I'm 29, married and should have far better things to do than read and write fan fiction, but I found myself getting frustrated with the script writers on ER and had to see what else was out there. If you twist my arm I will admit that many years ago I wrote fan fic for Sunset Beach (Gabi and Antonio, for those of you that remember it, mine weren't quite as wobbly as the sets were!), and I dalied with Dawsons Creek (Pacey and Joey), though as far as I can remember I never got as far as writing any as far as that was concerned. I'm convinced my husband thinks I'm mad because I'd rather spend the evening reading ER fan fic than watching the TV, but I think his obsession with sports is slightly crazy as well, so I think we're even there! As far as ER fic goes, it has to be Neela and Ray (don't like the nicknames, they bug me!), which is very weird because for a while I was all for Neela and Gates getting together, but something changed, and I'm convinced I missed a few key parts of season 12 (I've rectified this now) which would have swayed my views much earlier.

Who am I really? I'm a dreamer, a fantasiser, with my eyes closed or with them open shrouded in haze, when I'm on my own or part of a crowd, I take part in torrid love affairs, grand adventures. I scale oceans, I kiss strangers in the shadows, I love, and am loved, passionately, intensely with everything I am. I am anything but ordinary. I grace red carpets, I paint epic masterpieces, I scribe the most fulfilling novels, I host decadent dinner parties, I jet away on a whim, all in all I live.

In reality, in the bare light of day, my life's a little more prosaic. I work in IT, I practice meditation and swim, I like doing crafty things: sewing, knitting, card making, jewellery making, anything that lets me get messy, but nothing that really stretches my horizons. I'm good at what I do, I'm friendly, approachable, unthreatening. I'm a loyal friend, I'm dependable. I live a good life, a decent life but its nothing special. One day I want to be able to say I truly lived, that I saw the whole world, not through words and pictures, not through someone elses eyes, but through my own, that I saw, felt, tasted experienced everything I could. For now, I'm a work in progress, a girl, trying desperately to fight her way through the fear to the other side, one day I hope to get there, I'll let you know when I do.