Hey everyone, Science-Fantasy93 here! For those of you who are profile-hoppers, want to check out my stories, or just want to know a little more about me, you have come to the right place.

Any questions you have for me, you can go ahead and PM me, or tweet me: My Twitter; or hit me up on Tumblr, which I almost never use: My Tumblr.

I also have an Archive of Our Own account: My AO3

I also write and post fics with Jatieluv, who is the queen of adorable Jatie. Our joint account is JatieFantasy if you guys are interested :) We now have a Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/jatiefantasy

Main things you need to know about me...I'm 5'1 on a good day. My attention span is that of a confused kitten's. I'm addicted to writing and go crazy when I can't. Reading is almost as good. If I can't listen to music, YOU WILL HEAR ABOUT IT. You ask me a question about something I'm really into, I hope you have a few days free because I won't shut up. Airhead moments strike me whenever they please. If you PM me and don't hear back from me right away, it's not because I'm ignoring you, it's because I'm terrible at replying but I usually do get back to people. It might just take me a few weeks if the PM isn't urgent.

Music makes it's way into my stories no matter what I do, so you read any of my stuff, be prepared for the onslaught of song lyrics, song titles, band names, and lyric references. Chances are, there'll also be about two million Harry Potter references because I'm *slightly* obsessed with the series.

I have a deep love of emoticons: :) =) =D :D and stuff like that, so if you ever review one of my stories, or PM me, chances are, the reply will be laden with them. ;)

I have a few different pairings that I like for the different fanfics I read:

Harry Potter:

Hermione/Draco

Hermione/George

Hermione/Fred

Hermione/Ron

Harry/Ginny

Big Time Rush:

Any of the ones with friendship between the boys, and if the story is very well written with a fantastic plot, then a little bit of slash. :)

Logan/Camille: Together, they're insane, and so funny together!

Kendall/Jo: They're both so down to earth and so caring, and they're so sweet together!

James/Katie: I love, love, LOVE them! I would never pair them together in the actual showverse because of the obvious age difference, but in the stories, they work so well together.

Slash pairings: Kames and Jagan because for whatever reason, I can't say no to them.

Castle: Castle/Beckett all the way.

Percy Jackson: Dude. Percy/Annabeth. They had so much chemistry from the very first book, and they're just plain awesome together.

(1) Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, iPod, MP3 Player, etc. on shuffle

(2) For each question, press the next button to get your answer

(3) Put the name of the song down no matter how ridiculous it sounds

One Day:

(1) Someone says "are you okay?" You say:

Avril Lavigne - Not Enough (Wow, that actually kind of works.)

(2) How would you describe yourself?

Kelly Clarkson - Because of You (excuse me while I go dissect the meaning of this.)

(3) What do you like in a guy/girl?

All Time Low - Damned If I Do Ya, Damned If I Don't (I think I just got called a nympho. That doesn't say anything good for my mental health...)

(4) How do you feel today?

Jonas Brothers - A Little Bit Longer (I'm really hoping that means hopeful...)

(5) What is your life's purpose?

Skillet - The Older I Get (So...I'm going to age gracefully? I like that idea.)

(6) What's your motto?

All Time Low - Under a Paper Moon (What? Just...what?)

(7) What do your friends think of you?

Mayday Parade - Miserable (They think I'm depressed? Miserable? Sad? Well.)

(8) What do your parents think of you?

Kelly Clarkson - Don't Be a Girl About It (Um...yeah...about that...I'm a girl...So that's not going to work so well.)

(9) What do you think of very often?

Niki McKibbin - Inconsolable (Okay, so, my iPod shuffle has me being all depressed.)

(10) What is 22?

Jimmy Eat World - The Authority Song (Okay, I'll take it. Not gonna complain.)

(11) What do you think about your best friend?

My Girl Friday - Down By the Water (Oh...God...no...Just no.)

(12) What is your life story?

Journey - Ask the Lonely (What?)

(13) What do you want to be when you grow up?

KSM - Distracted (So...I'm going to be unfocused forever? Whhhhyyy????)

(14) What do you think when you see the person you like?

Jessica Simpson - I've Got My Eyes On You (See, this one actually works. Much better.)

(15) What will you dance to at your wedding?

The Beatles - Can't Buy Me Love (Okay then. I'll take it.)

(16) What will they play at your funeral?

Britney Spears - Outrageous (No. Just...no...)

(17) What is your hobby/interest?

Mutemath - Typical (So...stereotypical? Normal hobby? I'm so confused.)

(18) What is your biggest fear?

Megan & Liz - Bad For Me (You know what? I think I'm going to accept that and just move on.)

(19) What is your biggest secret in life?

Niki Cleary - Summertime Guys (Yes, please!)

(20) What do you want right now?

Ashlee Simpson - Boyfriend (Um...I think I'm good for the moment. But thanks anyway.)

(21) What do you think of your friends?

P!nk - Save My Life (I love my friends, but not sure about that.)

(22) What is the one thing you regret?

Artist Vs. Poet - So Much I Never Said (Yeah, that works.)

(23) How will you die?

The Rolling Stones - Heart of Stone (I'm not even going to ask...)

(24) If you could go back and change something, what would it be?

Kate Voegele - One Way Or Another (So, one way or another I'm going to build a time machine?)

(25) What will you post this as?

Charice - One Day.

Funny Quotes And Random Things:
- Stupidity killed the cat. Curiousity was framed.
- Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
- I used all my sick days, so I called in dead...
- They say, "Guns dont kill people, people kill people.' Well, I think the gun helps, because if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG" I dont think you'd kill too many people.
- So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?
- Yeah, I'm a loser. But the coolest loser you'll ever meet.
- Save the Earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
- No, I won't go to Hell! It has a restraining order against me.
- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
- When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because, I mean, really? Who likes lemons?
- When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
- When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
- Life isnt passing me by; it's trying to run me over.
- Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
- I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept!
- Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide.
- I live in my own little world. But it's okay, they know me there.
- The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.
- Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.
- If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?
- Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking leeches?
- You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
- Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and it is in fact frowned upon in most societies.
- I used to be normal... until I met those freaks I call my friends.
- I got you a present; it's a CD. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it...
- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!
- When in doubt, make up words!
- Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.
- If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!
- If you're gonna be two-faced, sweetie at least make one of them pretty.
- All work and no play means you will die in seven days... dun dun duuun.
- I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous.
- Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; its already tomorrow in Australia.
- Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
- You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not cold then I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thank You for embracing it!
- Come to the Dark Side... we have cookies!
- One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
- Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks!
- Before you critisize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!
-The statistics of insanty is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
- When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
- A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
- Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
- There is no "I" in team but there is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
- Music is like candy: You throw away the (w)rappers.
- The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
- Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
- What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question... I wonder...
- My mind works like lightning... one brilliant flash and it's gone.
- Do not take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
- If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
- Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
- Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
- I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.
- Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now.
- WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.
- If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up.
- Yes, I do use my hairbrush as a microphone and dance around in my underwear. Thank you very much.
- I don't have a dog... I eat my own homework. I'm not random, I just have many tho- OOH, LOOK! A SQUIRREL!
- Please: Don't throw your cigarette butt's on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.
- There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't.
- Welcome to the internet, pants optional.
- Warning: Trespassers will be shot, Survivors will be shot again.
- If I throw a stick, will you go away?

Random Sarcastic Junk. (Note: Some may be repeated from above random sarcastic junk.)

One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.

Kids are the future. Be afraid, Be very afraid!

Don't hit kids. Seriously, they have guns now.

If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So SHUT UP!

WARNING- stop throwing your cigarette butts on the carpet! Seriously, the cockroaches are getting cancer!

Warning: trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

When life gives you lemons, squirt them in the eyes of your enemies.

Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that!

My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious.

if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!

let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

warning: im sarcastic and i hurt peoples feeling sometimes, boo hoo. get over it.!

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!

-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-I do not deny everything.

-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
A: Nothing (if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him).

Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says divided by two.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but
pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is
in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO so i MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so i MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE so i MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs

I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!

I'm PRETTY so i MUST not be a virgin

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS so I MUST look for attention

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.

I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.

I like ANIME so I MUST be a geek with no social life

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

"A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut. No-one knows she was raped at 13. People call a girl fat. No-one knows she has a serious disease which causes her to be over weight. People call an old man ugly. No-one knows he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Repost this if you're against bullying and stereotyping. 95% of you won't." - from Sarah310592

They keep saying the right person will come along; I think a truck hit mine.

Too many freaks, not enough circus's!

" I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!"

I wasn't born a bitch; men like you made me that way.

A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, You Know, Night

I’m Not A Complete Idiot; Some Parts Are Missing.

Idiots surround me!

Someday your prince will come. Mine got lost, took a wrong turn, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

"Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words."

Random Sarcastic Junk

One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.

Kids are the future. Be afraid, Be very afraid!

Don't hit kids. Seriously, they have guns now.

If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So SHUT UP!

WARNING- stop throwing your cigarette butts on the carpet! Seriously, the cockroaches are getting cancer!

Warning: trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

When life gives you lemons, squirt them in the eyes of your enemies.

Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that!

My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious.

if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!

let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

warning: im sarcastic and i hurt peoples feeling sometimes, boo hoo. get over it.!

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!

-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-I do not deny everything.

-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

The road to success is always under construction.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

Life's tough...Get a helmet

I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!

SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends

Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain

Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."

Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

An atheist is a person who believes in not believing anything.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

Everyone has a wild side--me and my friends just prefer to make them public

Labels are for cans. And in case you haven't noticed--Im not a can.

Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I ran with scissors, and lived!

BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for a couple of scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this into your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann -- Disney's PIRATES OF THE CARRIBBEAN -- are made for each other and that, no matter how awesomely awesome Jack Sparrow may be, he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabteh, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!!

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.

If you believe that Justin Bieber will never be as awesome as the Jonas Brothers, copy and paste this into your profile.

If sarcasm is your first and favorite language, then copy and paste this into your profile.

R.I.P.- Cedric Diggory, Sirius Black, Albus Dumbledore, Alastor Moody, Hedwig, Dobby, Colin Creevy, Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin, and Fred Weasley. They will never be forgotten.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. When you argue with yourself and LOSE is when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you wondered why Malfoy always wears a black suit, although he is pure blood and it would make more sense for him to be wearing robes like his father, copy and paste this on to your profile.

98 percent of all teenage girls would give their souls to Edward Cullen if he was stabbed with a wooden stake. Post this on your profile if you're part of the 2 percent that stabbed him.

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you'd be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!!

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you cried when Fred Weasley died ((in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)), and not afraid to admit it, copy, paste this on your profile

You know your addiction to Harry Potter is getting dangerous when you've added words like "Voldemort", "Hogwarts", and "Marauders" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done that, copy this into your profile

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

96% of teenage girls obsess over Twilight, put this in your signature if you're one of the 4 who like stories where the vampires are actually portrayed as monsters, and not as pretty people with fangs

If you like to pretend that Fred Weasley never died, copy and paste this on to your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile

If you believe that straight, gay, bi, and lesbian people are all equal and entitled to their beliefs, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If it completely pisses you off when someone says being gay is gross, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy and paste this in to your profile

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent that would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy this into your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you think the school week is way too long and weekends are way too short, copy this onto your profile.

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Why when we look in a mirror its consitered looking at ourselves but really were just looking at a piece of glass?

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."

"How to store your baby walker: Step 1, Remove baby."

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Empress Caroline of Tamaran, monkyluvr, Darth KenObi-Wan, JediWolfMaster,EwanLuvr4Ever, xXJedi Knight BlazeXx, JaneVolturi, LOSTSOULOFTHEUNDERWORLD, DarkAngel620, Dithinus, Science-Fantasy93

(.• (.•pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

If you're IN LOVE with Big Time Rush, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have NO problem with homosexuality, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you're the shortest person in your family, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think all those uptight overly-religeous weirdos should just sit down, shut up, and leave Halloween on Sunday ALONE, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love puppies, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think pandas are adorable, copy and paste this to your profile.

98% of girls would follow Robert Pattensen if he jumped off a building. If you're part of the two perecent who would grab some popcorn and fight over front-row seats to watch, copy and paste this to your profile. LOL! XD

If you want to join the fight to END animal cruelty, copy and paste this to your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good because unique is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you approve of gay-marriages put this on your profile and add your name to the list: Gaara's-pandachan101, 678yui-julie-and-kiki-kitten, Flying_Shadow666, GregsLabrat, Panda-Boo15, Science-Fantasy93.

If you hate homework, copy and paste this into your profile.

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done? If so, scroll down (Don’t cheat--)

THE ANSWERS 1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love. Black: You are conservative and aggressive. Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you Love. Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are Down.

3. If you’re initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to Blossom. S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you Fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but The memories will last forever. July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life Changing experience for the good. Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your Soul mate.

5. If you choose... Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time But will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do Anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose... California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose... Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He still lives today...
Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you beleive and God and Jesus Christ is His son...
Then copy and paste this into your profile
If you ignore him, in the Bible, Jesus says..
"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my father in Heaven..."

Dora the exporer is soo an Illegal Immigrant...

Ok, so here's the deal... If you need the explanations they're
all around you...

1) She speaks spanish... she speaks spanish perfectly... what
is she like...5? Her backpack even speaks spanish perfectly!

2) That backpack
of hers has EVERYTHING in it! And we're talking everything! Life support,
water/food, clothing for any weather, ropes, grappling hooks, shoes... i mean
c'mon!

3) She's carrying a freaking ZOO with her! I mean, she has a monkey, an
band of insects, a bajillion other animals! Really! What kind of legal
immigrant has that many pets!?

4) She's always on an "adventure" to
transport a "package" to some destination and is always being
stalked by a person trying to take that package... i mean... really, Swiper is
so obviously some sort of border patrol person trying to collect evidence of
Dora's entire narcotics trafficing buisness

5)The evidence is so obvious and
around you guys! And they're even poisoning our little children with them...
Who wants our toddlers to grow up knowing spanish before english?!

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me! I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose. My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.

When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.

When you were 10, your mom payed for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.

When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night.

When you were 14, your mom payed for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.

When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.

When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out.

When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.

When you were 20, your mom drove you to collage. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the drom so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends.

When you were 26, your mom payed for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.

When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children.

Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you.

If YOU love your mom, re-post this and if you don't, you won't care if your mom dies, will you?

Let's see how well this works...

HOW GUYS FLIRT: 1. He stares at you alot. 2. He hits you alot. (just play hitting ) 3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a converstaion with you 4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mum that day she picked you up from school. 5. He blew off his buds to go see "Brown Sugar" with you cuz you couldn't get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone. 6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process 7. His voice gets softer when ever you two talk. 8. You hung up on him. He called you back. 9. You were invited by him to a group outing. 10. He called you to talk about nothing at all. 11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do laugh PRETTY LOUD. Which makes you laugh even harder... 12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation 13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes. 14. He uses every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, thighs, KNEES,ect.) HOW GIRLS FLIRT: 1.She calls you by your full name not just a nick name. 2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny. 3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you. 4. She touches your arm when she talks to you. 5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her face. 6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested. 7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost always next to you. 8. She criticizes you on a girl you like. 9. You catch her staring at you. 10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you. 11. Her friends outside of school and in school know about you, and says she talks about you a lot. 12. She knows your phone number and address. ( stalker much? ) 13. She will try and talk, and spend time with you as much as possible Now make a wish... Ok stop! Your wish will come true if you repost this if you don't repost this then you will never get asked out or you will lose the one u love?! repost this in 15 min and your wish will come true in 5 days. repost this in 10 min and your wish will come true in 3 days. repost this in 5 min and your wish will come true in 1 day

Sweetness

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could

miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.

Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress.

Homophobia and You: They're people too! Stop the hate and spread the love!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't ignore it Because the Bible says That If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my father and the glory of Heaven

"Mommy, how do we know God is real when we can't see Him?"

"Can you see the wind?"

"No."

"Then how do you know it's there?"

"...I can feel it."

Put this on your profile if you believe in God!

46 Ways To Annoy a Non-Harry Potter Fan:

1) Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter books or movies.

2) Crowd their in box with Harry Potter related emails, make the subject misleading.

3) Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their b-day and demand they cherish it 4-ever.

4) Pretend you can do magic.

5) Yell "CRUCIO" whenever they insult Harry Potter.

6) If your late for something blame it on your broken time turner.

7) Sort every person you meet in to one of the four houses.

8) Say "Lumos" every time you turn on a light.

9) If your asked to retrieve something shout "Accio" loudly.

10) Refuse to wash your hair and explain you're going for the Snape look.

11) Spend hours at a time trying to make your broom fly.

12) Tap all brick walls you encounter with an umbrella.

13) Demand to know what exactly the function of a rubber duck is.

14) Carry around a hip flask and refuse to drink anything anyone else offers you.

15) Hum the Harry Potter theme all day long.

16) Talk to animals and insist that they're animagi.

17) Walk up to random people and ask if their initials are R.A.B.

18) Tell them that they're almost as smart as Grawp.

19) Refuse to tell them who Grawp is.

20) Whenever it gets foggy outside scream "The Dementors are coming!" and hide for days at a time.

21) Point at modern electronic devices and say "Look at that! The things these muggles come up with!"

22) Point and grunt and insist that your speaking troll.

23) Take them to a CD store and make them look for the new Weird Sisters Album.

24) Always speak with a British accent, especially if your not from the U.K.

25) Draw round glasses and a lightening bolt scar on every poster you come across.

26) Constantly compare them to Mrs. Figg.

27) Laugh evilly if they ask who Mrs. Figg is.

28) Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move.

29) Break any awkward silences by saying "How 'bout them Chudley Canons."

30) Say "Alhomora" every time you open a door.

31) Every time you see them demand an explanation of why they don't like harry potter.

32) Say everything in a sing-song voice like Luna Lovegood.

33) Shriek loudly and say that you're speaking Mermish.

34) If they ask you about the weather solemnly say, "Mars is bright tonight."

35) Pretend your under an invisibility cloak and shout "You can't see me!"

36) Knit them a maroon jumper every year, especially if maroon isn't there color.

37) Draw the sign of the Hallow on every surface in the house.

38) While playing chess with them, stare at your pieces and give them verbal commands.

39) Throw the chess board across the room when the pieces don't move.

40) When one of the movies is on TV remind them every five minutes.

41) Refer to random people as "You-Know-Who."

42) Start swatting at the air saying there's a wrackspurt around.

43) Ask them to help you stuy for your O.W.L.'S

44) Walk around bumping into walls explaining your looking for the Room of Requirement.

45) Run up to random men with long dark hair and scream "SIRIUS! I always knew you were alive!"

46) Tell them that You-Know-Who was defeated today. When they ask who's you-know-who pretend to be offended and don't tell them who he is.

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

2. Run through the isles shouting; "ITS GONNA BLOW! EVERYBODY GET OUT"

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
whisper, "Pick me! Pick me!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream:
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose YOU!"

Repost this if you laughed, or if you plan on doing any of those things!!

Female comebacks

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes, they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: I bet your face has turned a few heads.
Woman: I bet yours has turned a few stomachs

Man: I'm a modeling agent, I've been looking for a face like yours.
Woman: I'm a plastic surgeon, I've been looking for a face like yours.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Woman: Not until I met you

Man: Haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD clinic.

Man: So, wanna go back to my place?
Woman: I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Woman: It's in the phone book.
Man: But I don't know your name.
Woman: That's in the phone book too.

Man: What sign were you born under?
Woman: No parking.

Man: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason.
Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

Man: Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hit the hot spots?
Woman: Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile. :D

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

'Sometimes your arm around my waist is more than enough.'

'Don't give up because god's love and glory is always there and will never ever fail you :"

'It's funny how when I'm loud people tell me to be quiet. But when I'm quiet, people ask what's wrong with me.'

'It's not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen.'

'Life is like a pen. You can cross things out but you can never erase them.'

'Imperfections make you beauitful.'

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've have decided to look beyond the imperfections." - Unknown

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genuis and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." - Marilyn Monroe

"Never be normal."

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.

You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega. (Does being addicted to my babysitter's count?)
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.

It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favorite colors.

You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth. (Usually when I'm breaking into a conversation...)

Sleep with your socks on at night.

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love skirts.
Cats are better than dogs. (I have two cats who know they're better than dogs ;P)
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mom for advice.
Pink, yellow, orange, purple or gold is one of your favorite colors.
You hate wearing the colour black.

You like hanging out at the shopping center.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.

Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance.

It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.

You care about what you look like.

You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body perfume.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.

Like being the star of everything.

PREP

You own a cell phone.

You own something from Abercrombie.

You own something from Pac sun.

You own something from Hollister.

You own something from American eagle.

You love/like going to the mall.

You own an iPod/MP3 player.

You love Starbucks.

You have been called a brat.

You hate buying things that are on sale.

You have more than one house.

GOTH

Black is one of your favourite colors.

You have thought about death.

You wear chains.

You like heavy metal.

You’ve shopped at Hot Topic.

You have worn black lipstick.

Your hair was/is dark. (Don't know how much it counts-it's naturally dark.)

You dislike preps.

You’re an atheist/ Satanist/agnostic.

PUNK

You can skateboard

You’ve worn plaid.

You like Converse.

You hate MTV.

You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair. - (streaks count)

You dislike pink.

You hate/dislike preps.

You wear/wore skateboarding shoes.

GEEK

You love the computer.

You like Harry Potter.

You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts

You get straight A's.

You love/like reading.

You were/are in band.

You don't care what you look like.

You have a curfew.

You always do your homework.

You never miss school unless you're sick.

ATHLETIC

You watch/watched the Super bowl.

You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.

You collect your jerseys.

You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards.

You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.

Your garage consists of sports equipment.

You belong/belonged to a school team.

You are going/did go to a sports summer camp.

You have a specific number.

HARDCORE//SCENE

You like loud music.

You love/loved the Ninja Turtles.

You never walk anywhere.

You wear slip-on shoes.

You wear/wore Vans.

You like the band Panic! At the disco.

You wear band t-shirts.

People have called you a freak and meant it.

You love to "hardcore" dance.

Hair has been died more than 1 color

Life can be be hard, but you can always make the best of it. Copy and paste this to your profile if you believe this.

Do it one by one, don't look ahead! (only posted this cuz it was true for me!!!)

1. write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green.

3. your first initial?

4. your month of birth?

5. which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. your favorite number?

8. do you like California of Florida more?

9. do you like the lake or ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one.)

are you done?

If so, scroll down

(Don't cheat--)

The Answers

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and you life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the one you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If you're initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and you love life is soon to blossom

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If You were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will for very well for you and you will discover the you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr-June: you will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever

July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you choose...

Black: your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you and you will be glad for the change.

white: You will have a friend who completely confides in ykou and would do anything for you but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...

California: You like adventure.

Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to you friends and you love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you Re-post this bulletin in one hours and it will come true before your next birthday!

Just because you don't see anything happening, doesn't mean that God isn't working, copy and paste this into your profile if you agree.

ONE DAY A DAD COMES HOME DRUNK AND MAD. HE PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS HIS WIFE AND THEN TURNS
THE GUN ON HIMSELF. HIS LITTLE GIRL SITS BEHIND THE COUCH CRYING. THE POLICE CAME AND TOOK THE
LITTLE GIRL TO A NEW FAMILY. HER FIRST DAY TO SUNDAY SCHOOL SHE WALKS INTO THE BUILDING AND
SEES A PICTURE OF JESUS ON THE CROSS.

THE LITTLE GIRL ASKS THE TEACHER: How did that man get
off the cross?

THE TEACHER REPLIED: He never did.

THE LITTLE GIRL ARGUED: Yes he did when mommy
and daddy fought he sat next to me behind the couch telling me everything was gonna be alright...

66 of u won't repost this. BUT REMEMBER THE BIBLE SAID, ''DENY JESUS IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS
AND I WILL DENY YOU IN FRONT OF MY FATHER."Repost this IF YOUR NOT ASHAMED. Let God's love spread

A guy gets a girl 11 real roses and one fake rose. When he gave her the 12 roses, he said,"I'll love you until the last one dies.

1)Are you:
Short?
Average?
Tall?

2)Are you:
Skinny?
Average?
Pleasantly plump?

3)Are your eyes:
Blue?
Brown?
Hazel?
Green?

4)What is your favorite color out of all of these?
Baby Blue
Red
Purple
Black
Pink
Green
Yellow

5)Where is your dream place to live?
Hawaii
Puerto Rico
NewYork
Paris

6)What is your favorite pet out of all of these?
Dog
Cat
Fish
Hamster

7)What's your dream date?
Movie
Arcade
Candle Light Dinner
Amusement Park

8) Name a person of the opposite gender!

9) Name a person of the same gender!

10) Make a wish!

ANSWERS:

1)Short=Adorable=15
Average=Popular=10
Tall=Hot=5

2) Skinny=Sweet=10
Average=Fun=15
Pleasantly plump=Nerdy=1

3) Blue=Sweet=10
Brown=Sexy=15
Hazel=Sensitive=20
Green=Caring=5

4) Baby Blue=Cool and Calm=30
Red=Anxious and Energetic=10
Purple=Laid Back=15
Black=Gothic=7
Pink=Girlie Girl=10
Green=Outcast=5
Yellow=Preppy=20

5) Hawaii=Laid back=25
Puerto Rico=Party animal=20
New York=People pers10
Paris=Love to shop=15

6) Dog=Great and lovable friend=20
Cat=Curious and adventurous=15
Fish=Boring=5
Hamster=Dorky=3

7) Movies=You like to make-out=15
Arcade=Total dork=4
Candlelight dinner=Romantic=20
Amusement Park=Adventurous=16

8) This person will ask you out...

9) This person will hate you...if you dont copy and paste this quiz

10) This wish will come true if you REPOST NOT REPLY

Okay now add it all up...
90 and above=UR SEXY!
70-89 points= HOTTIE WITH A BODY!!
50-69 points= Cute n Cool
7-49 points= geek that reeks!!

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

"A true boyfriend"

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stare's at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hit's you
Grab her and dont let go

When she start's cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignore's you
Give her your attention

When she pull's away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay

When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.-

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-

When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her-
because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;

"Who's butt am I kicking, Sweetie?"

If you post this in the next five minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.

Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend."
Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do"

This is so sweet!!!!:

Girls Need To Realize: WRITTEN BY A GUY :)

We guys don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.
We don't care if a guy callsOR TEXTSbut at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.
Nothing is that important at 2 a.m.
That it can't wait till the morning.

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/
cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.
Don't tell us we're wrong.
We'll stop trying to convince you.

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.

Yeah, you can quote me.

Don't be mad when we hold the door open.

Take Advantage of the mood im in.

Let us pay for you!
don't 'feel bad'
We enjoy doing it.
It's expected.
Smile and say 'thank you.

Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us.
If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to
wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.
We like you for who you are and not what you are.
Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's.
or my t-shirt and boxers, not all dolled up.

Don't take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.

Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

Don't talk about how hot Chris Brown,
Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.

Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'
i'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me
with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or whatever else you can think of.
On the other hand i'm not saying i wouldn't like it ether ; )

Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change!!
Ditch his sorry butt, disgrace to the male population
and find someone who will treat you with utter respect
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes...and say 'i love you' ..and actually mean it.

Give the nice guys a chance.

Guys repost this if you agree.
Girls repost this if you think it's cute.
Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this,
so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this.

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her."

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

WHAT A KISS MEANS

Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"
Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"
Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything"
Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"
Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"

What the gesture means...
Holding Hands = "we definitely love each other"
Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"
Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"
Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"
Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"
Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"
Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"
picking someone up off their feet = "that they love them fully and would do anything for them"

--Advice--
Dont ask for a kiss, take one
If you were thinking about someone while reading this,
you're definitely in Love.

DID YOU KNOW:

-Kissing is healthy. -
-Bananas are good for cramps.
-Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
-Its true. Guys DO insult you if they like you.
-Having someone rub your tummy when it hurts actually helps it.
-89% of guys woul...d want girls to make the first move.
-Girls love it when Guys hug them from behind the waist...
-Chocolate makes you feel better.
-Girls love it when guys let them wear their hoodie or jacket.
-Guys think its cute when you mess up.
-A true friend will NEVER judge you.
-There is only one guy who is worth your tears.
-If you have a dream about someone, then that person went to sleep thinking about you.
-More guys than girls will read this.
- Everyone likes surprises.

* Now make a wish. Wish really hard! Wish before reading on. * * * * * * * You wish will be received tomorrow. Your wish will only come true if you copy and paste this to your profile page.

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children (so we have children's aspirin...that children can't get to)

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts (Really? Now that's shocking...Seriously, I think that was life changing)

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping (Dang. I've become addicted to sleep-hair-curling. This will never work!)

4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire (And here I thought it was ice. Face-palm!)

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking (You mean we can't chew through all that frozen goodness?)

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado (Does this mean people can use it to protect themselves from hurricanes?)

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts (Uhhh...I kinda thought frisbees were all one piece...Do they come with batteries now or something?)

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children (So now sticking them in kids' stomachs when they don't behave is out of the question. That's not abusive or dangerous, now is it?)

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. (So there's going to be a trial during that person's funeral. Sounds like fun!)

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping (You mean it's not a substitute for whipped cream? NO WAY!)

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regular soap (As opposed to non-regular soap?)

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness (So that's why we take them! I thought they were a replacement for coffee)

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required (You mean puzzles don't come all put together in one box?)

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use (Uhhh...I don't think I even want to know)

SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike
English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves

Whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be

Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better one.

The women won (although in Spanish, it techinchally is La Computadora)

"Sure their have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."

"How to store your baby walker: Step 1, Remove baby."

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

Boys are cheats and liars. They're such a big disgrace. They will tell you anything to get to second base...ball, baseball. He thinks he's gonna score. If you let them go all the way, then are a hor...ticultures studies flowers, geologist studies rocks. The only thing a guys wants from you is a place to put his co...ckroches, beetles, butterflies and bugs. Nothing makes him happier than a giant pair of jug...lers and acrobats, a dancing bear named Chuck. All a guy really wants to do is f-orget it, no such luck. If you agree with this rhyme, copy and paste this on your profile.

-- Depression n. - Anger without enthusiasm.
-- That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.
-- In man's struggle against the world, bet on the world.
-- If you can't say anything nice, then at least have the decency to be vague.
-- If I seem to give a damn, please tell me. I would hate to be giving the wrong impression.
-- Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away.

-- When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it; but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them.
-- Scientists say that 1 out of every 4 people are crazy... so go check 3 of your friends, if it's not them... Congrats!
-- Don't piss me off today, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
-- I'm not anti-social, I just don't like you.
-- If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?
-- You can only gain confidence by surviving the attempt.
-- Dream as if you'll live forever; But live as if you'll die tomorrow.
-- One day your life will flash before your eyes; Just make sure its worth watching!

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

I
I L
I LO
I LOV
I LOVE
I LOVE B
I LOVE BI
I LOVE BIG
I LOVE BIG T
I LOVE BIG TI
I LOVE BIG TIM
I LOVE BIG TIME
I LOVE BIG TIME R
I LOVE BIG TIME RU
I LOVE BIG TIME RUS
I LOVE BIG TIME RUSH
I LOVE BIG TIME RUS
I LOVE BIG TIME RU
I LOVE BIG TIME R
I LOVE BIG TIME
I LOVE BIG TIM
I LOVE BIG TI
I LOVE BIG T
I LOVE BIG
I LOVE BI
I LOVE B
I LOVE
I LOV
I LO
I L
I
B
BI
BIG
BIG T
BIG TI
BIG TIM
BIG TIME
BIG TIME R
BIG TIME RU
BIG TIME RUS
BIG TIME RUSH
BIG TIME RUS
BIG TIME RU
BIG TIME R
BIG TIME
BIG TIM
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BIG T
BIG
BI
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L
LO
LOG
LOGA
LOGAN
LOGAN H
LOGAN HE
LOGAN HEN
LOGAN HEND
LOGAN HENDE
LOGAN HENDER
LOGAN HENDERS
LOGAN HENDERSO
LOGAN HENDERSON
LOGAN HENDERSO
LOGAN HENDERS
LOGAN HENDER
LOGAN HENDE
LOGAN HEND
LOGAN HEN
LOGAN HE
LOGAN H
LOGAN
LOGA
LOG
LO
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JA
JAM
JAME
JAMES M
JAMES MA
JAMES MAS
JAMES MASL
JAMES MASLO
JAMES MASLOW
JAMES MASLO
JAMES MASL
JAMES MAS
JAMES MA
JAMES M
JAMES
JAME
JAM
JA
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CAR
CARL
CARLO
CARLOS
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CARLOS PE
CARLOS PEN
CARLOS PENA
CARLOS PENA J
CARLOS PENA JR
CARLOS PENA J
CARLOS PENA
CARLOS PEN
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CARLOS
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CARL
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KEN
KEND
KENDA
KENDAL
KENDALL
KENDALL S
KENDALL SH
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KENDALL SHMID
KENDALL SHMIDT
KENDALL SHMID
KENDALL SHMI
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KENDALL
KENDAL
KENDA
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ღღღ Put ღღღ
ღღღ Dis ღღღ
ღღღ On ღღღ
ღღღ Ur Channelღღღ
ღღღ If U Love ღღღ
ღღღ (BTR) Big Time Rush FOREVER

ø„"ºø„„øº" „øº"
"ºø„ Big Time Rush „øº"
„øº" ROCKS!! "ºø„
„øº"„øº""º ø„"ºø

ღ
ღღ
ღ BIG TIME RUSH!

Man 1: I think I'm the fastest man alive! (goes to GWR headquarters) I am the fastest man alive!

Man 2: I think I'm the strongest man alive! (goes to GWR headquarters) I am the strongest man alive!

Man 3: I think I'm the hottest guy alive! (goes to GWR headquarters) WHO THE HELL IS JAMES MASLOW!

You say Twlilight
I say Harry Potter
You say Vampires
I say Wizards
You say Jacob Black
I say Sirius Black
You say Team Edward
I say Team Potter
You say Robert Pattison
I'll say 'Is Cedric Diggory'
You say Pattison is hot
I'll say Tom Felton is HOTTER
You think Bella and Edward are the Perfect dream couple?
I think thats Ron and Hermione are the Perfect dream couple
You say Edward
I'll say "Harry, now shut Up!"
Copy/Paste this if you agree that Twilight is nothing compared with HP and it's magical glory

In Remembrance of Severus Snape
A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor
without all the red and gold crap
In Remeberance of Lily Potter
Who died to protect her son
she made the ulimate sacrifice
to make the world a safer place
she'll always remain in our hearts
In Remembrance of James Potter
Who was the leader of the Marauders
And died to protect his son and wife
In Remembrance of Fred Weasley
Who fought bravely to the very end
And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half
And will loyally await his soul mate and brother
with many jokes, he's got forever to think of them, right
In Remenberance of Cedric Diggory
Who died before his time
and will be remembered for his bravery
In Rememberance of Sirius Black
The black sheep in his family
he died laughing at the hands of his cousin
he didn't deserve to spend the last fourteen years of his life
the way he did in Azkaban and on the run
In Remembrance of Dobby
Who was more free and full of love
than any elf, and most humans
In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin
the last real Marauderer
who was not just a wonderful father
a incredible husband and brave hero
as well as a freaking awesome werewolf
In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks
who died for ‘the greater good’
and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora
In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody
who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive
and scared the crap out of some kids too
In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort
who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger
but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end
In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore
whose past and wisdom confused us
whose seeming betrayal shocked us
but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end
despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing
In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange
because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra
She deserved everything she got and more
In Remembrance of Colin Creevey
who we really didn’t know too well
but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war
so he must’ve done something good
besides stalking Harry
In Remembrance of Hedwig
Harry actual first friend
who lived and died SOARING

If you're in denial over Tonks and Remus' death's copy and paste this into your profile.

If you support werewolf rights, copy & paste this into your profile.

Courtroom Quotations: Actual quotations from courtroom transcripts

Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
Witness: "I only have one, you know.

Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.

Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "July 15th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."

Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?"
Witness: "There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet."
Lawyer: "Can you identify the rifle?"
Witness: "Yes. There was something written on the side of it."
Lawyer: "And what did the writing say?"
Witness: "'Winchester'!"

Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."

Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."

Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness: "I forget."
Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"

Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."

Lawyer: "Did you blow your horn or anything?"
Witness: "After the accident?"
Lawyer: "Before the accident."
Witness: "Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it."

Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

Lawyer: "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."

Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"

Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"

Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"

Witness: "...He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
Witness: "Guess."

Lawyer: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
Witness: "I went to Europe, sir."
Lawyer: "And you took your new wife?"

Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
WITNESS: Are you s*tting me?

Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"

Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
Witness: Uh... I was getting laid!

Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
Witness: "Four times."

Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
Witness: "None."
Lawyer: "Were there girls?"

Lawyer: "You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?"

Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
Witness: "Borofkin."
Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
Witness: "I can't remember."
Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"

Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question."
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question."
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
Witness: "No."

Lawyer: "How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?"
Witness: "Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr. Cherney and said he was really good."

Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."

Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"

Lawyer: "Did he pick the dog up by the ears?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "What was he doing with the dog's ears?"
Witness: "Picking them up in the air."
Lawyer: "Where was the dog at this time?"
Witness: "Attached to the ears."

Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."

Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
Witness: "Oral."
Lawyer: "How old are you?"
Witness: "Oral."

Lawyer: "What is your relationship with the plaintiff?"
Witness: "She is my daughter."
Lawyer: "Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?"

Lawyer: "Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?"

Lawyer: "Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?"
Witness: "Did you actually pass the bar exam?"

Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"

Lawyer: "So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?"
Witness: "I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital."
Lawyer: "It was covered?"
Witness: "Yes, bandaged."
Lawyer: "Then, later on...what did you see?"
Witness: "I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head."

Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."

Lawyer: "Do you drink when you're on duty?"
Witness: "I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk."

Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."

Lawyer: "Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?"
Witness: "Because he was argumentary, and he couldn't pronunciate his words."

Lawyer: "And was he dead when you performed the autopsy?"
Witness: "No, you idiot, he was sitting up on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!"

Lawyer: "What is the meaning of sperm being present?"
Witness: "It indicates intercourse."
Lawyer: "Male sperm?"
Witness: "That is the only kind I know."

Lawyer : "Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult?"
Witness: "We both do."
Lawyer: "Voodoo?"
Witness: "We do."
Lawyer: "You do?"
Witness: "Yes, voodoo."

Lawyer: "Are you sexually active?"
Witness: "No, I just lie there."