies.

2).Crowd their in box with Harry Potter related emails, make the subject misleading.

3). Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their b-day and demand they cherish it 4-ever.

4). Pretend you can do magic.

5).Yell "CRUCIO" whenever they insult Harry Potter.

6).If your late for something blame it on your broken time turner.

7).Sort every person you meet in to one of the four houses.

8).Say "Lumos" every time you turn on a light.

9).If your asked to retrieve something shout "Accio" loudly.

10).Every time they try something sneaky, say "Moody could have his eye on you" in an ominous voice.

11).Spend hours at a time trying to make your broom fly.

12).Tap all brick walls you encounter with an umbrella.

13).Demand to know what exactly the function of a rubber duck is.

14).Carry around a hip flask and refuse to drink anything anyone else offers you.

15).Hum the Harry Potter theme song all day long.

16).Talk to animals and insist that they're animagi.

17).Walk up to random people and ask if their initials are R.A.B.

18).Then tell them that they're almost as smart as Grawp.

19).Refuse to tell them who Grawp is.

20).Whenever it gets foggy outside scream "The Dementors are coming!" and hide for days at a time.

21).Point at modern electronic devices and say "Look at that! The things these muggles come up with!"

22).Point and grunt and insist that your speaking troll.

23).Take them to a CD store and make them look for the new Weird Sisters Album.

24).Always speak with a British accent, especially if your not from the U.K.

25).Draw round glasses and a lightening bolt scar on every poster you come across.

26).Constantly compare them to Mrs.Figg.

27).Laugh evilly if they ask who Mrs.Figg is.

28).Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move.

29).Break any awkward silences by saying "How 'bout them Chudley Canons."

30).Say "Alhomora" every time you open a door.

31).Every time you see them demand an explanation of why they don't like harry potter.

32).Say everything in a sing-song voice like Luna Lovegood.

33).Shriek loudly and say that you're speaking Mermish.

34).If they ask you about the weather solemnly say, "Mars is bright tonight."

35).Pretend your under an invisibility cloak and shout "You can't see me!"

36).Knit them a maroon jumper every year, especially if maroon isn't there color.

37).Draw the sign of the Hallow on every surface in the house.

38).While playing chess with them, stare at your pieces and give them verbal commands.

39).Throw the chess board across the room when the pieces don't move.

40).When one of the movies is on TV remind them every five minutes.

41).Refer to random people as "You Know Who."

42).Start swatting at the air saying there's a wrackspurt around.

43).Ask them to help you study for your O.W.L.'S

44).Walk around bumping into walls explaining your looking for the Room of Requirement.

45).Run up to random men with long dark hair and scream "SIRIUS! I always knew you were alive!"

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done? If so, scroll down (don't cheat--)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose... California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded

Please read and review for all my stories. Thanks!