Woah. Immersion in a foreign mind. Woah. Impressive writing!

Nice! I like the way you move between the chapters with different hunts; the hunt for his target, the hunt for Irikah, the hunt for the reason why she stopped him from killing. It's a theme that runs very nicely throughout your whole piece.

I must admit, I do have a strong fondness for flash-backs, but I dislike the way it happens with the drell in ME, as I find it physically and emotionally jarring, but you managed it quite well and I thought the flashes of memory/feeling complemented the situation Thane found himself in.

I'll get around to having a look at your other story this weekend sometime, as it's a little large for me to tackle on a week night.

Damn.. I got a chill when reading the "Wake Up".

"...an old friends' greeting." *friend's

"Hurry son-of-the-sand!" direct address needs a comma before the name of the person being spoken to.

"...reflecting the sky, staring straight..." i'd change 'staring' to just 'stare' for greater impact.

"He felt worse than naked. He felt targeted." there's a point where 'felt' becomes just as passive as 'was/were'. Let us in closer. So we can live his anxiety with him.

"Forgave him." For emphasis, I'd drop this on its own line with maybe a bold or otherwise accented 'him'. or an ellipses between the two words to really drive home his incredulity that such a thing might be possible for one like he.

Anyway, nit-picking aside, i enjoyed this little adventure inside Thane's head. What I think I like most about it is that you threaded lots of 'alien' ideas in there. concepts that are not human-centric. we really get a look at how drell might think. yet it's not so alien that we cannot empathize or identify with it. noice!

* *In the odd hours he rests, the memory repeats itself in his mind…each time he is shaken by her courage and confidence. By her fury. - this line switches tense.

* *"This one is proud to greet you, how may this one be of service?" - pride is an abomination to the light of the Enkindlers. lol Hanar are humble above all.

* *Such trust, even to haring a Soul Name, - just a little spelling thing.

* * She had also managed to obtain excellent interest rates her employer, which required intelligence and knowledge to accomplish - not sure, but something is missing here.

* * I really enjoyed the flow of the prose, particularly through the opening section. Lovely movement to them. There is some more telling than I like, but in that case it totally didn't pull me out. You wove the moment masterfully, dragging me along to that moment where Irikah sees him.

The flow ebbs a bit in the rest and the telling becomes a little more prevalent, but it was still a very enjoyable read. A very successful experiment, I would say. Good job.

First up, nice one-shot! I haven't read many fics featuring Irikah, and this is the first one I've read that interprets how her meeting with Thane went and I gotta say, I like it!

It's nice how you really got into Thane's head in the beginning as I could hear that drell-flashback thing. I did have a bit trouble with understanding what was really going on with the details since I got easily confused, but that could be just me and especially since I'm a bit tired right now. xD I did get the important points and the main gist of it though, so not all was lost on me.

I like the pace of the story, it's comfortable without being too fast or slow. Though I personally don't quite like the use of the time-skip labels (before, after, two weeks after) as it kind of cheapens an otherwise lovely piece of writing. I suspect you were probably building it up for Thane's line about three weeks, two days, and fifteen hours but it still looked a bit of an awkward format to me. But that's just my personal preference.

Only a few grammatical mistakes popped out at me:

Such trust, even to haring a Soul Name (I think you meant 'sharing' instead of 'haring')

she had foiled three separate takeover attempts in the businesses early days. (I was under the impression Irikah only worked for one company, in which case I believe it should be 'business'' with the apostrophe after the s and nothing after it)

She had also managed to obtain excellent interest rates her employer (from the context, I think you meant to say 'for her employer')

"Three weeks, two days and fifteen hours ago, you threw yourself between yourself and the being I was ordered to remove." (the sentence looks like it would make more sense as 'threw yourself between me and the being I was ordered to remove')

Other than that, it's a great story! Thanks for the read. :)

Cool story, a great take on Thane's meeting with Irikah. I think you did a quite solid job trying to emulate Thane's memory-recall style, certainly not an easy thing to do.

Ellipses . . . this way for pause mid speech and . . .. Like this for a trail off at the end of a sentence. One extra for punctuation.

Lots of was, were's, adverbs and weakening words, some of the scenes could really be punched up and given some real depth, but still, the premise is great and the writing is not to bad.

Some of the flaws can be beta'ed out, but to be honest, it's actually really good. I didn't spot any tense issues, something a lot of people struggle with, so well done there, I envy you.

The speech patterns for Thane is also a positive, something I enjoy, because not many people get right, well done for that, I might have to get you to give me some hints. Nice chapter, I look forward to more.