I am Maria.

I am very silly.

This isn't really Maria. This is her friend who read her profile thingy and thought she'd delete it all as an act of mercy. I am wonderful.

Maria is a bit stupid but very adorable. Think Ringo Starr, except she can't play the drums and her nose isn't QUITE as big (it's nearly there though). She's eighteen, but she doesn't act it. She doesn't look it either but she gets very sad when you say that to her. So say it a lot!

She likes celery but we know she's lying just to be 'quirky' and 'different.' What a cock.

She likes that show. The one about the aliens. Then there's some gay guys. Oh, and they're Welsh but that's not quite as important as the gay thing. Oh, there's also a chinese sort of lesbian who hooks up with a straight welsh man but no one cared about them, until they died. Uh, she likes the shows that this one came from. The one about Hamlet in a police box and that girl who sang that song, but then she goes away and there's a black girl who is much awesomer. Then Lauren Cooper travels with him. Oh, and he changes appearence when he dies, but that's not important. ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT HE'S GONE NOW AND THE GUY THAT REPLACED HIM IS NOT HIM! If that makes sense...

She used to like a show about teenagers in mini-skirts, but she was like 14 at the time so she wasn't being a peadophile.I can't remember what the show was like...they were Japanese but blonde. One was crazy or something and another died of a disease, but maybe that was something else. Oh and they lived on the moon...or they did. Fuck me I don't know! They WERE in the navy though! I think.

She also likes Star Trek, THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH! But she's only seen three episodes of TOS and the new movie so she's crap. She's also NOT in complete love with Patrick Stewart so she's irrelevant to life forever now. What's Star Trek about? Gays in space. Or, orgies in Space. I dunno, I read too much Star Trek fanfiction.

THERE POINTED EARED PEOPLE THOUGH! PLUS POINTS!

She's not a lesbian. But she does have a very long list of girls she would bone. I am on there, even if she wont admit it

Her taste in music is a bit crap but she likes the Beatles so it's not THAT crap. Uh...she likes that band that whine a lot. LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH OR I'LL KEEP SINGING. You know? Nicklequarter or something. Nicklecrap. Whatev. She also likes Westlife, but...we don't talk about that.

Also the macarena and YMCA which she dances to everyday as a religious celebration of CAMP!

She wishes she was a fag hag, but her friendship group is made up of white, middle class, straight kids so she's pretty damn horrible to all ethnicities. The racist. She thinks all Japanese people and Chinese people are 'the same anyway' and that Gypsy babies will steal your bag if you don't look at it. Kidding, she's very loving to all ethnicites. She's a socialist, you know? Joe Stalin is her idol. A very nice man. Ok...Trotsky, he was nice? Until the whole ice pick to the head thing, but he's awesome. FOR A COMMIE!

She wears hats. Lots of hats. But I got my hat off a dead person so it's much better.

She also hates all women because she secretly wishes she was a boy so that her daddy would love her. But she's getting over that ever since she got a boyfriend...who dumped her a day before her birthday. Don't worry, we were all very nice...for about an hour. Oh the jokes.

Read her stories! They don't read like shopping lists at all! It's not like our History teacher actually facepalmed at her coursework or anything. She's very smart ;)

But honestly, she's lovely. A bit mad, but lovely. Fan Fiction is probably not something she needs to be spending her time on but she's a loser so whatever.

READ AND RATE HER SAILOR MOON FAN FICTION! IT'S THE BEST COMEDY SERIES I HAVE EVER READ!

I am a reptile who spent 5 years of my life the same colour as a wall due to being laughed at for being pink.

I am a reptile who's cold reptilian ways got him kicked out of the BBC.

I am a reptile who's own mother attempted to eat her as as baby.

I am a reptile who stalked this earth, MILLIONS of yers ago only to be wiped out by a commet.

If you are against discrimination against reptiles, post this on your page thingy.

If you love Noel Fielding and would totally dress up as Howard Moon for him, post this on your page thingy.

You know you wear hats when:

You could make a t-shirt out of hat tags.

You carry a comb with you because of hat hair.

Most people have shoe closets. You have a hat attic.

Your shoes are recycled hats.

Hats haunt your dreams.

If you haven't bought a hat for a week you begin shaking and eating yourself.

You kind of look like Ringo when you take your hat off, and it's alright with you.

You know your friends hate you when:

They sneak insults into every day conversation just to laugh privately at you without you knowing.

They have several plans lined up just because they like humiliating you.

A common topic is 'SHIT MARIA'S COMING!' I mean 'SHIT friend IS COMING.'

There are groups on Facebook dedicated to you. Of course they're full of hate.

There's a bitch ranking system in the group, and you rank below the grumpy old man and the slut. You can only beat the skinny kid with a speech problem.

You know you suck when:

Your name is Maria