Chapter 41

April 2, 2000

9:27 AM

Hermione came slowly into consciousness. Her body felt sore, as though she had been run over by a herd of angry hippogriffs. She opened her eyes to bright sunlight streaming in through the windows above her head. With a small groan, she pulled herself up onto her elbows. Looking around her, she realized that she was in the hospital wing. To her right was a bassinet. She couldn't see into it but she assumed that Lyra must be there. To her left was Severus, asleep in a chair beside the bed. His arms were crossed over his chest and his head hung forward, hair curtaining around his face.

"Severus," she called to him gently.

His eyes snapped open and he looked up slowly to see her watching him. His dark eyes were guarded as he got up without a word, striding out of the curtain surrounding her bed.

Hurt, Hermione shifted her gaze back to the bassinet. Flashes of the night before crossed her mind and she hurried to suppress them. Her baby girl was here. Wincing through the pain that slashed across her abdomen, she moved to get up from the bed. She needed to see her daughter.

"Hermione, just what do you think you are doing?" chastised Poppy as she bustled into the curtain framing her bed.

"Lyra," she answered weakly.

"Is doing fine. You were successful in stopping anything from happening to your daughter," the mediwitch assured her young charge. Severus hovered at the foot of the bed, his arms crossed and his face expressionless. "Now, if you're feeling up to it, I think it's time for Lyra to have her first meal from Mum."

Poppy helped Hermione into a sitting position and gently placed Lyra into her mother's arms for the very first time. Overcome with emotion, tears streamed down her face. She saw Severus turn to leave.

"Stay," she called to him, feeling vulnerable.

He paused and turned back.

Once Lyra was latched and nursing steadily, Poppy excused herself to return to her paperwork. After she was gone, it was silent but for the soft sounds from the baby. Severus approached the side of the bed slowly.

"Hermione," he breathed lowly, breaking his silence for the first time. He spoke her name almost reverently. "I can never say anything that could excuse the words that I said to you yesterday. I will never be able to express to you how sorry I am for them. It was not true, what I said. I was angry and frustrated and I had had an awful day. I lashed out. Wrongly. Words cannot express the regret that I feel, that I felt as soon as I said that I do not love you. Hermione…" He paused, looking down at her. His black eyes burned. "I am so in love with you that it hurts. Last night I thought that I was going to lose you and I could not bear it. The thought of losing you hurt me so badly that I felt it physically. I can no longer imagine my life without you. I have no wish to return to the way things were before I found you. If you will still allow me, I will spend the rest of my life showing you how serious I am."

She kept her gaze on her precious infant as she suckled contentedly. The silence stretched on and he felt his heart start to sink. "Yesterday I would have said no. I would have made you beg me on your hands and knees," she said finally. "But Severus, I almost died. Our child almost died. If things had gone just a tiny bit differently…" She stopped, choking up. She didn't even want to think about it. She squeezed her eyes shut hard, blocking out the flash of anguish at the thought of losing their baby.

After a few deep breaths she continued, "Last night put things into perspective for me. I do not want to lose you." She looked up at him, meeting his eyes. "I have loved you for months now, Severus. I was never going to say anything. I was content to know it and keep it to myself. I can't deny you now. We came so close to losing everything. I accept your apology."

"I love you," he said firmly.

"I love you too."

He lowered himself onto the edge of the bed beside her legs. The room was silent. Severus placed a hand on her leg, needing to feel her warmth. Merlin, she was right. They had come so dangerously close to losing their daughter and each other, just when they had found each other.

"What happened?" Hermione asked eventually.

She saw him tense. "That fucking bastard tried to kill you both," he spat.

"I know," she said softly. "What happened after I blacked out?"

"When I arrived home after my meeting, you weren't there. Your cat was a wreck. As much as I hate admitting that I listened to a cat, she was correct that something was wrong. I used the map to find you."

Hermione smiled slightly. "I bet Harry looked like a deer in headlights when you asked for it."

Ignoring the comment, Severus continued. "I watched you both fall. I thought you'd died," he admitted. "Hermione, I don't know what I would have done if you had died." A lump formed in his throat, which he cleared gruffly.

"And Lestrange?"

"Dead. Your well-placed spell ended his life in a befittingly slow and painful manner," he answered viciously. "I only wish that I could have been the one to do it, though I do appreciate your using my spell."

"He wanted to use Lyra to resurrect Voldemort. He said… He said that in a way I'd be the mother of the Dark Lord."

A guttural growl formed low in his throat. Moving up to the head of the bed beside Hermione, he tucked her against himself, careful not to jar the baby who was slowing down steadily. "You gave that fucker what he had coming to him," Severus snarled. "I gave too much to that psychotic bastard in my life. Not my wife and never my child." He took a few deep breaths before admitting, "I may never let either of you out of my sight again."

She smiled slightly and leaned against his chest. "That may be ok with us."

Severus stared down at their baby. Her small head was covered by a patch of pitch black hair lying flat against her skin. "She's beautiful," he whispered.

Hermione smiled. "I think she has your hair."

"I hope it will be curly like yours." He reached out to stroke the soft hair on her head. Lyra let out a soft coo at his touch and he felt his heart contract almost painfully. "Hello, little one," he greeted her softly. "I promise to always keep you safe, and your mum too."

He knew that if it cost him his own life he would always keep that promise.

oOo

August 28, 2004

Severus sat patiently with a book in his hands as his four-year-old daughter stood behind him on the couch giggling while she worked.
"Lyra," he reminded her mildly, "your mother is asleep so we need to be quiet."

From the hallway, Hermione smiled behind her hand. Severus had turned out to be an exceptional father. He was firm with their daughter when she needed it – which was often, as she was already equally as stubborn as her parents – but gentle and kind with her always. Hermione could count on one hand the number of times that her husband had raised his voice to their daughter.

"Why Severus," she said, stepping into the living room, "I do think you should have Lyra do your hair when the students arrive in a few days."

Casting his eyes towards the hall where Hermione stood leaning against a wall, he lazily conjured a mirror and examined Lyra's handiwork. His hair was in about twelve little ponytails sticking up every which way.

"What do you think, Daddy?" piped Lyra.

Wryly, his mouth twisted up in a smile. "It's lovely."

"Yay!" she squealed, leaping off the couch to run to her mum.

Hermione put a hand protectively over her very swollen belly as her daughter ploughed headfirst into her in a hug. "Careful honey, your little sister doesn't appreciate being head-butted you know." She ran a hand through Lyra's dark curls fondly.

"When do I get to meet her?" Lyra whined dramatically.

"Patience, Lyra. It'll just be a few weeks now," Severus answered as he got to his feet. He was a comical sight as he crossed their living room with his hair spiked in every direction, but Hermione didn't mind. She kissed him happily when he came to stand beside her. "I love you," he whispered in her ear.

A soft smile graced her lips as she watched their daughter climb on the couch and caressed the bump of their next. "I love you too, Severus."

A/N: Well folks, that's a wrap. Now as I'm writing this I can scarcely believe that it's finally finished. I have spent the last eight years of my life slaving over this beast. I don't quite know what I'll do next but I hope to see some of you lovely reviewers again!

If any of you have any concerns about the way this turned out (as I'm sure some of you will have), feel free to message me and I would be happy to discuss why I did what I did.

Thank you so much to everyone who put up with me and my spotty updates over the years! I love you all very much.

Ninja Goldfish