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![]() Author has written 9 stories for Rocky Horror, Holes, and Glee. Hello everyone, I'm Kitalene Crimson! Well, it's not my real name, but you'll call me that. I also answer to KC or KC Colfer. The first (well, second) thing you should know about me is that I have cycles of creativity and writer's block. For example, I may write for five days in a row, inspired and talented, then it all stops. It's much like weather, with floods and droughts. I have a Glee RP forum. It's a next-generation one, and it's going pretty good, but still needs more people. It's right here, so please check it out when you can! http://www.fanfiction.ws/forum/Glee-The-Next-Direction/120289/ This profile is in near-constant renovation. If you actually care, stop by every so often for changes. ABOUT MY STORIES! As of October 29th, 2012: I am currently in a flood (writing) stage, meaning I am actively writing and updating fics. Let's hope it lasts a while! :) Extreme Matchmaker: Magenta Style: On indefinite hiatus. I may continue it some day, but that is unlikely at the moment. Is Hectorine Even A Name?: Complete! Top Of The Class: Complete! Bloodstained Heart: Complete. If I write a sequel, it will be after my current projects are complete. Beautiful Disaster: Complete! Ain't No Party Like: Complete! The Hummel Games: Have not yet begun Chapter 8. The Klisses That Missed: Am currently writing Chapter 4, completion date is unsure. Only Darkness Still Remains: Am planning to begin Chapter 3 soon, brainstorming. Who wants some random facts about me? I bet you do. I won't tell you my age, but I am between 10 and 25 years. I love Glee, Holes, Rocky Horror, The Hunger Games, Artemis Fowl and various others. Mostly Glee. I live in Australia, where nobody rides kangaroos. Ever. Seriously. I usually write in third-person and past-tense. It's just my style. I regularly whore myself out for reviews. Seriously, go review my stuff. It makes me happy. If you DESPERATELY need to reach me for some reason, just send a private message. I'll most likely answer within 24 hours. I obsess over Chris Colfer WAY too much, but he totally deserves it. The Hummel Games is a perfect example of my best writing. Light with plenty of jokes and weird references, but laced with deeper tragedy and emotion. I will always ship Klaine and CrissColfer, as well as Brittana and Jaffnet (Janet/Riff Raff). I'm a proud Slytherin, and a resident of District 11. I am overly pedantic and sarcastic. I'm like Artemis Fowl, but female, not quite as super-genius, not nearly as rich, and with no connections to the fairy folk. I am an atheist, but do not hate all religious people. Just the crazy ones. I was totally Chinese in a past life. My profile pic is the sexiest thing you'll ever see. I probably sound vain, until you realise that my pic is definitely not me. I have never received a flame. I guess I'm just not well-known enough yet. After all, much better work than mine gets flamed. I am mature enough to read smut, but not mature enough to write it. Yet. I would quite like to be a vampire, but not the Twilight kind. If I wanted sparkles, I'd frickin' apply body glitter. I have some fanfictions that I haven't put on this site yet, or aren't allowed. These can be found at /SnixtanaLopez. I have a Twitter account (Sparkles_Colfer) and 2 Tumblr accounts (kitalenecrimson and colfersexy). I have demon siblings that actually look quite adorable. I love seeing what countries my readers are from. I've had people all across the globe, from Taiwan to Saudi Arabia to Chile read my stories. It makes me feel a little famous. The cake is a lie. Also, I'm a beta who will pretty much beta anything. It's the one place where my pedantic tendencies come in handy. I took the Personality Defect Test on okcupid, and the results are scarily accurate. Your result for The Personality Defect Test ... Spiteful Loner You are 86% Rational, 0% Extroverted, 71% Brutal, and 29% Arrogant. You are the Spiteful Loner, the personality type that is most likely to go on a shooting rampage. In high school, you were probably that kid who wore all black and who sat alone in a corner of the lunch room, drawing pictures of dead babies. You are a rational person and tend to hold emotions in very low-esteem; not only that, but you are also rather introverted, meaning you probably bury any emotions you feel deep inside yourself, like all of the bodies in your backyard. Combine these traits with your dislike of others and your brutality, and it seems that you would be quite likely to shoot innocent people in a rampage. Most likely, you also have low self-esteem. Hell, I get low self-esteem just looking at you. This is only yet one more incentive to go on a shooting rampage, because you wouldn't care if you died as a result. Granted, you probably haven't gone on a shooting rampage and probably never will, but all the motivations are there. All you need is for someone to push you over the edge, calling you names and belittling you. Like me. But don't shoot me. I have a 101 mile-long knife, you know. In conclusion, your personality is defective because you are too introverted, brutal, insecure, and rather unemotional. No wonder no one hangs around you, you morbid, cold-hearted freak! List twelve of your favorite characters from your fandom, in no particular order. (Glee, honey!) 1.Kurt 2.Brittany 3.Sugar 4.Unique 5.Sam 6.Rory 7.Mike 8.Santana 9.Roz 10.Quinn 11.Emma 12.Puck 1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? Rory/Emma? What are you on? 2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot? Unique is hot as hell, as a boy or a girl. But especially as a girl. 3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? Puck got Santana pregnant? It actually could have happened in Season 1. 4. Can you recall any fics about Nine? No... but I wish I could. Roz is awesome. 5. Would Two and Six make a good couple? Brittany and Rory... if Santana wasn't in the picture, maybe. 6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why? Five/Ten, because Sam/Quinn already happened and is less creepy than Sam/Roz. 7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? Mike would probably just run away and forget it ever happened. Maybe he would tell Tina. 8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic. Sugar and Quinn: Quinn Fabray and Sugar Motta are convinced they'll never find love. Maybe they're just looking in the wrong places. (Good enough...) 9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight Fluff? Kurt and Santana... not that I know of, but there totally should be. 10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic. Mike and Puck... that's a toughie. 11. Does anyone on your friends list read Three yet? I don't think so. Sugar is really underappreciated. 12. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? I don't think so. 13. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? I probably would. Do I count? 14. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? Alejandro by Lady GaGa. Because of reasons. 15. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? WARNING: Slutty!Kurt, SexuallyFrustrated!Puck, Innocent!Rory, and the best fricking threesome Lima's ever had. I should totally write that in a few years. 16. When was the last time you read a fic about Five? Not in my recent memory. 17. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (2). Kurt and Mike are in a happy relationship until Roz runs off with Unique. Kurt, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Emma and a brief unhappy affair with Puck, then follows the wise advice of Sam and finds true love with Brittany. What title would you give this fic? "In Which The Laws Of Physics Are Broken". 18. How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon? Mike/Santana? If Santana was straight, I'd be all for it. 19: (2) (5) (1), (6), (8) and (3) are playing Truth or Dare. (1) asks (8), and (8) says Truth. (1) asks who (8) loves, and (8), confessed their true love with (4). (4) does not share the feeling, and in fact is in a secret relationship with (5). (8) is heartbroken, and seeks comfort in (3) while (4) and (5) run into the sunset together. However, (1) is secretly in love with (3), and become so jealous of (8), who, after the comfort from (3) becomes in a relationship with (3), and so (1) decides to murder (8), but is stopped just in time by the police officer (7) and is sent to prison, allowing (8) and (3) to continued their relationship. Brittany, Sam, Kurt, Rory, Santana, and Sugar are playing Truth or Dare. Kurt asks Santana, and Santana says Truth. Kurt asks who Santana loves, and Santana confessed her true love with Unique. Unique does not share the feeling, and in fact is in a secret relationship with Sam. Santana is heartbroken, and seeks comfort in Sugar, while Unique and Sam run into the sunset together. However, Kurt is secretly in love with Sugar, and becomes so jealous of Santana, who after the comfort from Sugar becomes in a relationship with Sugar, and so Kurt decides to murder Santana, but is stopped just in time by the police officer Mike and is sent to prison, allowing Santana and Sugar to continue their relationship. (I always knew that Rojo Caliente and Salsa Caliente belonged together.) 20. What would you think if you found (5) was a really good friend of a sibling or relative of yours? IT'S THE KENTUCKY FRIED STRIPPER, WOOT WOOT! 21. How would you react if you saw (8) and (11) in a closet together with a rubber ducky? I’d pour bleach onto my eyeballs. 22. How would you feel if (2) dissed you in the worst possible way ever? I just can't picture Brittany being so mean. 23. You just came home from school and all of your friends hate you, your teacher just gave you an F on the most important project of the year (just imagine it happened for the smart alecks out there), and your parents have grounded you as your teacher had already called and told them of your grade. You open the door to your bedroom and you find (10) rummaging through your stuff. What do you do? Oh... hi Quinn. Where's Kurt? 24. What would you think if (1) was emo and had tried to slit his/her wrists? If (1) is already emo/slit his/her wrists already, what would you think if (1) became the most optimistic person in the world? I would be sad, but not very surprised. It could actually happen. 25. What would you feel this second if (4) gave you a daisy right now? Unique gave me a daisy, *fangirl attack* 26. (6) has just stolen your hairbrush. What is the first thing you would say? Gimme some Lucky Charms. Please. 27. (7), (9), and (4) have banded together at 3 in the morning and starts to sing the most annoying song you know as loud as they can, waking you up. What is the first thing you think? Mike, Roz and Unique singing "Baby" by Justin Bieber? I'd throw rocks at them. But not Unique. 28. (2) and (11) are your teachers. What would you do? Listen to Brittany's seminars on cat diseases and ignore Emma's cleaning lessons. 29. What would (8) say if (1) and (5) got married? "Wait... Lady Face and Trouty Mouth? Never saw that one coming. Hey Hummel, what happened to Tribrows?" 30. Would (2) most likely be related to (9) 0r (10)? Brittany and Quinn could probably be related. 31. (3) walked into the bathroom while you were showering? "OUT. GET OUT. I DON'T GIVE A FLYING F* ABOUT YOUR FAKE ASPERGER'S, GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM. (I kind of have privacy issues.) 32. (4) announced she's going to marry (9) tomorrow? Unique and Roz. What. 33. (5) cooked you dinner? Can Sam cook? I don't know. 34. (6) was lying next to you on a beach, sleeping? I didn't know that leprechauns slept. Or secret Klaine lovechildren. Your Guy & Girl Side Guy Side You love hoodies. You love jeans. Dogs are better than cats. It's hilarious when people get hurt. You've played with/against boys on a team. Shopping is torture. Sad movies suck. You own/ed an X-Box. Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid. At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. (For a few weeks when I was five.) You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega. You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers. You watch sports on TV. Gory movies are cool. You go to your dad for advice. You own like a trillion baseball caps. You like going to high school football games. You used to/do collect football/baseball cards. Baggy pants are cool to wear. It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. (Though that's mainly privacy issues.) Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors. You love to go crazy and not care what people think. Sports are fun Talk with food in your mouth. Sleep with your socks on at night Total: 9 Girl Side You wear lip gloss/stick. You love to shop. You wear eyeliner. You wear the color pink Go to your mom for advice. You consider cheerleading a sport. You hate wearing the color black. You like hanging out at the mall. You like getting manicures and/or pedicures. You like wearing jewelry. Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe. Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies. You don't like the movie Star Wars. You were/are in gymnastics/dance It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up. You smile a lot more than you should. You have more than 10 pairs of shoes. You care about what you look like. You like wearing dresses when you can. You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne. You love the movies. Used to play with dolls as little kid. Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it. Like being the star of every thing Total: 10 (Slightly more girly. That's cool.) I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty. I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. I hate stereotypes, so I MUST be a loser who doesn't fit in. Copy and paste to your profile, and bold the ones that apply to you. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, Insane Winged Girl, Faxness-Fan48, An-Jelly-Ca,VMsuperfan, SVUlover, daisy617, Pillsbury Dopegirl10, Yaoifangirl42, 20eKUraN10, Wickaholic, SergeantGullible12, Kitalene Crimson Gay Marriage 1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning. 2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. 3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. 4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal. 5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed. 6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children. 7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. 8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America. 9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children. 10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... Re-post the above if you believe in legalizing gay marriage. "Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do.. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! ..But He loves you." - George Carlin "The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully."--Richard Dawkins Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Colfertatorship. There are no steroids in baseball. Just the power of Chris Colfer. A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chris Colfer moment is worth 1 billion words. When taking the SAT, write "Chris Colfer" for every answer. You will score over 8000. Ryan Murphy once worked as a weatherman for the Los Angeles evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 100% chance of Chris Colfer. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chris Colfer. As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chris Colfer." In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chris Colfer. He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chris Colfer never dies. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chris Colfer. All roads lead to Chris Colfer. And by the transitive property, total awesomeness. There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Chris Colfer... Just kidding, Chris Colfer is first. Only Chris Colfer can prevent forest fires. The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chris Colfer. He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chris Colfer … dies. People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Chris Colfer. The active ingredient in Red Bull is Chris Colfer juice. (Sounds delicious.) Some people say that Chris Colfer is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead. 1. Kurt 2. Brittany 3. Sugar 4. Unique 5. Sam 6. Rory 7. Mike 8. Santana 9. Roz 10. Quinn 11. Emma 12. Puck 13. Blaine 14. Rachel 15. Marley 16. Lord Tubbington 17. Artie 18. Tina 19. Burt 20. Sunshine 1 woke you up in the middle of the night? Grab Kurt, pull him into my bed and cuddle him for the rest of the night. Number 18 asked you to go out with her? Sure, why not? Number 3 walked into the bathroom while you're showering? Throw a bottle of conditioner at her. 4 announced she/he's going to marry 9 tomorrow? Unique and Roz? Excuse me while I vomit. 5 cooked you dinner? Sam... can Sam cook? 12 was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping? Sneak away... don't wake him up... 7 suddenly confessed to be part of your family. I have Asian relatives? Awesome! 18 got into the hospital somehow? Tina... probably strained her tear ducts from all the crying. 5 made fun of your friends? *witty comment about how he used to be a stripper* 14 ignored you all the time? I'd rather her ignore me than constantly screeching at me about solos or whatever. Two serial killers (14 and 8) are hunting you down. What will 11 do? Rachel and Santana are hunting me down and Emma's my only hope? I'm screwed. You're on a vacation with number 2 and 18 and manage to break your leg. What do each do? Brittany would try and flag down a unicorn, and Tina would cry. It's your birthday. What will 4 give you? I don't know, something fabulous. You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does 14 do? Probably leave me there. You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will 8 do? Draw attention to me to make it more embarrassing. You're about to marry number 10. What's 16's reaction? "Meow..." You got dumped by someone. How will 15 cheer you up? She'd say something sweet and intelligent, because Marley Rose has no flaws. You're angry about it afterwards, how does 13 calm you down? Sing a song, using my emotions to get attention. You compete in some tournament. How does 9 support you? She'd go on about her "damn bronze Olympic medal that I won in Beijing, China!" You can't stop laughing. What will 14 do? "Shut up, I'm trying to sing..." Number 14 is all you've ever dreamed of. Why? I want to sing a duet with her. 20 tells you about their deeply hidden love for number 9. Your reaction? Sunshine? Roz? *vomit* What song would you associate with 20? Uhhhhh... blank. What would 14 think of 16? "He's Brittany's cat." You find out that 12 sleeps naked? Honestly not surprised. What would 13 envy about 5? His simple, sweet demeanor, as well as his popularity. What dream would 20 have about 6? Sunshine and Rory have never met... What do 6 and 17 have in common? They both have brown hair and blue eyes. That's pretty much it. What would make 5 angry at 11? I just don't see that happening. 2 takes pictures of you nude. 7 sends it to everyone. What do you do, and who do you blame? I'd be too busy WTF-ing to blame anyone. Where would 14 meet 9? The halls of McKinley. What would 9 never dare to tell 19? What? What would make 20 scared of 1? It takes a lot to get Kurt angry, but when you do, he SERIOUSLY flies off the handle. Is 16 Gay? I don't know... 4 invites 3 and 18 to dinner at their house. What happens? Unique, Sugar and Tina. They sing something awesome. 5 would die for you? If we were best friends/dating, probably. Who's prettier? 17 or 6? Rory, probably. But that's just my preference. 4 tells you he/she's gay. You say? "Okay, cool. Want a slice of cake?" You need to stay at a friend’s house for the night. Do you choose 1 or 9? Kurt, no contest whatsoever. 9 and 13 make a porno, which you see on the Internet. Reaction? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH MY EYES MY PRECIOUS EYES!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! 2 and 14 are making out. 10 walks in...Their reaction? "Brittany? Rachel? What the..." Then Quinn runs away. 16 and 10 are in prison. Who do you bail out? Quinn, Brittany will deal with Lord Tubbington. Does 4 have big boobs? Big fake ones, yeah. 18 offers you drugs? No thanks... and when did Tina start doing drugs? 5 falls in love with 12. 19 is jealous. What happens? I can totally see Sam and Puck being together, but Burt being jealous is just creepy. 15 asks to have sex with you? No thanks... you're really nice, but we're just friends. And what about Jake? 11 tells you that s/he's leaving forever? Well, okay then. 18 makes a song about you. What is it about? IDK... Everyone gangs up on 3. What happens? Sugar screams abuse at all of them and blames her fake Asperger's. Everyone is invited to 2 and 10's wedding except for 16. How do they react? What? Brittany would invite Lord Tubbington to her wedding, even if she was marrying Quinn... 5 is cheating on you with 17? "I'll forgive you if you let me watch." Why is 6 afraid of 7? He's a ninja. 20 is doing drugs. What does 7 do? Help her, because Asians don't let Asians do drugs. 12 and 3 drink alcohol. 3 becomes really drunk and attacks 12. What do you do? Laugh. Sugar couldn't do much damage to Puck. 5 and 9 get roaring drunk and end up at your house. What happens? "Get out... get out. But not you, Sam." 10 burns down 19's house. Why? and what does 19 do? Quinn burns down Burt's house because she's a psychopath. Burt sues her and wins, getting Quinn sent to a psych ward. 13, 2, 16 and 6 all go to the zoo for 2's birthday party. How does it go? What presents do they get 2? Brittany's birthday. Rory would give her an all-marshmallow box of Lucky Charms, Blaine sings a solo, and Lord Tubbington meows "Happy Birthday". 9 murders 2’s best friend. What does 2 do to get back at them? Roz murders Santana. Brittany kills her. You walk in on 16 showering. they say? "Meow." 6 and 13 are in mortal danger. Only one of them can survive. Does 6 save himself or 13? Blaine wouldn't let Rory save him, because Blaine is a dapper gentleman. 3 starts a day camp. What happens? Oh God... poor kids. 7 makes an apple pie. Is it any good? I don't know. Probably, since he can do everything else. 8 and 15 go camping. For some reason they forget to bring any food. What do they do? Santana eats Marley. While they are camping, they run into Barney. What do they do? Santana eats Barney. Okay, that's it for now. If I think of any other things to cram in this box, I'll get back to that. :) |