Hi I’m AwsomelyChubby (previously Windwaker99) and I’ve just started my very first fanfic!

It’s called “Of Angsty Teens and Alcoholic Agents”

It’s a Resident Evil fic, since it’s one of my favorite video games, please read and enjoy!

About Me

Age: In College

Gender: Female

Appearance: Secret

Facts: I love food, movies, games, books, anime, and music. I recently found out about my passion for writing (AKA I got tired of not seeing the shit I actually want to read) and decided to try my hand at writing stories themselves. I am completely open to constructive criticism and will happily try to make my writing better. I write for my own enjoyment as well as your own. (If you're just gonna be mean Imma ignore you)

Another thing I am currently NOT taking requests since I want to mainly focus on my first story. BUT I will let you know when I am, thank you for your consideration.

ALSO I started a ao3 account with the same username if you prefer that website, my story is there.

Fandoms That I Love/Like

Games

Devil May Cry (All except 2 and the reboot)

Resident Evil

Kingdom Hearts

Legend of Zelda

Final Fantasy

Detroit: Become Human

Fire Emblem

Tekken

Gravity Rush

Octopath Traveler

Castlevania

Bravely Default

The World Ends With You

Persona

Shadow of the Colossus

Assassin's Creed

Last Of Us

TellTale's The Walking Dead

Life Is Strange

Okami

Chrono Trigger

Anime/TV Shows

Fairy Tail (First one I ever saw)

Rave Master (read this manga! I shit you not, this one made me laugh for weeks!!)

One Piece

Hellsing

Fullmetal Alchemist

Akatsuki No Yona

Nanatsu no Taizai

My Hero Acadmia

Rwby

Persona

Castlevania

Ouran High School Host Club

One Punch Man

Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Arrow

Flash

Gotham

Supernatural

Marvel's Daredevil

Marvel's Jessica Jones

Merlin

Voltron: Legendary Defender

Teen Wolf

Books

Maximum Ride

Ink Heart

Percy Jackson

Harry Potter

Hunger Games

Peter and the Star Catchers

A series of Unfortunate events

The Kane Chronicles

The Mortal Instruments

Writers (I saw this on Pinterest and had to post, not made by me. Copy and paste at your own free will!!!!)

Writer says: So I had this crazy idea one day and I just had to work on it. Here ya go!

Writer means: So I had this crazy idea either right before getting in the shower or right before falling asleep so I grabbed my fucking laptop and shat all over it to create the steaming pile of crap that I now lay before you. I don't even know if it's good anymore. I haven't slept in two days.

Writer says: Wow, life getting real busy! Sorry on the slow updates.

Writer means: My life is a literal storm of shit at the moment. Why did I decide to do this? Why am I still doing this? Everything around me is spinning out of control and I am staying up 'til 5:30 in the morning every night to create this piece of work that will only get two comments and 12 demands for quicker updates. I hope no one's mad at me, all I wanted to do was write.

Writer says: Wow! Would you look at that I updated on time! Please enjoy!

Writer means: WOOOOOOHOOOOOO BITCHES LOOK AT THIS PRODUCTIVE ASSHOLE GO YEEEEEHAAAAWWW TAKE THAT YOU NASTY REVIEWERS ALWAYS DEMANDING ME TO BE FASTER! I GOT THIS SHIT I GOT THIS SHIT

Writer says: This chapter was a toughie. Glad it's finally done!

Writer means: I don't know if this is good or not. I honestly don't fucking know. I've read the same words over and over and over again and I just couldn't look at it anymore, My beta said it was okay but I'm not confident but HOLY SHIT I JUST NEED TO STOP WRITING THIS FUCKING CHAPTER.

Writer says: Thanks for reading!

Writer means: Please, oh please oh please oh please leave me a review. A comment. Anything. Please tell me you're out there. Please tell me someone reading this.

Writer says: I just want to say that real life is getting hectic right now. Please try to be patient with me, I know you guys want updates. Thanks!:)

Writer means: FUCK. YOU. Who the fuck do you think you are, demanding shit from me?! You don't know my life! I have a very busy life! I create shit for free, you entitled son of a pig-fucker! STOP LEAVING ME COMMENTS TELLING ME TO UPDATE SOON OT I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL PUKE ALL OVER MY COMPUTER

Writer says: What's gonna happens next? Who knows? Hee hee:)

Writer means: I have no fucking clue what the next chapter is gonna look like. What's my plot? I don't know. I feel no emotion.

Writer says: Please leave a comment it helps me write!

Writer means: I am begging you to leave me a comment because I swear it's the only thing keeping me motivated right now, I hate the work I put out and I need reassurance that people are actually enjoying this.

Writer says: I hope you enjoyed that chapter big things are coming up! :)

Writer means: Buckle up bitches, someone’s gonna die.

Writer says: I know I've missed a few updates, but I swear I plan on finishing this story!

Writer means: *high pitched eternal screaming*

Writer says: Here we are at long last! This has been one wild ride I want to thank you all so much for your support and love, I adore each and every one of you. I am happy to say that this story has come to a wonderful close.

Writer means: My body is numb. Voices call out to me from the void, but I can no longer hear them over the beating of my racing heart. I am stressed to the point where I feel no relief. This story is done. It's fucking DONE. I loved it, I hated it, it was a fucking storm of horror and pain. I can no longer see color. Now I can try to relax and...wait...wait a second...holy shit I just the best idea for a one-shot that totally gonna turn into a 50 chapter slow burn AU fic LET'S FUCKING DO THIS!

Funny/normal Quotes or sayings- (I don't know what to call them -.-' but feel free to copy and paste onto your profile!) - NOT MADE BY ME!

Silence is golden, but duck-tape is silver.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

The road to success is always under construction.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

What you call dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

Duck tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from

He who laughs last didn't get it

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

You know the speed of light;so what is the speed of dark ?

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

"Only two things are infinite, human stupidity, and the universe... And I'm not even sure about the latter."-Albert Einstein

"Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

"There's a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life."

"I don't understand a word you're going on about, but I know exactly what you're saying and I refuse to apologize."

"Nope, no matter how bad things seem, they can't be any better, and they can't be any worse, because that's the way things fucking are, and you better get used to it, Nancy. Quit yer bitching."

"I have a first place ribbon in doing nothing, it's the same color as last place... It's purple."

"We're both of the same breed, after all...Motives for war are not of concern. Religion, ideology, resources, land, spite, love, or just because...no matter how pathetic the reason, it's enough to start war."-Pein

"We are but men, drawn to act in the name of revenge we deem to be 'Justice.' But when we call our vengeance 'Justice,' it only breeds more revenge...forging the first link in the chains of hatred."-Pein

What to do in an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.5) MEOW occasionally.6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly7) SAY -DING at each floor.8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "You will die in seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumbass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - bitch - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DANG!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

IF YOU THINK WRITERS BLOCK SUCKS, COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR PROFILE!!

How to Tell if You're a Writer

-If you talk to yourself.-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.-If people think you might have A.D.D.-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you failed English 101

Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:

1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms

2) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class

4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss

5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda

6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar

7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy

8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"

9) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

10) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches

12) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!"

13) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.

14) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor

15) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental

16) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"

17) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

18) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"

19) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bamf!" every time I apparate.

20) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.

21) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

22) I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.

23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

24) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.

25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.

26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

27) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force".

28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays.

29) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.

30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.

31.)I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore".

32.)House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

33.) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not aclever moneymaking concept.

34.)I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.

35.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.

36.)I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape's private chambers to watch him sing "I Will Survive in the mirror", as it is disturbing.

37.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.

38.)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.

39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

40.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

41.)The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.

42.)I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".

43.)When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.

44.)Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.

45.)A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.

46.) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “

47.)I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.

48.). I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.

49.)Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.

50.)Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.

51.)Calling the Ghost-busters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

52.)I may not have a private army.

53.) I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.

54.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.

55.)I am not the wicked witch of the west.

56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.

57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me.

58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.

59.)I shouldn't use Photo-shop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.

60.)I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.

61.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.

62.) I will not test my Potions assignments by spiking Snape's drink with them.

63.) - Especially not all of them at once.

64.) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."

65.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."

66.)Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.

67.)I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.

68.)When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.

69.)Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.

70.)The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.

71.)I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

72.)Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms.

73.)Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.

74.)I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.

75.)I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.

76.)I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paint-balling.

77.)I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.

78.)I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.

79.)Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.

80.)Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.

81.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

82.)Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".

83.)I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.

84.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.

85.)If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: "The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.

86.) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.

87.)I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.

88.)I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.

89.)I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.

90.)It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says All the good looking ones die young with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.

91.)I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade

92.)I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry

93.)I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall

94.) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."

95.) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.

96.) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.

97.) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.

98.) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.

99.) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."

100.) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.

101.)I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.

102.) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.

103.) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.

104.) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.

105.) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

106.) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.”

107.) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

108.) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.

109.) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmacy exams.

110.) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.

111.) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation.

112.) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants” I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.

113.) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit.

114.) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room.

115.) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.

116.) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.

117.) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks.

118.) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.

119.) A time turner is not a flux capacitator I should therefore not try to install it in a muggle car.

120.) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine.

121.) When fighting death-eaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”.

122.) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become.

123.) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons can not interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be.

124.) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S.

125.) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.

126.) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

127.) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.