Why hello there, friend. It seems you have stumbled upon the profile of none other than me. Lucky you! Or maybe not...I'll let you decide that.

Basically I am a writer who doesn't plan anything and just kinda vomits words onto my computer. This becomes my stories, which I personally like because they help me vent and share my way of thinking with you. I like to make people think in a different way by showing them things that I couldn't really explain very well if I wasn't writing them. It's quite fun to mess with their brains.

I have a DeviantArt account as well, and I'm trying to get more stuff uploaded to it, but it's going to take some time. School is quite the time-consuming bitch, yes? (DeviantArt: xMyBeautifulChaosx)

Yeah...um...if you happen to read my stories, it would please me if you would write a review or even PM me about what you think about it, or what I can do to improve. It really does give me an ounce of something close to happiness in my day when I see that someone has left a review.

I enjoy CreepyPastas of all kinds, anime, horror, and quite a lot of other things. Now I will drown your brain with profile nonsense that has no purpose here but to be a filler and cause me some form of amusement when I read it out of complete boredom.

ways to have fun
1.Sit in parked a car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars and see if they slow down.
2. page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.
3. every time someone asks you to do something ask them if they want fries with that.
4. put a paper bin on your desk and label it "in".
5. order a diet water whenever you go out to eat-- with a serious face.
6. specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
7. skip rather than walk.
8. dont use any punctuation.
9. sing along at the opera.
10. five days in advanced tell your friends you cant go to their party because you aren't in the mood.
11. have your friends address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
12. when money comes out of the A.T.M. scream "I won, I won!"
13.when leaving the zoo, start running toward the car park screaming "run for your lives, the animals are loose!"
14. put this on your page and make someone else smile.

A Nerd's List of Things to Do

1.) Write alien vs predator: The Musical.

2.) Develop the ability to talk to vegetables. (Brocotongue!)

3.) Learn how to "billow" like Severus Snape.

4.) Make action figure of yourself.

5.) Prove to the world that gay sparkly vampires are even more pathetic than they believe.

6.) Enrage obsessed fan girls.

7.) Scream out random endings when walking out of the movie theater. (I can't believe it! Optimus killed Sam and ran off with Megatron!)

8.) Teach fox's how to skydive.

9.) Create first ever pizza laser.

10.) Have own theme music.

11.) Find the penny at the bottom of the razor blade and salt-filled jar.

12.) Discover why Dora the Explorer's parents let her explore the world all by herself.

13.) Sing made-up lyrics to Christmas Carols. During the summer.

14.) Read Shakespeare. You know, like in Romeo and Juliet, where Juliet fights that lion, and Romeo destroys the giant space station, and they all go to Burger King...yeah, I don't really know my Shakespeare stuff that well.

15.) Also prove to the children how Santa sits on the throne of lies.

16.) If this isn't enough, scream "I GOT CAKE MIX!" all the time. (Nemesis.)

17.) Warn younger children that if they aren't good this Christmas, Santa's little Dementors will come and suck all of their happiness away. Run from livid parents.

18.) Use security cameras as mirrors to pick your nose.

19.) Run around with a Force FX lightsaber, claiming you are a Jedi that must slay the evils of the world. Then attack anyone wearing Hannah Montana apparel.

20.) Develop sense of irony.

21.) Don't die yet.

22.) Conquer the world with flying fox's.

23.) Teach fox's how to skydive, then start an airshow.

24.) Build a city...then destroy it with multicoulered dinosaurs!

25.) Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're an insane authoress/author, too!

(credit to She-Who-Has-A-Very-Long-Name the originall creater of this list)

.Spread the Stupidity

Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America ... ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering

If #2 pencils are so popular why are they still #2?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to
kill himself is it considered a hostage situation?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

Doesnt "expecting the unexpected" make the
unexpected expected?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say
"I think Ill squeeze these dangly things here and
drink what comes out"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a
mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons does morality
come from morons?

Wouldnt it be smart to make the sticky stuff on
envelopes taste like chocolate?

Isn't it ineteresting how the word 'politics' is made up of
the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

If a fork were made of gold would it still be
considered silverware?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts" Since when has a gift NOT been free?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell is he homeless or
naked?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you
done?

Whose cruel idea was it to put an S in the word
Lisp?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If vegetarians eat vegetables what do
humanitarians eat?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would they call it
Fed UP?

If quitters never win and winners never quit how
can it be wise to: "Quit while you're ahead"?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be
if it didnt zigzag?

If olive oil comes from olives where does baby
oil come from?

If two wrongs dont make a right then how come two
negatives make a positive?

Call me what you want; I really don't care. But if you insult my friends...see here, buddy, let's take a walk. Let me give you a little hint: call the police you stupid litte shit, 'cause there's about to be a murder.

You're my best friend in the whole world. I would do anything for you. And since I know you would want me to stay safe, I'll trip you if zombies start chasing us.

Hating me won't make you pretty.

Don't underestimate me, pal. See this smile? It's not really a smile. It's a distraction so I can punch you in the face.

MENtal anxiety, MENtal breakdown, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... Did you ever notice how all of out problems begin with MEN?

He who laughs last didn't get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind.

Most women say that men should have to suffer through periods like us; not me. If men had periods, they'd brag about the size of their tampons.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and 4 to reach out and slap someone

QUOTES TO LIVE BY

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler

Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.

I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head

"Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

Guns don't kill people. I do.

My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.

I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have.

Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

Teen Commandments

1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)

2. Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)

3. Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)

4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)

5. Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)

6. Thou shall not get into fights.
(Can't fight anyhow...just start them.)

7. Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)

8. Thou shall not wear revealing clothes in class.
(Hooters pays more)

9. Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")

10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.

Quotes to give you THE FEELS

- Not all scars show, not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can't see, the pain someone feels.

- You only see what I choose to show. There's so much behind this smile you don't even know.

- I'll write your name on a bullet
so everyone will know
you were the last thing
that went through my mind

- Where is the good in goodbye?

- Never say you are happy when you are sad. Never say you are fine when you are not okay. Never say you feel good when you feel bad. And never say you are alone while I'm still alive.

- You may be one person to the world, but you may be the world to one person.

- To live remains an art which everyone must learn, and which no one can teach.

- Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.

- Do not go where the path may lead, instead go where there is no path and leave a trail.

- We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.

- There can be no darkness without light. There can be no sadness without happiness. There can be no pain without joy. There can be no me without you.

- They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don't think it's possible for you to miss me as much as I'm missing you right now.

- Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

- Anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness. It's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt.

- Sadness is always the legacy of the past; regrets are pains of the memory.

- Tears are words the heart can't express.

- Dwelling on the past only blinds you to the future.

- We ignore the ones who adore us, and adore the ones who ignore us.

- Is wanting to forget too much to ask for...?

- A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

- A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself.

- Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.

- A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

- A hug is worth a thousand words. A friend is worth more.

- Every person is a new door to a different world.

- There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.

- Imagine smiling after a slap in the face. Then think of doing it twenty-four hours a day.

- The best mirror is an old friend.

- I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends.

- A good friend is hard to find, hard to lose, and impossible to forget...

- Scatter seeds of kindness everywhere you go; scatter bits of courtesy, watch them grow and grow. Gather buds of friendship; Keep them till full-blown; You will find more happiness than you have ever known.

- The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.

- I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

- To be alone is to be different, to be different is to be alone.

- Every man dies. Not every man lives.

- I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.

- It is not length of life, but depth of life.

- In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.

- People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.

- When you were born, you cried and everybody else was happy. The only question that matters is this: When you die, will YOU be happy when everybody else is crying?

- Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars.

- Life is like an hourglass.
Eventually, everything will hit the bottom.
And all you have to do is to wait until someone comes and turns it all around.

- If your blood could give me happiness, I'd ask for just a drop. If your breath could fill my soul, I'd ask for just a whisper. If your tears could save my life, I'd say not a word; for I'd rather die than to see and make you cry.

- Crying doesn't indicate that you're weak, since birth, it's been a sign that you're still alive.

And now, some of my favorite quotes :)

· When in doubt, duck. When certain don't bother, cuz you're already screwed.
· Sometimes smart people can do very, very stupid things.
· You can't light fireworks in the basement and not get caught.
· Hair is flammable. VERY flammable.
· Never ever trust your friend with a scissors against your hair.
· Someday you will look back on this and it will all seem funny.
If you can laugh at yourself, you are going to be fine.
· There are two kinds of people in this world...those that play hopscotch and sing in the shower, and those that lie alone at night with tears in their eyes. Everyone has a choice as to which we want to be...and everyone is a little of both.

- Have you seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it.

- When life gives you lemons... make grape juice and leave the world wondering how the hell you did it!

- Life is just a phase, it will eventually end just as it had started.

- Stupidity killed the cat. Curiousity was framed.

- If love was a plane, everything would crash and burn because the pilot is an idiot and the copilot is even more so.

Sarcasm is your mind's natural defense against stupidity.

When life gives you lemons, make Grape juice, sit back, and watch the world wonder how you did it.

It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

-You say psycho like it's a bad thing!

-Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

-When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it

-When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate

-When life gives you lemons, throw them at the mean people and hope it gets them in the eyes

-If at first you don't succeed, burn all the evidence that you tried

-The only reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answer I accept

-Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered, "Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

-Cheese will rule do not deny the truth

-Everyday I think people can't get any stupider. Everyday I am proven horribly wrong

-All sane people who worked here quit

-Everything is funny as long as it's happening to some one else

-One by one penguins steal my sanity, but since when have I been sane

-I've been given sugar. Please use this time to prepare for the end of the world

-What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding

-It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with contentious and angry women

-A vase is basically a flower torture device; you rip it from its home, put it in a small container and watch it die slowly

-I will temporarily rule the world, forever

-If you don't like the way I drive stay off the sidewalk!

-A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

I'm no physician, but there appears to be a dagger through my chest.

When nothing in life is going right- go left, then drag people in the other direction.

A mountain that eats people . . . I want one

If I had no sense of humor then I would have committed suicide long ago

This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

If at first you don't succeed . . . go back and reload the gun.

Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them

There are few problems that can’t be solved with high explosives. Only a few.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

Shoot first, shoot later, shoot again, then when everyone's dead, try to ask a question or two

If brute force doesn't work, you're not using enough of it.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Don't look at me with that tone of voice!

Fiction is a lie and good fiction is the truth inside the lie

You've gotta die in creative ways.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

Push something hard enough and it will fall.

I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you wouldn't have been notified.

Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many.

Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

Docters say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

When life gives you lemons make apple juice and then laugh when people try to figure out what the hell you did.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

Did you know Sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity.

Have seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it.

Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball makes a big hole in paper.

It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read in school about the wars that solved America's problems?

364 days of the years kids are told not to take candy from strangers, but on Halloween it's encouraged! Why is that?

Boys are like trees- they take 50 years to grow up.

How are the force and duct tape the same?- They both have light and dark sides and hold the universe together.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

Definition of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some priminal areas.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

I'm here because heaven wouldn't take me and hell was afraid I'd take over.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

Well, i think i'm done here.

My profile's pretty long...so far. XP

Oh, i have something for all of you.

You only say I'm a freak because the rest of you are normal.

That is a quote that I made. DON'T STEAL IT OR I'LL MURDER YOU WITH A SPOON! :D

Have a good...no, have a cool...Oh i got it.

Have your day just the way you want it! No one will tell you how your day should be! XD

I love you all! XOXOXOXOXO