IMPORTANT UPDATE:

As you may have noticed I have changed my pen name from Habsrock08 to Spirited Heart. The reason for my doing this was that someone leaked my profile to my school and people whom I did not want to read my work were reading the stories here. So...yeah. It was a safety thing. (Writing is personal for me and I don't want people from my school to read what I write). Also I will not be writing anymore fanfiction for the next couple of months. Sorry.

Hi. I can be sure that you almost certainly don't know me, which, depending on who you are, can be a good or bad thing. If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer,GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY CHERRIOS.

I have another account on fictionpress.com, so if you want to read my non-fanfiction work than go to: http://www.fictionpress.info/u/606751/habsrock08

~ABOUT ME~

First of all, I would just like to state that Space creeps the heck out of me.

Other than that, hi! I’m Habs, and I flat out refuse to tell you my real name because that would be completely and utterly pointless. I’m not too keen on having stalkers. I don’t have a job, I’m 13, I’m a girl, I play my music too loud for which my mom yells at me repeatedly, and I have Luposlipaphobia (The fear of being pursued by timber wolves around a kitchen table while wearing socks on a newly-waxed floor) and Anatidaephobia (the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you). Oh yeah, and I’m kind of random. Potatoes. My taste in music is bordering on insane, I love U2 and Paramore with a few Lil Wayne songs thrown in there for Shits and Giggles, I sometimes listen to music in other languages, and I live in New Jersey which, due to popular belief, just might be the most boring state on this earth. For some strange reason the country of Finland fascinates me, I like sugar cookies (eating one as I type this), I love my friends to DEATH even though they belong in a mental hospital, and obviously I adore writing and reading and do so very often. More random facts about me–I love my history teacher even though she just might be Hitler in disguise, I ….erm… love my mom, my dad, my cats, my cousin Gwen (HI GWEN!), the Kit Bug that lives under my bed and goes “MEH”, the hobbit and llama that have a bomb shelter in my basement, the imaginary squirrel named Juan living in my wall because he squandered his fortune away in a casino, and the tree outside my school’s cafeteria that I have ceremonially christened Adam.

A Phone Conversation With Moi

"Yes, i KNOW that you like PB and J sandwiches...yes, yes, alright...okay, I'll be there in 45 hours...what's that? you're being eaten by a giant man-eating blade of grass? HA! No isn't that ironic, because so am I! hey--OWCH! WATCH THE HAIR! What did you name yours? Oh, that's a nice name...yeah, I named my man-eating blade of grass Elijah Bob Patricus Guggi Q...yeah, I think it's Norwegian. Oh, yes...that's my little man-eating--ELIJAH! BAD GRASS! BAD! BAD BAD BAD! NO NO! STAY AWAY FROM THE U2 CD'S--NO! There goes the Joshua Tree--NO! NOT U218 SINGLES! Alright, it's off to Man Eaters Anonymous for you! AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GOING OUT TO THE YARD, CAUSE YOU ARE SO GROUNDED! Damn. I'm missing half of my arm thanks to that grass. Anyway, so whats going on at your house?"

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."

Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."

If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

Practice making fax and modem noises.

Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.

Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

Staple pages in the middle of the page.

Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.

Honk and wave to strangers.

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.

TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

type only in lowercase.

dont use any punctuation either

Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.

"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"

"What?"

"Never mind, it's gone now."

As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

Ask people what gender they are.

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

Alright, you've read my profile, now read my stories. They are all products of when i take a trip inside my mind, loose the map, and can't get out.