Hello random person who stumbled across my profile!!!!

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

"Never apologize for being nerdy, because unnerdy people never apologize for being assholes."- John Barrowman, FandomFest 2013

ABOUT ME:

Name: Hahaha Yeah so not telling you that.

Age: According to my mom "Old enough to know better"

I'm an only child. I love to swim and read. I'm also completely crazy and can't spell.

My Muse is an insanse twisted Cawl (Cat, Owl Hybrid) Named Lilianna.

My Writing:

When I finally get round to posting something you will not see...

Romance: My muse and I are as romantic as rocks. Scratch that rocks are more romantic.

M rated things: Again really only smut seems to get rated M and I don't have that type of skill.

Morals: I have no idea how to work them into a story.

Regular updates: I'm sorry but between real life and my attention span which has been compared to an injured wombat's(don't ask) I simply will not be able to do regular updates.

Abandoned stories: The updates won't be regular but I promise I will finish the stories eventually.

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), NinjasWillRuleTheWorld (Australia),Shadowtheangel (Sweden), Ice Prince Hitsugaya (USA), Gaara of the Desert564 (USA), RebeccaUlquiorraCifer23 (USA), TheCursedOne (Colombia), ArtemisApollo97 (England) PjoHP(Britian), Cariboucapecod(USA)

My Favorite Books:

There is not enough time in the world to read this list.

My Favorite Tv Shows:(In random order)

Merlin(BBC)

Sherlock(BBC)

Criminal Minds(CBS)

Fringe(FOX)

Supernatural(CW)

White Collar(USA)

Psych(USA)

Numb3rs(CBS)

Leverage(TNT)

yeah I watch quite a few tv shows.

Random Time:

Xoxoxo

--IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural
things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that
hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has
legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed
at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites,
and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun
marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay
couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to
marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs
more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight
parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like
ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.
That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model
at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents
to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could
never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to
cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Quotes:

What makes you a man is not the ability to make a child, it's the courage to raise one.-Barrack Obama

Always be sincere. Even if you don't mean it. - Harry S. Truman

If A is a success in life, then A equals X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z is knowing when to keep your mouth shut.- Albert Einstein

Homework: the reason I am not currently ruling the world.

Curiosity was framed. Stupidity killed the cat.

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the Universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a chair has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch it to be sure.(I'm one of those people)

It's better to keep your mouth shut and sound like an idiot than to open it and remove all doubt- Mark Twain

Dear reader suppose you were an idiot. Then suppose you were a member of congress, but I'm repeating myself- Mark Twain

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.(My Motto)

People are like slinkys useless but fun to push down the stairs.(Lilianna's Motto)

First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win. - Mahatma Gandhi

"We are all brothers under the skin and I for one would be willing to skin humanity to prove it."- William Shakespeare

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'mBLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE,When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE.And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

"Don't cry because it's over smile because it happened."-Dr. Seuss

"Always be yourself the people who matter don't mind, and the mind don't matter."- Dr. Seuss

"Now which ever way our stories end know you have rewritten mine by being my friend."-For Good from Wicked

"Silence is golden but duck tape is sliver."

"When life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the rest of the world figure out how the hell you did it."

"Just because you call an electric eel a rubber duck, doesn't make it a rubber duck, does it? And God help the poor bastard who decides they want to take a bath with the duckie." - Jace , City of Bones

Con is the opposite of pro, so Congress the opposite of progress.

"I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned."

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

No Trespassers! Violators will be shot, survivors will be shot again.

Don't thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people (Unless of course you are Zachariah)

"Monsters are real, ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win."-Stephan King

"When you have eliminated the impossible whatever remains no matter how improbable must be the truth."-Sherlock Holmes

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand...

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts, while others come into our lives and make us wanna leave footprints on their face.

"Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend." — Stephen King

"When the love of Hermione's life left her she continued to search for the keys to destroying the worlds most powerful dark wizard. When the love of Bella's life left her she curled up in a fetal position, went numb for months then jumped of a cliff"

Sherlock from a fan - "Steven Moffat was amazed at how sorrowful this fandom is with Sherlock being dead for only two minutes. What he doesn't realize is that we are feeling the sorrow of John who still believes that Sherlock, his Sherlock is dead. We are the fandom who mourns for the living man because he is dead to the one who matters most." - A fan: CelticaRose1

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her one-year-old son. People call her a slut.
Nobody knows she she was raped at the age of 13.
People call another guy fat.
Nobody knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight.
People call an old man ugly.
Nobody knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war.
Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 95% of you won't.

Words of Wisdom:(Stolen from bluemoonmaples)

-Never become a florist if you're allergic to roses.

-If you don't like the cold, humidity, mosquitos, or creepily nice people, then don't move to Minnesota

-Don't be racist! Be like Mario! He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people. He speaks English, looks Mexican, jumps like a black person, and grabs coins like a Jew.

Quotes from Misha Collins(the overlord) and Jared and Jensen(They are awesome enough to deserve their own section):

Rooting out the insidious forces of normalcy is one of my main life objectives-Misha Collins

"It warms the cockles of my heart. Words chosen carefully." - Misha talking about the fandom and impact of Dean/Castiel's relationship.

"He's so cute you know? Like one of those little teddy bears, you just wanna stuff him in your pocket and take him home with you." - Jensen describing Misha

“If I had a taxidermist on my staff I would have him stuff each and every one of you and mount you on my walls, in sort of lifelike, but terrifying poses.”-Misha Collins

"I like that my twits keep someone awake Twitter should be hard-wired to trigger fire alarms, police sirens & strobe lights when I post. No No I'm not mocking you guys I used to sleep too when I was a kid. It's cute... And when I say "cute" I mean "depressing and pathetic."-Misha Collins

Jared: "Eat it, I dare you to eat it, you have to eat it."

Misha: I'm not going to eat it, I'm going to wear it as a wormstache.- Jared Padalecki and Misha Collins on a worm they found.

"Getting people to care is the first step to changing anything"-Misha Collins

“Some actors are famous for great lines like ‘Life is like a box of chocolates’. But not me. No, I get ‘Lucifer, you’re my brother, and I love you. But you are a great big bag of dicks.’”-Richard Speight jr

My friend said these are the quotes that best describe me...

I don't have a short attention span, I just - ooh, a kitty!

I'm not insane . . . I just do whatever the voices tell me to.

The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...

I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.

When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's actually a meteor hurtling toward Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

I'm too tired to punch you. Would you please run your face into my fist repeatedly?

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

Don't upset me - I'm running out of places to put the bodies.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TV/ Movie quotes:

We can't choose what time we have we can only choose what to do with the time we have been given.- Gandalf

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. And hate leads to suffering.-Yoda

"When I was a boy-"
"Oh here we go."
"-my father told me to bang my head against a rock. I did it. I thought it was crazy, but I did it. And you know what happened?"
"You got a headache."
-Stoick and Gobber, HTTYD

"I wonder, if I tell you where I am can I claim the 20 pounds?"-Robin Hood, Robin Hood

"Better to serve a good man the rule with an evil one."-Merlin, Merlin

"Wars don't last forever Henry only war does."-Benjamin "Hawkeye" Pierce, M*A*S*H

Sydney Freeman: "Is it true God answers all prayers?"

Arnold Chandler: "Of course. Sometimes the answer is no."-M*A*S*H

Sam: "A demon summoning why?"

Lucifer: "To summon a demon jackass."-Supernatural

Arthur: "I should warn you I've been trained to kill since birth."

Merlin: "Wow and how long have you been training to be a prat?"

Arthur: "You can't address me like that."

Merlin: "Sorry how long have you been training to be a prat my lord?"-Merlin

"Just because I am on the side of the angels do not think for one second that I am one of them."-Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock

"Hey ass-butt"- Castiel, Supernatural

"Read the bible angels are warriors of God I'm a solider."-Castiel, Supernatural

"Lucifer you're my brother and I love you, but you are a great big bag of dicks."-Gabriel, Supernatural

"So which one are you, Grumpy, Sneezey, or Duchy?"

"Gabriel ok? They call me Gabriel."-Sam and Gabriel, Supernatural

"My Daddy shot your Daddy in the head."- Possesed Sam, Supernatural

You don't have to be ruled by fate. You can choose freedom. And I still believe that's something worth fighting for.-Castiel, Supernatural

Quotes from my friends and I:

Mairay: "I will die, you will die, Michelle will die..."

Me: "Yes, yes she will."

Michelle: "Wow that got really sinister really quickly."- My friends and I

Michelle: "I can go as Sherlock you can go as Watson and (My real name here) can be our Dominatrix."

Me: "Please rephrase that."- My friends and I talking about next years Halloween costume

Michelle: Why are you here?

Me: When a Mommy and a Daddy love each other...

Michelle: No why are YOU here?

Me: Well my Mommy and Daddy loved each other- My friend Michelle and I

"Parrots are the pit bulls of the sky"-Kate

My English Teacher: "The next person who says a thats what she said that DOESN'T make sense is getting sent to the office.

A few minutes later while he's talking about a paper we have to write.

Boy 1: How long should it be?

Teacher: There is no correct length.

Boy 2: That's what she said-English class

"Whatever you all are smoking you NEED to stop"- My english teacher.

"You have this twinkle in your eyes but it's not a happy twinkle it's more of an insane gleam."-My friend shortly after meeting me

"Always agree with the mental patient."-My Grandma (My family's motto)

Mulitplication tables dead, Kqumat dead, Shelock dead, the dog dead, the horse dead, Let the dead dog die-My Mom

Me: I thought she was older than Dad
Mom:Shes not THAT old-Mom

People are crazy little hermits living in a shell with their computers and crazy erotic dreams-Michelle

All I know about Naomi is that shes a bitch and she wants to bite Cas-Michelle

Liam: What's that?

Me: That's where we hide the bodies-On the closet in the basement

An Ode To My Mama

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

The three biggest lies you will ever hear in your life...

1) This wont hurt a bit

2) Algebra is very important in later life, of course you need to learn it

3) I have read and agreed to the terms and conditions

MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty

If you've been on the computer for hours on end reading fanfiction copy and paste this onto your profile.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Minnesota: For those of you who don't live in the same amazing state as me, here are some examples of how we're different(courtesy of urban dictionary):

60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Minnesota plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Duluth sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Bemidji gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Minnesotans close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.

Other facts about Minnesota:

The land of 3 seasons, winter, summer, and road construction.

Minnesota nice...unless of course you are driving

We do not say "eh"... that's Canada
*"a's" and "o's" are pronounced differently than everyone else...

"I'm from Minnesotah!"

Land of 10,000 Lakes and 475,947,540,594,750 Mosquitoes.

What can we say we like quotes!!!

Bold everything you are... stop the stereotypes!

I am an AMERICAN, so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff

Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I like Superheroes and Science Fiction, so I MUST live in my Mom's basement.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

Fanfiction is a site for vampires trapped in human bodies.

Fanfiction is a site for wizards wating for their Hogswarts letter.(It's coming just you wait)

Fanfiction is a site for secret fourteen year old spies for MI6.

Fanfiction is a site for unclaimed demigods.

Fanfiction is a site for those of us who care about who Katniss will choose.

Fanfiction is a site for people who cried while reading Just Listen.

Fanfiction is a site for people who daydream and constantly imagine the impossible.

Fanfiction is a site for people who never give up.

Fanfiction is a site for those of us who aren't accepted in the real world.

Fanfiction is a site for people who have been called at least one of the following- Weirdo, Loner, Nerd, Lick, Geek, Shy, Silent, Creepy, Crazy, Insane, Eccentric, Psycho, Odd, Mental or Different.(Or in my case all of the above, AND I'M DAMN PROUD OF IT)

Fanfiction is a site for girls who are deperately in love with a non existant guys. (Because they're the best kind...)

Fanfiction is a site for girls who have dreamt of Edward Cullen.

Fanfiction is a site for girls who've asked the question, 'Are you team Edward or team Jacob?'

Fanfiction is a site for people who've ever asked the question,' What do you think, Gale or Peeta?'

Fanfiction is a site for girls who've ever doodled 'Mrs Alex Rider' on their schoolbooks.

Fanfiction is a site for people who've ever compared their classmates to characters from books.

Fanfiction is a site for people who've ever compared their teachers to Voldemort.

Fanfiction is a site for people who've ever compared their parents to the Volturi.

Fanfiction is a site for those of us who can't express ourselves in life.

Fanfiction is a site for people talk to themselves... a lot.

Fanfiction is a site for people who laugh at jokes that no one else gets.

Fanfiction is a site for people who get funny looks for reading in class.

Fanfiction is a site for people who've ever exclaimed 'Voldemort out, bitches!' in the middle of an awkward silence.

Fanfiction is a site for people who always get asked to read out their stories in English Class.

Fanfiction is a site for people who admire the guy who tries to be different.

Fanfiction is a site for people who say long words that other people don't normally understand.

Fanfiction is a site for people aren't afraid to sit alone and read at lunch.

Fanfiction is a site for people who dared to call a popular guy a plonker.

Fanfiction is a site for girls who've ever dared to call a popular girl a bitch.

Fanfiction is a site for girls who don't need guys to complete them.

Fanfiction is a site for people who ditched reality and went for something different.

Fanfiction is a site for people who hang onto dreams.

Fanfiction is a site for people who are different, but don't care because, they know it's who they really are.

Copy and Paste this onto your profile if you are one of these people.

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART (OR ASDA LOL)

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillowsfrom the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...Or are planning to do any o these things

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run bitch run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

Annoying things to do in an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it

23) ANNOUNCE loudly "I need a new host body, any volunteers?"

Signs you may be obsessed with Supernatural(Stolen from my cousin, if she stole them from you let me know and I'll give you credit):

1. You understand the reference "I don't understand that reference"

2. You have a some point when asked "Where were you?" Thought about answering with "On a bender"

3. You have told someone that something "is not of import."

4. You can identify a 1963 Chevy Impala on sight.

5. You find the images of fluffy angels funny.

6. You get disappointed if people don't have the appropriate response to being called a bitch or a jerk.

7. On occasion the reason you like characters in other tv shows/books/movies is because they have a trench coat.

8. Pie became your favorite dessert after watching the show.

9. You have taken a gummy worm and announced "I'm not going to eat it, I'm gonna wear it as a wormstache." (I did this on a bus one time my Mom looked a me funny, but the girl behind me was a fan and asked for a gummy worm. We spent the rest of the ride wearing our wormstaches and talking)

10. The third week of May is a scary time for you to be in an apple orchard/you now wonder if every scarecrow is really a murderous pagan god.

11. You have recently thought "gee Satan was pretty cool. Can we trade him for Metatron?"

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( What other time do I have to work on my hair?).
On a bag of Frito's! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how . . . ?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion, right or are u a secret dictator jus trying to suggest it).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well . . . a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (. . . and you thought?. . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Isn't that the whole point)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what else?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash or was it supposed to have loony peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh . . . fly Delta?)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (. . . was there a lot of this happening somewhere in Sweden?)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm. . . . .something must have gotten lost in the translation . . . )
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Oh sure, go ahead, destroy a universal child belief! I don't blame
the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records.

Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?

Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?

Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Were you alone or by yourself?

Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Now then, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I'll be three months on March 12th.
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was around January 12th?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?

Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

So, you were gone until you returned?

You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.

A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."

Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined that body of Mr. Huntington at St. Mary's Hospital?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 5:30 P.M.
Q: And Mr. Huntington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you idiot, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was performing an autopsy on him!

There are two kinds of lawyers, those who know the law and those who know the judge.

Poems From my friends:

The Dream of Reality

by Michelle Mathias

Matter is matter and thought is thought

But what is real and what is not?

As real as the bluebird might seem

What if this is all a dream?

A clever hoax, a realistic place

And the truth disappears without a trace

Delusions about fact or fake

Do our perceptions define the world we make?

If we doubt then it must not be true

Because obviously all facts have proof

But sometimes we see, some things need faith

Facts are disproved, new ideas take shape

If we are so sure about what we see

Then why do we keep reading fantasy?

Why are conclusions jumped to so quick?

“That rock is a rock, this stick is a stick.”

Everything is exactly as we see

No more, no less, nothing else it could be

Why give everything an exact place?

Life is messy, this we must face

Stop trying to think in only one way

What if the sun ruled the night, and the moon, the day?

We define everything we see

But what if we’re defining the wrong reality?

Keep an open mind when you start

Give a man your ear but not your heart*

The world is big and open to change

Things won’t always properly arrange

Eragon, by Christopher Paolini.

A Poem about MN weather:

Snow in May,

Hail in June,

Frost in July,

Kill me soon- You otter have milk

If you think normal people are boring, copy and paste this on your profile.

94% of teenage girls would scream and die if Edward Cullen was found on top of the Empire state building, ready to jump. Copy this onto your profile if you'd be part of the 6% laughing with a bag of popcorn in one hand, a video camera in the other hand, yelling into a bullhorn you stole from a rabid fangirl, " JUMP, YOU SPARKLEY FAIRY BASTARD! "

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you'd be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.

If you have a really long ass profile, but won't stop adding to it because it's cool and you have lots of things to say or funny things to share, copy and paste this onto your profile and make it even longer!

If you've ever gone upstairs or someplace and when you got there completely forgotten what you went there for in the first place, copy and paste this into your profile.(In my family it's a bigger deal if I remember.)

Ships:

Supernatural: I am proud to announce I have finally boarded the Destiel ship!!!

Winsest*Shudders* hey if you like that's cool I just can't ignore the fact they're siblings

Sam/Cas: Cas is taken. This is however my favorite pairing to read friendship fanfiction for.

Sabriel: Didn't see it, will read it

Sam/Jess: They are just so cute and he still totally loves her.

Honestly though as long as the stories good I'll read any pairing but winsest

Merlin:

Frelin

Arwen

Mergana

and because I make no sense a little bit Merthur but ONLY in fanfiction and not on the show

ArMor: See thoughts on Winsest

I'll read just about any and all pairings for this though because ArMor is cannon in the legends. I just don't like it that much but if the story is good...

Sherlock:

None I don't care if Johnlock is Cannon(which i'm pretty sure it is) I just can't see Sherlock in a relationship.

Fringe: Peter/Olivia

Criminal Minds:None

LeverageHardison/Parker

White Collar: Peter/Elisabeth

Psych: Shules

Numb3rs: Charlie/Amita

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favourite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you act completely, well, crazy and make a total fool of yourself and don’t even care. Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being (every cell in your body) to Eragon, Star Wars, and fanfiction. Crazy is when you go into build-a-bear workshop and walk up to little kids saying "That's my favourite bear" in a creepy voice and then run like heck when their soccer-mums glare at you. Crazy is when you get jacked up on sugar on your school excursion to bush gardens, laugh for two hours straight WHILE riding rollercaosters, then still laugh after you get slapped by your friends, and they pour a cold water on you, and you just stop suddenly, and when they asked why you laughed you say " I felt like it." Crazy is when you fight with your friend over which vegetable you want to be. Crazy is when you say pineapple and then threaten to slap .someone if they even mention the word; claiming that it's yours. Crazy is when you have a whole glass of coke in one go and go so hyper you laugh for several hours straight . Crazy is when you walk up to someone you've never seen before in the street and sprout some random technobabble that ends with "And that's why you should always carry a banana around with you." Crazy is when you can't sit in Physics without nicking the teacher's shaky thing! Crazy is when you do a headstand against you classroom wall and start to sing "By the Sea" from Sweeney Todd. Crazy is when you lock yourself out of the house to see if the door really can only be opened from the inside.If you're crazy and crazy about it, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done too

A Tribute to Supernatural by criminalxxxmindsxxxfreak:

Here's to the boy, who saved a world

He never really felt a part of

Sam Winchester

Here's the man, who sold his soul

To save his little brother

Dean Winchester

Here's the old drunk, who always had the answers

And never even got a Thank You

Bobby Singer

Here's to the angel, who gave his life

For Friendship, Loyalty and Free Will

Castiel

Here's to the heroes, who were broken inside

And kept on trying, even when there was no hope left

*Team Free Will*

Lilianna and I signing off!