... my profile ...

what can i say?

I am girl.

I am 14.

I am Aussie.

I am young aspiring author.

I am hot tempered.

I am hyper.

I am NOT normal. (probs figured that out)

And please, wipe your feet on the door mat :D

LOL jks

Seriously... stop looking at me like that... My imaginary friend thinks you're weird...

LOL jks

I am crazy. (didn't need a doctor to tell me that *sniff sniff* he took away my super powers)

I am liking apple liquorice.

YUM YUM.

I write stories for fanfiction when I'm bored enough to want to chew my foot off... Or when I have writers block. If you find me typing... it's a fan fiction... if you find me writing with good old pen and paper... it's my own book I'm writing... if you find me sharpening my knife... LOL jks.

Random thing you should know about me? Don't piss me off :D Srsly. I will tell you off. I ain't afraid of nothing.

TAURUS - The Enduring One ~ (April 20 - May 20th)
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted.
Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts.
Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice.
Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally.
Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often.
Very generous. 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward

--Basics--

Name: Danielle

Nickname(s): Dani

Age: 14yrs, wishing i was eighteen going on 21 (YOU HAVE TO KNOW MY MUM TO GET THAT ONE)

Birthday: 13-5

Current Location: ... Don’t know... its dark, the walls are white and padded... im typing with my nose because I’m in a strait jacket or w/e...

Eye Colour: dark brown

Hair Colour: dark brown

Lefty or Righty: Righty

Zodiac Sign: Taurus – YOU MESS WITH THE BULL? YOU GET THE HORNS!

What Do You Drive: My older brothers motorbike when he’s a work and his lovely wife has me over for lunch and says I can :D

"Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork"

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

Don't follow me, I'm lost too

At least I don't care what those mindless people think of me

It's always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I've found it?

I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm just gonna ask where their going and hook up with them later

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face?

Haha. I don't get it

So what if we act like immature idiots? We're having fun.

If at first you don't succeed skydiving isn't for you

Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them

Set sail in a genaral that way direction

Music is my boyfriend

Defination of Your Mom: How to answer a question when your bored

Poke me. I dare you.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

Docters say I have multiple personalitys. We disagree with that.

I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

When life gives you lemons make apple juice and then laugh when people try to figure out what the hell you did.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

ANOTHER random thing you should know about me, well, my friends love to hack into my various accounts, facebook, bebo (btw.. how is bebo doing? lol), fanfiction, youtube. You name it. So if you see random typing like "OH YEAH BRO, IMA EFFING WOG! WOG PRIDE IS ON MY MIND, IN BRIGHTON YOU WILL FIND, LOTS OF MY CUZEZ GETTING DOWN, LOTS OF MY CUZEZ IN TOWN, GET OFF MY BACK, BEFORE I FIX U ON THE TRACK." its not me :P (don't ask about fix u on the track, i ain't exactly sure what it means either, my friends are weird. awesome, but weird...)

Defination of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some priminal areas.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubburn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

I'm here because heaven wouldn't take me and hell was afraid i'd take over.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

Whenever you feel pissed off at someone walk a mile in there shoes, that way your a mile from them and you have their shoes. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Did you know Sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity.

Have seen my sanity I seem to have lost it?

Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hate that.

Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball make big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read in school about the wars that solved America's problems?

364 days of the years kids are told not to take candy from strangers, but on Halloween it's encouraged! Why is that?

An apple a day keeps the docter away, if well aimed.

Parents spend the first part of our lifes teaching us how to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Boys are like trees- they take 50 years to grow up.

How are the force and duct tape the same?- They both have light and dark sides and hold the universe together.

Never go to a docter who's office plants have died.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Isn't Disney Land a people trap operated by a mouse?

When life hands you lemons throw them right back and tell life to make it's own dang lemonade!

The sun has set, the moon has risen, today's the day we get out of prison.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out."?

Who was the first person to say "You see that chicken over there? I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt."?

When french people swear do they say Pardon my English?

The difference between friends and best friends

F: Never asks for food or drink

BF: Is the reason your fridge is empty

F:Bail you out of jail

BF: In the next cell saying "man we messed up, again!"

F:Only knows a few things about you.

BF: Is writing a embarassing biography you don't know about as we speak.

F:Knocks on the door.

BF:Comes in saying "I'm Hoooooome"

if you can raed tihs,cnorgadulations! You are one or the sarmt peploe who dno't need to look at the wrod idnivalually, but as a wolhe! Olny samrt peploe can raed tihs bceuase tehy are good raedres! Msot good raedres can raed a wrod wehn the frist and lsat letres are the smae and terhe are the smae auomnt of letres in a wrod!

25 reasons i owe my mother

1) My mother taught me to apprieciate a good job done (If your going to kill each other go outside, I just cleaned up)

2)My mother taught me Religion (You better pray that comes out of the carpet)

3)My mother taught me about time travel (If you dont straighten up, I'lll knock you into next week)

4)My mother taught me logic (Because I said so, thats why)

5)My mother taught me more logic ( If you fall out of that swing and break your next you can't come to the store with me)

6)My mother taught me foresight (Make sure you wear clean underwear in case your in an accident.)

7)My mother taught me irony (keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about)

8)My mother taught me about the science of osmosis (shut your mouth and eat your supper)

9)My mother taught me about the weather (that room of yours looks like a tornado went through it)

10)My mother taught me about contortionism (Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck)

11)My mother taught me about stamina (You will sit there until all that spinach is gone0

12)My mother taught me about hypocrisy (I i've told you once, i've told you a million times, don't exaggerate)

13)My mother taught me about the circle of life (I brought you into this world and I can take you out)

14)My mother taught me about behavior modification (stop acting like your father)

15)My mother taught me about envy (there are millions of children in the world who don't have great parents like you do)

16)My mother taught me about anticipation (Just wait until we get home)

17)My mother taught me medical science (If you don't stop crossing your eyes their going to freeze that way)

18)My mother taught me about recieving (Your going to get it when we get home)

19)My mother taught me about Esp (put your sweater on, don't you think I know when your cold)

20)My mother taught me about humor (when that lawnmower cuts off your toes don't come crying to me)

21)My mother taught me genetics (Your just like your father)

22)My mother taught me how to grow up (If you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up)

23)My mother taught me about my roots (Shut the door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?)

24)My mother taught me about wisdom( when you get to be my age you'll understand)

25)and my favorite: My mother taught me about justice (One day you'll have kids and I hope they're just like you)

Warning: Randomness Ahead

The stupider people think you are the more surpised they are when you kill them

Radioactive cats have 18 half lifes

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunch and good with ketchup

Whoever said nothing's impossible has never tried to slam a revolving door

I'm a palm reader: GASP! You are going to die! But dont worry, you'll live through it.

There are two kinds of pedastrian: the quick and the dead.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Suicide hotline...Please hold...

Don't drink and drive- you might spill the beer

Smile and the world will smile with you, laugh and they think your on drugs

All tresspassers will be shot on sight. All surviviors will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have a nice day!

Dying is natures way of saying "Hey your not alive anymore!"

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?- a bad golfer goes (whack) dang! and the skydiver goes dang! (whack)

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping, when men are depressed they invade another country.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive

Next time you wave use more then one finger please!

I try to take life one day at a time, but lately, several days have attacked me at once!

When oppotunity knocks, shoot first, ask questions later.

I wanted to kill the prettiest person alive and then I relized... oh ya suicides a bad thing

If it's tourist season why cant we shoot them?

Brain cells come, and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever

Don't walk behind me I may not lead, don't walk ahead, I may not follow, don't walk beside me either, just leave me the hell alone!

What goes around gets dizzy and falls over

When someone tells you there are a million stars in the universe you believe them, but when they tell you there is wet paint somewher you have to touch it to make sure

You know your getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you used to get from a roller coaster

He who laughs last thinks slowest

Isn't having a smoking section in a restraunt like having a peeing section in a swimming pool

When I'm feeling down I like to whistle. It makes the neighbors dog run to the end of the chain and gag itself.

Don't play dumb with me... I'm better at it

I hurt myself speed reading I hit a bookmark

Two wrongs are only the beginning

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver, but if you pair that with shouting you get a diamond

It really is as bad as you think, and they really are out to get you

If you saw my room you would understand why I don't have my homework

Cry me a river, build a bridge, GET OVER IT

You can roll in manure and powdered sugar but that doesn't make it a jelly filled doughnut

There are three types of people those who can count and those who cant

Boys are like dogs: say hi, pat them on the head and thy will follow you home

I have a fictionpress!

For all of you guys who are like

- wtf is that? It's like fanfiction except you publish your own stuff :P check out mine :D - http://www.fictionpress.info/u/746166/