OldMan39
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Joined 10-18-10, id: 2580757, Profile Updated: 02-15-15
Author has written 10 stories for Harry Potter, and Aliens/Predator.

This is an old profile, and I'm only keeping it active to review, and in case I post something again at some point (which I probably shall; alternatively, I might move over to AO3).

I wrote the stories here when I was an angst-wracked, oily-faced teen; now that I am a stress-wracked, oily-haired man, I look back on them and see all of the flaws in my writing which seemed like enormously clever touches at the time I wrote them. Not that these stories are bad per se, but they definitely have problems! Hopefully my writing has improved since I wrote them, and any new stories I post will be less faulty.

As for personal details: I like lo mein. I like obscure or generally disliked characters, in addition to more typically beloved characters. And I like to read about hugs.

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Metamorphosis by Travithian Axile reviews
Light sacrifices himself to himself. It's an old story. One-shot, Yotsuba arc, from the beginning to the end.
Death Note - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,467 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/26/2013 - Light Y., L - Complete
Markings Of The Mind by Ratt9 reviews
Rather than leaving there unscathed, Light completely loses his grip over his sanity in solitary confinement and finds himself losing his mind.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,103 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 19 - Published: 4/27/2012 - Light Y., L - Complete
Shattered words by Inkfire reviews
The story of his life was quiet and sad, not dramatic at all. It was whispered in the dark, and he didn't like to listen - but he had to. A drabble for the Character Quest, self-challenge.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 990 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/27/2011 - Q. Quirrell - Complete
Harry Potter Must Die by Pelahnar reviews
"No, no, no - Dementors don't kill, Harry!""Kiss. That's what I meant-I have to be Kissed. It's inevitable." A new take on the time travel scene in PoA, where Harry saves himself in the nick of time...or does he?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,401 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 12 - Published: 3/12/2011 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
In Which Muggle Activism Creates Trouble for Harry by tarrynot reviews
AU: Harry has defeated Voldemort with minimal death and carnage and is returning to Hogwarts for his 7th year. On the way to platform 9 and 3/4, an over-zealous animal rights activist challenges Harry about his owl.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,114 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/24/2010 - Harry P., Hedwig
Snippets of Tonks by CossetteLune reviews
30 drabbles in 30 days challenge. All about Tonks, it'll range from everything to everything else. R&R
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 32 - Words: 16,996 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10/23/2010 - Published: 9/23/2010 - N. Tonks - Complete
POV: Charlie Swan by dancin-stephanie reviews
I summary of thoughts from Bella's childhood, from Charlie's POV. Just the beginning, there'll be more. We always knew that Bella was a weird one.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 503 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/9/2010 - Bella, Charlie S.
Concerning a Wand by Shipwright's Trick reviews
Ollivander's shop, from Harry's wand-to-be's POV.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 871 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/17/2010 - Harry P., G. Ollivander - Complete
What Ho, Snape by Gannet reviews
Crossover with the Harry Potter universe - “Voldie, old chap,” Wormtail told me one bright July morn, “Voldie, old chap, I need your help.”.
Jeeves - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,983 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 15 - Published: 2/4/2010 - Complete
Customer support by xt1me reviews
CRACK! What if Sauron didn’t make the ring but bought it. And now that he’s lost it Saruman must ring tech support
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 649 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/20/2010 - Saruman, Sauron - Complete
Immortality by notwisefox reviews
You've been living a lie. Immortality seduced you and won out. The only thing left for you now is Death; and he's grinning. My take on Arra's final battle.
Darren Shan Saga/Cirque Du Freak - Rated: K - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 891 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Arra Sails - Complete
Domestic Blitz by Can't Stand Deathly Hallows reviews
What are the most important traits to ensure success in battle? Does a duelist need training, experience or a motive to win? Perhaps the most important thing is love and a willingness to win against all odds...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,394 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Complete
Shade of l337 by Subieko reviews
A retelling of the prologue, rescue at Gilead, and final battles scenes from Eragon...except this time, Durza has learned l337speak, and will use it to pwn the elves!
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,279 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/3/2008 - Published: 3/20/2007 - Complete
A Histrionic Prat By Any Other Name… by Twisted Biscuit reviews
In his fifth year at Hogwarts, Tom Riddle concocts a new name for himself. A name which no one is ever allowed to use... Yes, because THAT sounds practical, Tom.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,422 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 29 - Published: 10/30/2007 - Tom R. Jr., Fenrir G. - Complete
Gundabad by Salsify reviews
Mount Gundabad was once the gathering place for all the Dwarf clans, and the place where Durin first awoke, but the Dwarves never speak of reclaiming it from the orcs. Why not?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,100 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/23/2006 - Complete
The Castle and I by YouCan'tBeSerious reviews
Princesses have been known to fall for merchants. Countesses have been known to get a crushes on gypsies. But never has anyone heard of a Great Castle falling for a shack. Until now. Shreiking Shack x Hogwarts Castle
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 530 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/11/2006
A Gift of Magic by MarbleGlove reviews
On a silent night, war approaches and loyalties are suspect, but beyond it all, it's still Christmas.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,397 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/24/2005 - Argus F., Severus S. - Complete
Gambit by Harmony Bites reviews
One shot. Ron plays chess with Harry while contemplating ruthless choices. Warning: HBP spoilers and if you hate Snape, neither this fic nor author will be to your liking.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,532 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 191 - Follows: 22 - Published: 10/31/2005 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
The Heads of One Thousand Goblins: A Love Story by SickleYield reviews
Gimli son of Gloin never forgot the Lady Galadriel. But love can find you in the most unexpected places and the strangest ways...An unusual thing in this section: A Gimli story which does not, repeat, NOT contain any elves. At all.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,935 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 15 - Published: 8/17/2005 - Gimli - Complete
Blaise's Birthday Party! by Backroads reviews
Hogwarts students throw a surprise party for Blaise in honor of his many achievements. Or try to, any way.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 558 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/2/2005 - Blaise Z., Hermione G. - Complete
Hermione Granger, Muggleborn Witch by RHr Fan reviews
Hermione recieves her letter of acceptance into Hogwarts. One shot, short ficlet. Please rr!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,900 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/14/2004 - Hermione G. - Complete
Intelligent Conversations by Backroads reviews
What Crabbe and Goyle talk about when no one is around.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 401 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 300 - Follows: 38 - Published: 12/28/2003 - Gregory G., Vincent C. - Complete
Red Comedy by Li Kayun reviews
[Darren Shan/Spoiler for Books 5 and 6] And he looks at the hand in front of him, trying not to laugh or cry, laugh and cry, at the irony of it all.
Misc. Books - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,134 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/18/2003
Death of a Fan by Backroads reviews
Harry's fan dies. Written before OotP came out, but still worth a read.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 207 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/13/2003 - Harry P. - Complete
From the Mystic Journal of Sybil Trelawny by Audra Lachesis reviews
Sybil Trelawny is sick of being branded a fraud. She's out to prove that her Inner Eye has 20/20 vision, by keeping a private journal of her own predictions. What does she See in store for Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the other denizens of Hogwarts?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,016 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/25/2002
You Know Who's on First by Iniga reviews
Hagrid meets Harry during the first book. There is a misunderstanding. Nothing else to say but that I'm very sorry and I truly regret this. One part.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,478 - Reviews: 289 - Favs: 605 - Follows: 91 - Published: 1/23/2002 - Complete
Dinner Party by Princess of Drasnia reviews
This is NOT a serious fanfiction. It is hopelessly strange and utterly weird. It is about how the characters feel about the books about them...*modified a bit*
David Eddings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,199 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/27/2001
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Strange Circumstances reviews
This is an odd story set during the second movie, 'Aliens', after Hudson is dragged under the floor by the aliens. It involves Hudson and Burke and shoes. AU, most likely. Warning for quite appalling language. Please R&R.
Aliens/Predator - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,275 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/11/2011 - Published: 3/5/2011
Conflicting Loyalties reviews
Before Snape leaves to tell Dumbledore about Voldemort's intentions to kill the Potters, he has a short conversation with Lucius Malfoy. Please R&R, as always.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,111 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Published: 2/2/2011 - Severus S., Lucius M. - Complete
Lack of Immortality reviews
Barty Crouch Jr. has never had good luck with friends. Warning: has some dark/depressing content. Please R&R.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,912 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/3/2010 - Barty C. Jr. - Complete
Holidays in Azkaban reviews
Two Death Eaters find a way to celebrate the winter holidays in Azkaban. Sort of an entry for Muchcoffee and Flyinglion's holiday contest. Please R&R.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,636 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 7 - Published: 12/1/2010 - Avery, Mulciber - Complete
Hogwarts reviews
A selection of scenes throughout Tom Riddle's life, all of which concern Hogwarts. Please R&R.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,169 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/23/2010 - Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Illogical Sentiments reviews
Percy Weasley and Penelope Clearwater discuss the nature of reality and romance. Please R&R.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,378 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 11/12/2010 - Percy W., Penelope C. - Complete
Worse Than Death reviews
Draco Malfoy is depressed and looking for something to do with his life. After a chance encounter in Azkaban, he has an idea for what that might be. Warning: has some rather dark subject matter. Please R&R.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,732 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/12/2010 - Published: 10/28/2010 - Draco M., Barty C. Jr. - Complete
Appointment reviews
Tom Marvolo Riddle visits a psychiatrist. Things do not go well. Please R&R.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,363 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Published: 11/10/2010 - Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Folktales reviews
Dumbledore finds a unique way to unwind. Please R&R.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,173 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 11/4/2010 - Albus D. - Complete
A Very Bad Tooth reviews
Harry accompanies the Dursleys into London, and unexpectedly encounters a friend there. Please R&R.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,457 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/20/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete