-1Disclaimer. I don't own Harry Potter or anyone else mentioned here. Not even me.

Ok, Ok.

I am now going to write a Harry Potter fan fiction. Read along.

No, no. NO! Cut start again.

Here.

Fuck…………..

Er….slow down, sorry singing along to my music.

Anyway, here I am writing a story.

A butterfly tatooo….

Just like I like it girl…

Story.

OK. I'm going to start now. Honest. Any second now.

Firstly, introduction.

Where to begin?

At the beginning!

I think I'll start with Draco Malfoy. He's blonde and sexy, so if I have him as one of my main characters more people might stop reading this after about 400 words.

BTW, I love the autocorrect on Microsoft works word processor.

FUCKING LOVE IT.

Right. Where will our intrepid hero. Sorry, sexy bad boy begin his journey.

The train? Hmmm..

Home?

Gay Bar?

Hehehe.

Ah, well.

So, Draco Malfoy. He's a bit of a twat, really. He is. I really don't understand who is supposed to be a rebel against.

Not his father that's for sure. COUGH incest COUGH.

166 words. Dammit!

Right, story mode. Riiiiiiight.

3-2-1.

GO!

……

Up Up and Away!

Hyah! Hyah!

Soooo hungry………want food. Must get foooood.

……

…..

…..

Boring!

YOU SUCK!

UPDATE YOUR OVER SHITTY STORIES YOU SMALL DICKED TWAT!

FUCK OFF AND DIE!

Hungry….so very very very Hungry.

3 day old pizza crusts! Yummy.

Hey, not soo hungry now.

Draco Malfoy.

I really dislike him, but the actor who plays him is hot. Though I have to memorised his name, height, star sign etc.

Because I am not sad. You sad bastards.

Tom Felton?

Whatever.

I know Emma Watson, cos she's purty and I like Hermione. Not liiiiiiiiike, just like.

Really. Honest.

Fuck off!

sulks

It is Emma Watson right?

Whatever.

Maybe I should start off with someone else.

Or I could add myself.

Sebastian looked around, where was he?

Suddenly a huge acme safe landed on his head squashing the little fucker with an amusing PLUUURT noise.

Muahahaha.

IN YOUR FUCKING FACE FUCKWAD!

Snoopy dances.

I'm a bit mental.

Only a bit.

Not a lot or anything.

My arms hurt.

Licks them better.

My penis hurts…

Anyway…

I'm dieing….

Dear God…Why must you be so nonexistent.

flushes

Owww…………………….

Charlotte Church is welsh.

And sexy

And welsh

And sexy

And welsh

I'm half welsh

And ugly

And Half welsh

And Ugly.

Coughs

Again

387.

FUCK!

Sorry, had to let someone into the flat.

But Jenna beat me.

She's welsh! WOW!

Not saying!

NYER!

It was Will. He's a person.

Honest.

I'm bored. So I'll just write a disclaimer. Then add this FUCKING GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT!

So sorry.

NOT!

Next time. I'll actually write more shit. And noone will ever read this.

Just like my other stories.

I'll just put this in the Harry/Draco sextion cos they're mental.

Ciao.