A/N: When I thinned out my stories I decided that the ones I simply couldn't take down, but still didn't meet with my personal standards would be updated.

So this story may be different then when you read it the first time. :)

Leo McGarry was dead.

Matt Santos did not know what to worry about first.

"Wait Annabeth, what's? What's happened to Leo?" Lou hadn't even been able to make out her words when Annabeth had called. She'd quickly hit speaker phone just before she burst out with it.

"He died. I went to wake him and he was dead!" Matt had spun on his heals, his eyes falling on Josh who had dropped wordlessly into a chair.

"What?" Lou had said quietly picking up the receiver.

Josh had stumbled back into his chair like he had been physically hit, before his face glazed over and he starting to list off things that needed to be done.

Matt had tried to regain control. He'd stood and put his hand on Josh's shoulder only to have him pull away, yanking himself to his feet unsteadily.

"Give me the phone." Josh said absently. "We need to.. W- We need to.." He stopped for a minute before bending at the waist, a hand on each knee.

Then it had been Lou interrupting his impending spew of instructions.

"I'll take care of it. Josh go upstairs." She'd looked at him sternly.

"No, there's stuff that needs to be-. We've got to.." His eyes were gone, staring at something very far away.

"You can not possibly do your job right now." Lou hissed, standing in front of him until he looked at her. "I've got it, Josh."

Matt waited for Josh to yell, instead he nodded, making his way out the door. Matt turned his face to Josh's assistant who was already on the phone.

"How fast can you get here?" He almost yelled into the phone as he walked out of the room.

...

It was an hour later that Donna Moss had crashed through the door, followed by Santos' wife.

"Donna, I am so sorry." Matt started to comfort her, but she frustratedly slammed her phone shut and began looking around the room.

"Josh." She demanded making eye contact with the Congressmen. "Where is Josh?"

"He's upstairs. We thought it was-" Matt was stopped again by Donna's controlled voice.

"Room number?" She demanded to Josh's assistant with her hand outstretched. He mumbled out the number, looking down at her hand. "KEY!"

The boy quickly complied. Santos decided keeping Josh's second key card must have been on the list of 'How to handle Josh' he knew that Donna had given him. She held the key card in her hand, looking up at Lou quickly.

"You got this? Because if this-." Donna's emotional state was lost somewhere between rage and fear, Santos noticed. The only sentiment in her voice however was Josh-like determination.

"I've got it. Donna." Lou met her eyes and Donna nodded curtly before heading for the elevators.

If she hadn't looked up in time, she might have tripped over him.

He sat on the ground his head resting on the door, knees sticking out crookedly in either direction. His hands gripped the sides of his head like he did when he was panicked.

"Josh?" She said softly. He looked up at her with glassy eyes, his lips parted.

"Donna?" The words came out of his mouth in a slow breath, lips unmoving as if he didn't have the energy to speak. Donna new that voice, it broke her heart how many times she'd had to hear it. She walked over to him dropping in front of him. "I just tried to call you."

"Why are you sitting out here?" She ran the back of her hand across his cheek. He held up his key card, looking at her with his lost eyes.

"I can't-. You know how I can't ever-.I couldn't…" She took the card from him and opened the door, she felt him take the hand that had been hanging at her side in both of his. Rubbing her fingers with his thumbs. "Donna.."

"Come on." She urged softly. "Lets get you out of the hall."

He nodded as she let him slip into the room ahead of her, pulling her in behind him before sitting defeated on the end of the bed.

"I did this to him." She had been waiting for it, it was why she'd rushed here, all the while dialing his number over and over.

"No. Josh, you did not." She put her hands on his shoulders pushing him back to get a look at his face. "This is not your fault Josh. It is not your fault."

"I made him do this Donna, he wasn't strong enough and I made him.."

"No one makes Leo McGarry do anything, Josh." She interrupted.

"Made." He said softly looking up at her, tears pooling in his eyes. "No one made Leo do anything." She took his face in her hands and wiped the tears off his cheeks.

"You are not responsible for this." She pushed her eyes into his, trying to convince him. "They're saying he had a brain aneurysm, Josh. It wasn't a heart attack."

"I'm a jinx or a curse or something." He said looking away from her. "Everything I touch goes to hell. Everyone I love leaves me."

"Joshua, that is not true." She said sternly, pulling her head up to her face again.

"Every one I love, every one I count on leaves. Even you." His voice broke as he closed his eyes to keep from looking at her.

"But I came back." She insisted. "Joshua, look at me." His eyes slipped open, tears sliding down his cheeks. "I came back."

"I told him I couldn't do this with out him." She moved her fingers across his scalp as he spoke, hypnotizing him to relax. "Donna, What if I really can't do this with out him?"

"You can and you will." She tilted his head back up to hers. "We will Josh."

"I have to tell my mom." He whispered. "I should call my-." Donna nodded.

"I called CJ, she's going to call everyone else." Donna whispered. He started to protest that CJ was not allowed to talk to Toby, she put her finger up to his lips. "I talked to Sam, he's calling Toby."

"I don't know what to do." He admitted softly.

"You'll call your mom. Then your going to take a shower, eat some dinner and then lie down." He opened his mouth to argue but she pressed her finger tighter. "Let Lou take care of it for a little while."

"Leo died?" He asked her, his head shaking back and fourth slowly.

Donna laid her chin on the top of his head, and took a deep breath before pressing a kiss to his hairline.

"Call your mom." She ordered. "Before she hears it on the news."

She was right, he needed a shower. He let the hot water pound against his face as he tried to go through a mental check list. His mind kept drifting back to Leo; eight years ago tempting him to listen to Bartlett speak, thanking him for his help when he'd momentarily lost his sobriety, holding Donna in his arms at the hospital after he was shot. He remembered the story of the man in the hole. As long as I have a job, you have a job.

She could cry now. Donna listened to the shower running on the other side of the door through her tears until it stopped. She dried her eyes and focused on helping Josh. She'd pulled out his pajama pants and a T-shirt and hung them with a towel on a hook in the bathroom. She'd ordered room service and called his doctor, then the pharmacy.

Josh came out of the bathroom and sat down on the bed.

"You want to see?" He whispered, gesturing tot he TV. Donna nodded flipping on MSNBC, before turning towards the soft knock on the door.

The hotel worker pushed in the food cart, as Josh watched a montage of Leo's greatest hits fill the screen. He didn't notice the room service, or the man handing Donna a small white bag that she had to sign for. He was engrossed in the photos flashing on the screen when Donna handed the young man a tip.

"Thank you." Her melodic voice rang.

"Thank you, Mrs. Lyman." Only then did he look up. Donna smiled at the boy as she closed the door behind him.

"That hasn't happened in a while." He said to her softly.

"Yeah." She said for a moment still facing the door. It used to happen all the time. Staff at restaurants; hotels, the hospitals they'd both been in, in fact almost everywhere, had assumed, at one time or another, that Donna was his wife. She'd always loved it when that happened. She'd never corrected them and neither had he. It was an acknowledgment of what they were to each other, who the could have been. "It's been a long time."

"Come watch this with me." He moved his hand to the spot beside him and she obediently complied, bringing the tray of food and the bag with her. She looked at Leo on the screen.

She'd seen him just yesterday, she and Helen were headed to a college campus south of Chicago. Leo was going to St. Louis. They would meet up in Chicago with Josh and Santos in two days. He'd asked her how it was going. She'd smiled at him reluctantly.

Give him time. Leo had said. He'll let his guard back down. Donna, he needs you.

She knew that Leo had brought her here.

Lou had hired her, but only because Leo had asked her to.

Things were getting hard for Josh and they were only going to get worse. He need her on board. Despite the fact he couldn't seem to bring himself to hire her.

Donna looked at Josh now, his eyes blurry and red, taking in the moments from Leo's life flashing on the screen. He felt her gaze, lacing his fingers around hers, eyes never breaking from the TV. She removed the plate cover from the chicken sandwich she'd ordered, holding it up to him. He took a bite before tilting it back towards her. She leaned over and took a bite of her own before laying her head on Josh's shoulder.

They'd sat there for a long time watching. Will announced Leo's death formally from the White House Pressroom. Fielding questions about how, who knew when and what it meant for the campaign. That's when Donna turned the TV off. Josh looked at her broken hearted.

"Not tonight."

"We need to say something."

"I'm sure we have. Lou's taking care of things." Josh looked like he might argue until he watched her wrestled with the bag beside her, producing two prescription bottles.

She watched him as their eyes met, waiting for him to argue and say he didn't need them. Instead he blew out a long breath and cupped his hand out for her. She dropped two pills into it as he reached for the glass beside him.

"What's the blue one?" He asked recognizing the other.

"It's to help you sleep." She said simply, he nodded at her.

"Are you going to stay?" His voice was shy and unsure. She felt the guilt returning to her chest.

"You want me to?" Of course he does.

"Of course I do." He was thankful she had said want and not need. "You always do."

She had always stayed on the nights he had to take the small beige pill. It started in the ER on Christmas eve. The nurse had handed them to Donna.

"Your husband's doctor called these in. He said to make sure he took one before he went to sleep tonight and then the rest of them are as necessary. You should watch him closely to make sure he tolerates them okay."

Donna had nodded, slipping far to easily into the devoted wife persona. She'd stayed that night with him. She'd stayed for two weeks, carefully watching him for any sign that he could possibly consider hurting himself again. The PTSD had scared her, in a way even more than the shooting. After the shooting he was still Josh. With the PTSD, he was scary and unpredictable.

She was scared again now. She knew this was going to be harder for Josh. She knew why he walked so fast

"Come on." She instructed, pulling back the covers and watching him slip underneath them. She laid next to him on the bed for a while, stroking his hair as the medicine and sleepless nights lulled him deeper into unconsciousness.

"Donna?" He had whispered it at some point before he was finally asleep.

"I'm right here." She assured him. Only when she was completely sure he was out, she slipped into the bathroom, turned the shower on and cried.

Helen Santos had thought her first ride on one of the Boeing VC-25 would be as Air Force one. It would have been more exciting, she thought. She had known Leo McGarry personally for less than a year. She had known Josh Lymann a bit longer and Donna Moss a bit less. She could tell by the way Josh responded to Donna, Leo had been right.

It was little over a month ago. Honestly? Only a month? It felt so much longer than that. She, Leo and Matt had been having 'the Donna conversation', without knowing a thing about Donna.

"He got us into this and now he's falling apart!" She had yelled at Leo and her husband. "The staff is scared of him. The press hates him. Hell, I don't like him too much either! He's fired everyone I like."

"He's stressed, Honey. He has a stressful job right now."

"Well I'm sure Leo's cardiologist can tell us all what a stress free position 'Chief of Staff' is!" She'd yelled.

"Helen!" Matt had been shocked. Leo had just smiled.

"It's taken care of." He'd said in a light voice.

"What do you mean?" Matt had asked. Helen thought how strange it was how he had gone from trusting Josh about Leo, to now trusting Leo about Josh.

"He hasn't been working to his potential. Something's been missing." Leo had said calmly. "But that's about to change." Helen was about to go off again when Matt cocked his head.

"How did we get back what he was missing?" The presidential candidate had asked. A long slow smirk had formed on Leo's face.

"I had Lou hire her this afternoon."

He was right. Josh listened to Donna. She could disarm him, put him in his place like no one else. She also seemed to anticipate his every thought. Helen had seen her, on more than one occasion, nonchalantly handing a frantic Josh his 'missing file' while she was still on the phone. She never missed a beat. Helen had seen the list she'd handed Josh's current assistant and the looks of disgust she tossed at him when he screwed it up. She'd seen the way Josh looked at her before making decisions, as if the mere sight of her allowed him to focus. It made had almost made her jealous.

She glanced over at them now, they sat facing the area where she was sitting. She was on the phone, his head resting on her shoulder, as she lazily brushed his hair off of his fore head. This plane was there turf, they were calm here. Helen knew Donna was talking to CJ Craig.

"Yeah, he's here." She tilted the phone towards Josh.

"Hey CJ. I know. Hang, on we're coming." He sounded much stronger than he looked at this moment, tangled up in the long limbs of the someone he'd been missing. "We'll be home in two hours."

Helen realized that for the first time, that it was home for them, DC and the White House. It was where they had lived and worked for years. It was the place that Josh seemed to be frantic to return to and now she knew why. It was where he could be closest friendships had been there. Their family, and that family had become scattered, fragmented and frustrated, and it had just lost it's patriarch. She watched Josh now, adjusting how they were sitting until Donna's head was on his chest and he was brushing his hands through her hair.

"She's so scared, Josh. She's worried about the President, she's worried about Toby." Donna's voice broke into soft tears.

"Danny's there. We'll be there soon."

"I don't want to go home first, okay? Can we just go right to the White House." She pleaded. Helen raised her eyes at the word home. Just how close where they?

"That's fine. I'll have Bram take our stuff to the townhouse." That close, huh? Helen thought.

"I'm glad we had Ellie's wedding." She smiled at that. "We all got to be together."

"Almost." He added.

"Will they let him come to the funeral?" Donna's voice squeaked out of her throat. Zigler. They were talking about Toby Zigler.

"I don't know, Donna." Josh sighed leaning his head back against the seat. "You should sleep. We won't be there for an hour or so."

"You should sleep." It amazed Helen that Donna could sound both patronizing and concerned at the same time.

"I know." Josh let the word out in a sigh that made Donna gather his hand in hers.

"We won't thought." She was almost asleep already. Helen saw Josh smile, realizing that.

"We can sleep tonight when we get home." He told her. We can sleep… when we get home.

"We won't do that either, Joshua. Not after everyone gets there." She was very clearly falling asleep.

Joshua? Helen suddenly felt like she was in the middle of a very private conversation. One being held in a normal speaking voice in a very public place, but private just the same. Josh and Donna were used to this plane being filled with noisy people, deep in there own important business. Not a room with just a few quiet grievers. It had never occurred to them to speak softly.

"That's why you should sleep now, Donnatella." Josh's voice was playful. Helen Santos had never heard him sound playful. "I'll need 're going to have to prop me up by the end of this. Sleep for me."

"Okay." Her lips barely moved with the word as she gave into her fatigue.

Helen Santos had never heard Josh admit that he may in fact need anyone either. She realized she had also never seen Josh alone with the woman he loved until now. Josh turned out the light above them and starred out the window.

"Margaret?" Danny heard Josh Lyman say quietly. He craned his head towards the door to see Josh and Donna walk in. The woman rose to meet them, her soaked face breaking into a whole new flood of tears. Donna walked ahead of Josh to catch Margaret in her arms before Josh had to.

Josh smiled at Danny Conncanon moving around in side. He walked towards the entry way of the Garden Room as Danny waved him in.

"Josh." CJ began softly, rising to her feet. "Oh, Josh." He hugged CJ. Looking helplessly at Danny who looked down at the floor. She released him from her grip and turned towards Donna who had just entered the room. "Welcome back."

"I didn't think we'd be back this soon." She squeezed CJ tighter. "I wish we didn't have to be."

"How is he?" Josh asked as CJ and Donna parted. He pointed towards the residence. Donna slipped back beside Josh, sitting on the edge of the desk behind him. Danny put his hand on CJ's shoulder at the mention of Bartlett.

"Not good." She closed her eyes again, then looked to Danny.

"Charlie just took him back upstairs. The First Lady's on her way back from Spain with Zoë." Danny told them. "Ellie's turning around and heading back from Acapulco. Liz is still down south. She's trying to get back here. Honestly, I think she doesn't want to be the first one back after everything."

"God help us if there's a national emergency, Josh." CJ choked. "We were a skeleton crew before this, and now we're just falling apart."

Danny saw Josh tense, his guilt and duty radiating through him.

"You've gotten through things like this before, CJ. We all have." Donna said softly put her hand on Josh's back. "I know we can't help you, but we can support you as best we can."

"We can at least get you Charlie back." Josh mumbled. "Would that help?" Donna silently pleaded with CJ to nod and sighed in relief when she did.

"He looks better than I thought he would." CJ whispered to Danny as they walked away.

"He's got Donna." Danny said smiling at her. "And you have me."

Debbie sat guard, next to the two Marines and Secret Service agents outside of the residence. Her eyes lit up when she saw them, together again, walking towards her.

"If you guys aren't a site for sore eyes!" She gathered them both up in a hug.

"How is he?" Josh said softly looking towards the residence.

"How do you think?" Debbie walked in a head of them.

Josh took Donna's hand and walked towards the door.

"Sir? Josh and Donna here to see you."

"Send them in." Debbie was struck by Charlie's voice answering. It broke her heart. She glanced back at Josh, his eyes were closed, he'd noticed it too. Donna reached up and touched his chest with her free hand.

"Let's go."

Debbie watched them walk in before closing the door and returning to her self appointed spot in the security detail.

Charlie Young noticed how Donna was pulling Josh into the room, despite her efforts to make it look to the contrary. The guilt literally seemed to be radiating from him, Charlie could feel it. He watched the President stand up to meet them with shaky step. He saw Donna reach her hand out to steady him, making it look like a gesture of greeting. Apparently Josh's pride was not the only one she was protecting these days.

Josh looked at him out of the corner of his eye and Charlie nodded, trying to reassure the man who had given him his chance. He realized that Leo was the one who had done that for Josh and his heart ached for him.

No wonder he looks so lost. Josh had stiffened a little as Donna had released his hand to 'catch' Bartlett. It made Charlie wish harder that Zoë was here.

Today, his future-son-in-law status had propelled him to the head of the line. With no one else present, he was the First Family. He had stood by Bartlett many times in the past as his assistant, but being here as his family was different. He noted though, that Donna did not seem to have the same problem being Josh's family.

Perhaps she had more practice. They had weathered more tragedies, Charlie was sure of that. They also didn't really have actual family, at least not that they spoke to on a regular basis. Maybe that's why she had always seemed to blur the line from employee to family with out any awkwardness.

Charlie had always done it, Bartlett was the father he had never had, but it had always been just a little bit awkward. He was ready for the rest of his in-laws to return.

Donna had turned away from the President, leaving him to sit on the couch with Josh. She slipped over towards Charlie now.

"How's he been?" She asked him.

"Not good." It was Charlie's usual flat tone, punctuated only by his expressive brown eyes. Zoë had told him that when the President had taken a bullet for the color of Charlie's skin, Abby Bartlett had been shocked when all he had said was 'oh'. That was, she had later told her daughter, until she saw his eyes. He should watch that, he'd thought at the time, but he never had learned how. "I've had the nurse up here twice just to check him out. He hasn't complained about that at all and that's just scary."

"Josh took his meds last night, no argument." Donna breathed, falling back into the assistant gossip mode that she and Charlie knew so well.

"Leo would be shocked at this." Charlie wondered how expressive his eyes had become with that statement. Donna's look turned nostalgic and he had his answer.

"The President looks worse than I expected, Charlie." She admitted.

"Josh looks better than I expected." He watched her smile

"For now." Donna said ominously, wandering back over to where Josh sat with POTUS. She sat on the back of the couch behind Josh. Charlie watched them, wishing for his future mother-in-law to get here faster.

Jed Bartlett felt old.

Not just physically, but mentally. His best friend was dead. He regretted that he had not been by Leo's side, or even in the same state, for most of his final days, months even. He wondered if he had given Leo sound advice. The kind that he had always given, Jed. He wondered if it had all finally caught up with his dear friend the way it was catching up with himself. He remembered long ago, after some petty fight with Leo about the state of the world or something, he was leaving the white house for the State of the Union. He was leaving it in the charge of someone so far down the line of succession he wasn't even sure of the man's name. He had known Leo was at the door close enough to listen. He knew that he was hours from being able to give his friend a proper apology for what ever he may have said. So he had simply told the truest statement he could think of.

Do you have a best friend? Is he smarter than you? Do you trust him with your life? That's your chief of staff.

Now that man was gone. The man who had brought him here, brought them all here. The man that had made them a family, brought Josh to Donna, Charlie to Zoë and Danny to CJ. The man who had sacrificed his own marriage for these people, for his country. The man who stood behind him for so many years. The man behind the curtain to Jed Bartlett's wizardry. At least that's how Jed felt at this very moment. Incomplete, lost and floundering with out Leo to be his compass.

"Josh," He began with a strong voice hoping to ease the burden the younger man was carrying. "Leo truly thought of you as a son. He believed in you and trusted you in the truest way. He will be proud of what you accomplish, no matter what the outcome." Donna was wiping tears from her face when the President looked up and her and winked. "He would also want you to know that there are things in this world that are more important than politics and presidencies. He wouldn't want you to loose site of that." He did not miss the way that Josh had unconsciously leaned back into Donna when he said that, and it pleased him. "We can give you everything we've got. Getting Matt into the White House was Leo's last great challenge, and I'll help you see that through any way that I can." Screw his own legacy, Jed thought to himself. This was about Leo's. He stood up, thankfully a little more stable this time, and started towards the stairs. "I'm sure the whole gang's down there waiting on you all. If you'll excuse me. I have some calls to make."

If they knew he was lying they did a good job of humoring him. Of course that had been part of their jobs for a long time. He leaned over and kissed Donna on the cheek.

"Take good care of him, as usual." He whispered and she smiled at him. He shook Josh's hand and started across the floor as Charlie opened the door for them.

"Charlie, go with them." His future-son-in-law started to protest, but he waved him off. "Send Debbie in to sit and stare at me for a while."

"Yes, Sir." He answered.

"Oh, and Josh?" Lymann turned around with his guilt ridden eyes. "Leo was hard on his body for years. It was bound to catch up with him. This isn't your fault."

"Thank you, Sir." His voice betrayed him somewhere in the middle of his gratitude and he turned around to face the door. Donna reached out her fingers towards him and he caught them as they left the room.

Jed saw Debbie scurry in, looking up at him concerned. He smiled at her warmly.

"Debbie have I ever told you how I became President of the United States?"