ALL ABOUT ME!!

Im 18, I love reading fanfics. Im like addicted to writing. I'm currently writing a novel. I have medium length blonde hair. Thats about it. Im sorry i really suck at doing these "about me" things. Don't hate me for it.

Female Comebacks

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could re arrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your legs, they're amazing.
Woman: Good, then watch me walk. (This ones mine!)

Funny Right?

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

If you have seen the Twilight movie more than 5 times, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

98 of teenagers have participated in underage drinking and drugs. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy this into your profile wearing a smirk of pride

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile (I got my friends addicted 2!)

-If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.

If you think Stephenie Meyer should continue Midnight Sun, copy this to your profile

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(0.0)
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Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down. I bet you can't resist passing it on when you're done!

A Twilight Survey

Which book in the series is your favorite?

Breaking Dawn all the way!

How long did it take you to read the books?

Idk. A couple months think. Only becuz I read the first one and had to wait a month to get the others. I got the last three for x-mas.

Who introduced you to the books

My friend Dezy.

Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?

I bought the first one, my worker gave me the second one, and my mom got me the third and fourth.

Are you most looking forward to: Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, or the movie?

Well, I own Breaking Dawn and the movie, so Midnight Sun.(if she Stephanie finishes writing it.)

What's your dream ending to the series?

I like the way it ended

Favorites:

Who is your favorite character?

Edward

Who's your favorite vampire?

Carlisle. I would purposelly hurt myself to get close to him.

Who is your favorite werewolf?

Jake I guess.

What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?

Hold on tight spider monkey. Edward, twilight.

What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?

When they are standing completely naked in the water on their honeymoon.

What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?

In eclipse when bella punches jacob and he tells her to use a crowbar next time.

How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment?

When Alice takes Bella hostage.

What was your favorite adventure/battle?

In BD when Bella attacks Jacob because he nicknamed her daughter after the Loch Ness Monster.

Which book cover was your favorite?

New Moon.

Are these books among your favorite books of all?

Yes they are among my faves.

This or That?

Twilight or New Moon?

Twilight

New Moon or Eclipse?

Eclipse

Eclipse or Twilight?

Eclipse

Are you more excited about Breaking Dawn or Midnight Sun?

Midnight Sun. Ive already read BD at least 10 times.

Midnight Sun or the Twilight Movie?

Twilight the movie. Midnight sun might not get finished.

The Twilight Movie or Breaking Dawn?

I have Twilight the movie so I guess BD the movie. I have the book.

Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob

Edward. No matter how much I wish he were mine...

Who do you like more:

Bella or Edward?

Edward

Bella or Jacob?

Bella

Bella or Alice?

Alice.

Alice or Jacob?

Alice.

Rosalie or Alice?

Alice

Jasper or Alice?

Jasper

Jasper or Edward?

Jasper

Carlisle or Esme?

Carlisle/DrMcSparkley

Emmett or Jasper

Jazzy

Emmett or Jacob?

Emmett!

Bella or Rosalie

Rosalie

Esme or Charlie?

Esme

Charlie or Carlisle?

CarlisleéDr. Mcsparkley

Charlie or Billy?

Charlie

Jacob or Sam?

Sam

Sam or Quil?

Sam

Quil or Embry?

Embry

Who's the better villian: James or Victoria?

Victoria, she didn’t die til the third book.

Werewolves or Vampires?

VAMPIRES!

Movie Stuff:

How did you first find out about the movie?

I read the book and that was all my friends would talk about.

Are you going to go see it?

Well, if I have the movie I think that means I already saw it! =D

Planning on going with anyone in particular?

I saw it with my friend and sister.

Raelynn

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):

Raeizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal):

Crimson Squirrell

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name and current street name):

Christine Wales

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink):

Violet Chocolate Milk

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name):

Aecribsn

(I have two sisters. The b is for one, the s is for the other.)

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name):

Ellen

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets):

Black Buddy

List Your Favorite 12 Twilight Characters

1-Alice

2-Edward

3- Jasper

4-Emmett

5-Nessie

6-Rose

7-Carlisle

8- Esme

9-Bella

10- James

11- Jake

12- Aro

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

Rose/Jake? Yepperz!

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Emmett? Smokin' hot!

3) What would happen if Three got Four pregnant?

Jasper getting Emmett pregnant? I’d like to see that!

4) Do you recall any fics about Nine?

Bella? I read one this morning!

5) Would Two and Eleven make a good couple?

Edward/Jacob? NO! Edward’s doesn’t go like that.

6) Five/Eight or Five/Ten?

Nessie/Esme or Nessie/James...I'mma go with Nessie/James.

7) What would happen if One walked in on Five and Six having sex?

What would happen if Alice walked in on Nessie and Rose having sex? You know, I don't wanna know!

8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fic.

Jasper/James? One day, Jasper finds James in the forest and they get into a huge fight and then James follows Jasper back to the Cullen house and he is surrounded by the Cullens and the wolves and is killed or something.

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?

Alice/Esme? I haven’t found any but I bet there is one out there somewhere.

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.

Carlise/Aro? Doctor McSparkley and the depressed leader

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?

Emmett to de-flower Alice? I don’t know.

12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

Does anyone on my friends list read Jasper het? What the hell is het?!

13) What might 3 scream at a moment of great passion?

Ahh! Stop that Alice!! It tickles!!

14) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Esme?? Long Night by Star Salzman. It says that’s her fave song.

15) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Alice/Rose/Aro? WARNING: PIXIE, TANTRUMS AND VOLTURI DEAD AHEAD!

16) What might be a good pick-up line for 1 to use on Two?

A pick up line from Alice to Edward? “I can see the future and right now I see you coming home with me"

17) When was the last time you read a fic about Five

Nessie? Yesterday. It was mine.

18) "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3)."

"Alice and Carlisle are in a happy relationship until Bella runs off with Emmett. Alice, brokenhearted has a hot one-night stand with Jacob and a brief unhappy affair with Aro, then follows the wise advice of Nessie and finds true love with Jasper."

That is creepy how that worked out. Alice and Jasper ended up together in the end. I swear I didn’t purposely do that!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me: ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."
19. My mother taught me: ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me: HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
Mother taught me: Genetics
"I swear you're just like your father."
23. My Mother taught me about my Roots
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My Mother taught me Wisdom
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about Justice
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her

When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her

When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and dont let go

When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong

When she ignore's you, Give her your attention

When she pull's away, Pull her back

When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared, Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay

When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up

When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand

When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does

When she misses you, she's hurting inside

When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away

When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

Tease her and let her tease you back

Stay up all night with her when she's sick

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid

Give her the world

Let her wear your clothes

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

Let her know she's important

Kiss her in the pouring rain

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"