AN: All I can say is... It's Cassie's fault. So sit back, relax, and enjoy!

Just kidding, I'll explain more. So Cassie and I were talking (Big surprise, right?) and Cassie and I had a bet on if the whole team went to group counseling how long would it be before the therapist quit? You don't want to know how we got to that conclusion though. You might call the loony bin on us. So what inspired? A fic about the team going to group therapy! So now you can sit back, relax, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I only own Dr. Lynne Harris

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Dave tensed as a knock sounded on his door. He slid to the floor as the heavy wood was pushed open.

JJ pursed her lips and put her hands on her hips as she stared at Dave's chair. Where the hell had he gone? Suddenly she heard a thud and a hiss and JJ rolled her eyes, walking around the desk and crouching next to it.

"It's time to go." Dave stared at her innocently.

"Oh! Is it really? I just dropped my pen."

"Really? Is that why you're not stuck hiding out under your desk?" Dave scoffed.

"I'm not hiding." JJ raised her eyebrow and watched Dave try to crawl out from under his desk. A few curses, pushes, grunts and thuds, Dave looked at JJ. "I'm stuck." JJ laughed and held her hand out to him. With a few more curses, JJ hitting her head on the desk, and Dave's pants almost coming off, Dave was finally out from under the desk.

"Just for that, there will be no complaining for the next two hours or I will take Henry to my place tonight." Dave pouted at JJ.

"But... But Jen! It's," Dave looked around and lowered his voice to a low hiss, "therapy."

"Yes Dave, it is. And you can be a big boy and go to therapy with the rest of us." JJ sighed at Dave's crestfallen face. "I'll make you a deal. If you behave I will hold your hand on the way to therapy."

"And on the way back?" JJ sighed.

"Fine and on the way back." Dave grabbed JJ's hand and held it tightly, pulling her from the office.

"Well what are we waiting for then?" They stopped as Hotch and Emily left the unit chief's office, Hotch rubbing his head. "What happened?" Emily rolled her eyes and walked down the stairs.

"Come on you two. It's an hour. What could possibly happen?" Aaron looked at JJ.

"You never ask that question, JJ."

"It's basic Murphy's Law" Reid supplied as they stopped by his desk. "It states that what can go wrong will go wrong and while not scientifically proven, it's superstitiously believed that when you ask what could go wrong, a lot of bad things will happen."

"Thanks Reid" JJ muttered.

"No, thank you Jen, for cursing us. Now the question is what will go wrong?" Dave asked. Hotch sighed as Morgan walked up to them, sipping on his coffee.

"This is exactly what we don't need. Some psycho coming in and trying to get into our heads. Thanks, but no thanks."

"It's mandatory, Morgan" Hotch said.

"Come, my sweet dark chocolate! We'll sit together!"

"Ah, mama, I don't want to go" Morgan whined.

"You know," Reid said standing up and shouldering his back before he grabbed his own coffee, "Almost 20 percent of Americans go to some form of therapy and another 20 percent take some form of medication for their anxiety or depression. So it won't make us crazy for going."

"But we are crazy" Emily said as their small group made their way to the conference room.

"Now we can be crazy and share it with someone else" Dave muttered. JJ pinched his stomach. "Hey!"

"Now now Dave, didn't we agree that you would behave?"

"I AM behaving!" JJ gave him a warning look as Aaron entered the room first, moving towards the slim brunette standing at the front of the room.

"You must be Doctor Harris. I'm Special Agent in Charge Aaron Hotchner and this is my team. David Rossi, Jennifer Jareau, Spencer Reid, Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan, and Penelope Garcia." The woman shook everyone's hand as Aaron introduced them.

"It's nice to meet you all. I'm Doctor Lynne Harris and I know you all must not want to be here, but the faster we get started, the faster we can leave."

"Sounds good to me!" Dave and Morgan cheered. The therapist laughed.

"Ok, so who would like to go first?" The team remained silent. "Oh we won't bite. Come on. What about you, Agent Reid?"

"Doctor" Reid corrected automatically.

"Oh I'm sorry. Why don't you start Doctor Reid?" Reid shifted and threw glares at the couples beside him who were working on trying to remain invisible.

"Well... I don't really..."

"He's a recovered drug addict!" Dave blurted. Reid's face flamed red as he glared at Dave.

"Says the alcoholic dating a woman with commitment issues."

"What did I do to you?" JJ demanded. Aaron watched as Dr. Harris continuously took notes.

"Hey, don't you dare insult Jen because of that two bit Cajun!" Dave shouted.

"Leave JJ alone, Pretty boy." Morgan said calmly.

"Let's all calm down now and let our little nutter cracker catch up!" Garcia chirped. Dr. Harris frowned.

"Did you just calm me a... nutter cracker?"

"Yes ma'am I did!"

"She's the eccentric of the group" Hotch explained.

"Are you always so cheery?" Garcia nodded brightly.

"Yup! I like to stay upbeat for the team!"

"So you hide your true emotions behind a mask of fake cheer?"

"Yup! Wait! No! It's not fake!" Dr. Harris made another note. "It's not fake! Tell her my chocolate god!" Morgan pat Garcia's hand gently.

"Don't worry sweetness. We know it's not fake."

"You must have a hero complex" Dr. Harris noted, looking at Morgan. "This is the second time you've jumped to a woman's defense."

"I don't have a hero complex. I don't like to see anyone blamed for something that's not their fault." Dr. Harris made a note on her pad of paper. She circled the word 'narcissist' next to his name.

"What about Hotch and Emily? You haven't picked on them yet!" Morgan growled out, pointing at the two in question. Dr. Harris smiled at Emily.

"Why don't we start with you, Agent Prentiss?"

"Um... Ok..." Emily shifted in her seat as everyone looked at her expectantly. "Um... what am I supposed to say?"

"Emily compartmentalizes everything!" Morgan yelled. Emily gave him an exasperated look.

"Is that true, Agent Prentiss?"

"Well on the job I do. I can't let my guard down."

"What happens when you're off the clock?" Emily remained silent, glaring across the table at Morgan. "What was your childhood like?"

"I was constantly moving since my mother was an ambassador. Always making new friends and having to leave them a short while later."

"Are you afraid your current friends will leave or that you'll have to leave them?" Emily's mind flashed backed to her time after Doyle.

"Yes." Dr. Harris made a note on her yellow paper. The group waited anxiously as she looked at Hotch.

"What about you agent Hotchner? What would your colleagues say is wrong with you?"

"He has no emotions" they commented together. Dr. Harris blinked.

"I think that answered your question, ma'am. I tend to distance myself from this job. I have to in order to raise my son properly."

"I don't see a wedding band, Agent Hotchner."

"My ex-wife is deceased" he responded without emotion. Dr. Harris nodded slowly as she wrote.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." The response was quick, emotionless, planned. It was a knee jerk reaction.

"So..." Dave said breaking the silence in the room. "We've all discussed our problems. Is it time for us to go?" JJ kicked him under the table, making him wince.

"Behave" she hissed at him. Dr. Harris looked down at her writing pad.

Dr. Spencer Reid- drug addict. Agent David Rossi- alcoholic. Agent Jennifer Jareau- Commitment issues. Penelope Garcia- Hides her true emotions behind a mask of fake cheeriness. Agent Derek Morgan- Hero complex and a narcissist. Agent Emily Prentiss- Compartmentalizes, abandonment issues, anxiety. Agent Hotchner- Single father, shows no emotion even when talking about dead wife.

"Doctor Harris?" Morgan asked hopefully.

"Sadly, we haven't even scratched the surface yet. We're going to be here a while." The whole team groaned.

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AN: So that was chapter one! It was supposed to be a one shot, but this turned into a multichapter story. Just what I needed. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! I know I did!