Musician, accountant, gaming dork, malcontent, escape artist, dreamer, realist, pessimist, optimist, everything, nothing, but I still frigging want to go back to 1987.

Music is my damn life. I don't have to give you a list of favorite artists because it would not only take up a few thousand pages, but I don't need to prove who I've heard of and know. If I could, I'd spend half my life going on tour and the other half doing things like growing and canning my own vegetables and being totally sustainable on my own. (I love to cook and bake, wish I had a real kitchen instead of my studio apartment box one.) Either way, it would involve not being chained to the 9-to-5 world waiting for the day I no longer have to do taxes and conduct audits for a living. Did I mention I deal with a ton of really stupid people on a daily basis and it drives me up the freakin wall?

Thus, writing fanfic is a good outlet for me. It lets me explore totally reprehensible themes and things I don't even agree with, like committing adultery and theft, in a non-pretentious environment. The pretention is why I majored in Accounting opposed to Creative Writing, Journalism, or English. I think anyone with passion can write, a "right" degree or having one at all doesn't mean s#!t to me. It's also all in how one TELLS a story more than the actual story itself half the time.

On the surface I'm a well-educated tax accountant but underneath it I'm a tortured artist who feels true intellect and perception, along with your identity, come from life experience, not from college or what your parents and co-workers tell you. Yeah, because if I spent my life listening to my father, I would've never experienced anything for myself and things would've been pretty boring. That and most of my co-workers are pretty stupid people who are the reason why Europeans hate Americans.

I'm into mostly smutty vamp fanfics (Twilight, Vampire Diaries, True Blood) and have been working on my own. I have a penchant for cliff-hangers but also want to give one-shots and non-canons a try. Who knows, maybe I can come up with some original works and get enough book royalties to quit my day job. That would be too awesome.

I've been told I should get into stand-up comedy but I prefer print because not everyone gets my sarcastic delivery. There's certain things you can do onstage that you can't do in print and vice versa but I think I'm better with print because you can reread and absorb it, some of the stuff I say goes over people's heads and it's not the same. My comedic influences are Eddie Murphy, Roseanne Barr, Peter Steele (as well as musical), Bea Arthur, Richard Pryor, and Weird Al Yankovic...for all you younguns out there, his film "UHF" is what paved the way for all those quirky comedies like Napolean Dynamite and Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job!