If you like my stories check out my ideas and prompts at my forum, every challenge is up for grabs.

http://www.fanfiction.ws/myforums/Kuro_Tenka/978869/

Fav. Color: Black/Blood Red

Fav parings:

FruitsBasket;

Tohru/Akito (Sexy, in a bad way)

Tohru/Yuki (It's hard to write one of these!)

Yuki/Akito (I'm such a closet yoai fan)

Inuyasha;

Sesshomaru/Kagome (The only thing I ever seem to read!)

Naraku/Kagome (Again bad, but oh so very good!)

Yu Yu Hakusho;

Touya/Keiko (The most adorable couple ever)

Hiei/Keiko (Hiei is so misunderstood and Keiko can be so sweet but yet has a backbone)

Kurama/Keiko (He is just such a gentle man)

Youko/Keiko (Youko is just so naughty while Keiko just so innocent)

Yomi/Keiko (I read one story and fell in love with Yomi)

Karasu/Keiko (Nobody ever writes this)

Karasu/Kurama (My thought, if Karasu is going to stock him, he might as well fuck him)

Kurama/Yomi (What can I say...it's entertaining)

Hiei/Kurama (This can be so funny...Homicidal Urges is probably my fovorite story for this)

Kurama/Kuroune (They are like oppsites in apperence, and their hot...what's not to like)

Hiei/Touya (On occation)

Naruto;

Sasuke/Hinata (Sasuke is a bad boy and she is soooo cute)

Gaara/Hinata (I'm in love with Gaara and I think he diservers someone as sweet as Hinata)

Shino/Hinata (I love the clan rivalry)

Itachi/Hinata (She is the only female I think Itachi could put up with)

Neji/Hinata (Talk about forbidden)

Sasuke/Gaara (I never can guess who will end up being uke)

Sasuke/Neji (It really depends on the author)

Gaara/Neji (Again depends on the author)

Sasuke/Kabuto (I have a new thing for Kabuto...something about insane and phycotic geniuses)

Orochimaru/Kabuto (If I don't like the way the author rights I hate this, however)

Sasuke/Itachi (My guilty pleasure)

Least fav parings:

Yu Yu Hakusho;

Boton/Hiei (No it just doesn't work. She is far too peppy!)

Boton/Kurama (Sorry but Rose Red and Cotton Candy Blue clash)

Boton/Youko (No just don't even go there)

Genki/Yusuka (Now that just gives me the creeps)

Inuyasha;

Inuyasha/Kagome (To Plain... and I have found somewhere in my heart a special hate for Inuyasha)

Kagura/Naraku (Just wrong)

Inuyasha/Kikyou (They deserve each other but I just don't want them to be happy)

Kikyou/Sesshomaru (NO NO NO!)

Kagura/Sesshomaru (It's just too weard)

Sesshomaru/Rin (father figure! The kid looses both of her parents at such an early age the is no way she would look at him that way. For god sakes he takes care of her, he pats her on the fucking head, like a child.)

Naruto;

Gaara/Sakura (My god Sakura is anoying! She doesn't deserve him)

Sasuke/Sakura (Again undeserving)

Itachi/Sakura (Yeah right! He would kill her the second she opened her big mouth)

Naruto/Hinata (Naruto is the scurge of the earth. I hate him)

Lee/Gaara (I'm not fond of it but I wouldn't openly protest it.)

My Favorite Animes...

Inuyasha

Yu Yu Hakusho

Naruto

FruitsBasket

Prince of Tennis

Vampire Princess Miyu

Loveless

Gravion

Rurouni Kenshin

Gravitation

DN Angel

Vampire Hunter D

Witch Hunter Robin

Gilgamesh

Nightwalker

Sukisho

The funnest thing I think could happen is Kagome getting Inuyasha high off pain killers in the middle of a forest. He would think all the trees were massive squarels that thought him one big nut.

I sugjest that if you like funny read Idiots in a crack house by DeathByMoterBike!

Another story I would advise is Galatea, it's a major sob story that had me crying to the end! Sage of Angst, you are a genius.

If you want a laugh check this out! http:///deviation/48304103/?qo=139&q=deidara&qh=boost3Apopular+age_sigma3A24h+age_scale3A5

Sasuke is in for a long wait, or maybe not... http:///deviation/33637854/?qo=21&q=Kabuto&qh=boost3Apopular+age_sigma3A24h+age_scale3A5

I hate making Sasuke look like a prick but... http:///deviation/33638013/?qo=63&q=Kabuto&qh=boost3Apopular+age_sigma3A24h+age_scale3A5

Ok this section is all funny lines I have read in storys ( plz email me if u have one u would like me to post! )

Readers be where this has foul language and bad content.

She was nice one minute, rude the next, yelling afterward, before suddenly calm and nice again. It was like she was a wheel of emotion. He could just hear it now, 'Step right up, and spin the wheel of emotion. Come, come now! See what emotion you can make Kagome have right now; or... perhaps you can make her go through two at once. Anythings possible inside her head.

(Sesshoumaru) - Breeding School High

His golden eyes stared at her intensily from the shadows, and Kagome swore she could feel those damned little buterflies in her stomach having a party she wasn't invited to.

(Kagome) - The Youkai's Siren

“I almost forgot. I got you something.”

“You got me a present?” A dark eyebrow rose. “Are you going to randomly pull out a cake as well?”

“Nah. You hate cake.” Yuusuke pulled a paper bag out and set it on the table.

“Alcohol?” Hiei asked hopefully.

“You wish. Sorry I didn’t wrap it, but we don’t have any wrapping paper.”

“Cheapskate.” Hiei grinned and reached into the bag. Whatever was in there was cold and metal. He grasped the handle and pulled it out.

“...You got me a tea kettle?” He asked in confusion.

“It’s a lamp!” Yuusuke corrected smugly. “It’s supposed to grant wishes or something. Anyway, it’s made of real silver, so I don’t think that antiques guy knew what he had.”

“Let me guess, rub it and a chick in harem pants pops out and grants me a wish?” Hiei asked as he put it in his bag. Strange or not, it wasn’t everyday he recieved a real present.

“That would be nice. You could ask for a blowjob.”

“I’ll be sure to do that if someone in harem pants happens to be in this teapot.”

“It’s a lamp!”

(Hiei and Yusuke) - Wishful Thinking

After that, Kisame and he stopped at the dumplings shop for lunch where they had a quaint chat about the disadvantages of wearing very noticeable thick black coats with red clouds on them. They took five minutes to touch up their plum nail polish before returning to the cave for yet another meeting about proper Akatsuki behavior (Kisame kept eating Deidara’s birds –“They taste like chicken”, Sasori openly wept every time he saw Pinocchio, Zetsu repeatedly stole The Leaders’s black-with-red-clouds stapler, etc. etc.)

(Itachi) - A Bad/Good/Typical/WTF? Day

“Because seriously, when people who don’t accept it die and judgment time rolls around, God is going to be seriously pissed off and He’s going to say ‘what the fuck, people, I send you a messenger and you shit heads fucking ignore him. You’re all going to Hell.’ And then they’ll be all ‘Oh shit, we should have listened’ but by then it’ll be too late and I’ll be laughing and saying ‘Ha ha, told you so you heathen fuckers! Bye bye!’ and then—” he stopped suddenly, short of breath, face flushed from excitement.

(Hidan) - Coffee Table Talk

‘Nosy bastards, those Niwas. Every last one of them.’

“Shut up.”

(Krad & Satoshi) - Galatea

“Listen carefully, lover-boy,” Hiei snarled, “for I will only say this once. If you’re thinking of saying what I think you’re thinking of saying, then you’d best rethink your thinking before I tear out your vocal cords.”

“I don’t think I could understand that even if I was sober,” Kuwabara muttered.

(Hiei) - A Tale Of Two Demons

“I was inside your closet.” He smiled at me, pointing at the closet’s sliding doors.

“What were you doing inside my closet?!” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Sniffing your clothes?” I looked at him like he had grown another head.

“And why are you sniffing my clothes in my closet?”

“It smells like Frebreeze…” He said slyly.

(Embry) - My Love Coach Jasper Hale

Sasuke's hair often looked like he'd gotten into a fight with a weedwacker and the weedwacker had won.

(Sasuke) - HighSchool Blues

Oh yes, he was the laughing stock of the entire student population. Not only were half the boys making fun of him for supposedly being a cross dresser, but the other half apparently thought that he was now ‘batting for the other team’ and was fair game. He had never been hit on so much in his entire life. What was worse was that while he would have thought that being a ‘cross dresser’ would deter the female students, apparently men in drag was not as much of a turn off as he thought. No, his fan club had increased. Something about a man being in touch with his feminine side…complete and utter bullshit in his opinion.

(Kurama) - Homicidal Urges

Hikaru slipped it into his pocket, glaring in Touya’s general direction. “Ha…if you want your toy back, you’ll have to talk to me, Touya.” As an afterthought, he picked up the coffee cup and drank the remaining liquid, grimacing at the lack of sugar. “That’s just like you! Creamer, but no sugar!! Mislead everyone into thinking that your coffee doesn’t taste bitter and crappy, you bastard!”

(Hikaru) - The Extent of Denial

“What kind of paranoid sick bastard of a brother do you have to stick explosion tags on fucking rocks?” Suigetsu demanded, brushing off his pale arms. “Geez, what a fucked family we must follow.”

(Sasuke and Suigetsu) - The Correction of Uchiha Sasuke

“Glad, we have that settled. I had sex on that chair, too, you know.” Kakashi couldn’t help grin when Sasuke jumped off the chair and wiped at the back of his pants, face red in indignation.

“Is there anywhere you haven’t fucked in this apartment?” the teenager muttered in exasperation. He had the distinct urge to burn his clothing but refused to add ‘pyromaniac’ to his list of mental instabilities.

“Yes. Yes, there is.” Kakashi pointed to the stove.

Sasuke was more than happy to walk over to the stove and sit on it.

“Is it turned on?” Kakashi asked, quite amused.

“No.”

“Are you turned on?”

Sasuke scowled. “No.”

“Do you want to be?”

“No.”

(Kakashi) - Thursday Night

“I’m his fighter, not you. What makes you think you know him so much better than me?” Soubi’s voice hissed from between his clenched jaw. He was trying very hard to not show his anger and frustration.

Natsuo blinked at him. “Because we don’t have our heads stuck up our ass.”

“We’re not so close to the forest we can’t see despite the trees,” Youji added.

(Natsuo & Youji) - How to Lose Your Ears in Ten Days

"Kagome stand back and i'll kill him and you can be my mate." that made Sesshomaru mad. His eyes glowed red and his claws grew longer, his fangs peeked slightly out of his mouth though Kagome, Rin, especially Kagome, Jaken, did I mention Kagome thought he looked hotter, Koga thought of him as a threat.

(Koga) - My Love

“I see. And what are you going to do about this, Zabuza?”

“Leave it in the hands of someone who thought of death by high-heeled shoe. That was pretty impressive.”

“Why, thank you”

(Gaara) - Gaara's Hit list

Was his life already not hellish enough that whatever gods sat above looking down on him thought, “Well—there’s a nice young man who doesn’t seem to be suffering enough! Smite!” Damn…

(Satoshi) - Galatea

All I got to say is know your limits. The stupid kids who die from drug over-dose and shit, they were fuck heads. Sorry but if you eat too much ice cream, your stomach will hurt like a bitch, and going to the bath room might kill your sensory system in your nose. Just what you need; lots and lots of digested dairy coming out your ass. This is much more then not my philosophy. Only I understand it.

(Kagome) - Twisted Pleasures

"Where you from?"

“Forks, Washington,” then she added with hands on her hips, “Don’t you dare ask about Spoons and Knives.”

(Bella & Jasper) - Is This Love

Panting and dazed, Yuuri lay staring up at the ceiling. He had just climaxed in another guy’s mouth. His mind couldn’t quite grasp it. A rustling sound came to him, but he was too satiated to turn his head to investigate. It was only when he felt the cool night air caress his bottom that Yuuri realized Wolfram had removed his pants completely. Startled, Yuuri looked to see that Wolfram had also removed his own clothing.

The sight of that pale, slim body was momentarily distracting and Yuuri stared in fascination until felt something cold and wet touch his backside. The fragrant scent of the massage oil Gisela had made for the Demon King wafted into his nose and Yuuri realized exactly what was trickling between his legs. The realization sobered Yuuri, sweeping away the last vestiges of the contentment his release had brought him.

“Wolfram, let’s talk about thi—Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” Yuuri screamed as Wolfram pushed his hips forward.

“Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!” the dark-haired king beat his fists at the other boy’s shoulders. That freaking hurt!

Wolfram grabbed Yuuri’s flailing arms and pinned them down, before saying, “Calm down, Yuuri.”

“Calm down? Calm down?!” Yuuri said hysterically. “You try being in my place and then tell me to calm down!”

Fat tears rolled down Yuuri’s face. Wolfram kissed them away and said, “Just give it a moment, and it will get better. Wimp.”

Yuuri was outraged to be called that name while they were in such an intimate position. He started to yell at the blonde figure on top of him, when the sound of rushing feet and clanging armor reached his ears. He only had half a second to understand what that sound meant when the door to his bedchamber burst open. Conrad, followed by Gunter, Gwendal and about half a dozen armed soldiers, barreled into the room, swords drawn.

Yuuri could only stare in stupefaction at the other men. A look that was returned in kind as the other men took in the scene before them. Yuuri, on his back and naked except for the torn remains of his shirt. Wolfram, also naked and laying on top of Yuuri, legs tangled and lower body joined with the young king’s.

Closing his eyes, Yuuri counted to ten, sure this was all some horrible dream he would awake from shortly. Just like those ones where you dreamed you went to school naked. He hadn’t gotten past five when a high-pitched yelp and the sound of something solid thumping against the floor reached him.

“Ah, Gunter fainted,” someone said in alarm.

Yuuri opened his eyes to see that this was, in fact, no dream. Gunter was passed out on the floor while several of the soldiers tried to revive him. Gwendal just stared in shock at the duo, while Conrad leaned against the wall and smiled. At that moment, Josak skidded into the room, weapon raised.

“Where’s the dang—oh ho, what’s this,” the orange-headed solider whistled loudly. “Way to go Lord von Bielfeld!”

Conrad cleared his throat and Josak did his best impression of a contrite man, “Ah, I’m sorry, Your Majesty.”

“Get out,” Yuuri’s voice was almost non-existent. The sound seemed to break Wolfram out his own bemusement.

“Everyone out!” Wolfram ordered loudly.

“Now!” he roared when no one moved.

That command seemed to galvanize the other men and they began exiting the room, murmuring among themselves. Josak stopped and hoisted Gunter over his shoulder, the other man now awake and sobbing mightily.

“Your Majestyyyyyyyyy!” Gunter’s cry echoed as he was carried away.

Gwendal followed, stopping at the doorway to say sternly over his shoulder, “I trust we will be planning a royal wedding in the not-to-distant future.”

Conrad just smiled affectionately as he bowed and said, “Your Majesty, Wolfram,” before leaving and softly closing the door behind him.

Wolfram sighed heavily and turned back to Yuuri, only to find the other boy staring fixedly at nothing, pupils dilated and face lax.

“Oi, Yuuri,” Wolfram said sharply, trying to get the other’s attention.

“Yuuri doesn’t live here anymore,” came the monotone reply.

(Yuuri and Wolfram) - The Demon King's Decision

“Uhm… Gaara-san… Why-Why are-aren’t y-you a g-genie?” She quickly ducked her head in shame, scolding herself for such a futile and lame question.

“Well, partly because Disney commercialized us, genies, with producing Aladdin, which made the whole world think we’re all blue guys on a fucking flying carpet with enormous yellow pants and a black ponytail. It’s a union thing, hontou.” Gaara played with a grain of sand between his index fingers, eying it with small interest, before staring back at the bluenette.

(Gaara) - Genin In A Gourd

Shishido set the phone down on the counter and went back to measuring out more flour.

It rang again about two minutes later.

Atobe sighed. “Fine, fine, I’ll talk to him. Hold it up for me.”

Shishido gave an aggravated sigh and grabbed the phone again, absently checking the caller ID. “Actually, it says it’s Sanada this time,” he said, arching an eyebrow. “And he has a smiley face next to his name.”

Atobe’s eyes went wide. “What?” he asked, giving Shishido a startled glance. “Sanada?”

“Why does he have a smiley face?”

“Shit,” Atobe muttered under his breath, looking down at his hands. He dove for the sink. “Answer it, would you?”

“Do I get a smiley face?”

“No!” Atobe snapped, frantically rubbing his hands under the water.

Shishido pouted, more than a little exaggeratedly. “Why not?”

“Because you have a star, now would you answer the damn phone?!” Atobe looked around for a towel. Ohtori handed him one with an amused grin.

“Stars are cool, I guess,” Shishido said, and flipped the phone open. “Hello, you’ve reached Atobe Keigo’s personal sex slave hotline. Keigo can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number, we’ll be sure to have a sex slave contact you as soon as one becomes availab--”

(Atobe) - Escape From Ennui

Stupid ass fucks should mind their own fucking business, you ass jacking mother sucking, penis bitting ass fucking, bloody cunt suckers. Oh, ya, bitches, I could go on. Fuck heads. Just keep talking about me like that. You'll get a fucking fist down your nose and out your eyes.

(Inuyasha) - Twisted Pleasures

Beep “Hello, you’ve reached the Yamatoya residence, you lucky person! I’m out performing demonic rituals, but leave a message and I’ll call you back. And if you leave a sexy message, I’ll call back soo-Ow! Hiei! Give me the phone! I’m setting the message you little-!” Beep Kurama sweatdropped when he heard Shio’s message.

(Shio) - Homicidal Urges

Sesshomaru woke up breathing heavily. Oh God save them all. That student of his was surly a temptress from hell!

(Sesshoumaru) - After Class

“What?” Eragon asked. “Have you been snorting magic markers again? I keep telling you, they aren’t actually magical.”

(Eragon & Saphira) - Come Undone

'Oh shit. Why don't you just rip off my endowment! I would call you merciful! Dammit! Tell me what I did, please. I can't promise never to screw another woman as long as I live but I can promise not to do it as often. Just please tell me.

(Sesshoumaru) - Demonic Seduction

“Midget.”

“Girl.”

“Loser.”

“Wimp.”

“Hobbit.”

“Transvestite.”

“Man-whore.”

“Slut.”

“Goth.”

“Cheerleader.”

“Weirdo.”

“Cock-sucker.”

“Dickless.”

“Goose.”

“What?” Kurama was startled out of his next clever insult by Hiei’s.

“I win.” Hiei smirked and folded his arms over his chest.

(Hiei & Kurama) - Homicidal Urges

“I wonder how Inuyasha would feel not receiving his noodles,” the character spoke to himself in a humored voice, “I wonder how he would feel about his woman being kidnapped and not receiving his noodles all at once.” The character laughed quietly to himself, and receded into the shadows.

(Naraku) - Come My Way

“Shut up!” Sasuke stood up and forcefully pulled Naruto with him, “You’re going to get raped one of these days,” he muttered to Itachi, referring to his brother’s habit of giving his number to people online.

“Not so little brother,” replied Itachi, even after Sasuke and Naruto began disappearing up the stairs, “It is I who will do the raping!”

(Sasuke & Itachi) - Ivory Eyes

Which was why he was currently sitting on the railing of the balcony outside the apartment of the Hikari host on an early spring night. He’d been fitted with a radio collar of sorts, apparently with his master’s host thinking that through it With might be able to relay information regarding the boy he’d been sent to observe.

His master’s host, at times, was not the brightest crayon in the box.

“Ne, With! Is he asleep yet?” came Daisuke’s nervous voice over the radio waves. “It’s ten o’clock already—he should at least be settling down by now. What do you see?”

Heaving a mental sigh, the sprite offered the best answer he could:

“Kyuu!”

“… ‘Kyuu’? With, what’re y—shut up, Dark! Yes, I know he can’t speak, thank you very much. But all he has to do is—hey, With! Just change into me or Dark! Then tell me—” There was a pause, silence settling over the airwaves. “What do you mean ‘creepy boy might see him and molest him’? Dammit, Dark! Help me out here!”

With sighed again, as best a fluffy rabbit-sized lesser demon could.

(With) - Galatea

Due to recent cutbacks, and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

"I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off."

Life is like a box of chocolates! Well I want to buy another one because the one I have right now SUCKS!

Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

(Yugi) - From A Hikari (This story is really sad actually but this line jsut struck me as funny.)

“It seemed like only yesterday I was fussing at her, telling her she needed to become a strong young lady to rule our clan…and now, she’s going to be married to some sand ninja with a giant peanut on his back.” Hiashi cried.

“It’s a sand gourd.” Gaara said slightly offended.

(Hiashi Hyuuga) - Accidents Happen

“I’M DONE!!” Neji shouted.

We looked up at him, and by his appearance, he wasn’t tired at all.

“Hey Neji,” I said, getting an idea. “If you run 50 laps I’ll give you a kiss.”

Neji’s eyes widened. “Really?” he asked. “Make it two!”

“Fine.”

The brunette smirked. “Well then, pucker up! I’ll be back in a minute!”

And with that he was back out the door. I saw him dash by the window. Maybe I should have made it 100 laps….

“Gaara, I don’t think you’ll be able to control him by withholding sex.”

I folded my arms and leaned back. “True, it’s not like he asks permission before molesting me in public anyways…”

Sasuke chuckled. “Yeah, he’s always been like that.”

We fell silent for a minute until we saw Neji run by the window again.

“He’s like the energizer bunny…” I muttered. “He goes on and on and on…”

(Gaara) - Natural Attraction

“H-Hiei?” What the hell is he doing here?

“Hn. As to your earlier question, your brother sent me here. He said you had something to tell me.”

Kagome blinked, and then horror overtook her features. Oh no! Shuiichi talked to him! Damn him! Damn him to the seven levels of hell!

“I already tried. It didn’t work.”

(Kagome) - I Think I Love You

‘Dai, you wouldn’t know subtlety if it pranced around nude under a full moon then smacked you over the head with a two-by-four.’ Grinning slyly from inside the boy’s mind, he added as an afterthought. ‘Don’t think about it too much… Heads can be used for so much more enjoyable activities.’

(Dark) - Galatea

“ Congratulations, rub it in, asshole,” the redhead muttered, “ you’re the proud owner of your very own Genin, because genies are copyrighted by Walt Disney and his fucking mouse and duck. His name is Gaara from the desert, bla bla bla. “ He inhaled another load of fresh air before continuing, she simply looked at the ground, twisting the white feather-like pen in her fingers.

“My past isn’t that important, so I’ll go straight to the wish-limit. We don’t work with quantity but with quality, my ass, anyhow you will possess this rare, one of a kind Genin for a five whole months. Hooray for me.” Hinata noted how Gaara loathed his existence, but remained silent.

“First rule, I can’t make anyone fall in love with you.” A small lump fell into her stomach, she felt a tear burning in her pale lavender eye but ignored it and shook her head.

“Second rule, thanks to Napoleon, we can’t grant you world domination or pixie sticks, Kami knows what Einstein did with those.” He swallowed some saliva and continued his lecture.

“Third one, I can kill some people for you, but without torture or an iron anvil, Tom and Jerry copyrighted that trick. Stupid entertainment companies.” Gaara muttered, while running his free hand through his unruly red hair.

(Gaara) - Genin In A Gourd

“Come on Shu-chan! You gotta be more happy, na no da!” Ryuichi said cutting into the conversation waving the pink stuffed bunny around.

“This may sound weird but Ryuichi’s right Shuichi.” Yuki said looking at me through the rear-view mirror,” You don’t have to act sad if you aren’t and if you are… try to be a little more up beat. I know that the death of someone is a terrible thing but in the end you’ve got to think about the good times you had with that person and the good times you’ll have in the time to came.”

“Did that really come from you Yuki!” all three man screamed.

“What? Can’t I be sympatric!” Yuki said as he pulled into the procession line of cars.

“No.” all three men said with a straight face.

Yuki’s eyes started to twitch as he opened the car door and stepped out to meet Tatsuha and his father. Seguchi-san, Sakuma-san and I quickly followed suite.

(Shuichi) - Cherry Blossoms In Winter

“Ah! Oh! Oh my god, Kikumaru-senpai! Stop!” whimpered Momoshiro as he tried to grab Eiji’s hands.

“Relax, Momo, I know what I’m doing,” murmured Kikumaru.

“Wait, Eiji! You’re doing it too roughly—you’re gonna get it everywhere!!” yelled Oishii who was standing next to Momoshiro.

“Oh no, now you got it all over Kaidoh’s face,” said Kawamura.

“Tastes funny.”

“Ehh don’t say that Kaidoh,” pouted Eiji as he slowly sucked the dripping goop off his own fingers.

Momoshiro covered his face with his hands and moaned loudly. His breath came out slightly faster than was normal. “Ne, Kikumaru-senpai, is it supposed to be this white color?”

“Errmm…”

“Here, try it my way,” smiled Fuji as he leaned in close to Eiji.

“NNOOOOOO!!” yelled Momoshiro and Eiji in unison as Fuji sprinkled some chili peppers into the cake batter that the team was currently trying to make.

(Sagaku Tennis Team) - MmmCake

Kagome,

Had to leave. Mission; I really don’t want to go to jail again. (Tried to take over the world and got caught: currently on parole). Should be back in a week.

Sorry,

Hiei

(Kagome) - I Think I Love You

Obviously, Uchiha Sasuke had never been told he should ask before giving girls kisses that had their minds reeling and senses curling up and crooning.

(Hinata) - 30 Kisses, or Fanning the Flames

“Well, I know the one thing that will wake Sasuke up,” Shikamaru said, looking slightly afraid. He did the necessary hand gestures, and shouted, “Henge.” There was a puff of smoke and Ino-chan stood in front of her. But it wasn’t Ino-chan, as Hinata knew her today. It was 12-year-old Ino-chan. “Turn into Sakura-chan.”

Hinata nodded and started the hand signals. She followed Shikamaru’s lead and changed into the Sakura she knew three years ago. Long hair and all.

Shikamaru got on one side of Sasuke and Hinata got onto the other side. Holding up three fingers, Shikamaru counted backwards silently. “Three, two, one…SASUKE-KUN!” They shouted in unison, before launching themselves at the boy.

The last thing that Hinata saw before she blacked out was the panicked look in Sasuke’s eyes as they snapped open, Sharingan flashing.

(Hinata) - Holding Hands

Tenten turned to them. "Fine. I'll tell you the story of what will happen if Hinata and Gaara are to marry. It'll be tragic."

Temari rolled her eyes. "Just tell the damn story."

Tenten nodded. "It'll all start with Gaara and Hinata..."

"Gaara was horny as you-know-what and was slapping Hinata around and throwing her everywhere yelling 'GET YOUR ASS ON THE BED! I WANNA BE INSIDE YOU NOW!' (Hinata gasped) Then Neji bust in mad as hell at Gaara-they start scrappin'. Gaara used Sand Coffin on Neji and Neji hit his heart. They both sat there dying when Temari and Kankuro show up. Temari screams and tries to beat the rest of the life outta Neji-but Kankuro stops her. Just then Sakura comes in and sees what happened, she trys to heal everybody, when Ino comes in and thinks that Sakura did this and cuts her neck. (Tem, Ino, and Hina gasp in horror) Naruto came and got mad and went Kyuubi on Ino. Just then Shikamaru and Chouji come to help Ino, and Chouji sits on Naruto, that's the end of him. Then Sasuke comes, mad as hell because they killed his best friend and goes curse mark on them. Then Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji combine and turn into the InoShikaCho demon, which is a deer with a pig nose and butterfly wings (Ino says "What?" Tem says "What the fuck!? InoShika-what?" Hinata is just speechless) The InoShikaCho demon picked Sasuke up and dropped him to his death. Lee comes in and gets angry at the InoShikaCho demon and challenges it, it accepts, and Lee goes Hidden Lotus on the InoShikaCho demon, somehow it survives and makes a huge gust of wind making Kankuro, Temari and Lee fly into the air and they too fell to their deaths (Tem is just completely speechless. Ino is looking at Tenten like she's retarded. And Hinata has her hand over her mouth.) Then Kiba comes in and screams, then sicks Akamaru on the InoShikaCho demon, which stepped on him, instantly killing the poor dog. (Hinata gasps in horror. Ino says 'That's just wrong'. Temari just shakes her head.) Then the InoShikaCho demon picked Kiba up and broke his back instantly killing him. Shino stood at the door and attempted to run away but the InoShikaCho demon bites him in the neck and he bleed to death. Kurenai came and screamed in horror. The InoShikaCho demon tackled her with it's sharp pointy horns, killing her then tossing her into the air and she fell onto Lee's dead body. (Tem continues to shake her head, Ino looks disgusted, and Hinata is about to faint) Just then, the Akatsuki bust in! They all acknowledge the InoShikaCho demons strength but it doesn't care, instead, it slaps Itachi against the wall with incredible force, killing him instantly and breaking his neck in the process. Kisame charges at the InoShikaCho demon only to be headbutted by it. His brain showing threw his skin. (Temari and Ino say "Damn! What the hell?" And Hinata is speechless again) Deidara shouts about how art is such a bang and the InoShikaCho demon charged at him and tossed him into the air. Deidara died with 'Un'. Sasori was crushed between the InoShikaCho demons wings and then thrown onto Deidara. Hidan ran out and got away. Tobi ran out and got away. Kakuzu ran and tripped, then was stepped on by the InoShikaCho demon. Zetsu came, saw what happened and then walked out. (Temari says "Damn, it din' killed the Akatsuki, well I'll got damn." Ino rolls her eyes at the stupidity and Hinata gives a huge sigh.) Then Kakashi, Gai, and Anko show up. The InoShikaCho demon charged at Kakashi, smashing him and Gai into the wall breaking their spinal cords. Then it throws Anko in the air and makes her break her back by landing on it's horns. Then the InoShikaCho demon exploded killing Ino, Chouji, and Shikamaru in the process, turns out it was a forbidden justsu! (Tem lets out a groan. Ino and Hinata say "What?") It was then that Shizune and Tsunade showed up and brought everybody back to life. And at the same time Naruto went Kyuubi, Gaara got Shukaku back and they start killing everybody. Naruto was biting everyone's necks-"

"Tenten." Temari says calmly. She had heard enough.

"Gaara was humping Hinata like crazy-"

"Tenten!"

"Blood and guts was flying everywhere and! And-"

"TENTEN!" Temari shouted at the top of her lungs.

"What?" Tenten said, finally coming out of her story.

"That's all some bullshit." Temari says rubbing her temples. Tenten had some serious problems.

(Tenten) - Accidents Happen

“A-ano, o-otou-sama, I’d w-wish you-you like-liked h-him an-and you’d l-let Gaara s-stay.” Gaara’s eyes widened, a sudden jolt ran through his body.

The redhead placed his hands together, like the beginning of a prayer, he bowed down, which was hard with the gourd, but he managed. A ping sound was heard in the distance and Hiashi’s hard features softened, a maniacal smile curling up his lips.

“Of course, Hinata-chan! Your friend can stay here for the rest of his life, if he wants.” The atmosphere went from subzero to just uberly strange, Gaara straightened his bloody red shirt and coughed awkwardly, sending his mistress an apologetic ghost of a smile.

Hiashi then crushed them both in a bear hug, still smiling insanely, like he was high or something. Hinata and Gaara were pressed together like a turkey sandwich, somehow Hiashi could also embrace the Genin’s gourd, the bluenette then nearly fainted from the close contact to the green-eyed male. Two pair of white eyes stared into each other and the Hyuuga patriarch cracked another grin, showing off his pearly white teeth, he then flashed his approval in the form of a thumb and started talking, more like rambling, again.

“Hinata-chan, you’re friend can sleep next to your bedroom! So you can have little slumber parties and paint each other’s nails, change your make-up, dress each other up and… Ooh, you can ask Gaara-san which eyeliner he uses!” The redheaded Genin twitched vigorously and Hinata now more then ever resembled a tomato, her index fingers continuously pressed together.

“Uhm… O-Otou-sama?” The long raven haired male stared at his oldest daughter with a crazy smile on his features, he was really, but really, freaking them out.

“G-Gaara-san is-is a-a b-boy…” The bluenette then watched her father’s mouth turn into an “o” shape and cough awkwardly, Gaara’s right glassy green eye was still twitching uncontrollably.

"I knew that..."

(Hiashi) - Genin In A Gourd

“You are shitting me?” Kagura asked

He looked her in the eye and said, “I shit you not.”

(Sesshoumaru) - Dream Keeper

“Gaara?” He asked after a moment’s thought.

“What?”

“Could you do me a favor?”

“No.”

“I’ll pay you five dollars.”

“…Anywhere specific you want me to dump the body?”

(Gaara) - Homicidal Urges

“Looks like Zaku was trying to use a fork to open the coke machine and the fork got stuck and the machine went haywire and shot the fork into his throat and then Kin got pummeled with cokes flying out at like 90 miles per hour!”

(Gaara) - Gaara's Hit list

“How did you get the tickets?”

“Elves outside my window saw my despair and granted me two tickets to happiness. I thought I’ll share one with you seeing as you need it” Tatsuha rolled his eyes. “Ryu just brought them right now and said they’ll be waiting for us at the front desk.”

(Tatsuha) - Let's Be Together

So I have found a way to update. Yeah! Go me! Problem is I have so many storys that it tends to take a while to update. I also will tell you that I require a certain ammount of reviews for each story in order for me to update. I need so many reviews as fallows...

(Per update)

Succubus - 10 (It's fixed but I'm lazy on this one, sorry!)

Picture http:///images/items/Succubus_Card.jpg

To Be To Come - 10 (On Hold)

Picture http:///images/wicca_summerland_sm.jpg

Lady Penta - 5 (On Hold)

Picture http:///images/Pentagram_Pendant.jpg

Who Said All Endings Are Happy - 3 (Depends on when me and my friend can get together to write it.)

Picture http:///cart/images/T6011R.jpg

Elven Gate - 5 (On Hold)

Picture http:///images/screenshots/obx13B.jpg

Behind Frosted Eyes - 2 only because no one reads this paring (On Hold)

Picture http:///photos/uncategorized/ice.jpg

Red To Black Berry - 10 (On a whim)

Picture http:///ProductImages/kennethj_merch/strawberry_large.jpg

Well looks like I'm changing That Night into more than a one shot however give me some time I'm in the middle of a lot of this.

If I have this many reviews expect an update soon.

A/N: Get ready for a long and stupid story people...