Welcome to my profile. It's 4:15AM, perfect time to be looking at a white screen from a harmfully short distance typing out of my...

This is were (where?) I tell you about myself, what I look like, like, dislike, my favourite ships (Queen Elizabeth II), the length of my...wand, er and other stuff I suppose.

Yeah, I type how I think, which Is like saying I type I talk, but more polite without the overtones of sad and crazy. Really I shouldn't be writing at 4AM in the morning, really I should be able to type while I can think coherently. However life isn't like that for me. You want to know about my life? smirks amusedly

You think I'm actually going to tell you anything? See what you can pick up.

And onwards. I like Harry Potter. No, dear God not the books, more like the ideas behind the books. The books themselves have more plot holes than swiss cheese or to me they seem to. Which I will hope to demonstrate once I get around to writing the stories stuck in my head.

Characters I like: Hermione Granger (a bit too much), Harry Potter (not quite enough), Tonks (not spelling the first name), Sirius Black (me if I was ever happy...which says a lot), Barty Crouch Jnr (wasted potential), Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, Fred + George Weasley grins broadly, Fleur Delacour (from the Hermione/Fleur shippers) grins a bit more broadly, Firenze, Dobby

Characters I hate: Ronald Weasley (Not good enough), Molly Weasley (killed Sirius...don't ask), Minerva McGonagall (Uptight, hypocritical...)

Characters I dislike: Ginny Weasley (cough Mary Suecough), Albus Dumbledore (too many wrong decisions)

Characters I who amuse me (not for good reasons): Dolores Umbridge ( I hope the Centaurs left deep mental scars).

Characters I am disappointed in: Severus Snape, Blaise Zabini.

My opinions on the Books.

PS: Good Kids Fic

COS: Likewise

TPOA: Very good, nearing the peak of JK's writing.

TGOF: The peak of JK's writing.

OOTP: First part 2nd rate Pratchett MOM part pure farce. Luna and the DA only bright spots.

HBP: DIRE...will not be included as a pure story in any fan fics I write (if that ever happens). May not read 7th book. I am one of those people who will stick out a series, so that's how bad I think it is.

Moving on from my towering disgust.

Ships I like: Harry/Hermione (never would have guessed would you? sniggers though I admit I don't think I will write a Harry/Hermione), Harry/Luna (I can see it), Harry/Snape (I can see the possibilities), Hermione/Ginny, Hermione/Fleur (hmmm...femmeslash), Snape/Tonks (oh...yeah comedy gold), Hermione/Twins (but of course either or both ;-)), Hermione werewolf/young lupin (bit specific), Hermione/Sirius (either time), that'll do for now.

Ships I dislike: Hermione/Ron (DUH!) Harry/Ginny (not quite so intensely), Hermione/Draco (too much crap), Draco/Ginny (Hermione/Harry sloppy seconds), Snape/Hermione (EUUURGGH and ARRRGH in one sticky package), Dumbledore/Anyone anytime, Remus/Tonks (I'm beginning to lose faith in canon fics...nothing personal), Fred/Angelina (No.), Ron/Luna (would havev been yes a while ago but sherose up to Hermiones to good for Ron Status when I wasn't looking...grrrr), more soon.

Incidents that have specifically annoyed me in the books: HBP (all of it), Hermione cursed (oh? WTF!), E in DADA owl (ron may have thought hermione dissappointed...nothing on what I thought), JK destroying Hermiones character, lack of rational involving SPEW, Hermiones arguments with Luna, HBP again anything in it, let's not talk about Sirius? 1st thing not to do when losing a close family relative...I speak from personal experience here...This week I have ended 3years of silence on the matter, it's no coincidence I've started to write again, if not yet stories overtones of cold anger here, the monster...no wait 6th book, ginny in the..., Sirius dying.

Things that night happen in the seventh book that will annoy me: Hermione/Ron, Harry/Ginny, I don't do predictions, but if I did, they would be the worse predictions in the world...hopefully.

Things JK does badly: Romance, Charcater development (how have they changed apart from getting bigger and more emotional, Character background (Hermione literally almost dropped into carriage with a background THAT HAS NOT BEEN DEVELOPED parents are dentists, they go on holidays, hell you could drop a entire wealth of family OC's and not be AU), Character description,Magical combat (ludicrous, wands in pockets? only one, not using nonverbal, wandless,Sirius and Bellatrix was the height of farce, Foreign accents, Pratchett (first 500 pages of OOTP), Voldermort (what does he do? All his plans a crap and drawn out surely he can multitask?), endings how about a cliffy in the middle? (5AM and really laying it on now), stops, breathes

Moving on...

Anythings else? I'll get back to least I have some sort of a profile now.:-)

20-06-06

One shot now written, I'm not proud of it. I don't even like it. Next one will be better. Maybe.

I also have a forum called "The forum formerly know as"

If you have read all this and don't read and review my stories I will hunt you down and kill you by cutting your heart out with a spoon.

Yes I'm that desperate.

20-10-06

3 more stories started.

Not Another Albus Giant Squid Parody.

9 Chapters of incoherent ramblings, shitty songs, gay innuendo, chapters completely unrelated to eachother, characters who change bizzarely from one chapter to another, disturbing OC's, poor grammar. This was meant to be a Dramione parody but I got bored, then it was meant to be Harmione parody but then I got bored. Numerous characters have been abandoned along the way. 10 th chapter thus will be a summary of were all the characters are.

Hermione Granger and the Half Baked Plot.

A companion piece to HBP, Hermione centred so it has gone down like a lead balloon.

My piece of XXXX.

Complete trash unrelated to anything at all. But I put it in the Harry/Draco section so if I continue it, in time it will probably receive the most hits. Fanficers! Huh!