meaninglessmonotonyhide bio
 Author has written 19 stories for Mass Effect, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Supernatural. Hey, I'm new here and just want to read and write about and for some of my favorite fandoms. So far, I've mainly written for Mass Effect, but I'll be branching out soon. I really want to improve my writing skills--especially characterization and dealing with action sequences. Any feedback is appreciated--please review my stories to help me get better. I'm not sure that there's anything else to say. :) Live long and prosper? This is Sparta? The game? Whatever. P.S. I just started school again so updates will be far less frequent for a while. | |||||||
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
Resurrection by skywalker05 reviews
ME2 AU. After the Normandy's destruction, both Shepard and Joker fall to Alchera's surface. When Miranda rebuilds him to be dependent on a drug that cures his disease, Shepard has to choose between her morals and her pilot. Shoker.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 39,473 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 2/18/2013 - Published: 3/5/2010 - Joker, J. Garson
A Star to Steer Her By by ShadesOfMauve reviews
Shepard isn't quite the stable commander Joker remembers, and he's surprised to be the one helping her pick up the pieces. Follows the events of ME2, focusing on non-game scenes. NEW chapter: Epilogue.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 41 - Words: 192,625 - Reviews: 444 - Favs: 691 - Follows: 465 - Updated: 1/4/2013 - Published: 4/6/2011 - Joker, J. Garson - Complete
Mass of Drabbles by ShadesOfMauve reviews
This is a dumping ground for random Mass Effect drabbles. Mostly secondary characters, with special love for our favorite tattooed, swearing merc. NOT Star to Steer Her By universe. If you're looking for serious reading, look elsewhere!
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 4,656 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 12/29/2012 - Published: 6/13/2011 - Zaeed M., Dr. Chakwas
This Calls For A Drink by Anja Kidd reviews
It was common knowledge that Commander John Shepard, N7 marine, first human Spectre, proud fiend of slavers, grudging savior of the galaxy, professional armed lunatic and notorious bamf, would do almost anything for a decent drink. Rated M for Manly. Chapter 7: Special Tactic Minsc.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 53,859 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 8/10/2012 - Published: 7/24/2011 - Shepard
Color to Simplicity by Aniphine reviews
A collection of one-shots about Chell and Wheatley. Chapter 1: Chell contemplates her past decisions and the future, after a nearly deadly fall. Chapter 2: Both feeling guilt, Chell and Wheatley voice their feelings into the night. Chapter 3: Chell deals with the emotional repercussions of leaving Aperture. Chelly
Portal - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,217 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/23/2012 - Published: 1/30/2012 - Chell, Wheatley - Complete
StarStuff by ShadesOfMauve reviews
Deleted scenes from my ongoing slowmance 'A Star to Steer Her By.' Possibly amusing as drabbles/short-fic on their own, and certainly of interest to rabid fans of aStShB - all three of you.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,795 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 4/4/2012 - Published: 1/16/2012 - J. Garson, Joker
Mass Reactions by Subject 0 reviews
A fun series of one-shots with the Normandy crew and their feedback on the billion and one things in the galaxy.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 11,525 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 2/21/2012 - Published: 9/29/2011
Mock Effect 2 by ClintJohnston25 reviews
Sequel to Mr. Buch's masterful mockery of the first game. The twins Jane & John Shepard are exploring the galaxy, loosely following the game "Mass Effect 2"'s script. Along the way they poke fun at the various plot holes/inconsistencies they encounter.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 22 - Words: 93,476 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 2/20/2012 - Published: 11/25/2011 - J. Garson, Shepard
Tiger By My Side by Introjection reviews
Commander Shepard isn't one to be confused. However, after the events on the remote colony of Horizon, she has no choice but to accept the things she does not want to face, and have the courage to start life anew. Pairing: F!Shep x Joker [2020 UPDATE: BEING ENTIRELY REWRITTEN, FURTHER UPDATES TBA, SEE PROFILE]
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 68,583 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 266 - Follows: 273 - Updated: 1/11/2012 - Published: 11/13/2010 - Joker, Shepard
The Adventures of Galadriel, An Incompetent Elf by Inuchron reviews
Like any Dragonborn, Galadriel enjoys fighting, looting and stealing things. Pity she's an idiot. The mostly true adventures of a complete and utter noob.
Elder Scroll series - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,071 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/22/2011 - Published: 11/15/2011
In My Place by Rose Tinted Contact Lenses reviews
Three-parter. As the Omega 4 Relay draws closer, secrets are revealed and decisions must be made. Things on the Normandy may never be the same again.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,518 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 10/14/2011 - Published: 10/7/2011 - Tali'Zorah, Shepard - Complete
Reluctant by Regelrytteren reviews
He rarely leaves his chair on the bridge, and then only at times where most of the crew are asleep. He is the best damn helmsman in the fleet, and he does not need them. He just needs to be alone.
Mass Effect - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,285 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 10/13/2011 - Published: 9/13/2011 - Joker, J. Garson - Complete
Vas Normandy by Rose Tinted Contact Lenses reviews
Two-parter. After the loss of her father, Tali tries to adjust to a new name and the whole crew tiptoeing around her - even Shepard, it seems. This must be pity, this attention. Surely?
Mass Effect - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,100 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 10/3/2011 - Published: 9/30/2011 - Tali'Zorah, Shepard - Complete
From The Flames by Rose Tinted Contact Lenses reviews
On and off the field, Shepard is two different women. He cares for them both, in different ways.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 906 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/1/2011 - Joker, J. Garson - Complete
Once More, With Feeling by Rose Tinted Contact Lenses reviews
Tali's back on board, and Shepard is wondering how to say what he's been thinking for two years...
Mass Effect - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,236 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/2/2011 - Tali'Zorah, Shepard - Complete
Destiny Stolen by Regelrytteren reviews
It wasn't supposed to end like this.
Mass Effect - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 506 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/24/2011 - Joker, J. Garson - Complete
Loved And Lost by Rose Tinted Contact Lenses reviews
Shepard faces his death - his last thoughts on the quarian he loves.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 750 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/11/2011 - Shepard, Tali'Zorah - Complete
Drastic Measures by KiwiDayDreams reviews
Shepard decides to use her newly acquired little black dress to finally get Joker's attention. When the pilot doesn't even mention her unusual attire she's shocked, but doesn't plan on losing this battle so easily. Kink meme request.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,647 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 8/9/2011 - Published: 4/23/2011 - J. Garson, Joker
Her Words by Rose Tinted Contact Lenses reviews
Shoker. How did she end up falling for her pilot? What the hell is she going to do about it, and how did she end up accidentally telling him she loved him? Shepard considers...
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,259 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/22/2011 - J. Garson, Joker - Complete
Coffee by Rose Tinted Contact Lenses reviews
Shoker. In a late-night conversation aboard the Normandy, some truths come to light...
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 997 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/20/2011 - J. Garson, Joker - Complete
Bow Chicka Bow Bow by Does You No Good reviews
Shepard. Joker. Porn lines. Oh my.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 615 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/10/2011 - Joker, J. Garson - Complete
Proper Protocol for the Destruction of by words without reviews
FemShep/Joker. Four futures that never were.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,526 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Published: 5/29/2011 - J. Garson, Joker - Complete
Chariot of Fire by E.J. Lesthen reviews
Who is he, really? A cowardly scoundrel or a ruthless assassin? The Exile will realize that when it comes to Atton "Jaq" Rand, nothing is as it seems. KOTOR II spoilers, LSF Exile/Atton. M for graphic violence/torture and implied non-con.
Star Wars - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,162 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/20/2010 - Atton R., Exile/Meetra Surik - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
United Unrequited reviews
The title really says it all. This will be a collection of one-shots devoted to the LIs that could have been but, sadly, never were. It'll predominantly feature Femshep with Joker or Vega, but I'm open to suggestions. Please don't flame-intelligent and constructive criticisms are welcome. T for sexual themes and occasional violence. Updates infrequently, but they will happen.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,306 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/31/2013 - J. Garson
Something Wicked reviews
Shepard was the first to rally the races of this cycle against the Reaper threat, but the Commander was not the first to know of it. This is the story of those who were, of the Shadow Broker's team of special operatives lead by a very unique asari. M for violence, adult themes, and minor swearing (eventually). Collaboration between meaninglessmonotony and Just a Crazy-Man.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 423 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/26/2012 - Shadow Broker
A Shattered Mind reviews
Begins during Jack's recruitment mission and will span beyond ME2. Shepard unwittingly releases a madman who becomes obsessed with her. Alternating viewpoints, eventual Femshep/Joker. T for language, violence, and suggestion. EDIT: chapter 29 and 30 are up, after a long hiatus!
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 30 - Words: 59,002 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 11/11/2012 - Published: 7/14/2011 - J. Garson
In the Interim reviews
A series of segments detailing Joker's life and experience between Shepard's death and her revival at the hands of Cerberus. T for language. Please review with suggestions for further entries and general improvement. Implied Shoker. Will feature several familiar people. UPDATE! Final chapter!
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 17 - Words: 34,454 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 8/14/2012 - Published: 6/21/2011 - Joker - Complete
An Exercise Without Restraint
Drabbles in the Supernatural universe. Rating and subject will, naturally, vary, so it's T for now. Most or all will involve Crowley.
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,532 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/12/2012 - Published: 3/3/2012
China Doll reviews
EDI's perspective on her new life. Minor spoiler concerning what is done to EDI's character in ME3-no story spoilers! No pairings. T for thematic elements.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,472 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/3/2012 - EDI - Complete
Communication Difficulty reviews
Have you ever wondered how all the different species and nationalities in the ME-verse are able to understand each other? Shepard discovers that there is one language everyone understands-pain. Attempted humor plus many references.
Mass Effect - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,438 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/18/2012 - J. Garson - Complete
Metamorphosis reviews
Follows Subject Zero's induction into Shepard's crew and documents her changes. Please Review! T for language. Femshep.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,754 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/26/2011 - Published: 7/24/2011 - Jack
Never Meant to Be reviews
In the time after the victory over the Reapers, Joker tries to stay a part of Shepard's life. Warning-this isn't a happy story. T for language. Femshep, one-sided Shoker, read for more details!
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,801 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/31/2011 - Published: 8/21/2011
Shepard's Motley Crew reviews
I've been playing too much ME2 & watching too much Animaniacs. We all love ME2 and all your squad buddies so...here's a strange and random theme-song for the Mass Effect 2 squaddies and select crew to the tune of the Animaniacs theme!...Don't hate me.
Mass Effect - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 310 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/30/2011 - Complete
The Ballad of the Midnight Snack reviews
Mikey sneaks out to get the last piece of leftover pizza but he isn't the only one who wants it. Mock ballad.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 444 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/19/2011 - Complete
Solipsism and Forgetting reviews
Thane's solipsism has become more of a curse than a blessing. When Shepard tries to help him, will she get sucked in? Bad summary. Femshep, Thane, Chakwas, Samara, EDI, Joker, more to come. Teen for language and eventual graphic violence.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,666 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/18/2011 - Published: 7/7/2011 - J. Garson
Breaking Points, Billy, and Birthdays reviews
Shepard has a lot of problems and a bad day gets worse when the one she turns to for help just pisses her off. BAD SUMMARY-will change. Femshep, Chakwas, Joker, EDI, Kelly. T for language and suggestion.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,035 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/11/2011 - J. Garson - Complete
Of Cameras and Qualitative Research reviews
Joker is not minding his own business, as usual, until Legion confronts him with an awkward question. EDI's manipulations lead to further awkwardness. Femshep, EDI, Joker, Legion
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,427 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/20/2011 - J. Garson - Complete
I Know This Hurts You reviews
Contains Femshep, Jack, Garrus, EDI, Joker, Harbinger, Mordin. What if the effects of indoctrination could be focused as a weapon? Angsty. T for language and brief violence.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,228 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/15/2011 - J. Garson - Complete
Shepard's Loyalty Mission reviews
Contains Femshep, EDI, Joker, Kelly, Jack. Shepard's last mission has left her physically and mentally fatigued and the night just seems to be getting worse until she makes the most of an awkward situation and settles a personal issue. T for Jack's vocab.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,401 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/14/2011 - J. Garson - Complete
Paying Respects reviews
Shepard is dead. Joker visits her memorial on Akuze and comes to terms with his feelings over her death and his part in it. Femshep Rated T for mild foul language. Please comment.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,234 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Published: 6/9/2011 - Joker - Complete
Unspoken reviews
Joker thinks about his relationship with his commander and why it hasn't gone further. Sort of one-sided Femshep/Joker Rated T for mild suggestiveness...
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 369 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 6/9/2011 - Joker, J. Garson - Complete
Shore Leave reviews
My first submission- Femshep. Sovereign has been defeated and the Normandy crew is in need of r&r. Contains ME spoilers and ME2 references. Femshep/Joker, Ashley, Tali, Liara, Pressly, and a few minor OCs. Please comment!
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 15,309 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 14 - Published: 6/9/2011 - J. Garson, Joker - Complete
