A/N: Um, so yeah... I fail. Thank you to my betas Twichicky & Mrsalreyami. And a HUGE thank you to all my readers and reviewers - I hope I haven't lost you completely during my update fail. Please read a/n at the end of this chapter.

Previously:

"Too much to drink last night, dear brother?" Alice's high pitched voice was not helping my head.

"Shhh…not so loud Alice, my head feels like it's going to explode. And what the fuck are you two laughing about?"

"Oh, nothing." Alice giggled, sliding two aspirin and a glass of water across the table to me. "Here take these; they'll make you feel better."

I looked at her through narrow eyes before swiping up the pills and swallowing them with a drink of water.

"So, you about ready?" Bella stood from the table, grabbing her purse and throwing it over her shoulder.

"Yeah, sure, let's go."

We walked out to my car and I opened the door for her to get in before walking around and sliding behind the steering wheel. As I pulled out onto the road I noticed Bella kept looking over at me then would giggle. I tried to ignore her at first but after the third time I had to know what was so fucking funny.

BPOV

I knew I shouldn't be laughing at him. I was actually quite pissed off at his stupid drunkard ass for ruining my opportunity to get away from the party last night, but I just couldn't help myself. I knew Edward was a bit of a manwhore - I'd heard all about his many conquests from Alice - but I seriously thought he had more class than to fuck Lauren. I mean, ew. She is like a breeding ground for bad disease. But sure enough, Alice, Rose, and I watched in horror and amusement the night before as Edward disappeared up the stairs with her. The timing couldn't have been more perfect considering what Alice had just told me, and, for a moment, she looked so pissed that I thought she was going to chase Edward and Lauren up the stairs.

***

After Alice rescued me from Edward in the kitchen, we danced a little before she dragged me over to the bar where Rose was standing and forced shots at me. I had no real desire to get drunk; actually, I was feeling rather frustrated. I had promised Carlisle I would sneak away and come over, but Edward, of course, ruined my attempted escape; and Alice hadn't left me alone for a moment since, so I couldn't let Carlisle know I wasn't coming.

I realized Alice wasn't letting me get out of doing a shot with her, and, needing to dull the ache I was feeling at the realization that I was stuck here all night, I gave in and tossed back the golden liquid, scrunching my face at the bitter taste.

It was only a few minutes later when Alice started her interrogation of me and my love life, or what she felt was a lack thereof. Little did she know. I wasn't surprised by her questions, I was surprised about her opinion that Edward liked me; and not like a friend either. To say I was in shock was an understatement, but that shock quickly turned to amusement, and admittedly, relief, when Rose blurted out, "No fucking way! Ewww."

Alice and I turned around just in time to see Edward and Lauren going upstairs together. If steam could have come out of Alice's ears, it would have. Obviously, if Edward liked me, he wouldn't have taken Lauren upstairs, but I had to admit, if I really thought about it, it did make sense. Fuck! I hoped to God that he didn't like me like that - that would certainly make things awkward. I could never be with Edward. I mean, he's cute and all, but he's more like an annoying brother. Besides, I had everything I wanted in Carlisle; I couldn't imagine being with anyone else.

"Um, Alice? I don't think Edward likes me," I giggled. I couldn't help it - Lauren and Edward was just...fucking comical!

Alice looked away from the stairs and back to me, mouth agape and a look of sheer disgust on her face. Without a word, she quickly grabbed the bottle of tequila and poured herself another shot, tossing it back and slamming the glass down before saying, "Forget what I said Bella. My brother's an ass."

"Well, I could have told you that!" Rose shot back, earning her a glare from Alice.

Twenty minutes later, we were still at the bar, finishing off the last of the tequila - well, Alice and Rose finished most of it; I knew my limit and wasn't looking for a hangover in the morning - when Lauren came back downstairs, sans Edward, looking more than a little frazzled.

Lauren brazenly walked over and plunked herself down in the bar stool next to us. "Have you seen Jessica?"

I could barely keep it together when Rose spat at her, "What's the matter Lauren? Edward couldn't get it up when he smelled your twat?"

Alice and I snorted, and Lauren shot us all a glare. "Fuck you, Rose. I assure you, Edward's dick worked just fine. In fact, I made him come so hard that he's still upstairs recovering."

We all winced, and Alice pretended to gag before saying, "Oh God, I'll be right back. I need to take Edward the bleach so he can dip his dick in it before it falls off."

"Fuck you all!" Lauren said, storming off toward Jessica, who was walking towards us. The two of them left shortly after that, and Alice, who really had gone upstairs with bleach, came back down to announce that Edward was passed out, ass-up, in his bed.

~~**~~

I giggled again at the memory, and Edward shot me a look. "Alright! Why the fuck do you keep laughing at me?"

I tried to reign in my amusement and turned to face him. I attempted to maintain a straight face, contemplating if I should say anything or not. "It's just...well..."

"Arrrgh... Just what?!" Edward snapped in obvious annoyance.

"Lauren? Really Edward? She's just so…so…she's such a slut!"

"Lauren?" His brow furrowed and he looked confused. "What are you talki…." His voice trailed off, and a sudden look of realization crossed his features. He quickly glanced at me, eyes wide, before turning back to the road and gripping the steering wheel so tightly the skin on his knuckles turned white. In contrast to his white knuckles, a flush began creeping up his neck until his entire face was the color of brick. I had never seen Edward blush before; he turned an amazing shade of red.

"Fuck!" He muttered angrily under his breath.

It was obvious that he was embarrassed, but I wasn't sure why until it occurred to me that he didn't remember taking Lauren upstairs last night. Call me a bitch, but I was humored even more as I stared at him and watched the differing emotions play across his face. The laughter bubbled up and out of me before I could stop it. "Oh my God, Edward, you forgot didn't you? She obviously wasn't a worthwhile fuck."

"Wha...? Just shut-it Bella, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about!" He snapped, instantly silencing my laughter.

"What-the-fuck-ever, but don't yell at me Edward Masen. I'm not the one who got so drunk that I acted like an asshole and then took the slut of the century up to my room. It's not my fault you don't remember."

"Shit, Bella... Listen, I didn't fuck Lauren..."

"No?" I interrupted. "Because she sure looked fucked last night when she came back down from your room. She looked a little pissed too, but then again, you guys weren't gone for long, so I figured it was because you were a two pump chump. I'd be pissed too."

And I was pissed now. How dare he get angry with me after how he acted toward me last night in the kitchen? And come to think of it, I was also pissed that he got laid last night, and I didn't because of his stupid fuckery. Not to mention the fact that Carlisle was disappointed; we'd barely spent any time together all week!

"Why are you being such a bitch?" he had the audacity to ask.

"Why are you always such an asshole?" I countered.

He looked at me, stunned. "Touché."

We drove in silence for several minutes when Edward finally spoke again. "I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"S'okay." I shrugged.

"No, it's really not." He ran his hand through his messy hair, making it look impossibly messier. "I'm just... frustrated is all; last night is a bit... blurry."

"I figured as much."

"But I didn't stick my dick in Lauren... Well, I didn't fuck her at least."

"Oh God, please, spare me the details."

"Right."

He looked... well, he looked kinda disappointed in himself, and I actually started feeling a little sorry for him.

"Edward, hey, I'm sorry, too. It's none of my business who you screw around with, I shouldn't laugh at you."

Edward shrugged and continued to drive silently. We arrived at La Push a short time later, pulling in front of Jake's just after 1:00 p.m. Jake and Leah were sitting on the porch and quickly jumped up to greet us.

"Bella! Edward!" Jake called out as he bounded down the porch steps, the familiar wide grin spread across his face. "It's about time. I was beginning to think you weren't going to show and I was going to have to drive the Red Flyer to your house and kick your ass." Jake said, scooping me up in a bear hug as I climbed out of the car.

"Hey, don't blame me, blame the lush over there." I gestured to Edward. "I practically had to drag his hung-over ass outta bed this morning."

Edward approached, and he and Jake shook hands. "Long night, man?" Jake asked sarcastically.

Edward smiled, chuckling to himself, "You have no idea."

"Come on," Jake nodded toward his house, "Let's go inside. The rest of the guys are hanging out playing video games in the living room."

As much as I wanted to be over at Carlisle's, I was happy to see Jake and the rest of the La Push crew. In addition to Jake and Leah, Quil and Embry - Jake's best friends - were there, as well as Leah's cousin, Emily, and her boyfriend Sam. The first couple of hours on the reservation were spent crammed in Jake's living room, catching up and reminiscing about the trouble we used to get into when we were little and my dad would bring me down during my summer visits to play with Jake while he and Billy fished. For the most part, Edward sat quietly next to me, listening to the banter going on back and forth - that is, until Embry decided to ask how long the two of us had been dating.

"What?!" I asked, surprise evident in my voice.

"Dating. I asked how long you've been dating," Embry repeated.

"Uh, Embry, I think you're mistaken," I shook my head back in forth, unable to hold back from giggling at the thought, "Edward and I are not dating."

Embry's brow creased as he looked from me to Edward, with obvious confusion. "Really?" He shrugged, "Huh. I thought for sure you guys were together."

"No, we're not. That's just silly."

Edward turned to face me then, and I could tell he was offended, "Thanks a lot. You act like it would be such a horrible thing to date me."

"Uh..." I wasn't sure what to say. I mean, I wouldn't date Edward, the thought was absurd to me, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings either, nor did I want to embarrass him by telling him I would never date him in a room full of people.

Thank God for Jake. He must have sensed the building tension because he chose that moment to announce we were all heading down the beach. "Okay then," Jake said, clapping his hands together, "Why don't we head down to First Beach?"

The boys jumped up and began gathering the necessities: Ice chest, matches for the bonfire, and of course, their precious football. In the meantime, the girls and I grabbed some blankets and a picnic basket of goodies for roasting that Leah had put together. In less than ten minutes we were piling out of the house and trekking our way down to First Beach.

The walk wasn't long, but it wasn't short either, and because we had to hike over some rocky areas along the way, I took my time as not to fall and break my face. Edward allowed the rest of the group to walk ahead of him while he fell back in line with me. At first, we walked in silence; the only sounds being made were those of our footsteps, and the faint, distant laughter of our friends, who at that point were so far ahead I could no longer see them. From the corner of my eye, I could see Edward staring at me, and when I looked over to him, he opened his mouth as if to speak, but then closed it again and focused on the path in front of us.

We were almost to the beach when Edward stopped, grabbing my hand and forcing me to stop as well. "Bella..." He trailed off, looking down and huffing out loudly. It hadn't gone unnoticed by me that he still had a hold of my hand. Looking back at me with a determined expression, he spoke again. "Were you really offended that Embry thought we were together?"

"Um, no?" I said cautiously.

"Listen, Bella, I know I can be an asshole sometimes..."

"Edward, you've already apologized."

"Bella, I'm not trying to apologize again, I'm trying to ask you out on a date."

"Oh. Oh! Oh God, Alice was right!"

"What? Alice? Right about what?"

"Ugh, I'm so blind," I said aloud to myself, smacking my forehead with the palm of my hand.

"Bella, you're confusing the fuck out of me. What was Alice right about?"

"She said... Well, she kind of told me that you've been such a jerk because..."

"Because...?"

"Shit, Edward... She said you like me, okay? But I didn't believe her because you went upstairs with Lauren the Scrotum Yodeler."

"What the hell? I'm going to ring that meddling little shit's neck when I see... Wait; did you just say 'Scrotum Yodeler'?"

I shrugged.

He laughed.

"Okay," he said after regaining his composure. "I'll deal with my nosy sister later, but you still haven't answered me."

"About what?" I stalled, like an idiot.

"Can I take you to dinner?"

"Uh... I don't know, Edward. I mean, it's not that I don't find you attractive, I'd be a fool not to notice, but we've only barely called a truce and... Crap, Edward, you just fucked around with Lauren last night," I shuddered.

"I told you that was a mistake, Bella. I was drunk. And who cares if we just called a truce? Bella, like I said, I know I've been an asshole, but I think you're pretty fucking awesome, and I was mostly jealous anyway."

"Jealous?"

"Of Mr. Cullen. But I don't want to rehash that."

Carlisle. Speaking of jealousy; he would not be happy about Edward asking me out on a date.

"Come on, go out with me?" Edward asked again.

"It's just that, I don't know that I want to date right now." Liar "With graduation just around the corner and college in the fall... I don't want to become attached anyone, you know? I just think it would be best if we were friends right now."

Looking down at his feet, Edward nodded his head slowly. Then the corners of his mouth turned up into a smirk and he looked up at me through his impressively thick eyelashes. "Well, then go to dinner with me as my friend."

"Edward..."

"Just friends," He said, letting my hand go to cross his heart. "I promise."

I had no idea how to get out of this, so reluctantly I agreed, not knowing how I was going to explain this one to Carlisle.

"Fine. But just as friends." I warned.

"Friends." He agreed, holding up the Boy Scout sign with his fingers. "Now, come on, they're probably wondering what happened to us." Edward grabbed my hand again - a little too enthusiastically if you ask me - and dragged me down toward the shore where our friends were setting up.

The rest of the afternoon was spent goofing around on the beach. The boy's played football a majority of the time, while us girls sat around on a large piece of driftwood watching them, acting as their cheerleaders, and chatting amongst each other. After dodging questions from Leah and Emily about my love life and Edward (the girls couldn't believe I wasn't "getting a piece of that"), I managed to wander away and call Carlisle, who practically begged me to sneak away. In all honesty, it made me feel like crap. I hadn't seen him since Friday, and we barely had spoken all weekend - reminding me, once again, how unconventional our relationship was.

I had to hang up when I heard Edward calling my name, and I hurried back to where everyone was; avoiding questions about where I'd wandered off too.

The sun was beginning to set, so the guys went to work building the bonfire, gathering and stacking pieces of driftwood. I always loved the bonfires the Quileute boys would build on nights like this, when the sky was clear and you could see every star in the heavens. I thought it was so peaceful, and tonight, the sky was particularly beautiful, with the sun setting on the water, the waves rippling in shadows of orange. It would have been the perfect romantic setting had Carlisle been here with me, but he wasn't; so instead of relaxing by the bonfire, I was tense and fidgety and couldn't wait to leave.

"Are you okay?" Edward whispered. I was so lost in my own musings that I hadn't noticed him sit down next to me.

I offered him a tentative smile. "It's just been a long day after the party last night, and I'm kind of tired."

"Well then," he stood up, grabbing my hand and pulling me up, too. "Why don't we go?"

I agreed, and Edward went to tell Jake that we were leaving. We hiked back up to Jake's place, and Edward went to the garage to fetch the keys to my truck where Jake had told him they would be. Edward walked with me over to my truck, opening the door for me, and I slid in behind the steering wheel of my old red friend. I couldn't wait to hit the road; I fully planned on making a wrong turn on the way home so I could see Carlisle.

"I'm going to follow you home," Edward told me.

"What? Why?"

"What do you mean, why? To make sure you make it home safe."

Oh, no, no, no, no... Edward was not going to thwart my plans to detour on my way home. "No," I shook my head, "You really don't have to do that; I'll be fine."

"To hell I don't. Bella, this thing is a piece of crap, and you're tired on top of it. I'm not chancing you not making it home safely," he explained. "Besides, if something happened to you, I would never forgive myself."

"I'm a big girl, you know."

"I don't doubt it, but I'm still following you home."

"How very gentlemanly of you," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes at him.

Edward chuckled at me, shutting my door and getting into his own car. Apparently I would not be detouring to Carlisle's; but thought that maybe I could sneak back out after Edward saw me home. Just as he promised, Edward followed behind me until I was safely in my driveway and then, with a quick wave and a nod, he drove off in the direction of his house. I was more than disappointed to see that Charlie was home, which meant I would not be sneaking over to Carlisle's. Fuck!

With a heavy sigh, I turned off my truck, grabbed my bag and headed inside. Unsurprisingly, the sports channel was blaring in the living room and my dad was passed out, snoring in his recliner. I hung my jacket on the coat rack by the door and then went into the living room, using the thin blanket that lay over the back of the couch to cover Charlie. I left the TV on, knowing that if I turned it down or off that it would wake up him up.

After taking a quick shower, I dressed in a tank and a pair of boy shorts, then snatched up my phone from the desk and slid between the cool sheets of my bed. There was only one thing I wanted, and that was Carlisle, and if I couldn't have him in the flesh, I would have to settle for talking to him on the phone.

Carlisle picked up the phone on barely the second ring, relief apparent in his voice. I could tell he was just as happy to talk to me as I was to talk to him. We carried on light conversation at first; I told him about the party the previous night - leaving out the part about Edward cornering me in the kitchen - and how I'd spent my morning and afternoon. In turn, he told me that he'd spent most of the weekend putting together lesson plans and prepping to train the new teacher that was expected to start Monday morning. I was disappointed to learn that my free hour with him wouldn't be so free the coming week, but instead would be spent with Carlisle showing the new teach the ropes. This also meant that I would have to spend the time playing the role of student aide - grading papers, tests and whatever else Carlisle needed me to do. Just great. I already didn't like the new teacher; just for the simple fact that she was going to be taking up the precious little time I was able to spend with my super secret boyfriend.

"I miss you so much. I feel like I was robbed of my time with you this weekend. I wish I had never agreed to go to that stupid party," I whined, feeling sorry for myself.

"I miss you too, baby. I wish like hell that you were right here with me."

"Oh yeah? What would you do if I were?" I asked, feeling playful.

"Hmm... well, first, I would kiss you. I miss your lips, especially your bottom one; it's plump and delectable, and I love to take it between my lips and suck on it."

"Mmmm, I love it when you kiss me. Tell me more," I begged, closing my eyes and brushing my fingers lightly back and forth across my stomach.

"Slowly, I would kiss my way down your neck to your beautiful breasts, taking your nipple into my mouth, using my fingers to pinch your other, just how you like me to. Mmmm... I love your breasts, Bella - they're perfect. You're perfect."

Trailing my hand up underneath my shirt, I traced my nipple lightly with my finger until it was nice and erect, and then pinched it just as I imagined Carlisle would do if he were here now. I loved how smooth and deep Carlisle's voice became during our phone sex sessions; the things he would say to me combined with the way I would touch myself - imagining it was him touching me - never failed to cause a fire to ignite within my body.

"Are you touching your breasts, Bella?" he asked, though he knew good and well I was.

"Mmm... yes, it feels so good."

"God, I want to touch you, Bella. Would you like that?"

"Fuck..." I hissed, "Please."

Cradling the phone between my ear and my shoulder, I trailed my hand down my body and slipped it beneath the waist band of my boy shorts, letting out a small gasp as my fingers grazed over my sensitive nub.

"I love the way you feel, Bella. Always so soft and wet for me. Are you wet for me right now?"

"So wet," I breathed.

"That's my girl. Next, I would slide my fingers into your wet little pussy - first one, then a second."

Slowly, I slid two of my fingers into myself and began pumping them in and out, imagining it was Carlisle who was touching me, fucking me with his long, nimble fingers.

"Fuck, you feel so tight. I want to feel you around me; I want to bury myself deep inside you." I could tell by his breathing and the husky tones in his voice that he was stroking himself. Closing my eyes, I could picture him lying in his bed right now, naked and hard, his hand moving over my most favorite part of his body - next to his hands that is - I love his hands.

My breathing picked up, and I matched him moan for moan as my fingers worked over myself diligently, his name falling from my lips in whispers as I quickly brought myself to the brink of climax. "So close..." I gasped into the phone.

"That's it, baby. Me too," he responded breathlessly.

And then, my body began to quiver, and the familiar and welcome heat spread throughout my body as I came, turning my head to the side and burying my face into my pillow to muffle the sounds I was making. I heard a grunt on the other end of the phone, and then my name, as Carlisle groaned out his release.

Several seconds of silence passed as we both tried to catch our breaths before Carlisle spoke first. "Bella?"

"Hmmm?"

"I love you," he said, "So much."

"I love you, too," I replied. And I did, more than ever; more than anyone.

A/N: My deepest apologies for the update fail. It seems I suffer from TwiFic ADD and took on too many projects which, unfortunately, interfered with my writing. Not to mention I had a bitch of a block to get over. If you're still with me, I thank you for not giving up on this story.

So... what have I been doing?

I've teamed up with my ficwives CellaCullen and LyricaKris and launched a new fansite called Twi-Hard. Please come visit our forums and/or search through our story database. www (dot) twihardfic (dot) com - We're also sponsoring a contest, details of which can be found at the Twi-Hard page here: www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2217466/TwiHardFics

I wrote a collaboration with Cella & Kris under the penname TwiHardVixens called 'Hate's An Aphrodisiac' which was rec'd by the Perv Pack Smut Shack. I encourage you to visit our joint account and read it - it's a lot of fun. www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/5679736/1/Hates_An_Aphrodisiac

All links can be found on my profile page.

I am writing a new story called 'Hale Hath No Fury' (which will be updated today) - check it out. I've also begun posting Teacher's Pet Mini Moments, which can be found in my profile. Some of you may have received these in review replies, but new readers might want to check them out.

Lastly - follow me on Twitter (I'm Dizzygrl28) where you can read my sensless ramblings and receive status updates and teasers for Teacher's Pet, as well as my other stories. I do speak with an x-rated tongue, so consider yourselves forewarned.